Black Moon Lilith in the Fifth House – Dark Creation

pillarsIf you have Lilith in the 5th house of your chart, her themes will manifest in terms of sexuality, pleasure, creativity, and children. It may seem as if life’s pleasures are always either denied or warped.

With this placement, you probably grew up quickly. You were denied the chance to have a real, innocent, free childhood. Because of this, many people with Lilith in the 5th choose not to become parents for fear of not being able to protect their own children from the darkness of the world. They also often fear that their own darkness and pain will be inflicted upon their children. If you have Lilith here, you know what I mean. If you do have children, you will be hyperaware of their experience and be fiercely protective, making sure they have the innocence you were denied.

The 5th house rules sexuality, and here we often find a very literal interpretation of Lilith’s myth. She attempted to stand up for her right to equality, to pleasure, and to having sex in a way that pleased her too, and she was instead dismissed, coerced, and wounded. With Lilith here, you have certainly experienced wounds in terms of sex and pleasure, and you responded either with a total rejection of sexuality or with promiscuity. Either way, the goal is to take back control and confront sexuality on your own terms.

The 5th house is more than sex and children. It is creation, period. It is concerned with artistic expression and bringing forth something new into the world. With Lilith here, your creativity has been met with disdain or cynicism. It always seems to fail to meet some outside expectation, and is instead relegated to the margins.

This is just a sample of the ways that Lilith could manifest in the 5th house. But there are a few pieces of advice I think apply across the board. First, pleasure is not frivolous. It is our birthright and we should be empowered to seek it on our terms and for our own benefit. And finally, we don’t create and express ourselves in order to please others. We create because we must. It is part of what it means to be human. So shine on.

Do you have Lilith in the 5th house? What is your experience?


Comments

Black Moon Lilith in the Fifth House – Dark Creation — 35 Comments

  1. I have a 5th house Lilith in trine with my Ascendant so it wasn’t as bad as your article paints it but there are many truths in there (misunderstood creativity, sexual encounters that hurt your self-esteem, etc) but I think with time and patience, we can deal with these hurts and make something good come out of them (if nothing else learn more about ourselves).

  2. Lilith 5th in Scorpio. Too early exposure to sexual knowledge, S&M and graphic spanking books (narcissist parents) seen by age 7. Early sexual activity by 11: giving head. First intercourse at 12 with 19 year old cousin.

    I really enjoy sex, sensuality … relationship currently complicated as partner’s father molested his sisters..

    • You described very similar events in my ex husband’s life, he also has black moon lilith in Scorpio, will u be willing to discus a few thing with me over via email. I have a son with this man and will explain more confidently

  3. You perfectly described my sister’s BML in her Aquarius 5th house. Her 4* BML is conjunct her 6* Chiron/Moon conjunction and close to her 9* Aqua Vertex. She was my mother’s confidant and only privately shares her artwork with her inner circle. Plus, she is a huge “helicopter parent” with her daughter. Interestingly, her asteroid name and her daughter’s asteroid name are conjunct in her chart.

  4. I don’t know if I relate. I have this placement tightly conjunct Chiron. In an equal and whole sign house system, but not in placidus. I did relate to your Lilith in the fourth post but I am more of a 5th house wounds gal.

    I got in trouble with psychologists as a kid for my ideation and they thought I was abused. I was not. I was a weird kid from childhood. Don’t know what to tell you. But a thwarted and repressed sexuality resulted along with a long virginity. At that time I related to that movie the Piano Teacher, only cause the desires got warped and directed in weird ways internally. I also have a 12th house Mars opposed to Venus. And some past life stuff asdocia

    As far as creativity, it’s fucking hard to turn that tap on, I fucking suck at it, people usually don’t approve of it when I display it, when I’m front and center it goes haywire. My appetites also tend not to be sated the way I hope.. not being pretty enough and sort of not trying to shed body weight creates limited options and I’ve learned that one night stands don’t work. I never feel like ‘the prize.’ and I never feel like I took home the head of the boar. Idk where the fuck my creativity went either.

  5. One thing I can tell you is I did have a childhood. Very much. I am still sort of a child.

    I still don’t ‘ring the bell’ tho.

    I come from very deep Jewish helicoptery worry stock even though I believe in not doing like my parents do and letting children fail. So they don’t become human omelettes.

  6. “Do you have Lilith in the 5th house?”

    I do, and pretty much all that you wrote applies and resonates! So, thank you very much for holding this mirror for me to see myself and nod in recognition. “Hey! That’s me!”

    ”It may seem as if life’s pleasures are always either denied or warped.”
    Yep, pleasure and me have always had a tenuous relationship.

    “With this placement, you probably grew up quickly. You were denied the chance to have a real, innocent, free childhood.”

    Yep. Saturn square my Sun, etc. didn’t help.

    “Because of this, many people with Lilith in the 5th choose not to become parents for fear of not being able to protect their own children from the darkness of the world. They also often fear that their own darkness and pain will be inflicted upon their children. If you have Lilith here, you know what I mean.”

    You took the words right out of my mouth. As a child, I had already made the decision I was not going to bring any children into this world. For exactly the two reasons you mention, although I framed them slightly differently, but same gist. When, as a teenager, my mother threw at me “When you have children of your own, you will understand!!” I assured her I was NOT going to have any. She insisted I would. (I never did.)

    “She attempted to stand up for her right to equality, to pleasure, and to having sex in a way that pleased her too, and she was instead dismissed, coerced, and wounded.”

    I grew up gay in an era when gay was beyond taboo, and bad, bad things were done to you if it became known, or even was just suspected, that you were gay. Enough said.

    ”The 5th house […] is concerned with artistic expression and bringing forth something new into the world. With Lilith here, your creativity has been met with disdain or cynicism. It always seems to fail to meet some outside expectation, and is instead relegated to the margins.”

    Yup. I’m definitely on my own here. But I have always lived on the periphery. Of everything and everybody.

    “First, pleasure is not frivolous. It is our birthright and we should be empowered to seek it on our terms and for our own benefit. And finally, we don’t create and express ourselves in order to please others. We create because we must.”

    I’ve lost or abandoned much in the past decade or so. The one thing remaining is my main area of creativity and self-expression: my research and “my books” (in progress). I have known all along that there would be few if any readers for these books. At this point, this is no longer relevant (although I still find this sad). I have made the decision to continue working on them, and am trying to finish one this year, or next, or whenever the forces beyond my control permit. Why? Because *I* want to read the finished product! Who was it that said “If there is a book that you want to read and it doesn’t exist, you must write it”? Not sure, Toni Morrison I think.

    • “I’ve lost or abandoned much in the past decade or so. The one thing remaining is my main area of creativity and self-expression: my research and “my books””

      I love this. it’s like a purification. cleansing you until you’re left with only what’s truly valuable. this quote really helped me, my friend.

      I have Lilith (Libra) in the 5th, along with Chiron (Scorpio) and the Moon (Libra). Creativity, joy, fun, friendship, pleasure, intimacy. These things matter to me above all else. I’m in my 20s now, and I’ve been deprived of these things up until this point. I’ve lost many relationships (Libra) over the years. I’m ‘left’ (as you put it) only with 1 quality friend. No family. Just relinquished a lover (5th house).

      I desire a chosen family of friends (Saturn in 11th house…), and if I were to ever have children (which is highly unlikely but I leave the door slightly open), A LOT of things would have to be in place. I will not even get into it. You have no idea. Well…maybe my 5th House Lilith ppl do know 😉

      Though it didn’t tickle, I’m at the point where I’m deeply elated that I’ve been stripped down to the bare necessities. I’ve never had so much peace (Libra) since before I entered this world. I also have creative projects (5H) that speak on or pull from my childhood experience (Moon). I see this being my most valuable contribution, even though I’m in pain (Chiron).

      I have been trying to understand where I can find my family “estrangement” in my chart. I’m unsure if my Lilith placement points to that? It could explain the “rejection” (5H) that I’ve faced. And my Libra (Lilith & Moon) can outline the projection I face? Pluto has also been transiting my 7th house, so there is that…

      My Moon in Libra (5H) is square Mars in Cancer (1H), opposite Saturn in Taurus (11H), and square Neptune in Aquarius (8H; Neptune is also the ruler of my 10th house (father)). I also have Sun Square Saturn, opposite Uranus, and opposite Neptune.

      Is anyone able to shine a light on where my family issues may be highlighted? In the aspects & placements written above, and also other possibilities that aren’t so direct as i.e. Saturn ruling the 4th? (I have no planets in the 4th. Virgo is there & Mercury is in my 3rd house conjunct my North Node. Mercury is also Trine Saturn, and Sextile Moon;; Capricorn is in my 7th & 8th. Saturn is in 11th)

      Much love.

  7. I have it, in the anaretic degree of Virgo. A lot of this hits the nail on the head, a bit too well! I haven’t figured out how to use the energy to its greatest advantage yet. Still caught up in shame and creative blocks.

    • I’m thinking about the idea of creating just for the sake of it, without worrying about it meeting certain standards. The sexuality stuff, well that’s another story, I definitely wish I were totally straight and normal sometimes, it’d be so much easier than what I’ve had to deal with.

      And yeah, don’t want to pass my messed up mental baggage on to children.

  8. Is there some marker in there that you suck at being a child and are a dark child? Like you’re aware that you’re a fucked up child and that childhood is dark and weird and the whole idea of tabula rasa is bullshit?

  9. Dear Midara,
    I love how your Lilith articles can, and in my case, are being applied to one of my favorite creations … a medicine story written earlier in my journey with chronic illness and isolation. The story was birthed with a 5th House Lilith, and with your insight I am REBIRTHING her in time for Ancestor Worship and my mom’s 102 birthday (A Pisces) coming soon. The things that you describe here are grist for the mill … a way to grind the bits and pieces of the original story to feed the present, and future.
    That last paragraph “… And finally, we don’t create and express ourselves in order to please others. We create because we must. It is part of what it means to be human. So shine on.” means so much to the rebirthing of this 5th House Lilith medicine story. I so look forward to being midwife to her come this March 11th birthing! Thanks for the goods. A tip is on the way, Midara.

  10. Hi everybody, ascendent leo, sun gemini, neptune in sagittarius in 5 house opposition sun, lilith in sagittarius in 5, opposition venus,
    i been looking for true love sense i was 5, i got marry and have 4 beautiful kids, they are the ones that dont want kids.

    creativity 0 creativity, i thing is that opposition between sun neptune.

  11. Wow! The only asteroids I was really aware of before were Chiron and Ceres. I’ve now edited my birth chart and find I have a Taurus Lilith in the 5th house. It all makes so much sense and I feel like I’ve found the missing part in the jigsaw! Serendiptuously this has also coincided with some recent events/reconnections which have helped to heal a major Lilith wound.

  12. I have lilth conjunct jupiter on the fifth house cusp and I found that my childhood was painful with all the hatred of my father and I do feel scared about having kids and they experiencing the pain that I experienced. I just think no one deserves a childhood of pain.

  13. I have Lilith 5th house in Cancer

    Early Exposure to Sexuality
    I never acted just knew about it until I was 12 and gave head and it wasn’t with a family member so not too bad

    And I still do have a Fear of having Kids but I always had this fear from a young age of 11

    But I knew how cancer Lilith would work and how in 5th house but I wonder how a Cancer Lilith in 5th house would be described in an article and if it’d be similar but this article summed me up mostly…

  14. Spot on. Like you read my life…
    (From my chart)
    Lilith Aries 12°03′ XI Libra 3°32′
    Lilith in V house
    Moon Sextile Lilith 1°44′ 117
    Saturn Conjunction Lilith 6°57′ 24

    I haven’t had sex in 8 years. I gave up due to back surgery in 2002 causing damage to nerves that affect my ability to orgasm, I can’t anymore btw, men who cheat and also prefer underage girls (Seriously, it’s creepy how this plagued me), obvious trust issues and just being tired of the mental and physical exhaustion required to deal with men. Plus, I was preyed on as a child and a teenager so I already had that load to carry before the next 4 decades of BS. But yes, you have described Lilith in the 5th house well for me.

  15. I have Lilith 5th house in Scorpio.

    I’m 23 years old, male and still a virgin. I haven’t even had minor experiences with women. (Also some different placements that I think may be additional to the reasons for this =

    Saturn opposition Lilith.
    8th house Neptune square Lilith.
    Mars in Virgo and opposition MC.)

    As you said, my childhood ended early. But I think I’m still good about creativity, art, enjoying life and hobbies because I also have a Libra stellium in my 5th house. The ruler of my ascendant and Venus are also here. I truly think I exist to express myself creatively.

  16. I have Lilith in 5th house in Sagittarius. All of this resonates, as a victim of child sexual abuse from a relative, I’ve disliked sex my whole life.

    Physical intimacy is something that is revolting to me, and I’m only just starting to unravel that in therapy, and I’m 31 now.

    Also, as a child of addicts, I had to grow up too fast, and if I ever have children, I can see myself being insanely protective, especially if I have daughter.

    Despite all of this, I am an artist, I paint, I write and I just love creating things. Currently, I have found my passion in social work, helping people.

  17. Lilith in aquarius in 5th house. Abortion at 37 y.o, first pregnancy, which destroyed me. Chaotic love life: emotionally unavailable or very selfish narcissistic partners, no true intimacy. Trust issues. No normal childhood either: a single child of a narcissistic mother and a codependent father, i was denied normal free development.
    I am now looking forward for my life to end to hopefully never reincarnate into this misery. I hope for only one thing: that my aborted child forgives me.

    • I have Lilith conjuct Chiron in my 5th in Gemini, I absolutely relate. Had an abortion at 31, felt absolute rejection to motherhood. I have tried to make sense of it, hope there was a contract were we agreed things would happen exactly the way they did and it gave me the awareness I now have on the matter. No unforgiveness or anger on the other side, I am sure! Only light and understanding ✨️

  18. Accurate is all I can say. Especially about being scared of what type of parent I would be to my child. I’m definitely a different type of mother, not normal..kinda out there but I love my kid to the moon & back. And I am ? overprotective of my child because I was exposed at a very young age of things that were extremely inappropriate. I am aware of the ugliness that humanity can have in some people. It’s a scary world

    • I have Lilith in 5th house and in scorpio, conjunct Pluto and in the 5th and Scorpio is also the moon…I can’t say my childhood was bad but I was very responsible and had to grow up fast.
      I have issues around sex which I honestly don’t know where they come from.
      I am a Gemini sun so I can flip pretty quickly and I think this manifests in the way my black moon Lilith comes out. When not in a relationship or in early relationship I am quite free with sex, not promiscuous but definitely have a healthy sex drive. Sleeping with people outside of a relationship definitely does not bring me joy, however once settled and loved in a happy relationship I almost fear sex…it’s not that I don’t enjoy it because I do but it takes me a lot to feel comfortable in my sexuality. It’s a strange thing but I feel really strongly it’s related to my black moon Lilith and some sort of fear and holding back. I feel like there is some past life trauma holding me back I haven’t quite got to the bottom of yet…I am 32 and always wanted children but also a bit petrified of it at the same time.

  19. I have always felt ambivalent about having children or not. I have Lilith and Chiron conjuct in Gemini and I worry that I will have children who manifest traits of Lilith or Chiron. Will they be rebellious or really hard to raise?

  20. I don’t resonate with this so much. I had difficulties growing up but that didn’t interfere with my enjoyment of sexuality or hamper my creativity. I always wanted children and felt I wanted to share the good things in the Universe with them and was lucky enough to have a child in my early 40s. I did experience a serious sexual assault at 20 but was able to recover from the fallout via my spirituality. I think Black Moon Lilith gets a very bad rap. Mine is exactly conjunct my natal moon in Aries, btw. It is true that my creativity has not gotten a lot of “press,” but that is due more to my own fears about sharing it. I have done so some with music and writing and gotten some encouragement but I have difficulties persisting in getting my work “out there.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *