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Not helping someone = Unconscious Jealousy/Envy?
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Nina Bee
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 12:30 pm
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anonymoushermit said
Do you girls, and guys, believe that some people aren't helped by other people, supported, or levered up, by other people, because many people are envious and/or jealous of them?

I'm not talking about someone who is a b*tch to everybody then blames everybody else for not having any friends, I'm talking about genuinely nice people who, when they're down, don't garner sympathy, empathy, and help. Is it because people, many people, are unconsciously envious of them?  

I would imagine not helping someone would be a trigger within the person, which is really sad. We all have choices to help or not.

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Fritzy Ritz
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 4:32 pm
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The jealous theory is interesting to me and I think there's a lot of truth in that sometimes.

Also, I think that sometimes people don't help out others because there is a perceived social class difference, and they don't want to be associated with someone "beneath" them -- unless they can make it a Grand Gesture and therefore have bragging rights as to how kind/generous they had been to the poor, unfortunate person. 

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 7:11 pm
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Nina Bee said

I would imagine not helping someone would be a trigger within the person, which is really sad. We all have choices to help or not.  

Sometimes people don't care, simply put. 

Sometimes it's they simply feel there's already a lot of people around, so someone will help that person, sooner, or later.

Sometimes it's they feel they have helped people before and have gotten spat in the face for it. Or they've helped people, but had 'the one who needed help' frame them for some misdeed, sin, or crime, or whatever.

Sometimes they want to help, but they feel that they're bothering someone and are messing with someone's business. Society teaches us, 'Mind your own f**king Goshdarn business!', so lots of people live by that philosophy, and/or belief. Who wants to have their head bitten off, see?

Another reason is that we might not have enough resources to help someone else.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 7:14 pm
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Fritzy Ritz said
The jealous theory is interesting to me and I think there's a lot of truth in that sometimes.

Also, I think that sometimes people don't help out others because there is a perceived social class difference, and they don't want to be associated with someone "beneath" them -- unless they can make it a Grand Gesture and therefore have bragging rights as to how kind/generous they had been to the poor, unfortunate person.   

Oh yeah, snobbery sometimes is involved, too. 

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 7:57 pm
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anonymoushermit said

Sometimes people don't care, simply put. 

Sometimes it's they simply feel there's already a lot of people around, so someone will help that person, sooner, or later.

Sometimes it's they feel they have helped people before and have gotten spat in the face for it. Or they've helped people, but had 'the one who needed help' frame them for some misdeed, sin, or crime, or whatever.

Sometimes they want to help, but they feel that they're bothering someone and are messing with someone's business. Society teaches us, 'Mind your own f**king Goshdarn business!', so lots of people live by that philosophy, and/or belief. Who wants to have their head bitten off, see?

Another reason is that we might not have enough resources to help someone else.  

Yup it could any or all of those things. With a lot of Leo I know I hate being told someone can't help me . basically if I ask someone for help and they don't help I cut that person off these are my Scorpio bits because the scorpion in me is not going to let the cuddly lion be hurt by anyone or thing.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 9:17 pm
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When I opened my business I thought I could do it all on my own. And, I found I needed help. Well I got no support from the people that should have been supporting me. I got resistance. And, an 11 month old grandchild dropped off .....I had to figure out how to do it and fast. With her on my hip.

I found though for every person that should have been lending support and didn't ....there would be two surprise people that I didn't expect .....that did. And, my granddaughter was so adorable that the people loved seeing her when they came in and ....they brought her little gifts and cookies and stuff....it was so sweet. They saw me doing this thing....and doing it against the odds and before I knew it I had a ton of community support. From the Mayor, from the local news paper, other local business.

It hurt when the people I did the most for didn't even lend as much as word of mouth to help me....but it wasn't long before the people I least expected to help came through. No family support....(they were sure reaping the rewards of the extra money they borrowed and never paid back though) and huge community support which I didn't expect.

That was 8 years ago this month. My building is still there. I still own it. I am working at home now and have cut my clients in half....still....NO support from the assholes and takers and tons of support from the community that keeps cheering me on to get well and go back. They just keep coming to the house...as supportive as they ever where. I thank God for them every day.

People can really surprise you. This getting older thing....I wouldn't trade it for any other age. I have learned so much over the last 18 months. (I don't hate Saturn and Pluto anymore)

I don't think jealousy was a reason.... I think you are quickly able to separate the real deal from the shit heads though when you need a leg up......laziness.....LACK OF CHARACTER is a big one.

I also agree with anonymoushermit ....

They just don't give a shit. It's really a harsh reality when you find out you've put a lifetime worth of effort into people who in the end....just don't give a shit. And like ninabee says.....ohhh  Scorpio bits.... ewwww....I have more than 'bits' I have half a birth chart so....this new reality GUTTED me....but it was necessary that I see it, and realize it. And while it hurt so bad (especially when I got sick and needed help) I could hardly breathe.... I learned such a valuable lesson.

Some people just don't have what it takes to help/support/give as freely, lovingly and unconditionally as others. They probably aren't jealous.....it just doesn't occur to them that they should reciprocate.  Some people are just so wrapped up in their own nonsense and daily drama that it doesn't occur to them that they should reach out to others.  And some, well they are about as deep as a goddamn THIMBLE!!! It's just that simple.

Will I completely cut these folks off? No. I have learned a lesson or two about that too. You can cut off your nose in spite of your face!!

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 9:53 pm
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soup said
When I opened my business I thought I could do it all on my own. And, I found I needed help. Well I got no support from the people that should have been supporting me. I got resistance. And, an 11 month old grandchild dropped off .....I had to figure out how to do it and fast. With her on my hip.

I found though for every person that should have been lending support and didn't ....there would be two surprise people that I didn't expect .....that did. And, my granddaughter was so adorable that the people loved seeing her when they came in and ....they brought her little gifts and cookies and stuff....it was so sweet. They saw me doing this thing....and doing it against the odds and before I knew it I had a ton of community support. From the Mayor, from the local news paper, other local business.

It hurt when the people I did the most for didn't even lend as much as word of mouth to help me....but it wasn't long before the people I least expected to help came through. No family support....(they were sure reaping the rewards of the extra money they borrowed and never paid back though) and huge community support which I didn't expect.

That was 8 years ago this month. My building is still there. I still own it. I am working at home now and have cut my clients in half....still....NO support from the assholes and takers and tons of support from the community that keeps cheering me on to get well and go back. They just keep coming to the house...as supportive as they ever where. I thank God for them every day.

People can really surprise you. This getting older thing....I wouldn't trade it for any other age. I have learned so much over the last 18 months. (I don't hate Saturn and Pluto anymore)

I don't think jealousy was a reason.... I think you are quickly able to separate the real deal from the shit heads though when you need a leg up......laziness.....LACK OF CHARACTER is a big one.

I also agree with anonymoushermit ....

They just don't give a shit. It's really a harsh reality when you find out you've put a lifetime worth of effort into people who in the end....just don't give a shit. And like ninabee says.....ohhh  Scorpio bits.... ewwww....I have more than 'bits' I have half a birth chart so....this new reality GUTTED me....but it was necessary that I see it, and realize it. And while it hurt so bad (especially when I got sick and needed help) I could hardly breathe.... I learned such a valuable lesson.

Some people just don't have what it takes to help/support/give as freely, lovingly and unconditionally as others. They probably aren't jealous.....it just doesn't occur to them that they should reciprocate.  Some people are just so wrapped up in their own nonsense and daily drama that it doesn't occur to them that they should reach out to others.  And some, well they are about as deep as a goddamn THIMBLE!!! It's just that simple.

Will I completely cut these folks off? No. I have learned a lesson or two about that too. You can cut off your nose in spite of your face!!  

soup said
When I opened my business I thought I could do it all on my own. And, I found I needed help. Well I got no support from the people that should have been supporting me. I got resistance. And, an 11 month old grandchild dropped off .....I had to figure out how to do it and fast. With her on my hip.

I found though for every person that should have been lending support and didn't ....there would be two surprise people that I didn't expect .....that did. And, my granddaughter was so adorable that the people loved seeing her when they came in and ....they brought her little gifts and cookies and stuff....it was so sweet. They saw me doing this thing....and doing it against the odds and before I knew it I had a ton of community support. From the Mayor, from the local news paper, other local business.

It hurt when the people I did the most for didn't even lend as much as word of mouth to help me....but it wasn't long before the people I least expected to help came through. No family support....(they were sure reaping the rewards of the extra money they borrowed and never paid back though) and huge community support which I didn't expect.

That was 8 years ago this month. My building is still there. I still own it. I am working at home now and have cut my clients in half....still....NO support from the assholes and takers and tons of support from the community that keeps cheering me on to get well and go back. They just keep coming to the house...as supportive as they ever where. I thank God for them every day.

People can really surprise you. This getting older thing....I wouldn't trade it for any other age. I have learned so much over the last 18 months. (I don't hate Saturn and Pluto anymore)

I don't think jealousy was a reason.... I think you are quickly able to separate the real deal from the shit heads though when you need a leg up......laziness.....LACK OF CHARACTER is a big one.

I also agree with anonymoushermit ....

They just don't give a shit. It's really a harsh reality when you find out you've put a lifetime worth of effort into people who in the end....just don't give a shit. And like ninabee says.....ohhh  Scorpio bits.... ewwww....I have more than 'bits' I have half a birth chart so....this new reality GUTTED me....but it was necessary that I see it, and realize it. And while it hurt so bad (especially when I got sick and needed help) I could hardly breathe.... I learned such a valuable lesson.

Some people just don't have what it takes to help/support/give as freely, lovingly and unconditionally as others. They probably aren't jealous.....it just doesn't occur to them that they should reciprocate.  Some people are just so wrapped up in their own nonsense and daily drama that it doesn't occur to them that they should reach out to others.  And some, well they are about as deep as a goddamn THIMBLE!!! It's just that simple.

Will I completely cut these folks off? No. I have learned a lesson or two about that too. You can cut off your nose in spite of your face!!  

That's good for you I don't give second chances to f me over. I am the bigger person.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - 10:35 pm
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soup said
When I opened my business I thought I could do it all on my own. And, I found I needed help. Well I got no support from the people that should have been supporting me. I got resistance. And, an 11 month old grandchild dropped off .....I had to figure out how to do it and fast. With her on my hip.

I found though for every person that should have been lending support and didn't ....there would be two surprise people that I didn't expect .....that did. And, my granddaughter was so adorable that the people loved seeing her when they came in and ....they brought her little gifts and cookies and stuff....it was so sweet. They saw me doing this thing....and doing it against the odds and before I knew it I had a ton of community support. From the Mayor, from the local news paper, other local business.

It hurt when the people I did the most for didn't even lend as much as word of mouth to help me....but it wasn't long before the people I least expected to help came through. No family support....(they were sure reaping the rewards of the extra money they borrowed and never paid back though) and huge community support which I didn't expect.

That was 8 years ago this month. My building is still there. I still own it. I am working at home now and have cut my clients in half....still....NO support from the assholes and takers and tons of support from the community that keeps cheering me on to get well and go back. They just keep coming to the house...as supportive as they ever where. I thank God for them every day.

People can really surprise you. This getting older thing....I wouldn't trade it for any other age. I have learned so much over the last 18 months. (I don't hate Saturn and Pluto anymore)

I don't think jealousy was a reason.... I think you are quickly able to separate the real deal from the shit heads though when you need a leg up......laziness.....LACK OF CHARACTER is a big one.

I also agree with anonymoushermit ....

They just don't give a shit. It's really a harsh reality when you find out you've put a lifetime worth of effort into people who in the end....just don't give a shit. And like ninabee says.....ohhh  Scorpio bits.... ewwww....I have more than 'bits' I have half a birth chart so....this new reality GUTTED me....but it was necessary that I see it, and realize it. And while it hurt so bad (especially when I got sick and needed help) I could hardly breathe.... I learned such a valuable lesson.

Some people just don't have what it takes to help/support/give as freely, lovingly and unconditionally as others. They probably aren't jealous.....it just doesn't occur to them that they should reciprocate.  Some people are just so wrapped up in their own nonsense and daily drama that it doesn't occur to them that they should reach out to others.  And some, well they are about as deep as a goddamn THIMBLE!!! It's just that simple.

Will I completely cut these folks off? No. I have learned a lesson or two about that too. You can cut off your nose in spite of your face!!  

Nice to hear another person's points of views on this!

Honestly, I'm 35 years old now, nothing shocks me anymore. I'm not sure if that's sad, or a relief. 

I also think those people were fair weathered 'friends'. 

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Friday, April 21, 2017 - 12:55 am
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Been thinking about this post a lot lately. Had this happen to me recently in a group of women I thought had my back (that was my first mistake). Turns out no one did and they were happy to stab me in it and keep walking, laughing all the way.

Group mentality kicked in and it was like junior high 2.0. But still it's somewhat shocking to be shunned by people who once praised you, people you helped to bring together in the first place.

Why do people do it? Some do it because they are jealous (the queen B who started it all), some because they are just hangers on and opportunists who don't want to be seen on the losing side (at least one person in that group) and were never genuine to begin with, and others because they are just simply too weak or disinterested in standing up  for or supporting anyone; they take the path of least resistance.

But like someone said earlier, when people walk away and show you their true colors, usually other people you didn't expect and may not even know well, step up to offer their support, even if it's just words of encouragement. Those little things do go a long way when you're feeling shut out.

All I know for certain is this: those who abandon others will be abandoned also one day. I have seen it happen so many times, especially if they were people who regularly went out of their way to not support others. I've seen karma work its mojo on unjust people more than a few times in my life now. So for those who choose to do nothing when someone needs their help - I say, just wait...your time will come.

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Friday, April 21, 2017 - 1:50 am
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bryterlayter said
Been thinking about this post a lot lately. Had this happen to me recently in a group of women I thought had my back (that was my first mistake). Turns out no one did and they were happy to stab me in it and keep walking, laughing all the way.

Group mentality kicked in and it was like junior high 2.0. But still it's somewhat shocking to be shunned by people who once praised you, people you helped to bring together in the first place.

Why do people do it? Some do it because they are jealous (the queen B who started it all), some because they are just hangers on and opportunists who don't want to be seen on the losing side (at least one person in that group) and were never genuine to begin with, and others because they are just simply too weak or disinterested in standing up  for or supporting anyone; they take the path of least resistance.

But like someone said earlier, when people walk away and show you their true colors, usually other people you didn't expect and may not even know well, step up to offer their support, even if it's just words of encouragement. Those little things do go a long way when you're feeling shut out.

All I know for certain is this: those who abandon others will be abandoned also one day. I have seen it happen so many times, especially if they were people who regularly went out of their way to not support others. I've seen karma work its mojo on unjust people more than a few times in my life now. So for those who choose to do nothing when someone needs their help - I say, just wait...your time will come.  

Indifference is still a betrayal. You're the person's 'friend' yet you just sit there and watch them burn? Yeah, you're a terrible friend, and a lazy a$$.

Great writing, brytlerlayter. I agree with a lot of what you said.

Don't let those assholes bring you down, EVER!!!

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Friday, April 21, 2017 - 9:09 am
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I've been thinking about this topic too, using a wide lens as Venus transits a long swooping pass through my sixth house.

I'm noticing that Venus' transit evokes my natal Venus, in Cancer and 9th house (among other things, "clan").  Communicating, and showing up as best I can at the time.  Yesterday, I said, "I can't" when the reason was "... in good conscience, knowing the favor was the opposite of helpful."  Communicating, and relieved at knowing someone else was being truly helpful to a mutual friend - exercising their friendship at the same time.  (Bonus, helper dislikes me, feels friendship-jealousy and so appreciates my absence there. Me too!)

Converations about feelings of all kinds.  Helped, no doubt by the ongoing transit of Pluto to my Mars (also in Cancer).

How are sixth house matters going for you, anonymoushermit? (Shared daily living, work, and all...)

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