Are You A Loner?

Recently someone characterized me as a loner. The remark was not judgmental.Β  This was the conclusion the gal came to when considering what makes me tick.

I don’t feel like a loner. I feel like an individual. I feel like a happy, social, individual for that matter. But my perspective may be skewed.

As for an astrological signature, people with Pluto conjunct the ascendant are seen as loners in the world.Β  You could extend this to Pluto in the first house. Perhaps Pluto transiting the first house would manifest this condition as well.

Are you a loner? How do you see this in your chart?



Are You A Loner? — 83 Comments

  1. @Renee, I’ve become very close to someone in the last six months with a 12th house Sun. How I would characterize him is that his private life is just so very private that few get to peek in. Perhaps this is just the flip side of the loner coin?

    Generally speaking, I’d posit that it could have something to do with personal planets, especially the sun or moon, in the watery houses. Just a theory, I’d be curious to know what others think. I have an 8th house sun (one of five planets there) and a 4th house moon, and I do relate to the loner theme a bit. I can be very social but I do require more than most people (I think) some time to recharge alone.

  2. I would say Pluto opposite ASC as well because it is a lot similar to death of close relationships and any form of intimacy.
    The people I met with Pluto in 1st house may be loners at heart but not on the outside, many are drawn to them, they seem to enjoy social situations and they are quite charismatic.

  3. A person who thinks deeply can be mistaken for a loner when they are simply absorbed in their own thoughts. I don’t know of anything in my chart other than Virgo rising which might make me appear more standoffish at first. I sometimes see myself as a loner but maybe that’s just because I like being left in peace.

  4. I have an aquarius sun in the 12th house and I definitely need time alone to think. I enjoy going out and socializing, I do make friends easy but its hard for me to balance my huge need for solitude.

  5. Saturn’s transit of my 12th house has made me feel like a loner. It’s actually been good for me, it sure allows for some creative fantasy time, I’ll say that.

    As it inches closer to my AC, I’m feeling less like being alone and ready to be more social. Maybe I should throw myself a ‘coming out’ party? πŸ˜‰

  6. I wonder if an alternative, more appropriate term, would be individualist? That’s how I would think of you.

    To me, loner indicates lack of social skills or interest in social things. And you don’t seem to have that. You are very much an individual though. I knew someone with a Pluto in 1st and they are also an individualist, not a loner.

  7. Hi Elsa, strangely planets in the 11th house of friends and groups can indicate someone who is a ‘loner’. My 12th Cancer Sun does need time alone but more than that I need to ‘submerge’ myself by close contact with others, so maybe someone with an 11th emphasis needs the reverse! (I also have Pluto in the 1st)

  8. pluto in the 1st house Libra – don’t necessarily want to be a loner but I am by myself a lot of the, esp with Saturn in my natal first and transiting my 1st.

  9. 12th house Sun square Saturn and Moon opposite Saturn. I have always been a loner with just a couple good friends. I’m too serious. I need to remind myself to lighten up. To this end I seem to collect friends that bring out the social in me. As a branch off from my previous relationship I have started doing some acting and singing – something my ex encouraged me to do that makes my formerly shy persona cringe, but I really enjoy. Saturn will pass over my descendent soon and I expect this will bring me even further out of my shell.

  10. I’m definitely a loner at times,and have always been. I retreat to recover and recharge. 1st House Saturn may be why.

    Can’t say I see Elsa as a loner at all, self-sufficient yes, but not the same thing. How exposed and social is this website! Maybe some people see strong boundaries and privacy as being antisocial and aloof. If you google my name on the Internet you won’t find me, and I’m hoping I can keep it that way. Touch wood.

  11. I’m saturn opp moon too, and have close friends who are good at and like holding the stage. They tell me they enjoy having someone like me in their lives so they can withdraw from the limelight and be themselves and more vulnerable at times, rather than always having to be entertaining others and keeping them happy. And they seem proud to support my more social side too.

  12. Yeah, I am a loner in the sense I need a lot of time to myself. I prefer being alone and independent. But when I connect with people I am flexible – I can be deep or just fun and frivolous.

    Saturn in Scorpio in the 12th
    Pluto in Libra in the 11th
    Scorpio rising

  13. My 12th house Saturn sextiles my 4th house Capricorn Sun, Jupiter, Mercury. Mars also occupies my 4th house. I love my company, I find myself most entertaining. I am also a performer. :-)! There is usually surprise when I say I am a loner. I’ve had my second Saturn return, so being a loner is a work of art at this point in time.

  14. I have saturn oppose moon. I feel myself as a loner, but my Libra mercury makes me to talk talk and talk to people, but yea, I don’t have any close friends. I’m a loner.

  15. I have a lot of Libra but all in the 8th house, so definitely a loner sometimes. I get bored of superficial interaction and so easily drained. I also have a pisces sun and venus in the 12th, so being very open to energies and atmospheres means I need time to recharge.

  16. Pluto in my 1H, I’m seen as a loner. I like to be in peace. My grand trine water is a-okay with being alone, I actually prefer it most times. My Saturn Aquarius in the 4H makes me stand out as an individual and free spirit. I have that extra amount of quirk lol.

  17. I think I am, but then I’m not. Chart ruler in 11th house.

    I guess I agree with some of the above in that you can be very social, but be wholly your own self (an individual), and as such have tendencies of straying away from the pack, recharging or reflecting on your own. That’s often me.

  18. Also Korellyn, the 11th house sun/chiron in gemini alone wouldn’t point to loner tendencies methinks? However, I get what you’re saying about the 12th house…

  19. Definitely. But I’ve taken it to the extreme in recent years and I really need to get out more. It’s my goal in my life right now…to start being more of a “joiner”.

  20. I would say yes. I am definitely a loner. I get out and about and when in a crowd or party I can mingle with the best of em,but I truly need a lot of alone time to regenerate. As long as I have books, music and my little family around me all safe I am happiest and honestly do not “need” a lot of people around me. I could safely live in a cabin in the woods away from society and be in bliss. πŸ™‚

  21. Elsa, anyone who begins and continues a forum and blog like this is not a loner. Trust yourself.

    I pretty much am a loner. My chart, Leo, 11th house, stellium in Leo and in Virgo. Pluto is in the 11th house. Libra rising. I have to take in information, process it, and then integrate into what I already know, never want to take things at face value. I avoid crowds, and when I am in one, feel very unnoticed and lost. Even when I have family and friends over to our house, acting as a hostess, I may hide out for a while to recharge.

  22. I’m totally a loner, I mean I could go for days submerged by myself and still feel like it wasn’t enough time by myself. I don’t have pluto in my first, but tones of pluto aspects (to all my personal planets) and a 12th house sun.

  23. Saturn conjunct my cancer ASC and my moon, and a 5 planets stelium in my 4th house..i am definetly a loner, many i feel alone ….for example when i am with friends somewhere having fun, i have moments when i need to be alone to recharge…sometimes i think i was a monk in a previuse life πŸ™‚

  24. I often think self sufficiency and being a capable person is mistaken as being a loner. If you are capable, people think you don’t need help and are aloof. Never quite got that one right I sometimes need help but usually work it out before any offers lol
    Rather a loner than a codependent loser πŸ˜‰

  25. Aha I have Pluto transiting the first – forever…I vant to be alone…yet not.

    Strong opinionated individuals often end up as “loners” whether they are alone are not, they do not follow a can be lonely.

    If you choose to support or speak out where others do not then you can be alone…think of the whistle blower who everyone eggs on to reveal when they turn around everyone has ducked for cover.

    I do not like being a loner but I am and to flock is boredom to me, I love people, am sociable but end of the day….

  26. I don’t think I have same signatures as other posters, but I think Uranus in my chart (Sco, 10th house) may be one reason as it trines to my Sun, Moon, Jupiter in Cancer and I am always described as independent (one person’s independance is another person’s loner?).
    We crabs love to hibernate as it is, but I believe the Uranus aspects in my chart lifts the cancerian tendency to be needy and I’m very happy in my own company.

  27. Like many here I am a 12th house Sun. Yes I am a liner…but not always by choice. I do prefer intense (and it can be intensely joyful) or deep one on one. I always feel like the odd one out in groups. Like I fade into the background. But then something always happens where I am thrust into being the center of attention. My Virgo/Moon Pluto no likely!…lol

  28. Pluto in the first natally and in my solar return too. I am a loner and I’m proud of it. I like my time where I get to surf the net and talk to a whole group of people about things that interest me as well as talk to my friends even at a distance. Aquarius mars in the 5th too wouldn’t have it any other way either, I need time to tinker.

  29. It’s funny you would bring this up, Elsa. I came across my North Node/South Node info and boy is it me to a T. Leo south Aquarius north. It’s not that I’m stuck-up it’s just that my whole life there was always something to do provided by other people. Now. My life is me. Noone calls to do stuff, to go along with whatever happens to be happening and I find I actually must make the effort to connect. I LOVE my alone time, I feel I’m a bit weird and that’s cool. But when I get to connect…I find out I’m actually not that weird and people respond to me. Maybe I’m just selfish. Maybe I don’t want any responsibility. blah, blah, blah…

  30. The kids call me the unibomber and say I’m a hermit. 12th house sun, South node Pisces. Alone feels safe and comfortable.

    But every now and then Uranus in Leo wants to be showoff. I’ll dress to the nines to go to a holiday party or…

  31. I have become completely isolated as Pluto is transiting my first house. I didn’t even know it was POSSIBLE to be this isolated! And seeing as it will be there for quite awhile, I don’t know what it bodes for me.

  32. Pluto in 1st here πŸ™‚ Also, every planet in my chart apart from Moon are below horizon.

    With Libra ASC I can be very charming and nice and social, but nevertheless a loner. Actually I’ve heard myself being described as rather scary and weird. With a Sun/Uranus conjunction I obviously take that as a compliment πŸ˜€ Even as a child I was rather alone than in a group. I always travel alone, I live alone, my hobbies are such that don’t involve other people etc. Of course I have a lot of friends, and in my own group I’m funnily enough considered as an extrovert and definitely very individualistic, smart and funny.

    People who don’t know me often have a very different view of me though. Some have even thought I’m somehow retarded compared to my sister (she has Leo Sun conj. ASC). So not true haha πŸ˜€

  33. I don’t think you’re a loner Elsa. Now Pluto is going through your 12th house, but you have your own way of being sociable.

    When I was a teenager, I was a loner, but my 7th house planets have been activated since 2004, and I can’t imagine myself being a loner. In fact, I’m great when it comes to working in teams. Yes, reconciling my individuality while dealing with other people can be a challenge, but I’m definitely not a loner. I like being around people, if they’re good company.

  34. I have Pluto in the 12th…..two degrees from the Ascendant, I guess that could be considered the 1st house. I have gotten this feedback from time to time…..about being a loner.

  35. I was talking with a longtime frend and professional mentor about Meyers-Briggs. I had never taken it but posited that I was an extrovert as I’m quite friendly, social vivacious. His response was “you dont fool me. You are an introvert who by necessity has learned to be an extrovert.”.

    That shocked me but he was right. All my life I’ve been painfully shy. As a kid, I stood in the shadows while everyone else had fun and pursued what they wanted while I looked on longingly. In my career, I was forced to come out of my shell. And I did. If I tell people I’m shy, they don’t believe me because my face to the world is quote outgoing (libra rising). But in reality, while I’m fine with good friends, I exhaust quickly in social settings where I don’t know someone well and want to retreat. I’m a Virgo sun in the 12th house.

    I’ve always seen my introversion as a negative to be overcome. But with Saturn transiting my first house in Scorpio, I’m starting to accept my true nature and want to stop being someone I’m not.

  36. Jeannie, I’ve had a somewhat similar experience to you. Being painfully shy as a kid, which was compounded by other emotional problems and a toxic environment. But, I knew there was a more gregarious character buried inside, lol. I was also up against “negative” attitudes towards introversion, I think its a part of western culture(imo). But, as soon as I became more social, I discovered I couldn’t disregard my loner nature. I also developed a great respect for introversion, I find it to be an invaluable trait. My conflicting social natures confuse the piss out of people, lol.

    I think neptune and saturn are also major players in loner type personalities. Annnd, Ive got mucho nuptune, saturn, pluto, and uranus… so, Im basically an alien. πŸ˜€ In many regards, I love that about myself, lol.

    Also, I dont think loners are people who are necessarily incapable of being social, but people who dont value or conform to “the norm”. Instead, they march to the beat of their own drum, or, are independent thinkers <– I think these traits inevitably lead to being an "outsider".

  37. Generally considered a loner even though the same people who describe me as such know how involved and visible I am all the time. Strange, but I think it emanates from the lone Pluto on one side of my chart, or my Pisces/12th house-ness.

    People sense I walk or want to be alone at peace deep down, so they call ‘loner’.

    Right now with Pluto in my 8th house, it’s probably intensifying that impression to people who don’t know me.

  38. For me I can be a loner. Being very very introverted. Kind of like the dog that wants to be in a room with people, happy in the corner.

    I agree with the individual definition better. I am not a good mixer, networker or party person. But I do appreciate small groups of really good people.

  39. I noticed lots of Saturn and Pluto mentioned.

    In my Scorpio 8th house chart my Taurus Saturn rx is in my 2nd equal or 4th pladicus house and my Virgo Pluto in my 8th house.

  40. Yes, very much so to my detriment. I’ve Saturn and Pluto in my first house. Only time i was rather sociable was when Saturn transited my MC and the upper side of my chart, until it returned to my first house nearly three years ago. Pluto in the first house gives a powerful disposition that many find threatening somewhat. It seems unfair when deep inside you just want to relate (first house Libra).

  41. Hmm, Leo Ascendant conjunct Moon is pretty sociable, but then I have Pluto conjoined Venus in Virgo later in the 1st. Pretty ambivalent! I have to be in the mood to socialize. My Leo Moon likes to be fed some attention. But I do need lots of alone time to recharge.

  42. Yup. Loner in the sense of a druid-type with cascades of books. We lost power for a week here in NJ/NY area from Hurricane Sandy; I was the only one among my co-workers and family who did not get antsy or driven insane by the radio-silence. Had candles and utilized daylight. Just read and pondered. Yet can be comfortable in a group, but can only do so for about 2 hours, then the social sensory-overload kicks in. Don’t see a particular marker in my natal (at least to my novice eyes) of this life-long signature. Glad to see there are others.

  43. Am reading back to everyone’s comments more thoroughly now and I see much 12th house weight! Have Uranus and Pluto, both retrograde, in the 12th at my birth. Not conjunct. Interesting, everyone’s 12th being the possible culprit. How about an exact opposition (Uranus asc/Venus desc) on the asc/desc? I always thought that this might be my reason why I cannot “reconcile” casual company and close company and why I default to my girlcave happily. Tell ya, astrology has quite a bit of footing to me when you think about the houses, planets and signs’ traits coming together.

  44. @kiriecat

    “12th house Sun square Saturn and Moon opposite Saturn. I have always been a loner with just a couple good friends. I’m too serious. I need to remind myself to lighten up. ”

    LOL, ditto re: only a few good friends and double LOL re: the “serious” thing! I am either goofy or intense, but mostly intense and remind myself to chill in group convos also. Funny stuff! (k, that’s enough from me, off to work). Thanks all.

  45. I would say so, for the most part. I like to remain busy and alone. I do like company and stimulating conversation, but I never seek out social situations.

  46. saturn/mercury/uranus t square. groups can overwhelm me with too much chatter/information/noise and i need my time to clear my head and reground. (mercury is taurus.)

    but i do need people. took me awhile to figure out who, though.

  47. I’m a pluto in the first house, virgo stellium, chart ruler in the 12th house in virgo. Yes, I definitely feel like a loner. Although I also desperate crave closeness (moon in 8th house) and being around people (sun 11th house). It seems like no matter how hard I try to socialize, I just carry this loner frequency and people can sense it. I just don’t belong anywhere.

  48. My natal sun isn’t in the 12th house, but I’ve been a loner all my life. This hasn’t always been by choice either. I’m also a Virgo Monkey with a Scorpio Ascendant and Moon in Aquarius. I have Neptune in the first house and Pluto in the 11th too. I’ve always preferred the company of my own imagination and rarely really “click” with others. The friendships I do have are usually intense, incredibly fun, and with other “odd birds.” Even they consider me a hermit sometimes.

  49. @Umbriel: ”The friendships I do have are usually intense, incredibly fun, and with other β€œodd birds.” I completely relate to that πŸ™‚ and I wouldn’t have it any other way either.

  50. Hi Elsa, was searching for answer to a question that might have included your topic here. Do I consider myself a “loner”? Not by choice, no. The reason I turned up here is that I wanted to find out why astrology that is uncannily accurate for the peoplegroups around me, would turned off the spotlight – so to speak – and missed any accuracy when it came to me personally. It was as if astrology was treating me as an outcast/loner. There’s nothing obvious in my natal chart that would suggest it, at least not as I understand it. Perhaps the lack of planets in certain family/society/group houses? Who knows – opinions vary. When answers don’t come easily, people tend toward blaming the whole system before examining the problem. As you know there are a million pages online “debunking” astrology”, but none seem prepared to see it anywhere near as faithfully to the scientific process they claim represents the one path to truth, or will even entertain the idea of “constellating” or “reflecting/mirroring” of the inner/outer worlds of the human/natural environment. If only there was a modern-day Carl Jung, without the man’s obvious bias, to sort it all out as far as humanly possible – a Super Jung, if you like, or similar. Anyway, good luck with your career, I sometimes run into your work on youtube or amazon and you seem happy to be alive – which is always a good sign.

  51. I am a loner, have always needed a lot of time by myself to feel even half sane. Moon in Scorpio opposing Saturn, Venus in Capricorn in the 12th. I do crave companionship but in measured doses and on my terms.

  52. Happy loner, mostly. Sometimes not. Pluto and Mercury linked together in the 1st house. Mars and Sun linked together in the 12th house.

  53. Pluto conj ascendant- I feel independent, not a loner. At any time I could be swarming with people, but I need my space to breathe.

  54. I’m a 3rd house Sag sun but switch between being quite sociable to wanting to be alone. When I must recharge, there is no other option. I’m a Virgo Rising with Pisces moon in the 7th house. Pluto sits on the cusp of my 11th and 12th house. People come to me for help, advice, fun and I offer it up but when I need to be alone, I hide.

  55. Loner vibe here – natal Saturn conjunct moon conjunct vesta in Aries 12th house, as well as north node in Aries. Uranus elements too perhaps? Uranus conjunct Jupiter square sun as well as Aquarius MC tend to place me on the fringe.

  56. I have sun conjunct Pluto in the 12th house.
    Also, I have mercury, Venus, and Saturn in the 1st house.
    With many of these planets in Scorpio, I have definitely struggled with a strong desire to speak out and show my power alongside a need to retreat or literally β€œhide”. I might be interpreting this wrong, but it feels like people expect me to put myself out there because of my ascendant conjunct merc/venus, but my 12th house sun/Pluto has me retreating on a regular basis. Yes, this feels lonely. And the scorp stellium is opposite my moon ?

  57. Years ago I had my birth profile done. It says I like to keep to myself and tend to avoid too much socializing and that others may prefer to keep some distance too (Sag. Moon 1st house square Pisces Venus 3rd house). (Pisces Mercury 3rd house square Scorpio Neptune 1st house) I may prefer to avoid crowds and all large gatherings. You may not need relationships other than home and at work. I also have my Sun in Pisces 3rd house and a Scorpio Ascendant 1st house, I need lots of time to recharge my batteries

  58. Do other Pluto aspects factor as well? My 4th H Pluto squares Asc, Sun, & Venus, all in the 12th. It also sextiles Neptune & opposes Juno. I remember my mother & step-dad as far back as high school calling me “ice queen” and laughing. I’m old enough now to look back and see how few enduring friendships I’ve managed, and how relatively unimportant that is to me most of the time. I like people and have good “people skills”. It’s an investment to nurture relationships though, and I guess I can’t be bothered. Sounds harsh. Sometimes, in conversation, I notice the thought in my head, “Lord help me”, because I have already detached and need a way out. Loner? Maybe. Maybe emotionally self-sufficient…or is that a loner?

  59. I would say that most of us who call ourselves loners would be considered “introverts” today. Has anyone ever read Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”? It’s a must read if you have the personality type that likes to spend a lot of time alone.

    As far as my natal chart, I have Pluto in Virgo in the 1st at 28Β°. Ascendant in Virgo 11Β°, Sun 1Β°, Mercury 3Β° and Venus 0Β° all in Virgo too. Depending on what house system, my Sun, Mercury and Venus are either in the 12th or 1st. I like to say I’m a Virgo sometimes operating like a Pisces. I definitely would call myself an introvert who loves spending a great deal of time alone, but I’m not anti-social.

    Susan explains in her book that introverts recharge their energy by spending time alone. Extroverts recharge by being constantly in the company of people and being on the go. Introverts are not anti-social, but have fewer, more meaningful friendships. There’s more, so read her book if you’ve felt misunderstood your entire life.

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