Are You A Loner?

Recently someone characterized me as a loner. The remark was not judgmental.  This was the conclusion the gal came to when considering what makes me tick.

I don’t feel like a loner. I feel like an individual. I feel like a happy, social, individual for that matter. But my perspective may be skewed.

As for an astrological signature, people with Pluto conjunct the ascendant are seen as loners in the world.  You could extend this to Pluto in the first house. Perhaps Pluto transiting the first house would manifest this condition as well.

Are you a loner? How do you see this in your chart?

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Are You A Loner? — 83 Comments

  1. I have Pluto in the 12th…..two degrees from the Ascendant, I guess that could be considered the 1st house. I have gotten this feedback from time to time…..about being a loner.

  2. I was talking with a longtime frend and professional mentor about Meyers-Briggs. I had never taken it but posited that I was an extrovert as I’m quite friendly, social vivacious. His response was “you dont fool me. You are an introvert who by necessity has learned to be an extrovert.”.

    That shocked me but he was right. All my life I’ve been painfully shy. As a kid, I stood in the shadows while everyone else had fun and pursued what they wanted while I looked on longingly. In my career, I was forced to come out of my shell. And I did. If I tell people I’m shy, they don’t believe me because my face to the world is quote outgoing (libra rising). But in reality, while I’m fine with good friends, I exhaust quickly in social settings where I don’t know someone well and want to retreat. I’m a Virgo sun in the 12th house.

    I’ve always seen my introversion as a negative to be overcome. But with Saturn transiting my first house in Scorpio, I’m starting to accept my true nature and want to stop being someone I’m not.

  3. Jeannie, I’ve had a somewhat similar experience to you. Being painfully shy as a kid, which was compounded by other emotional problems and a toxic environment. But, I knew there was a more gregarious character buried inside, lol. I was also up against “negative” attitudes towards introversion, I think its a part of western culture(imo). But, as soon as I became more social, I discovered I couldn’t disregard my loner nature. I also developed a great respect for introversion, I find it to be an invaluable trait. My conflicting social natures confuse the piss out of people, lol.

    I think neptune and saturn are also major players in loner type personalities. Annnd, Ive got mucho nuptune, saturn, pluto, and uranus… so, Im basically an alien. 😀 In many regards, I love that about myself, lol.

    Also, I dont think loners are people who are necessarily incapable of being social, but people who dont value or conform to “the norm”. Instead, they march to the beat of their own drum, or, are independent thinkers <– I think these traits inevitably lead to being an "outsider".

  4. Generally considered a loner even though the same people who describe me as such know how involved and visible I am all the time. Strange, but I think it emanates from the lone Pluto on one side of my chart, or my Pisces/12th house-ness.

    People sense I walk or want to be alone at peace deep down, so they call ‘loner’.

    Right now with Pluto in my 8th house, it’s probably intensifying that impression to people who don’t know me.

  5. For me I can be a loner. Being very very introverted. Kind of like the dog that wants to be in a room with people, happy in the corner.

    I agree with the individual definition better. I am not a good mixer, networker or party person. But I do appreciate small groups of really good people.

  6. I noticed lots of Saturn and Pluto mentioned.

    In my Scorpio 8th house chart my Taurus Saturn rx is in my 2nd equal or 4th pladicus house and my Virgo Pluto in my 8th house.

  7. Yes, very much so to my detriment. I’ve Saturn and Pluto in my first house. Only time i was rather sociable was when Saturn transited my MC and the upper side of my chart, until it returned to my first house nearly three years ago. Pluto in the first house gives a powerful disposition that many find threatening somewhat. It seems unfair when deep inside you just want to relate (first house Libra).

  8. Hmm, Leo Ascendant conjunct Moon is pretty sociable, but then I have Pluto conjoined Venus in Virgo later in the 1st. Pretty ambivalent! I have to be in the mood to socialize. My Leo Moon likes to be fed some attention. But I do need lots of alone time to recharge.

  9. Yup. Loner in the sense of a druid-type with cascades of books. We lost power for a week here in NJ/NY area from Hurricane Sandy; I was the only one among my co-workers and family who did not get antsy or driven insane by the radio-silence. Had candles and utilized daylight. Just read and pondered. Yet can be comfortable in a group, but can only do so for about 2 hours, then the social sensory-overload kicks in. Don’t see a particular marker in my natal (at least to my novice eyes) of this life-long signature. Glad to see there are others.

  10. Am reading back to everyone’s comments more thoroughly now and I see much 12th house weight! Have Uranus and Pluto, both retrograde, in the 12th at my birth. Not conjunct. Interesting, everyone’s 12th being the possible culprit. How about an exact opposition (Uranus asc/Venus desc) on the asc/desc? I always thought that this might be my reason why I cannot “reconcile” casual company and close company and why I default to my girlcave happily. Tell ya, astrology has quite a bit of footing to me when you think about the houses, planets and signs’ traits coming together.

  11. @kiriecat

    “12th house Sun square Saturn and Moon opposite Saturn. I have always been a loner with just a couple good friends. I’m too serious. I need to remind myself to lighten up. ”

    LOL, ditto re: only a few good friends and double LOL re: the “serious” thing! I am either goofy or intense, but mostly intense and remind myself to chill in group convos also. Funny stuff! (k, that’s enough from me, off to work). Thanks all.

  12. I would say so, for the most part. I like to remain busy and alone. I do like company and stimulating conversation, but I never seek out social situations.

  13. saturn/mercury/uranus t square. groups can overwhelm me with too much chatter/information/noise and i need my time to clear my head and reground. (mercury is taurus.)

    but i do need people. took me awhile to figure out who, though.

  14. I’m a pluto in the first house, virgo stellium, chart ruler in the 12th house in virgo. Yes, I definitely feel like a loner. Although I also desperate crave closeness (moon in 8th house) and being around people (sun 11th house). It seems like no matter how hard I try to socialize, I just carry this loner frequency and people can sense it. I just don’t belong anywhere.

  15. My natal sun isn’t in the 12th house, but I’ve been a loner all my life. This hasn’t always been by choice either. I’m also a Virgo Monkey with a Scorpio Ascendant and Moon in Aquarius. I have Neptune in the first house and Pluto in the 11th too. I’ve always preferred the company of my own imagination and rarely really “click” with others. The friendships I do have are usually intense, incredibly fun, and with other “odd birds.” Even they consider me a hermit sometimes.

  16. @Umbriel: ”The friendships I do have are usually intense, incredibly fun, and with other “odd birds.” I completely relate to that 🙂 and I wouldn’t have it any other way either.

  17. Hi Elsa, was searching for answer to a question that might have included your topic here. Do I consider myself a “loner”? Not by choice, no. The reason I turned up here is that I wanted to find out why astrology that is uncannily accurate for the peoplegroups around me, would turned off the spotlight – so to speak – and missed any accuracy when it came to me personally. It was as if astrology was treating me as an outcast/loner. There’s nothing obvious in my natal chart that would suggest it, at least not as I understand it. Perhaps the lack of planets in certain family/society/group houses? Who knows – opinions vary. When answers don’t come easily, people tend toward blaming the whole system before examining the problem. As you know there are a million pages online “debunking” astrology”, but none seem prepared to see it anywhere near as faithfully to the scientific process they claim represents the one path to truth, or will even entertain the idea of “constellating” or “reflecting/mirroring” of the inner/outer worlds of the human/natural environment. If only there was a modern-day Carl Jung, without the man’s obvious bias, to sort it all out as far as humanly possible – a Super Jung, if you like, or similar. Anyway, good luck with your career, I sometimes run into your work on youtube or amazon and you seem happy to be alive – which is always a good sign.

  18. I am a loner, have always needed a lot of time by myself to feel even half sane. Moon in Scorpio opposing Saturn, Venus in Capricorn in the 12th. I do crave companionship but in measured doses and on my terms.

  19. Happy loner, mostly. Sometimes not. Pluto and Mercury linked together in the 1st house. Mars and Sun linked together in the 12th house.

  20. Pluto conj ascendant- I feel independent, not a loner. At any time I could be swarming with people, but I need my space to breathe.

  21. I’m a 3rd house Sag sun but switch between being quite sociable to wanting to be alone. When I must recharge, there is no other option. I’m a Virgo Rising with Pisces moon in the 7th house. Pluto sits on the cusp of my 11th and 12th house. People come to me for help, advice, fun and I offer it up but when I need to be alone, I hide.

  22. Loner vibe here – natal Saturn conjunct moon conjunct vesta in Aries 12th house, as well as north node in Aries. Uranus elements too perhaps? Uranus conjunct Jupiter square sun as well as Aquarius MC tend to place me on the fringe.

  23. I have sun conjunct Pluto in the 12th house.
    Also, I have mercury, Venus, and Saturn in the 1st house.
    With many of these planets in Scorpio, I have definitely struggled with a strong desire to speak out and show my power alongside a need to retreat or literally “hide”. I might be interpreting this wrong, but it feels like people expect me to put myself out there because of my ascendant conjunct merc/venus, but my 12th house sun/Pluto has me retreating on a regular basis. Yes, this feels lonely. And the scorp stellium is opposite my moon ?

  24. Years ago I had my birth profile done. It says I like to keep to myself and tend to avoid too much socializing and that others may prefer to keep some distance too (Sag. Moon 1st house square Pisces Venus 3rd house). (Pisces Mercury 3rd house square Scorpio Neptune 1st house) I may prefer to avoid crowds and all large gatherings. You may not need relationships other than home and at work. I also have my Sun in Pisces 3rd house and a Scorpio Ascendant 1st house, I need lots of time to recharge my batteries

  25. Do other Pluto aspects factor as well? My 4th H Pluto squares Asc, Sun, & Venus, all in the 12th. It also sextiles Neptune & opposes Juno. I remember my mother & step-dad as far back as high school calling me “ice queen” and laughing. I’m old enough now to look back and see how few enduring friendships I’ve managed, and how relatively unimportant that is to me most of the time. I like people and have good “people skills”. It’s an investment to nurture relationships though, and I guess I can’t be bothered. Sounds harsh. Sometimes, in conversation, I notice the thought in my head, “Lord help me”, because I have already detached and need a way out. Loner? Maybe. Maybe emotionally self-sufficient…or is that a loner?

  26. I would say that most of us who call ourselves loners would be considered “introverts” today. Has anyone ever read Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”? It’s a must read if you have the personality type that likes to spend a lot of time alone.

    As far as my natal chart, I have Pluto in Virgo in the 1st at 28°. Ascendant in Virgo 11°, Sun 1°, Mercury 3° and Venus 0° all in Virgo too. Depending on what house system, my Sun, Mercury and Venus are either in the 12th or 1st. I like to say I’m a Virgo sometimes operating like a Pisces. I definitely would call myself an introvert who loves spending a great deal of time alone, but I’m not anti-social.

    Susan explains in her book that introverts recharge their energy by spending time alone. Extroverts recharge by being constantly in the company of people and being on the go. Introverts are not anti-social, but have fewer, more meaningful friendships. There’s more, so read her book if you’ve felt misunderstood your entire life.

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