Commitment Phobia Is A Serious Problem!

“I feel bad. I just don’t how to get married. How are we going to do it?” I asked the soldier.

“Well it’s like this. We stand in front of a guy and he says, do you take this woman, Elsa P to be your lawfully wedded wife. And then I say, I do. And he says to you, do you Elsa P, take this man, to be your lawfully wedded husband and you say, well just a minute. Wait a minute, I think we’d better talk about this…”

I didn’t laugh because it sounds just like me and I think it’s tragic.

7th house Uranus in aspect to Jupiter – FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM It’s like an impulse see? Between that and melting (Neptune) at the alter I just don’t know the remedy for something like this.

Then you add an audience.. ::sighs:::

I got married once in these spiky heels, standing on grass that had been recently watered. As the preacher read the vows, I was slowly sinking, falling backwards as my heels slipped down into the earth. How’s that for Saturn Neptune? I just disappearing into the earth or hoping to.

They gave us a bottle of champagne and I popped it open and drank half the bottle down. I stopped a minute and then tipped the bottle again.

“What are you doing? What are you doing?”, my new husband with five planets in Scorpio asked. “You don’t drink like that.”

“I do now,” I said, with champagne dripping down my chin.

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Commitment Phobia Is A Serious Problem! — 9 Comments

  1. Just thought about all those wedding videos you see where someone is fainting…..lol – you definitely are not the only person who is traumatized by a wedding. What if you all “marry” each other – make up vows for the kids too, make it a family event, let Dora be the flower-dog……..I am just brainstorming as hard as I can here, lol.

  2. Thanks, Dorothy, you’re on to this. You’ve got me pegged.

    But we have his son to consider and his son’s wife… and if they come then other people… should at least be invited and then they come… or don’t! Either way it starts to snowball.

    Check the comments on the other wedding blog. I am trying to ‘splain this desert thing. It’s damned near impossible though.

    You’d have to read my book and then you’d have to read my other book (which has never been written) and then you’d have read my 3rd book and at that point, everything would make sense.

    But I can’t write those books because I have this Elsa Blog job, LOL.

    My sister (she is psychic) told me 15 years ago, i would never get all this stuff written if I started then and wrote for the rest of my life.

    “Your kids will have to take it up,” she said.

    She also said i would start my family writing for generations but actually it was Henry who did that. I am his legacy.

  3. I was wondering how a very very small intimate wedding in Tombstone or that special place that have significance for just you and the soldier would be?

    Then after the hurdle is overcome and you are more relaxed and the idea of marriage is no longer something stressful because the deed is in fact done :> you and the soldier can then plan the big deal in the church that would satisfy his wish?

    Whatever happens or doesn’t, I wish you both love, happiness and good fights and super making up after the fights LOL

  4. Daemoness – oh no. he doesn’t want the big church thing. He wanted that when we were kids. He just wants to be married however we can manage and just has serious doubts about me and what he calls my “cold feet”.

    If.. er, I mean when it gets closer I will try to commit and then just follow through. Right now we don’t talk about it much because I get anxious when we do so he just says… “It’s a long way off… well figure it out when it gets closer.”

    This is reassuring to me. I mean, we aren’t fighting at all. He understands the situation extremely well and is just trying to get us or guide from here to there. I am grateful because if it’s up to me, we’re not going.

    It’s like telling a claustrophobic to crawl through a long tight space (tunnel) underground. Very hard time getting them to go in that hole and if they do they may panic in the middle and go back rather than forward.

    There is a scene like that in a movie (war prisoners, can’t remember the name) and the guy who masterminds the whole thing panics halfway through the tunnel – turns back. When I watched that scene, I could feel the panic in my chest.

    If you don’t have anything like this, it probably makes no sense but if you do… well like someone said, there are plenty of videos of brides fainting. It’s just too much.

  5. Omg, the champagne dripping down your chin. I sympathize (no, I empathize) but that’s funny stuff! The relief, the angst – your word picture says it all!

  6. …hey elsa, i’ve got that phobia..probably why i waited until i was 36 to get married and what did that ‘wedding’ look like…took 1/2 a day off work and ran down to city hall….i don’t even remember the exact date!!…but next time round…should there be one…ummm…well, even if the earth turns to mud i’m going to enjoy the rain…& you…even if it’s quicksand..soldier is going to pull you out…it’s going to be fine, and all in time…best of luck!!

  7. I can relate totally. I was absolutely petrified to get married. I wanted him to want to marry me is all, but when it came down to doing it I was totally freaked out. Living together was just fine with me and we were for about a yr before we got married.

    I felt I would lose myself and become a chattel, I had no idea I was so freaked out about it all. We ended up getting married at city hall.. me in a black dress LOL approriate in some ways since I felt like I was going to die.. I believed then part of a woman did in some way. There was just his best friend/man and my bud with her honey present.

    In the 70’s where I lived it was still a given to change your name and all that stuff. A lot of needless work imo and now I am back to my maiden name.

    His family was huge and there was always some drunken brawl at any gathering, so no way was I going to do the big dressy deal. Plus we were kids with no money. My parents had a less than stellar marriage and were divorced by that time.. too bad it hadn’t happened years before it did.

    Both my husband and I came from very broken families I think.. some people just shouldn’t have kids. That is a big reason why I never did.

    However it worked out ok.. we were married for over 25 yrs before we separated with him dying shortly after on his motorcycle.

    That was 10+ yrs ago, and now if I should find another that loves me the way I love him… I would still want him to want to marry me but not tie the knot. Been there done that.

    I have to say though that from all I have read, that soldier sounds like he is definitely worth marrying LOL Plus let’s face it.. all of us reading this blog would be in romantic bliss knowing this has finally come to pass. I mean you and he are like Scarlett and Rhett.. nothing less than epic in many ways and we all want that happy ending! No pressure Elsa!!! /cackle

  8. I think at this point if the soldier wants to get you married, it’ll have to be the two of you alone with the JoP/whoever. Sounds like having any kind of audience is pretty bad!

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