The soldier’s Moon Neptune conjunction in fine form…
“P, remember when you were at the Fleetwood Mac concert when you were a kid?”
“You were lonely,” he said, yelling into the phone because it’s loud where he’s at.
“YEAH?” I yelled in the middle of the grocery store. “YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT?”
“Well, when you were there at that concert, I was somewhere else. I was in another state but I was listening to Fleetwood Mac too,” he yelled. “Yeah. They’d just came out with that Rumors album and they were on tour.”
“UH HUH,” I yelled, standing there next to the ice cream. â€˜YEP, TOUR.”
“Well I was lonely too,” he said loudly. “You were lonely and I was lonely at the same time.”
“YOU WERE?” Mars Mercury crossed my mind. “Loud Italian in the store” crossed my mind.
“Yeah, P and I today I could feel both our feelings at once. You were in despair,” he said. “Despair,” he said with his voice trailing off. I could tell he was sad.
“OKAY, RIGHT. I HAD BLACK EYES. I HAD TWO BLACK EYES,” I shouted into the phone. “YEAH I WAS MESSED UP.”
“You were lonely.”
“YEAH. MY FACE. MY FACE WAS… POUNDED. IT WAS REALLY BAD. OW!”
“P, you were in complete despair. And you were so lonely and my feelings and your feelings at the same time…I could feel them together. I could feel them right at the same time and was completely overwhelming. You were lonely and I was lonely. I think we were lonely for each other but we didn’t know it yet.”
“NO I GUESS NOT,” I yelled, still standing in the ice cream aisle starting to feel my chest get tight.
“We met about a year later,” he said. “Something like that,” he added.
“YEAH. WELL I WAS LONELY,” I said.
“I know. Your friend took off with her boyfriend and left you. You didn’t have a boyfriend.”
“RIGHT. WELL SHE WAS I LOVE,” I yelled. “LOVE!”
“But you wanted a boyfriend. You were lonely, P. I know it. I know you were lonely and wished you had a boyfriend too. You wanted one and I wanted a girlfriend.”
“YEAH. WELL I COULD NOT GET A BOYFRIEND ON THAT DAY. MY FACE! IT WAS… IT WAS SEVERELY SWOLLEN. OH MY GOD, MY FACE… MY WHOLE HEAD… I WAS AT THAT CONCERT THOUGH.”
“AND PEOPLE KEPT ASKING ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE,” I shouted. “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE, MAAAAN? AND I GOT SICK OF TELLING THEM. TO HELL WITH IT. QUIT ASKING ME. BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY DIDN’T LIKE THE ANSWER WHEN I TOLD THEM SO I CLIMBED TO THE TOP… STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY FACE! I WENT UP HIGH SO I DID NOT HAVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ALL DAY. I STAYED BY MYSELF AND I DID WHAT I DID,” I yelled.
“Well if I’d have been there and seen you I’d have asked you about your face too,” he said.
“Yeah. And then I’d have asked you if you wanted to be my girlfriend,” he said chuckling. “DO YOU WANT TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND? What kind of stupid thing is that to say, P?”
“I’m sorry I’m so stupid. I’m sorry I say dumb things like do you want to be my girlfriend.”
I laughed. “THAT’S OKAY. THAT’S A FINE THING TO SAY, I THINK. IS IT NOT? I DON’T KNOW. IT SEEMS OKAY, I THINK.”
“Well it’s stupid. But anyway,I felt this today and it’s been bothering me all day. I am sorry you felt lonely like that. I am sorry you were in despair. And I called you as soon as I could… I have been waiting all day to tell you this. Tell you this happened and it happened to both of us at the same time because it did. She was singing… she was singing you know. That Gold Dust Woman song… Rock on- gold dust woman,” he sang, sounding incredibly sad.
“YEAH, I KNOW. OKAY! OKAY, WELL WE MET AND WE WEREN’T LONELY THEN, RIGHT? NO MORE LONELY, SWITCH TO PURE THRILL. SO IT’S OKAY?”
“Yeah, P. It;s okay. And rhat’s right. That’s exactly right. So do you want to be my girlfriend now or what? Because if you do I’ll do everything I can to make sure you never feel that again. You will never have to feel despair like that as long as I am around…”
Finished with the conversation, I bought my groceries and walking to the car, I thought of Cinema Paradiso. There is a town crazy in that movie and the Italians just let him be. This is not the first time I have yelled a conversation to the soldier in the grocery store and I doubt it will be the last which means… it means I am the town crazy and really, I could care less.