Can A Scorpio Man Stay With Someone They Don’t Love?

Dear Elsa,

I would like to know if Scorpio males can stay with someone if they are not truly in love. I sometimes get the feeling a Scorpio will stay in a bad relationship rather than being alone.

Cancer Woman|
Australia

Hi, Cancer Woman.

I’d say a Scorpio man (or woman) can easily stay with someone they don’t love although I think you’ve got the motive wrong.

Scorpio would stay for the resources the person provides, be it money, sex or some other form of energy.

Consider the Scorpios who lurk here. Is it because they love me? I don’t think so!

Anyone else?

Have a question about life or astrology? Ask here!

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Can A Scorpio Man Stay With Someone They Don’t Love? — 93 Comments

  1. Uhhhh….Since I have 3 planets in Scorpio would I be one of those “lurkers”?! Good grief, that is definitely not what I want to be.

    If I am a “lurker” then how do I come out of the shadows? ๐Ÿ™ Any advice?

  2. Jamie, you’re not a lurker. You comment all the time. A lurker is someone who lurks silently!
    Plus I don’t mind the lurkers. There is an exchange and I am supported by it.

    My point was the people who lurk her are in a relationship with me. They stay in it lurking for years and love is not necessarily in the equation.

    Point is there is energy here and so there are Scorpios. Scorpio is attracted to energy – PERIOD

    • Hey guys, I’m an Aquarius. I’m in high school now, and I found myself got so attached to a Scorpio classmate of mine. I’d much love to spend my time and constantly having the urge to see him on daily basis yet it’s fine if we don’t meet.

      He is secretive no doubt, and he talks to me occasionally in class, laughing at others (as a joke Cus it’s funny to him). A minute he can be normal, a min he just ignores when I talk to him and does not reply or react.

      It’s always me texting him though whenever I have questions regardless of any. I have a boyfriend, but I feel strongly for this guy. Could it be the reason I am attached, hence he distant a little bit from me or the status of me does not really matters as long a Scorpio is interested in you?(bcos a Scorpio always believe a status it’s just a status, what truly matters is between you and him, the feeling, the genuine trust and bond)

  3. I wonder on this question. I have several scorpios that I know. I believe they may always be in my life. I guess, once they trust you, they are loyal to you. I suppose if another passion comes along, they may move along, but I suspect they stay in contact. That has been my experience. I dont get too caught up in the scorpio control thing anymore. I was raised by one. I may have become immune.

  4. Okay, I got it. You have INTENSE energy which feeds the Scorpion. Personally, I LOVE your energy! I really cannot explain it other than you speak to my soul, Elsa.

    I cannot imagine not coming here for your daily wisdom!

    I have a big mouth so lurking is pretty difficult for me to do. : D

  5. I’m married to a Scorpio; rising, Sun,Mercury and Venus. We have struggled to stay married for years, and are still together. I’d say yes. lol

    (Why am I still here? I’m a caregiver! hah)

  6. Hmm… in my experience… the male scorpion is unbelievably patient and will wait forever for the “right thing” that is worthy of him. So, if he is in a relationship, he must on some level think it “right.” The ones I know would rather be alone than with the wrong one who would deplete their energy…

    Not sure about the women. My mother was scorpio but she was so secretive… and put up with a lot (i.e. unhappy relationships).

    I am not scorpio but do have Pluto in the 1st. And Elsa’s answer actually kind of fits me… I would stay for the resources/energy…. once that dropped off… it would be pretty hard to stay. So it doesn’t have to be love… but it has to be SOMETHING…

  7. “Is there a difference between stalking and lurking, Elsa?”

    Oh yeah. Stalking implies aggression to me. Lurkers just lurk. They absorb energy and go on their way. They have a meal here like reading the morning paper. You don’t interact with the morning paper, you just read it.

    Some lurkers surface, others never surface. Most who surface only do so briefly, sort of like a submarine lifting it’s periscope.

    How often do you send a letter the editor of the newspaper you read? Some people write all the time, some people never write and some people write if sufficiently moved to. It’s that same here.

    For example, the scorps showed themselves when I put that poll up asking who reads here. They wanted their presence known at that point. They wanted to be counted… for me to know they were there, otherwise they’d have kept quiet – passed that poll by, but no.

  8. I know several Scorpios who are very unhappy in relationships… oddly with other Scorpios. It’s like they’re fighting to the death, neither one willing to let go. I have no idea why they can’t let go when the relationship is clearly destroying everyone concerned. They make me want to tear my hair out… especially when the men come to me for peace and quiet to recharge their batteries so they can gather enough strenght to go back to their partners (until the next time they nearly kill each other).

    • @von, i wonder how is it they come to you? for conversation only or more? i notice that scorpio women are happier with men who allow them to control everything. I’ve seen this with our scorpio female relatives, where they are bosses in the relationship, and of course the men are loyal and giving. maybe some women like fighting alot, which is very stressful. i dont like fighting in relationships. we always hear our neighbors fight every week not daily but alot. my husband hates it too.

  9. I guess I’m a Scorpio Lurker!! I read this blog everyday almost and never comment.

    I have 5 planets in Scorpio and I have to agree with Elsa, it’s very energetic. Depending on the Scorpio, it is either positive or negative. I’m the kind of person who hangs in there till the bitter end, but when I’m done, I’m done.

    • i was looking at my scorpio friend’s FB profile…not stalking perse just looking…also looked at the profiles of his friends. is that grounds for him to suddenly cut me loose? i thought that no one knows that you are looking at their profile page.

  10. WOW! I love scorpios!….and I hate them…and I love them. They are the pitbulls of skies. Like Cassi may be I am inmunized against them. May be still the hate ties them more than love. My best friend trough years is a scorpio ascendant (with mars conjunt asc in scorpio) I think he is the only person that can understand me, and wait for my return because I am phobic to commitment, I stop rapidly and easily friendships that I do with the same facility – He have a venus-libra and a sadge stellium (with jupiter in it) He is not a lurker, nevertheless has attacked secretly several blogs and sites, and other times openly in the name of “truth” I call him a crusade man at the wrong time

  11. my scorpio moon gives me a lot of scorpio energy and so agree with caramia — i’m ultra loyal (and that speaks to venus in leo, too) but when i’m done, you’re toast and nothing, i mean nothing, can persuade me to stick around.

  12. For some reason you tickled both my funny-bone and my truth-bone, Elsa (usually one at a time, it is). It explained… a LOT. About a lot.

  13. I’m an Aries but I have Pluto in the third house and Mercury in the eighth. I would consider myself the “submarine lifting it’s periscope”. I’m drawn in by Elsa’s realness and the depth on this blog…My Capricorn boyfriend has a Venus in Scorpio and stayed in a loveless marriage to a Scorpio woman. He was willing to stay in it because he made a commitment and it was the honorable thing to do in his mind. When she finally was done using him for his resources she left.

  14. I agree with the other Scorpios — it’s not about being alone, its about loyalty and commitment. I stand with someone I love until all possible hope is gone… but like caramia said, when I’m done, I’m done.

  15. And I do have a habit of staying in relationships that are less than healthy… I just know that when its over, it will truly be over. And i want to give it a good chance to work before giving up on it.

  16. Hi there,

    To answer the original question! Absolutely! I, personally, stayed in a rotten marriage with a rotten person for way too long. Because of my ‘limpet x labrador’ commitment levels. Scorpio coupled with Capricorn Ascendant will do that to you i suppose. But there is the other type of uber-promiscous Scorpio too who’s always looking out for the next-best-thing.

    And yes, I lurk here. I used to comment regularly but have been real busy with real-life of late.

    Hello Elsa!

    fondly
    Carrie

  17. <y message before is supposed to say “I don’t mind my lurker status”. I was writing really fast and mis-spelled words, becuase my sister was lurking over my shoulder and asking what i was doing. So it seems that i really do feel more comfortable lurking than actually making comments… i wouldnt have minded her being there so much if i was just reading. But i still wouldnt have wanted her there.. Haha am i secretive, or what?

  18. We know Scorpios can be a Stinger, a Phoenix, and rising to the Dove. I think scorpio Doves are hard to beat, but they seem to be a rare breed.

    My study of scorpios has been pretty extensive(hands on and otherwise) and I would be happy to share a scorpio “Sting or Wing” list, if anyone is interested.

      • Here is an article regarding the stages of Scorpio. This one describes seven stages.

        http://carolynreynolds.net/blog/the-seven-stages-of-scorpio-how-to-understand-the-mysterious-one

        I remember my stinger phase. I remember reading an article regarding the constructive and destructive uses of the “stinger.” It described how it can be used to hurt people. It also described how the stinger can also be symbolic of the act of probing or entering difficult “spaces” for the purpose of gaining knowledge and wisdom. In this sense, the stinger in the form of curiosity that delves into things, that explores difficuIt spaces can turn into knowledge, the gains of insight and wisdom. I decided that I want to alter the way I used mine. Of course, I slipped from time to time, yet I am glad to say, that it has been quite a while that my focus has been primarily on the more constructive end. This is possible.

  19. “Sting or Wing”

    Here are the attributes for Scorpio’s Stinger(unconscious survival mode)and the Dove(conscious loving mode). It’s easy to see how the Stinger depletes energy and the Dove energizes. enJOY!

    heavy – lighthearted
    sulking – exuberant
    brooding – playful
    suspicious – trusting
    blaming – fact finding
    limiting – expanding
    frowning – smiling
    withholding – giving
    killjoy – ecstatic
    scattered – grounded
    jealous – encouraging
    controlling – allowing
    fault finding – respectful
    fearful – courageous
    mean spirited – joyful
    indifferent – committed
    confusing – focused
    depleting – energizing
    distant – engaging
    betrayal seeking – welcoming
    motive probing – supportive
    fickle – sincere
    crude – thoughtful
    excusing owning
    victim pleading – responsible
    persecuting – healing
    dividing – guiding
    burdened – spirited
    blank – expressive
    thoughtless – considerate
    judging – forgiving
    black hole – milkyway
    wet blanket – adventurer

  20. 4tuna – Dang! That’s impressive. Thanks for posting this… I will post it on the front of the blog so it gets a larger audience if you like. Who do I credit?? 4tuna? Do you have a blog or a website?

  21. As a three planet in Scorp Sadge, all people who know me for any length of tend can be uncomfortable with my tremendous energy. Lets put it this, they’d be more comfortable with a whole lot less intensity and/or charm. Which is why its so obvious when im NOT in love with someone, so personally its doomed to failure because most likely they will know when my ardor has cooled. Nonetheless, somenone who truly has my heart, i wouldnt want that to die.

  22. *blinkblink* 4tuna, that list is awesome!!! I’d love to see one for the other signs as well, it’d really help me to see what I need to work on to be my best self. Where can I find more info?

    For the original question, it seems like this is a function of Venus, right? So would a Scorpio Venus stick around if he didn’t love someone?
    From my experience, absolutely!
    My current man is Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct in Scorpio, 12th with Scorp rising. His MO has always been to stick around but withdraw emotionally and ween his partner off slowly so that the pain of seperation is less (in his words). Which, IMHO, is bullshit. It’s likely gonna hurt your partner anyway, so just amputate! Which, I guess is the difference between Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct and Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct. ๐Ÿ™‚ But like everyone has said, once a Scorp falls out of love, the feelings are dead and buried and will not, cannot be resurrected. At least not as far as I’ve seen.

  23. Elsa & SaDiablo,

    Glad you enjoyed it and please add to it if you want. (My research has been centered on the 8th sign as I have a ton of planets in the 8th house). I don’t have a blog but a colleague does that is a numerologist, author, and energy workshop leader who is a positive force in helping people to wake up:

    Add the word lifemath after the net/ and see his numerology page

    thank you

  24. I’ve heard of the Sting and Phoenix. But, not until now the Dove.
    It reminds me of someone that is Pisces sun with Moon and Rising Scorpio. This person fits the Dove so well. I didn’t realize it until reading this. Cool!

  25. “Scorpios love energy.” PERIOD. This is such good feed for this Scorp … catching up as per sometimes. Yes, I stayed with a marriage for 23 yrs because there WAS something … love I wasn’t sure. Security/distance from the old sh– yes. And then … the SOMETHING went away, and the Aries took his marbles, called for a divorce and I needed to find new energy. Ah, ha.

  26. Where was I when this thread began in Feb 08? Geez, living on the streets … reading this now and it’s a perfect time to stroke the DOVE in me Scorpian soul. Thank you 4Tuna whereEVER you are.

  27. It is interesting this question is put before us today?
    Today i visited some friends, they are a couple, he is a scorpio and she is a cancer.
    My timing was wrong visiting them as they were in the middle of a dispute?
    She felt unloved and i do not know what he felt? as i did not want to stay as they were having a serious discussion about ending their relationship?

  28. The Scorpio ex who got engaged within months after me, married an Aries, supported *her* through college, and she became a Doctor. (I’m a single mother.)
    I’d say he got something out of supporting *her*, not me.

    • My Scorpio ex married an Aries right after me, too, and it’s been a shitshow. He told me he’s very unhappy (nah bro, not your escape hatch this time, sez I – lol) but he doesn’t want to lose access to his kids. He sees her homemaking and childcare services as valuable, but the kids are both in school and he has tried unsuccessfully to get her back into a full-time job because he’s obsessed with money. He’s also everything else on the Scorpion part of that list! I was having flashbacks just reading it. Brrr.

  29. My mother is scorpio sun and moon (and Venus and mercury) — 4th house stellium. She’ll stay with my father until the end though it’s a miserable relationship for everyone else. But she gets things from it. As does he.

  30. @Morgan: what scorpio marries and aries? I think he sounds shady even beyond being just a dirtbag…

    i love these threads.. i can pull out the bits and pieces that make me scorp, and that don’t. 4tuna’s list from way back when is awesome!! i am totally all of those these; both sides.

    as for staying in a relationship for the energy, even if it isn’t right. YEP. but i think for me, i’ve stayed because i thought that it could become right (there was a long time when i thought/hoped i could influence/change people for the better.. that time is done). but all of those relationships ended of course.. the energy fizzled/became stagnant/toxic.

    at this point (after being bombarded by saturn for the past two years), i am happy to say my ideas of relationships have changed. i am now more so on the “wing” side of the spectrum. my relationships are still based on levels of energy, but now it is more the combination of energy rather than what i can leach off another.

  31. I have Ascendant, Mercury and Uranus in Scorpio. I guess I was a lurker for awhile, but recently I find myself commenting more. I love you in the sense that I have a lot of respect and admiration for your bluntness and ability to help/deal with people. You keeps it real from your own paradigm and f**k the folks who can’t take a joke! Of course, I don’t know you personally, so my love for you isn’t fully manifested, but if I lived close to you, I’d want to hang out, drink tea or wine, kick it. My Cappy Venus Square Saturn hopes that you’d have time to do this because I don’t like rejection, but I know you’re a busy lady. ๐Ÿ˜€

  32. Scorpio sun, rising and Mars here.

    I am intensely loyal, so I will stick around when others have packed it in, but I won’t stick around forever. Once the line is finally, firmly crossed, there’s no going back.

    I was married for 15 years, and was only in love with my husband for 6 of them. The next ten was deciding if I really wanted out, and then gathering the resources to leave. I even told my husband I was working on my exit strategy, and yet he was completely surprised when I actually did leave.

  33. Scorp asc and progressed sun in scorp. Natal 8th house gem/can. I am here because it is thought provoking. As in life in general, if it gets too randy or dark I retreat into my cancer shell. I have my limits with saturn in scorp.

  34. PS. I have tended to stay in too long. But sooner or later the rot and decay will get to me. Leave or die. I probably could take a lesson from that message on the wall thing and save myself some hardship.

  35. I am a lurker here on this site with a lot of Scorpio in my chart.

    I lurk around this blog, because Elsa’s energy is pure…pure meaning that I’ve never felt like I’ve been fed a pile of horse crap. I appreciate direct, upfront communication, a straight-shooter.

    Who would you love more: someone who pulls the band aid off your arm hair by hair -OR- someone who’s going to rip the band-aid off in one swoop? I prefer choice #2.

    I feel that there has to be love involved for a Scorpio to even choose to lurk. ๐Ÿ™‚

    If a Scorpio chooses to stay in a bad relationship, I feel it has zero to do with being afraid to be alone. It probably has almost everything to do with Ego, and being unable to face that the relationship we chose to invest in is like a black hole/an energy vampire…sucking the very life out of us, but I agree with a lot of you: When it’s done, IT IS DONE. At least this is how I feel.

  36. Scorp rising and lurker here. Because it’s hard for me to place more than 3 intelligible words together (native french) and because Elsa’s great advices + she talks so sincere and so smart. Thanks Elsa, I love U ๐Ÿ™‚

    ps: I’m ok with DharmicDrummer, I’d said the same if I could

  37. Hi Elsa, it’s been awhile since I too have commented on your blog. I have a stellium in Scorpio; including the sun.
    Capricorn gives me purpose and strength. I admire your focused concentration and dry sense of humor
    Love
    Kelly

  38. Thanks Rantares. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m just now realizing that I really don’t give a damn about him anymore. You’ve just validated that for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. Bjork is a crazy scorpio she beat up a reporter once! Probably more we haven’t heard of. I’m afraid of her. Oh and my sister the scorpio when we were kids she would always get my arms in a deadlock position. She was violent. But she overcame her violent ways (actually we were having fun but she was also a violent chick like me) and is now working with severely retarded children. So she ascends her lower instincts every day with that job thank god! or we’d be in serious trouble lol. Don’t let her catch me writing this lmao. Ah I love her.

    • i was reading an article on bjork, it is disturbing and distressing if she just went cray on someone who just welcomed her into the city even if it’s a reporter. However Bjork said the woman was harassing her for 4 days. she’s got that cap venus/cap mars and a stelium scorpio. capricorn can get down too.

    • I don’t see Bjork as a liar. I’m sure the reporter deserved it to an extent. I’m glad Bjork at least saw her part in it, and didn’t excuse her actions.

  40. Hi There!
    Yes! My husband is a Scorpio and DOES NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE!! He has proven it from the 5 year affair that he has been engaged in…off and on. He stays with me because I take care of the business and home for him. Things he can’t do for himself. He is one of the unevolved Scorpios…in my opinion. His sting is terrible!!! I, however, am a Sun in Pisces with Libra rising. Totally different.

  41. I wouldn’t stay with anyone I didn’t love. But if you have children and a mortgage its not easy to just run out the door.

    I have been married too many times :/ and I am the one that left each time. No love no me. I am not afraid to be alone and in fact would rather be alone that be in a loveless relationship.

    Once gone….long gone. Never to return, communicate, visit for old times sake. Never thought of the term amputate till I came here to visit. That word rings bells for me. Bye means you never existed in my world.

    Now, all that said…. I sure do have a whole lot of love to offer. That kind that would stand loyal to the bitter end. Just have to get some back.

  42. I have both sun and moon, as well as pluto and mercury in scorpio and I definitely stuck out a very unfulfilling relationship regardless of my unhappiness out of a deep sense of loyalty and committment towards to my former partner. I can genuinely say that I have only felt that one amazing, soul level, deep connection once. And as hard as it was to deal with my partner’s insecurities, jealousies and overall self esteem issues (which were a huge turn off both figuratively and literaly speaking) it took me over a year of fighting for us to regain what we had, until I finally let go. Maybe it was my own sense of dependence on him, but I really do believe that once a scorpio TRULY loves, it’s absolutely forever. Sometimes you just can be with the person in spite of that love.

  43. My friend is a Capricorn married to a Scorpio
    They have been married over 25 years an you can tell they are both miserable. He stays away for weeks at a time. She Saud it’s been over four years having sex. I can’t understand why they don’t see it’s not good a just get a divorce. She has never worked so I know that’s part of the problem. He will have to support her. We all know he’s seeing other women.

  44. Hello I met this aqua sun moon in scorpio man. I am cap sun moon in pises Omg! He so sexy I melt with him. I am older by 10 years. It started out him being my sugar baby but now he is all over me, calling me every day he says that I made him feel very special like never in his life. Hmmm??? four failed marriges. What do u think.

  45. Hi I’m a Scorpio women and been married to a Taurus man for 17 years. Before we got married it was great I thought I’d be happy forever . About a year after married we had our first fight. Wow explosive !! I saw a side to him I’d never seen before. I started to hate him. I withdrew and stopped communicating as it always ended in fights. I knew I’d married the wrong person. I didn’t leave as I was pregnant and was too scared to leave. Our relationship got worse , violent physical and emotional – and went on for years and years and three children later and I still hate him. he acts like nothing’s wrong always happy and jolly but I find that Extremely irritating. Everything he says or does really irritates me. I just turned 40 and now I’m soo scared that my life is wasting away. I have so much passion in me I just don’t show it to him as I don’t love him and can’t connect to him emotionally. I have NEVER a told him I love him ever since our first fight 17 years ago! But he doesn’t seem to care! My kids also can’t connect to him and always only want to hang out with me as they saw all the abuse at first hand. I always thought I was a strong person. But in this marriage I became so weak. I never thought my life would end up like this.
    I recently found out an old boyfriend from 20 years ago is going through a separation and this news got me so happy and excited. I want to reconnect with him as I know we had so much fun together but am so scared of rejection and of course someone finding out . And I feel if I don’t connect with him now then the opportunity will be gone forever and I’ll never be happy again.

  46. Hi I a true Scorpion my life has been like a best seller each page is riveting my life is always thinking planing hoping praying and guesting most of all self sacrificing. But never boring. The Scorpio is of a patients nature and never wastes it’s venom.

  47. Hi Elsa, my scorpio just broke up with me. Hw said he did not live me anymore. It was my fault. I kept pushing him and acting so unappreciative to his loving efforts and attention. We’ve been together for 14 months. Whenever i was unhappy, he always did his best to cheer me up. And realized my mistake. We’ve been trying to work it out for a while. What should I do? I told him I’m very sorry and to please reconsider.

    • We are friends now. He came over to my house and we had a good talk then watched movies. Should i pretend that I’m not affected and happy to be friends? Will that make him change his mind?

      • Hi, Michele. If he’s a Scorpio and you broke up yet he’s still “friends” with you then I’d say he’s still interested. Otherwise, you’d not see him again for a long, long time. I wouldn’t play games but instead be very honest about your feelings. I think he’s testing you because you treated him poorly and he wants to know what’s really inside your heart. The not loving you part is his self-protective shield. That’s just my take on it. Please don’t try screwing around with his head pretending, because it only gets uglier from there.

        • He’s still willing to be around me. Should I tell him that I feel the same way? Or just maintain contact? I don’t really know what to do… scorpios are just so confusing. i shouldn’t beg but i also have to be honest about how i feel. Any tips as to how best to go about this?

          • When the time seems ok, I would ask him outright why, in his heart of hearts, he broke up with you and emphasize you are ready to hear the real, bare, deep dark reason. Maybe you already did that in your talks but Scorpio likes to bury these things and make you dig for them – just to be sure you’re sincere. I would ask myself why you might have felt unappreciative in the first place and what would happen to change that? It would need to be a permanent change because Scorpio likes to be appreciated. It’s something that doesn’t always happen easily for them. Good luck!

  48. Well, amazingly enough, he agreed to still take me with him to go meet his brother and his partner. We’re leaving today and will be staying there for 4 days. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’m not even gonna hope anymore. I’m just gonna enjoy this break and see where it takes us.

    I’m an aries by the way.

    • “I kept pushing him” I’m an Aries by the way.
      I am a Scorpio that was with an Aries for some time. The pushing ended it. I remained as friendly as I could with him for a time….but he ended up pushing again. He was just being himself. Someone else may have done well in the situation. I knew it would never work. I eventually had to just amputate….

      He went on, so did I. We were both better for it.

      • My scorpio still wants to be part of my life and i also want him there even though we’re just friends. What do you suggest I do? We got along so well but lately I started to expect things from him instead of appreaciating all the effort he does do. How do I make him see that there is a chance? Oh and I’m not the patient type too.

  49. I’m Pisces and my scropio bf and I have some down time rite now he still say he love me but wen he say it I don’t feel it anymore I love him soon much and it killing me that he pulling away. I don’t want him to be unhappy but I just found out that I am pregnant and o not sure if I should tell him now cause I don’t want him to stay because of the baby I want him to stay because he love me. I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want an unhealthy relationship I want us to be happy with each other. Do u think if I tell him he stay even if he doesn’t love me anymore.

  50. Aqua girl…moon square Pluto scorpio moon. I vowed never to fall in love again and I recently met a scorpio man..5 planets in scorpio. Of course I asked him out…he blushed and said he couldn’t because he was already committed. It feels karmic. I get along really well with the women. And I don’t like women that much. This is a one in a million man. Guess it’s not meant to be though.

    • Hi Aqua, I am an aqua lady too. I am going to tell you straight faced! Get out! Fast sweetie! Listen to me. I wish I saw your post before today. You see above, look at these poor people, they are being taken advantage of! You leave him right where he is! We are special ones not to be abused and believe me on my life sworn in honesty to you that this will be the worst move you make in your lifetime! My chart is everything the same as yours. We are really good kind people that don’t deserve this type of individual in our lives. I have deep suffering. Years with a monster. Five children born in a sad home. Whores coming to my home every other year, phone calls from random women that bother my sacred home for my children. Years of no love, just abuse. I don’t wish my last 27 years with that monstrosity on anyone! He will ruin you inside. I know you are strong and can get him where it hurts but still if you can avoid it all together then why not have a real life or at least wake up wanting too. You will try to have hope but no it only will only always get worse. Always worse! If I didn’t have children then I would burn him alive in bed! Do you hear these poor poor people pleading these men to stick around! That is sad for them. They don’t think they deserve better in life. Don’t end your breathing. Ever wonder why so many wives don’t speak up on these boards? Maybe they figure hey my throat got slashed and so no one stopped it from happening to me so ehh… I am helping you today. You know he tried to take everything from me… but he didn’t take my confidence.
      Good luck,
      This isn’t the journey partner for you love, live and let live

    • You said, this is one in a million man. No that is what he creates surrounding you, creating this bull..t illusion that mask of intensity hanging over you to cloud your judgement. Confuse you is how it starts. Listen I can help you. I didn’t know years ago how or why. How to put a force surrounding myself where he could not obtain access to my personal. I got better and stronger than ever. Now his attempts are powerless. You can be strong to do this. If you are still with him, I am sorry for you. I could help if you need me. It’s separating, closing off, and depending if you are with seething want for equal suffering for him. So it overall depends on your specific case. I would help others not just Aquariuses but unfortunately some can’t help themselves. I think they just aren’t strong enough. I am done with him and although it’s unhealthy for myself, I want him to receive 27 years of suffering. I always told him, you don’t manipulate me, no need to do so, there is the door but some people like delving into dark waters. Many people try hard to have me be let it be. No you don’t take 27 years of my life, in moments of weakness he hit me down on the ground hard! I am very strong! I got up every single dam time! Stronger and colder!!!! I don’t have little babies anymore, moments of weakness! He will not extend his hand, believe me on that one, he will smash your head down harder love! This is the monster under your bed that as a kid, were scared of. I took everyday that he served up his unbelievable cruelties! Everyday stuck! I always got back up on my own! Just as they bestow strong sting, we too bestow unique abilities to say the least! He doesn’t even see me coming! I won’t rest til he gets his equality relationship! Remember that is what he seeks equality and so with my teeth clenched, honey you will get equality in all areas baby! Right to the bitter end and I do mean to the bitter end! Look up the articles on Aquarius compatibility! I wish I had that research to lean on back then. Anyway, they say in one article, how this relationship is equivalent to the godfather! Yes! They are most accurate. To the bloods we go. One of us must die! He must endure what he has inflicted upon my children and myself. Every single slight made to me must be done in return to him, before I take my last breathe. It is right and fair. I read how sex is some kinda transforming spiritual bonding for them! Do you know what I did? F him. I held back all feeling one night in bed with him.holding all motion and verbal away from the act. Basically giving him the feeling of having sex with a robot or f me doll per se! He didn’t act anyway to indicate his hurt! But I knew that bastard was masking! I knew he was hurting inside! Good make me feel all tingly inside! I refuse to stop,I am being appreciating to him, only reciprocating what was given to me from him is now being returned! I warned him straight faced stop slighting me!

  51. Stupid nonsense about transforming to a Phoenix and what not! Are you f…ing kidding me man! I told him come a little closer sh.tbag, I will transform you! Please excuses! Listen he is a user transforming to manipulator and so on.. Control freak. Dishonest. He can’t deal with dishonesty! Wait what?# You can’t deal with dishonesty?! Yes. He can’t because his blood is dripping dishonesty! Coward! Listen look for motive! If he is settling with you there is reason aka motive for him doing so. HE ALWAYS HAS AGENDA!

  52. Harboring others resources. Agenda that is what were talking about here. I know exactly what he is after. He is after my inheritance. Guess what I am steps ahead of him. He isn’t getting a penny. I warned him. Don’t keep slighting me. Unrelenting a..hole.

  53. Let me say. He is a coward. He fears. I don’t. I will choke you out with the same hand that once extended to you in time of need! They are always looking for cancer signed women! Because of manipulating these poor women. Yeah compatibility with their kind hearts. Noooo not with me, once I deem you a crap turd, that’s final. Hey I did extensive research baby! He goes to such great measures to make you believe his utter nonsense but it is just nonsense!

  54. I’m a Scorpio sun/mercury/pluto venus in Libra at 28 degrees. I personally enjoy lurking on this site and I enjoy consulting with Elsa because I enjoy her viewpoints. I would have to disagree that I would stay in a relationship with someone I don’t love. Love (Venus in Libra) is one of the most important aspects of a relationship to me. Elsa knows this I’m sure from our consultations. All I want is to find my life partner. If that love lacks on my part I can’t stay because I don’t think it’s fair to that person. I’m hoping with Uranus opposing my Venus/sun/Mercury in the 4th that my life partner will show herself. I understand that transit can be tulmutous, but I have faith and hope. Not all Scorpios are the users or abusers they’re made out to be by the way. It just depends on the person. It’s kind of like Elsas post “what makes a psychopath” or what aspects make one you can’t tell that nor can you tell whether a Scorpio is a user/abuser just by their sun sign. There are good ones and there are bad ones just like everyone else in my opinion.

  55. Well as one of the lurking Scorpio’s I can’t speak for others but for myself I stay not only because I love you but also because you are a fantastic astrologist and most accomplished story teller. You give great advice and you speak in a direct way that you don’t have to think what did she mean by that exactly. There is no confusion about what you mean and I for one appreciate that.

  56. I am scorpio rising with north node in scorpio in the 1st conjunct the ascendant. I have taurus in the 7th house (descendant), and I have stayed in the past in relationships because I had trouble letting go, trouble admitting that the relationship wouldn’t work and trouble knowing when to cut my losses.

    I am very happy with my current partner (taurus sun and other personal planets in that sign) yet I see that we both might be capable of being in a relationship for security and other resources. The fact that my partner is good with money is a very appealing factor to me, apart from his sense of humour (sag rising) and his stable and grounded personality.

    It took me dating a taurus for years to accept that money, resources, sex can be factors to stay in a relationship!

    Being a pisces I don’t see myself staying in a loveless relationship – it would be soul-destroying for me. Yet I am only 41 so time will tell – ah!

    But I get that it is possible. Elsa talks about currency and values, and she is right I think. For some people, love is not the currency that they most need. If love comes in the package – for some people who value more things other than love – then it is the nice cherry on the top.

  57. Suspect the scorpios you know have venus in Libra (common for scorpios) which is why they don’t like being alone. I notice a lot of scorpios marry for money as the 8th house rules other peoples money so I would agree with resources.
    Elsa, your newsletters are so insightful! Thank you. Loved your recent one about Saturn entering Capricorn.

  58. I am Scorpio November 21 and have a Scorpio brother who is October 26. He has been married for over 20 years to a Cancer lady, and has repeatedly cheated. He will not leave her, and she will not leave him. I may be wrong, but my impression is that both enjoy the “social status” of being married too much to make any changes. I also think that their “egos” are part of it. They like to “look good” and “normal” to other people. Separating and divorcing would not “look good” to them.

    I am also a Scorpio, and have never cheated on anyone. EVER. Go figure.

  59. My double Scorpio Dad went from a position of absolute control to an equal in marriage to my Capricorn (Libra Asc) mother. She took the reins after being a stay at home mother turned career lady! She out paced him financially and mentally and reformed the union according to her directives. He could never leave even though the love/friendship was gone. They supported each other loyally but it wasn’t what I’d call warm or emotionally fulfilling for them. My Mom took her own parents’ divorce very badly at age 18 and married that same year!

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