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Sick of being flexible.
I don't think it's serving me anymore.
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Libra Noir
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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 3:25 pm
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I've just kind of had it with working with people. I don't think it goes much deeper. I'm just tired of adjusting for others benefit and compromising and getting taken advantage of. This is new for me. I've never seen myself as a victim but I think it's time to admit to myself that most people in my life do not appreciate me or my energy. I don't need appreciation but I'm just kind of looking where all that graciousness has gotten me. It's only served others and that's fine but I think it's time to be a little selfish for once. That's all lol:) it's a big deal for me. 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 3:33 pm
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This reminded me Elsa's blog post/newsletter about tomorrow's Venus/Jupiter opposition. Maybe this is triggering something in you?

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 4:58 pm
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Libra Noir said
I've just kind of had it with working with people. I don't think it goes much deeper. I'm just tired of adjusting for others benefit and compromising and getting taken advantage of. This is new for me. I've never seen myself as a victim but I think it's time to admit to myself that most people in my life do not appreciate me or my energy. I don't need appreciation but I'm just kind of looking where all that graciousness has gotten me. It's only served others and that's fine but I think it's time to be a little selfish for once. That's all lol:) it's a big deal for me.   

Seems like you're coming to a point a lot of people come to after years, maybe even decades, of helping, others. You help someone for 20 years and then they resent you for it? Bye, bye, girl!

No one is meant to save someone.....completely! You're supposed to lead the horse to water, but then the horse has to want to drink.

I believe a lot of people like attention more than help. They got enough attention from you and now they want someone else to give them attention. Two different things. Sometimes people even become envious of your kindness and helpfulness. They wish they were as kind and/or helpful as you.

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 5:27 pm
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Ann said
This reminded me Elsa's blog post/newsletter about tomorrow's Venus/Jupiter opposition. Maybe this is triggering something in you?  

 I think it's been a long time coming but yes this transit has affected me for sure. 

Id also like to clarify that Im not opposed to compromising with someone who respects me. But I'm drawing the line at people who mistake my kindness for weakness and assume that I will do anything. 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 5:31 pm
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Mom told me recently she came to this conclusion about our extended family (most of them). 

For years, she packed up the family to go visit the relatives, even after we moved across the country. Then one day, she realized SHE was making all the effort. So she stopped the trips.....and no one noticed or reached out to us. Oh well. 👋  Byeeeee.

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 5:33 pm
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anonymoushermit said

Seems like you're coming to a point a lot of people come to after years, maybe even decades, of helping, others. You help someone for 20 years and then they resent you for it? Bye, bye, girl!

No one is meant to save someone.....completely! You're supposed to lead the horse to water, but then the horse has to want to drink.

I believe a lot of people like attention more than help. They got enough attention from you and now they want someone else to give them attention. Two different things. Sometimes people even become envious of your kindness and helpfulness. They wish they were as kind and/or helpful as you.  

see I don't care what people do with my help. Take it or not. But don't just think you can keep coming back and dipping in this well and just assume that it's there for the taking. Its just kind of funny I guess that people think I'm so nice that they can just take my energy. No. I'm not that nice. I'm kind, but I am not nice. 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 5:56 pm
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Libra noir, isn't it unbelievable how once you decide you're not going to exhaust yourself supporting people who don't appreciate it, they're angrier than they would have been had you given nothing to them to begin with?

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 6:07 pm
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Synchronicity moment, Libra Noir.  Someone said almost the same thing to me (not about me) earlier today, "Flexibility is fine and all, but there are limits.  Time to put efforts toward my own happiness, and my own goals.  Fed up with people who call only when they need something from me."librasmily_gif

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 6:07 pm
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For me there was a catalyst that forever changed my view of being the compromiser and putting other's interests over my own. It was after I lost my job a few years ago. I had a run of terrible luck, couldn't find a job and had nothing but problems. My husband was there for me and supported me, but most of my friends and family couldn't care less that I needed their support. I'm not talking financially, just emotionally.

That was when I changed my entire attitude about working with people, compromising and being taken advantage of. I still help the people that showed they really cared when I needed help, but the other ones, no.

I think the astrology of this is that I have Libra rising with Mars conjunct Neptune in the 1st house. When t. Uranus in Aries was opposed to my Ascendant and then Mars/Neptune, I redefined my relationships with others. It wasn't pleasant and is still going on, but it has freed me from being a person that can be used.

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 6:21 pm
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Its just kind of funny I guess that people think I'm so nice that they can just take my energy.

This is what I was thinking - boundaries, but energetic ones. Don't let 'em rob ya!

But more seriously, do you do any grounding/energy-boundary work? I am trying to (and needing to) do more and more of that these days.

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 6:50 pm
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I had a similar realization when Saturn was in Virgo (4th house) and I was sick and at home a lot. The thing is we have a certain amount of energy to spend each day and it's important just like with money that we use our discernment as to how we spend it. Is this a plus for our life or a minus? 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 8:36 pm
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This has been me for the last 2 and a half years. It is my main filter because I've been sort of in exile from friends and family and have had the distance to see how things work. When I think of what I've done for others and what they have done for me when life happened and I then was in their position- very eye-opening. And with distance so less day to day contact, I see how they see me, and it is as a resource, for a benefit or bonus. I like to smooth things over, but now that I'm "emboldened" by this new insight, I am absolutely shocked at some of the stuff I excused and the relationships I continued when I shouldn't have. I wouldn't now. Moving back to my home area, there are people who I won't make any effort to rekindle the relationship. Calls, dinners, gifts, celebrating them- NOPE. I rarely get it back. And I'm not here to be used. So- bye!! 

I can see a lot of us are in the same boat. 🙂 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 10:26 pm
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Thanks guys:) I'm obviously going through something related to my beliefs about responsibility to others. 

I can't talk too much about it but I've recently started a new career. Im dealing with men exclusively as a massage therapist  (you might be able to connect the dots). I worked with women for many years before and it was so easy to work out appointment times, areas that needed attention, etc.  I rarely felt like I was being taken advantage of. There was so much more of a communication flow. (I have moon conjunct mercury). While I love the work I'm doing I'm having a really hard time dealing with men on a boundary level.

It just seems like they will push and push. I've noticed it especially with men of the Pluto in Leo generation and the Pluto in Scorpio generation. 

I figure I'm kind of doing a trial by fire. Weeding through the creeps. I've found the Pluto in libra men the easiest to deal with. They're bright, organized and respectful. And I don't need to be a disciplinarian like I do with Leo generation. And their hygiene is not great in general.  Or deal with the stigma and stereotypes that the Scorpio generation has about what I do. They also seem to be incredibly paranoid about things and are suspicious of me which is annoying. They just don't seem to get the sacred nature of what I do. 

In general I'm learning that my flexibility that was reciprocated with women is not necessarily reciprocated or even recognized from men. One thing I have learned is that I can be very blunt with men and they can handle it so that's cool. 

I'm going to push through this and I know I'm going to learn and grow from it. I have had some really exalting experiences that I'm using as a guide for what I want this thing to be. 

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Thursday, May 18, 2017 - 10:37 pm
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capDB said
Its just kind of funny I guess that people think I'm so nice that they can just take my energy.

This is what I was thinking - boundaries, but energetic ones. Don't let 'em rob ya!

But more seriously, do you do any grounding/energy-boundary work? I am trying to (and needing to) do more and more of that these days.  

I thought I was doing enough grounding work but obviously not. What I'm going through is truly challenging on that level. I know I'll figure out a good balance. I think having real friendships is going to help me. I'm just giving and giving at work and at home. I've made a decision recently to have more fun. I've been hanging out with a totally undemanding libra guy lately. He's so cool:) I don't feel an ounce of pressure from him which is so refreshing.

Such a nice balance to the neediness from the other males in my life. (My son is the most needy, obviously. I'm even learning to put up boundaries with him. He can be incredibly demanding. It's a dynamic I created but I've noticed as I work with my own thoughts, I'm being released from the bondage of having to fulfill his every need all the time). That's really what it comes down to. Because I'm responding to my own judgements and perceptions about what's going on. It's not easy! I was just telling a friend the other day that it's like untangling a messy ball of yarn. Tedious. 

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Friday, May 19, 2017 - 1:11 am
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LN - you're on the right track with all this.

Suggest having a look at your 7th and particularly your 8th house of giving-receiving to see how their rulers and contents and any aspects being made might have been leading you astray previously!

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