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My issues or My son's issues?


flaneurita
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Hello,

I have always come to this group in dire situations and found amazing amount of support and strength, so thank you if you read this.

This is going to be a long one but I am trying to understand whether my anxiety is justified?

My son is 6.5 and soon to start year 1 at school. He has had a pretty unstable first 6 years due to our move from India to UK, my prolonged post natal depression and a very ugly near breakdown of our marriage, death of his favourite grand parent and lockdown to boot.

He had a good first year at school and made some amazing friends and I did too and now due to some stupid numbers business the school has moved him into a new class that is a mixed class, but only 5 children of his age and the rest from year above who will move on next year. Out of the five of his age, my son only knows one special needs child and they have a very one sided relationship where my son is more of a support to him but he is not. No offence to special needs children or their parents but I am finding this hard to deal with. His other two best friends are in a different class now so he also feels left out and unfairly treated. One of the mums in his new class actively dislikes me because of some past incident which she is not willing to let go. I have raised my concerns about my child's wellbeing to school but they are not interested really. How does this year look for me an my son considering this situation and whether I am making a big deal out of it?

My son has saturn-moon conjunct in 4th house and I have an intense 12th house. Not sure if you can see the charts, I am not able to upload successfully

Me
Josho
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Elsa
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 Elsa
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I think it's a big deal and a hard knock.  I'm really sorry you and he are in this situation.

I would set the adult situation aside so long as you've apologized for your part in it and let her know you'd like to get back on track.  Basically, this is a boundary thing and once you have your side of the street squared, you can leave it.

It's probably not the end of the world, you son is a caregiver, basically. He is parental (even at six) due to moon Saturn so in a way, what he's doing in natural. But it seems unfair to me as well. I definitely see what it bothers you (and him) but good things can come of this, too.

You can tell him you're proud of him for helping the weaker child. That's an honorable thing to do... and good will come back to him for this, at some point.

Also, it may feel his friends have moved on without him but this may not be the case.  Not if he's a favorite, for example.

Bottom line, resolve the issue with other mother, asap. This will free you up to contend with the other situation. You might have his friends over for example.

Just think in terms of being a high expression of moon Saturn. Supportive mom with boundaries, basically. This is also a chance for him to learn that life really isn't fair but people who learn to roll with the punches tend to fare well over time.

Good luck.

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flaneurita
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@elsa Thank you so much!

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JoFrance
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Hi, Flaneurita.  Just some thoughts about your son's chart.  I have Moon conjunct Saturn natally (mine is in Scorpio) and when I was your son's age, back in the 50's, I was in a class where kids with disabilities were in the same class with everyone else. You were assigned a seat in the room and mine was with the kids with disabilities, even though I had none.

Some of the kids had severe disabilities, one had Polio. I never met people like that and didn't like my situation, but I got to know them and visited them at home every now and then. I felt I had to because they really had no other friends. The Moon/Saturn conjunction is duty bound (Saturn). Your feelings come second in many situations.

Your son has Neptune in Pisces square that conjunction from the 7th house. I see that as him being empathetic or healing in one on one relationships.

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flaneurita
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@jofrance Thank you! Sorry did not see this earlier as I have been too caught up with all this and more. Wow! Your story and yes, my son is definitely feeling that responsibility, what I am beginning to realise and as you say that it comes naturally to him (while I think of it as a sort of 'heavy weight' for him). He was off school today because he was coughing so much yesterday and this morning one of the first things he said is how will the other two boys who only play with him do today?!!!

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