Astrological Red Flags When Dating Men

red flagA reader asks:

Regarding the opposite sex: what is the number one astrology aspect or configuration that you stay away from?

As in, what, if anything stands out as a ‘signal’ or red flag for you (for you personally), and is this due to personal experiences?

Thanks for the great question!

I don’t stay away from anyone for any astrological reason. People are too complex. Also, there are exceptions to every rule and there are people who are exceptional in general! This doesn’t mean there aren’t things that catch my eye and cause me concern.

As far as a lover goes, I have always avoided really airy men. You can’t get ’em down on the bed to save your life. They’re usually not interested in me either, because I bog them down.

Also personal to me, but also widely applicable, I have concern when I see both the Moon and Venus beat up in a man’s chart. My number one rule is to run with men who like women and when I see this stuff in a man’s chart, I’m careful.

I can’t tell you that I have a lot of personal experience with men with those aspects because I don’t. My learning has come primarily from working with the charts of clients and their partners. I suspect this is because I gravitate towards men who adore and appreciate women and these are not the kinds of aspects you see in charts of men who really like women.

As an example, my husband is known to be cruel. Cruel! However, Venus and the Moon in his chart take no hard aspects as well. He would never harm a woman. This is very telling.

It’s only cases where BOTH Venus and the Moon are besieged that I pay attention. And I don’t just convict, I ask. I might ask a woman who is with a man like this, “How does he treat you”? Because being inclined in a certain way is nothing more than that.

When looking to partner, are there placements or aspects that you avoid?

Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here! Also, please include your location. It adds a layer of interest!

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Astrological Red Flags When Dating Men — 95 Comments

  1. Pisces. I love Pisces men but should stay away from them because it usually ends badly. Scorpio men because they try to control me. Saturn, Pluto, South node there = heavy… Otherwise, it’s fair game 🙂

  2. I think this is great. I AM someone who attracts men with those hard aspects. The current guy i’m crushing on has Moon opp venus, both square uranus in a mutable t-square. he’s friendly to me, though a bit flighty.

    My question – I myself HAVE those aspects. I’ve got a moon squaring both venus and pluto. (though thank god not a t-square)

    I think that, for me, I know I have to resolve my own moon/venus/planet squares…

  3. whoops – my question was – is this inevitable for women who have similar aspects to the men you describe?

    Does it become a double standard to only think of the men as having a red flag?

    • Hrae, I would not say it is inevitable a partner’s chart be like yours. I have a chart of trines and routinely run with people who do not.
      I don’t understand your double standard question.

  4. Okay – I understand about not attracting like

    I was thinking it’s a double standard in the sense that, women have those very same aspects, and while I know you were advising caution around men with afflicted Moons and Venuses, should the same be said for a woman? Should any relationship, regardless of whether it’s romantic, lead someone to be cautious if they have those afflictions?

  5. Anyone with Cancer personal planets… They’d make a big ole conjunct with my Cancer Jupiter in 7th (and consequently oppose my Cap ascendant, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune). Usually they’re good friend material but not much else–I get a “baby me please, I need help!” vibe from them.

    I also can’t hit it off with Aquarian types either. NN is in Aquarius and they usually make the best friends I could ever have, but there’s zero romantic connection (though I do get a little possessive)

    I have Moon sq Venus, so they’re both in bad spots. Aspect one of them badly and you’re punching all of my personal planets too.

  6. Overly earthy types, especially Virgoans. My best friend is a Virgo, a quadruple one, and I love her dearly. But it wouldn’t work for a romantic relationship. Well, maybe it could. I don’t know, I never dated a person with lots of Earth. It just sounds bad as an idea.

    One thing that I know for sure is that an Aqua moon, although beneficial as it could conjunct my DC, is not a plausible candidate because my Venus-Pluto in Scorpio couldn’t stand the detachment. Plus it might conjunct my Saturn…

    To see how a woman treats a man wouldn’t it be more fitting to see how the Sun and Mars aspect each other?

  7. Men with major planets in middle degrees of fixed signs. I’ve always done it in the past because it triggered my t-square, but no more! Now I run like the wind. Also men with no or low water planets.

  8. I agree with Lis on hard Neptune aspects. In my experience, hard Neptune aspects play out like the #@$%%%^ Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ video for me after awhile. The fog lifts only for me to realize that I’m surrounded my monsters and they are trying to eat my guts out. It’s hard being both a Neptunian and a Plutonian. My love life starts a dream and ends a friggin’ nightmare each and every time..smh

  9. So should a man with afflicted Moon and Venus not bother wanting a healthy relationship, seeing as its highly unlikely they can approach one the right way?

  10. Men with many planets in air signs.
    I have manyyyy close friends and we get along very well, but nothing more than that.
    For some weird reason we dont seem to attrack each other in that way. Its more like brotherly/sisterly love,if that makes sense:)

  11. Well, I have moon opposite Venus in a T-square with Saturn and I don’t hate women. I just don’t fit in with traditional femininity. I guess it depends on how we manifest those things, and a man with those issues is more likely to take out his not-fitting-in/dissatisfaction with femininity in a different way, which may be bad.

    As for the question, to be honest, Mars/Saturn gives me the heebie-jeebies because most men don’t seem to be taking care of their anger in a practical, not-aimed-at-their-loved-ones way in my experience. This is not to say that some can’t handle it–I’ve known the occasional mellow M/S guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly. But most of the ones I have known really seem to want to take out their rage on a woman. Hell, even with a synastry contact it can get scary. My dad didn’t have M/S natally but had it with me in synastry and boy, could I piss him off. Never anything physical, mind you, but I felt like I was inadvertently setting off a volcano frequently. It unnerves me.

  12. Mars-Neptune or in Pisces. I can’t handle it if it triggers my Pisces and Sag planets.

    Also strongly Cancer and Cancer Mars men tend to make me cry because I cannot see the punches coming and everything ends up being my problem, never his. I’m sure it’s just the way it hits my chart, highly personal to me.

  13. The love of my life had Capricorn Moon exactly square his Aries Sun @14 degrees.

    Plus Venus conjunct Chiron in Taurus. I think Venus/Chiron must be a sign for “heartbreak.”

  14. What a GREAT question!!

    I actually see what you mean in the moon and venus taking hard hits in a man’s chart. Most my close guy friends and the men I’ve dated have moon and venus in easy aspect (to each other).

    They’re very kind and gentle to women, no matter what they’re like in the outside world. 🙂

    I hate to say this because I hate type-casting people, but I usually avoid Aquarius-heavy men. They’re too detached! My Uranus and 11th house signature should like them… but my EMOTIONAL side doesn’t. 😀 As I am too detached myself, it is the emotional side of me that needs to be won over.

  15. In my experience, energies work both ways. Bad aspects for the Moon, Venus, Mars, Pluto etc can come out as man-hates-woman or as woman-hates-man. If both partners are evolved enough, nobody hates anybody. So, the trick is to choose a partner who’s on the same evolutionary level as you. I mean REALLY on the same level. Imaginary levels do not count. Unfortunately, a lot of people rank themselves too high or too low, which leads to choosing the wrong partners. I’ve done it myself, so I should know.

    Judging by my chart, I should be the most evil man who ever lived. In practice, however, I have this little thing called free will, which means I can either prey on people or I can hate predators. It’s a simple choice. It’s also perfectly possible for people with favorable aspects to use them all wrong. Mars on Venus can easily be used for cheating. Regulus Mars trine Venus in Sag, trine Jupiter in Aries can easily attract so many partners there’s no real incentive to settle down, but the aspects do look fabulous. How about Mars in Scorpio on Alpha Serpentis, trine Venus in Pisces on Markab? That’s a really nice trine, till you check out the descriptions of those fixed stars. Finding positive expressions may prove more difficult than one might think. How about a Grand Earth Trine of Virgo Venus on Alioth, Mars in Taurus on Hamal and the Moon in Capricorn on Facies? The aspects look good on the surface, but there seems to be a slight possibility of this guy effortlessly driving his numerous women to suicide, after some unspeakable acts of cruelty. Admittedly, it’s perfectly possible he could also find some positive use for a star associated with female suicide, another associated with cruelty and a third associated with violent death, broken limbs, war and what not. With all of them linked so closely together, however, this may be a bit of a problem. With a Neptune square to Mars, he might be perfectly normal, extremely suave and charming while sober, but an ogre after a couple of beers. Still, no hard aspects to Venus and Luna.

  16. I’ve had a few serious relationships with men who have the Leo / Aquarius opposition, esp Sun /Moon and in retrospect I can see exactly why that made them so hard to deal with

    If I had my time again knowing enough astrology so see what’s in play here, which I didn’t at the time, I’d be very wary of that particular combo. In fact I;d be very wary of Aqua altogether in an emotional relationship

    I’d also run a mile from any man with both an Aqua Moon and a Gemini Venus

    • I feel the same about a gemini moon – so very dual in my experience. Oh and personal planets in pisces (moon/mars).
      Although that might be my sadge planets coming out.

  17. My moon and venus are beat up… badly. What do you say about women who have venus and moon beat up? What would a bad aspect be for a woman?

  18. Well anyone who looked at my ex’s chart https://www.elsaelsa.com/forum/ – will see how horrible it was. So, Moon Square Mars and Sun Square Saturn. And he also have Venus/Neptune conjunct (both Scorpio) and his Venus was also conjunct my Neptune in Scorpio. But I thought conjunction were good but maybe not for Venus Neptune still better than the “square” and speaking for which….

    For me, I am now worried about the Neptune hard aspects for synastry – I have Venus in Leo square Neptune in Scorpio – and I want to date men around my age but this means they will also have Neptune in Scorpio too – which means that their Neptune will always be square to my Venus. 🙁

    I don’t want to date guys 15 years older than me to have a Neptune in Libra nor a guy younger than me to have a Neptune in Sag – because neither one of those would need up square. I am doomed!!!

  19. The moon is typically the mother in a person’s chart. You’re relationship with your opposite sex parent (if you’re straight), growing up, is the foundation upon which future relationships and interactions/treatment with the opposite sex are based. So, yes…I think the moon is especially significant in a straight man’s chart (…and probably in a homosexual man’s, as well, for that matter.

    Recent guy had Venus rx conjunct Pluto, conjunct Sun in Scorp in the 12th….whole thing squares his leo moon AND his Aqua mars. Also trines his Jupiter in Pisces….and man is he charismatic and charming….but it’s starting to look like elsa’s take goddamn dead on accurate. 4x now guys with similar aspects, similar situations. …actually, identical situations. All had Venus rx, too.

    And per the very Airy men, and getting them into bed…ugh, God. Too accurate! Last serious relationship had Venus/mercury/mc/Pluto/moon all in libra, all conjunct. No sex for 4-5 years. Very affectionate, but that was it. Great friends…but it ended because of the sex issue.

  20. Same hear. Too bad I screwed either way. Everyone my age has their Neptune square my Venus. I go older, and I still have it, plus Uranus aspects to my moon, sun and mercury. Started going younger….as much as 5-10 years….and they STILL have either Neptune square my Venus, OR Neptune conjunct my AC (they all seem to project this fantasy girl onto me…each having told me how beautiful, gorgeous, I am. Each can’t believe their own damn luck that I came into their lives….and each disappeared the MOMENT the feelings were reciprocated). And finally…the younger ones all have a Uranus within orb of squaring my Venus. And no matter what, the composite Uranus is also square my natal Venus. Great…clearly.

  21. I was madly in love with a man with Moon conjunct Uranus AND Pluto. Plus Venus square Pluto (wide orb though). And yeah, you can imagine how that went. Just as things were progressing and he was feeling the love – he ran. It was intense and powerful, but short-lived. He had a string of short-lived affairs. I think he finally settled down but I can’t imagine what it would be like to be married to him. Too much “i love you, get away from me” for me to handle.

  22. Scorpio men. They could be not-my-type, and I’m still attracted. I learned my lesson once, and now twice. I can’t seem to avoid them. Pluto 7th. I honestly don’t know what I should be looking for, as far as astrology goes.

  23. Hi Chandra
    My moon and venus are also beat up–they’re squared by a Mars/Pluto conjunction so I learned early on not to date men whose personal planets activated this tough square. You’re young so it may take a while for you to grow into your difficult moon/venus aspects.

  24. @starf “Everyone my age has their Neptune square my Venus. I go older, and I still have it. Started going younger….as much as 5-10 years….and they STILL have either Neptune square my Venus, OR Neptune conjunct my AC”

    Wow, that explains a lot! I hadn’t thought about the generational placement of Neptune. Those my age are square my Venus also. I had to go 10+ years younger to get a trine!

    Thanks for your post.

  25. @STARF – Me too! Just reading your post I realize that I have ANOTHER problem. I have a Scorpio ASC AND my Neptune in Scorpio is in my 1st house! I already get that “fantasy” thing from everyone (not just the guys my age) But yeah, now any guys with Neptune in Scorpio with have conjunct my ASC. Of course of many of them will also have conjunction with my Neptune too but I can’t see how that can be TOO bad of the things or we wouldn’t see so many couples close in age because of the generational aspect. I still think a conjunction isn’t that bad. I think there is an orb of degrees of squares meaning if you can go back or forward so many degrees (different for each planet) than there isn’t as much influence – meaning you might still be able to date someone with the same Neptune sign but either several years older or several years younger so the degrees aren’t that close. I know I have a list somewhere – I have to find it.

  26. I’ve always avoided Aries because as a Cancer I’m pretty awful at confrontation and whenever anyone shouts I start cowering. Also they tend to trample all over my feeeeeelings.

    On the other hand my husband has an Aries moon and he frequently tramples all over my feelings, but my tolerance has increased (just as he has increased his tolerance of my moods).

    I’ve always gotten along best with people who have a Sagittarius Sun or Moon, but in terms of sex and pure physical chemistry Capricorn has always done well by me. (Not that sex with others is bad, simply that Capricorn and I fall most naturally into sync. Bonus if the man has a Mars in Capricorn).

    My husband has a somewhat afflicted Moon (it’s in the 12th, conjunct Chiron, opposite Pluto although it is also supported by a sextile to Jupiter) and a beleagured Venus (head of a t-square with Mars and Uranus). I’d say he is not the easiest person to relate to because his feelings are skittish – I like to be adored openly, whereas he adores me secretly – but he is the kindest, most honourable and trustworthy man I know. He was raised really well and it shows – I enjoy the benefits of that daily.

    He really struggles with trust and intimacy though (which is fine, so do I) but we’ve reached acceptable compromises over the years.

  27. i am a man who has an afflicted moon and venus and i would never harm a woman, nor do i hate them. but i will say that it is hard for me to trust women as they have hurt me soo badly in the past.

  28. so i would strongly suggest not writing men off because they have hard moon or venus aspects. as i said i would never harm a woman, on the contrary i want very badly to have a loving relationship. its just my moon/venus makes it hard to find a good woman.

  29. mars conjunct neptune, oppositions with saturn to your venus or your moon, scorpio men. though, unfortunately, i’ve looked at their charts and said, “whoa” and then gotten involved anyway, thinking, “this time it might be different”. “whoa” again.

  30. awesome blog post.:D
    I’m with you, Elsa, i stay away from airy men (it’s more than sun sign, as my libra brother in law is dominant water and earth and he’s a good husband and support for his wife, my aries sister); i just don’t even know their birthday….just a feeling, an intuition, you know.I can tell!! i could tell right away my husband was awesome in everyway and would never let me down. I was fearful at first because i had to sacrifice alot, like being away from my family, but he never let me down at all. i’m still in close contact with family all the time, but he is the best man ever in my life and gives me emotional, mental, and security that i’ve never known in my life before. once you have it, and have experienced the “bad” or the “mediocre” …the ones that don’t make the par, the ones that don’t give you how you really want deep inside, it is heaven once you find it.

    i feel sorry for those dominant airy men, but maybe their fate/destiny isn’t to be a house-husband, or husband to a family. they’re too airy and detached, so maybe their destinies are to do something world-wide, and not one-on-one with a mate — it is too difficult for them i’m reading – not enough attention, which is a huge PLUS and need when you have to be in a relationship. You will disappoint your mates who need love and security.

  31. I’m someone who attracts unhealthy men (as I am still single… turning 36 in dec). It’s a joke with my friends about the type of men I do attract…

    My number one issue are Pisces men (BUT… the ones I have dated their Sun conj my South Node which just spells trouble for me). I also have issues with men having too much Air… it just doesn’t work for me.

    But, it depends on how the person chooses to uses the energy. I have a couple amazing guy friends, that have dated at one time over the last 20 years, have hard aspects to Venus and the Moon.

    I have noticed for me, men I need to run away from… (when I say hard aspect I mean conj, opp, and square….

    Sun hard aspect to Pluto
    Venus in hard aspect to Saturn
    Mars in hard aspect to Uranus
    Moon hard aspect to Neptune

    Sigh…

  32. I find at my age (soon to be 50 and in my Chiron return)Men with Neptune 6th house. Need to check other aspects.
    Thank you

  33. The only man that I had to take legal measures in order to keep him away from me had: Neptune tight square Mars. He had a tight mars square pluto and a mars square Jupiter.

    His Sun and MC conjuncted my dejanira asteroid. It became a very dangerous relationship for me. I’m lucky I got away (as in lucky to be sitting here and typing and not deceased).

    I read a lot of posts on the internet about people wanting to know the “soul mate” aspects, or the so-called “fated” and “karmic” relationships. Well, be careful what you wish for because a karmic relationship might not be a good thing.

    If someone were to just glance at the synastry between me and this man their eye would be immediately drawn to the fact his Jupiter is conjunct my venus and my north node is conjunct his moon to exact degrees. They would also see that four of my personal planets fall into his 7th house.

    It was a nightmare and I had to take a restraining order against him. To this day when I go back to my hometown to visit I always watch over my shoulder and it’s been 30 years.

  34. That’s really interesting. I’d have thought than soft venus or moon aspects might be good, but what I’ve seen, at least in my teens and 20’s, is that men like this are usually popular (and not just with women, generally popular). That’s great – they vibe well with women… BUT some misuse that popularity. I’ve seen this when the moon trines venus, particularly if the sun, moon, or venus are in scorpio or in libra. The most manipulative (but oh-so good looking) male I’ve had the misfortune of getting to know was such a man – trines to the moon and venus, with scorpio and libra energy strong in his chart. Everything to him was a game, was a manipulation. Yuck!

    Or I’ve seen soft aspects to moon/venus guys to be [emotionally] needy. This can be great in some ways, but time-consuming and draining in others.

    So as a result, I really do not put such a great weight on moon/venus guys anymore. As for girls & friendships – moon/venus trines and sextiles make them wonderful.

  35. I can’t seem to resist Taurus and cancer men but I think it’s because I have venus/moon conjunction in first house – one of them will always see me coming. and have Taurus on six what serves me and cancer on eight. Have met the almost impossible number of men with venus square saturn. Said next time I see it I’m running like hell is after me. Always a detachment that starts out warm and grows cold quickly. Don’t understand it unless its my ascendant ruler jupiter which is in a waning square to saturn. Sun sign ruler also square saturn. Hmmmm….maybe that’s it. My venus personally picks up an exact sesquisquare to uranus in eight house Leo but cancer (moon) is house ruler. Gosh I Guess when you look at these the energies are less obvious but very strong. I just want to work out that sesquisquare because I hate to think I’m actually the crazy one. Can’t seem to evade neptunians either but mars is conjunct neptune in my chart so that doesn’t surprise me a bit. But back on topic – I see those moon/venus trines as a route for some of the negatives aspects to play out. Women see them and go “ooh he’s so sweet”. You usually can’t lie to, cheat on or abuse someone who doesn’t trust you in the first place. My last s/o said he had a lot of problems with women because he was so insecure until he realized how charming his smile was and how smoothly he could talk to them. He has the trine but afflictions to moon and venus. So if he’s a nut the trine just helps it to happen.

  36. Mars and Uranus in the 7th….especially if they’re a Scorpio. I know. I WAS married to one for 23 years. And he had a Capricorn rising. Wow. Gemini moon. Insane!! And me being a poor little Pisces ;),with a Leo rising, ’twasn’t easy, my friends!! I love those Geminis as friends, but yeah, the air signs, yeah right….NOT!!

    • Mars in the 7th house in natrorious for causing high volatile energy, argumentativw, insatiable sex drives. Mars in the 12th is also lame because is causes hidden sexual perversions. If a partner has lots, like 5 or more, planets I the 5th house they can tend to be players. If your plane’s are aspected by your partners chiron, that can indicate a wound they can heal, but only after they cut it open, which is incredibly painful and takes a lot of maturity to not blame the other.

  37. There are only a handful of sun signs that work well for me, and after years of online dating I can safely say that astrological sign is the best indicator of compatibility as far as search criteria go.
    I’m always wary of heavy Pisces/Neptune men because they turn vicious when disillusioned. But my real ‘stand up and run away’ combo is mercury-Pluto combined with Aries energy. I’ve found men with this signature wind up being very verbally aggressive, even abusive. The conversations are intense and fascinating…but they never stop. It’s almost impossible to disengage with these folks, and I’ve had to cut ties in harsh fashion several times. They’re the ones who scare me and simply will not let go. The stress of interacting with them becomes overwhelming and very unhealthy. The stress is simply not worth the effort!

  38. I am not too keen on Aries in Venus or Moon. I tend to see these types as too selfish and lacking in self-insight.

    I don’t mind Scorpionic types because I think they are capable of loyalty even if they can be controlling.

    I am cautious when I see Mars afflicted by Saturn or Pluto.

    I was once married to a man without a single planet in earth and it was a disaster. So my rule for a long term relationship is it’s got to have some earth.

  39. Moon square Mercury, Mars square Venus, Pluto square Venus is who I am involved with. Wish I’d known more about this.

  40. What an interesting post. I recently was talking to a friend who discovered some unsavory things about the man she’s in love with. She’s already told me quite a bit about him, so I had heard he had a dreadful mother. I can’t remember his whole chart, but the Moon was square Uranus — not that I’d take that or any other configuration as some final verdict on someone’s character, but it was interesting in light of what she had said. When she got a sext that had been meant for someone else, and was upset (of course) we talked it over and I mentioned something a therapist once said to me — ‘Find a man who liked his mother’. I thought that unfair, because I have issues with both of my parents that I have struggled with. I would hate to be eliminated because my parents were difficult and abandoned me. But I have to say, I’ve come to see her point and I’ve served my time with men in whose chart both the moon and Venus were afflicted. I would never rule someone out on the basis of astrology. It’s a fantastic tool, but people can handle the energy in charts differently. Anyway, I would like a man who has a lot of earth (I have none) — and is funny, smart and kind. And trustworthy.

    • Definitely! This goes back to “mother issues” and the moon /venus represents the woman/mother archetype. That’s the woman he looks for generally. So weird how that is. If he hasn’t resolved his issues, he will take it out on the woman he is searching. It is very subconscious. Many men don’t even realize it, but they are violent, cruel to the women (in a very physical and abusive way). Kind of like same with women, who have “father issues”…something like the daddy complex and mother complex, perhaps.

  41. Once I met a guy who had Moon opposite Pluto,Venus opposite both Saturn and Uranus in his chart.And his Venus was in Gemini.A very complicated man…

  42. I would agree on the “harsh” aspects to Venus or Moon – someone who lacks enough self-insight and awareness will, at some point, indulge in manifesting the downsides of these aspects. Personally I don’t want anyone’s Jupiter anywhere near my South Node.

  43. Why avoid any relationship in the first place, unless you know it’s something that can lead to physical or verbal abuse? Relationships, including contact (personal or otherwise) with negative aspects should be challenged because aren’t they the things that help us grow. The ‘bad things’ are the challenges and lessons. You can never avoid it. It will always find you.

    • Once you’ve had your fair share of lessons and challenges, you know yourself better and can make choices accordingly – seriously they are loads of challenges and stuff to fight for; it’s just easier if your are united with your partner to fight external challenges rather and have challenges both in and outside of your relationships…

    • I use to think the same thing untill my marriage blew up in my face. The hindus explained it in a mars aspect called manglick. It use to be considered a bad position, but really it’s accounts for half the population.

      • I use to think the same thing untill my marriage blew up in my face. The hindus explained it in a mars aspect called manglick. It use to be considered a bad position, but really it’s accounts for half the population.

  44. There are some aspects I stay away from if the person is not or has no interest in therapy. With therapy, I’m fine. Without, we’ll, I feel like there’s too much issues.

    Badly aspected moon in the fourth house, especially if it has Pluto in there. I am done dealing with partners who haven’t dealt with mommy issues.

    Moon in Scorpio, there’s a lot of brooding and shifting moods there. They gotta have learned how to process all that. With therapy, they are amazingly intuitive people, without, we’ll, the mood runs the show.

    Moon or Pluto in the 12th, especially if badly aspected or in a water sign when it’s the moon. Again, therapy. That kind self undoing is gonna take me down too, and I want off that ride.

  45. I have mars in Scorpio squaring Venus in leo and moon in Aquarius thus forming a Tsquare. Believe me, I really have to work on being nice in my relationships, I’ve had a couple of very aggressive ones. People who don’t know me well, would never suspect I can get that crazy and possessive, (libra ascendant) plus the Aquarius moon wants to be detached, Venus in Leo shows off and mars in Scorpio tries to dominate :-/…..I’m working on it thoug! Thanks to astrology…

  46. And as far as avoiding certain signs or aspects…I’d say Venus/Neptune in hard aspect, also Venus/Pluto. I love Gemini women but I’ve had enough with two ex’s. They’re just too spaced out and can never find their keys hehehe. Mars in Pisces or in 12 house with weak aspects…I prefer fire!!!

    • Oh me in 2015…bless your little idiot heart! It’s 2017 and I’m a bit wiser. Neptune has fogged up my clarity for four long decades. Was just talking to my mom. She was talking to the woman my dad left her for in 1979 when I was six. The woman apologized and they commiserated on what a bastard my dad was. Selfish alcoholic control freak. “My dad really is an alcoholic, huh?” “Misti! You KNOW that he is.” “Yeah, but he’s high functioning. He’s always had money.” I should go to AA meetings. Went to a few with my Capricorn ex. His Venus in Aquarius exactly squares his Taurus moon and opposes his Leo Uranus…all at fifteen degrees. He also has Mars Pluto square although his isn’t as tight as mine. Jupiter and Neptune on his ascendant. Ah. Clarity.

  47. Moon square or opposite uranus men. Harsh emotions. These men are seriously detached from their emotions and are great pretenders. I have a hard time understanding how someone can profess they love you and that you are very important to them and then suddenly just not feel it anymore. Clearly their emotions are shallow if they are quick to abandon them and you. Similar to aquarius moon men but much, much worse.
    Venus square or opposite pluto – these men have issues with women. If they are over 25 then they have already met the love of their lives and messed it up badly or are beyond emotionally scarred from being cheated on (Think Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears) In that case, you will spend your whole life trying to heal the hole in their heart. They also tend to like love triangles.
    Run. Unless you are into polyamory, or have no life and want drama.

    • I was in an on & off starcrossed thing for 11 years w/ someone: Gemini Sun, Moon opp Venus square Uranus AND venus square Pluto. Holy crap! Looking back, this explains a LOT! The only reason we lasted is his Venus was exactly conj my South Node/Saturn and the YOD in my chart and his Moon directly opposite conj my North Node all squaring my Sun/ASC/Pluto. His Pluto exact on my ASC. Ugh. I didn’t know astrology then but he would go from so loving & warm (Moon conj Jupiter) to instafreeze emotionally out of the blue. He would deny it but it was so scary to me – I’d say “it’s like you’re a split personality!” He could never stay in one physical place more than 3 days (always bouncing between 2 or 3 locations.) I have a lot of Pluto/Uranus in my chart and come to realize why I attract this over and over in partner’s signature. (I’ve got Sun conj ASC & Pluto in Libra all squaring Saturn, Merc/Uranus conj on my Sun/Moon midpoint – similar to having sun & Moon conj Uranus, Moon conj Venus in Scorp & my Mars in 8th.) Ugh!
      I’ve been seeing a Libra guy with tons of earth Moon conj Venus & Pluto in Virgo all conj his South Node. Mercury also in there exact on my ASC. Weirdly, he has the exact same configuration of Merc/Uranus conj his Sun/Moon midpoint (all on top of my Sun/ASC/Pluto.) Phew! Who knows if it will last but I feel like I “get him.”) Looking back, I realize how many of my male friends have moon square pluto. (My one longtime boyfriend had the inconjunct. He was such a sweetheart to me but his Mom was a nightmare!) I’m thinking if I had to choose I’d like the Moon or Venus pluto conjunction rather than square or opposition. They are intense but if it’s otherwise not badly aspected, they can do ok w/ a mature partner they can work things out with. I would imagine attractions are pretty specific, they fall hard early and there tends to be the theme of “the one that got away” or a very early karmic relationship. Always very guarded and slow to trust no matter which configuration of Pluto is showing up. 🙁

  48. Another recent ex is Gemini with Libra moon. Stellium in Gemini in the eleventh. Elsa nailed it. He was too airy, always flitting around like a damn mosquito. Couldn’t keep him in bed. The other two exes from last year have Taurus moons but not a tight enough trine to my Virgo moon. I’ve decided I need and want a partner who tightly aspects my Virgo moon and Pisces Mercury. And there has to be complexity. A man with an apple pie easy chart would never be able to fathom me. I’m not being a snob, just realistic. I’m a veteran of love’s gruesome battlefield. My ideal partner has to have plenty of battle scars of his own.

  49. A young man with moon 25deg in Taurus conjunct Algol in the 12th house as a handle of bucket pattern. Moon is opp Pluto in Scorpio in 6th house. Sun, Mars, Mercury in 5th house all square NN, Uranus, and Neptune in 8th house. Gemini Asc squares Venus and Jupiter in 4th house. Saturn in Aquarius in 9th house-midheaven. We all thought this brilliant & talented full ride engineering student was super–destined for grad school in MIT or Stanford until the Sheriff picked him up for Pedophilia, Internet soliciting of young girls and porn distribution. We never thought to have his chart professionally analyzed prior to marrying my daughter. His secret of the 12th house Algol, the demon star has ruined his life/career plans. Victims have come forth. Families betrayed and an infant daughter now has to be protected. Help others identify problem charts prior to hurting innocent victims.

  50. I love airy guys! My first boyfriend was a Libra and he knew what he was doing (!) – lasted for 3 years (I found him quite boring once the novelty of sex wore off). My subsequent boyfriends – 3 were aquarians – I kept in bed for a long time (no I didn’t chain them – they stayed voluntarily). Astrology says aquarians are detached, but mine have been really into sex. Strange as I have no planets in air signs although my ascendant is Libra.

  51. My most recent ex:
    Aquarius moon, packed 11th, Mars and Venus in Aries opposing Pluto =
    ZERO affection, selfish and boring in bed.

  52. Dated a Gemini sun, Scorpio moon, cancer ascendant.

    Sun in 12th conjunction black moon both opposite Saturn and Uranus in the 6th.

    Moon conjunction Pluto in the 5th both square Venus in 2nd

    Grand trine in water (1st Mercury , 5th moon-Pluto , 9th Jupiter)

    Mars conjunct Neptune in the 7th…

    If you see that please run!!!!!
    I am not joking. It was terrible –

    Emotionally manipulative and emotionally abusive. Self serving.

    Dr Jekyll and mr hide syndrome ( perfect in public; horrible in private the moment he does not get what he wants)

    The 12th house secret was/is the occult – “energy” work gone bad – think sinister “healer”.
    The sad thing was he had a gift but uses it so negatively…

    I never understood why some people with positive aspects like grand trine use it negatively?!??

  53. I have learned, the hard way, to avoid partnering with anyone having predominant placements (sun/ ascendant/ stellium) conjunct my south node. Their journey is taking them to a place/ has them focused where I have already mastered. I tend to compulsively return there because it makes me feel safe in the familiarity of the old, even if it was riddled with dysfunctional enmeshment, which distracts me from staying whole in my own path. Maybe this would not be such a big deal if I didn’t have mercury, my sun, uranus and mars conjunct my north node! Charts are complex and must be considered on an individual basis. Functional mastery is possible for everyone.

  54. Moon in Cancer=not getting up off the couch or planting roots more than a mile from family.
    Moon square Pluto=issues around personal value and needs
    Venus in Scorpio=boil the bunny
    Venus conjunct Uranus = unpredictable, here one day gone the next, especially when placed in Scorpio
    Progressed moon in Scorpio=no respect for woman
    **these are my personal expierences**

  55. Pretty much everything has negative possible manifestations with the Sun, Leo, and the Fifth House. It can easily indicate a perversion, sexual abuse, and/or abuse of children. Some of these are not worth risking.
    So, I avoid…
    *Double Sun/Fifth House/Leo, because it could manifest as pedophilia. (A triple+ case IS likely a pedophile.)
    *Scorpio/Pluto/Eighth House Suns, because it can indicate a deadly STD (the Scorpio in my friendship circle growing up), fertility problems (my brother), miscarriages, abortions, infanticide, etc. It is the worst possible placement of the Sun, and clearly the most dangerous.
    *Nessus aspects to the Sun, because it can indicate rape, molestation, child theft, or thievery in childhood. Nessus is the planet of theft, and copying.

    I’m also weary of…
    *Cancer/Moon/Fourth House Sun could manifest as pedophilia, or a pedophile victim. It could also manifest in a man who wants other men’s wives.
    *Capricorn/Saturn/Tenth House Sun men, likewise, could manifest as pedophilia, or a pedophile victim. And, it could manifest as a woman who wants other women’s husbands.
    *Gemini/Mercury/Third House could indicate twin fetishes, two-timing, threeways, love triangles, sexual experimentation with 1+ siblings, or having twins (or beyond) when having children.

    There are healthy possible manifestations of all of the above. So, I’m not completely righting off Cancer, Capricorn, or Gemini.
    But, I’m sure as Hell not touching a Scorpio, or a Leo.

    • For the record, my own Sun is in later Virgo, in my Twelfth House, Conjunct later Virgo Pallas in my Twelfth House, which is in turn Conjunct Libra Mercury in my Twelfth House.
      I consider Pallas to rule over Virgo, and Juno to rule over Libra.
      Going into the rulership of my Mercury gets complicated.

      Yes, I do have perverted possible manifestations of my Sun. But, they’re not truly perverted. It’s just things like liking to wear lingerie.

  56. He has Sun inconjunct Neptune and Saturn opposite Mars both square to Mercury and he’s a Gemini. I was oddly disturbed when he really didn’t get the point of a film I love (clique, I know). We have a very tight Sun square Venus. He tried to physically intimidate me but I don’t scare easy (enough). It was when he talked about excuses for not paying a regular amount (no matter how small) to support his son that I realised just how self centred he is.
    A previous very timely Elsa blog also woke me up a little. Thank you.

  57. My red flag is Jupiter retro in any sign. I’ve seen downright lazy, lacking ambition, and/or just being perfectly content to let others take care of them.

  58. I’ve been reading through the comments and I see some things I can relate to. Especially that Cancer personal planets as in my ex’s case, his Moon fell into my 12th house and I have no idea what are his emotional needs but the vibe I got, it was a mother figure (and then no sex life seemed to fit right in there).
    I’m not sure if he has afflicted Venus and Moon. He has Moon inconjunct Mercury and Venus, trine Jupiter, loosely conjunct Saturn and square Uranus and Chiron. And his Venus is sesquiquadrate Pluto and trine Uranus, opposing ASC and sextiling Chiron. I guess he falls under afflicted territory? Plus, he’s an Aquarius and it seems airy types are not relationship material. 😀

  59. My son’s moon is conjunct Uranus. Hopefully I can help him to form positive relationships with women! Everything I read on this aspect is negative 🙁

    • It might suggest he has a mother who is interested in astrology 😉 As the moon often describes the mother maybe you can name the ‘good’ Uranus elements within you and since the energy will be expressed either positively or negatively, encourage positive balanced expression of positive Uranus unorthodoxy, if that’s even a word. Hopefully you have a free spirit there. 🙂

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