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Leo man x Leo Woman (What is his deal)

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leobra1221
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I somehow became friends with this Leo male last year around this time. We got introduced at the gym from mutual friends.
Instantly got along, had same sense of humor. Can joke, as well as talk about serious life butter.
We were both in relationships, he even knew my bf. Was always just friendly or joking around.
A couple months after meeting he started asking me to join his workouts. Sometimes with another friend sometimes just me and him.
Once in awhile my boyfriend would come to my gym, he would go up to him and talk to him before coming up to me. Kind of a respect thing.
But I also thought it was maybe because he felt like he didnt wanna give my bf the wrong impression. Anyways my bf liked him too, and didn't care we were friends or worked out sometimes he was a very trusting pisces. He also wouldnt come talk to me as much, or ask me to workout around my bf.
But, I gained a crush on this Leo. And I felt it was mutual. We both never crossed any lines or said or did anything inappropriate but you could just tell we had a connection.

When he walked into the gym and seen me his face lit up - huge smile. He'd come right up to me. We would workout together, and even if we didn't workout together he would still come and talk to me a lot. Tease me, joke, or bullbutter about life.
Eventually he started walking out with me, we would leave at the same time. To the point where a few people made comments or strangers thought we were a couple, its like others could see it.
We never talked or texted outside the gym. Didn't even have each other on social media.
He is a good guy. And crushes happen. I figured it would fade over time. Eh its just a gym crush no biggie.
But my crush got stronger. And a lot of times I would see or hear his gf calling him and they argue a lot, he mentioned that before.
He never really talked about her ever. But he started asking me questions like, how did you meet your bf. What kind of guys have you dated in the past etc.

Fast forward, after the gym one day he asks me to join him and our other friend for food after. He then tells us his gf left him.
2 weeks later he walks in and goes your never gonna believe this. And says he proposed to her. (They do have a 2 year old together)
I kinda dropped my crush after that, distance myself. He is engaged, I was in relationship. It was kinda nice to not feel those feelings for a bit.

He ended up moving a half hour away and moving gyms a couple months ago. About 2 weeks after he leaves our gym he messages me on social media (But never adds me as a friend)
Tells me "I miss your lame ass" (our typical way of talking to one another is banter, roasting each other and jokes for days)
I kinda just start talking about the gym and other butter, didn't say I miss you too or anything. Because at this point I let go of it anyways, plus I'm in a relationship. That was that we didn't talk since.

Now, about 1 Month ago me and my boyfriend broke up. I broke up with him, due to my own reasons that I am not gonna share right now.
Leo finds out, asks for my number over social media and has texted me every day since he knew we weren't together. He drives to my gym a few days a week (1/2 hour drive) just to workout with me. He initiates texting 90% of the time. I just let him come to me because well I am trying to be respectful that he has a relationship. Although he hasn't mentioned his relationship and I don't have him on social media to even know anything about it or if he is in one. I just assume.
When we workout together all we do is laugh and joke, and i can be myself. Talk to him about serious things. And kind of just gets you to forget about everyday life.
So my crush is back and stronger than ever.
I just cant help it. He makes me laugh, I feel I can be myself without being judged, there is chemistry, and he has begun randomly touching me (not inappropriately) but just you know the feeling when someone wants to be close to you. Just their body language. Like a little shoulder bump to be playful kind of thing.
He never crosses the line, he is respectful. But, I can see it in his eyes too.
Even a few days ago he asked me to go out to eat after the gym and he bought my lunch.
He has now started to workout with me most days of the week. Again, driving a half hour in a car that uses a butter ton of gas. He told me it uses a quarter tank just to get out there (If that doesn't speak for itself)

I haven't felt this kind of connection in a long time, even more than I felt with my previous bf in the beginning..
I also ran into one of his friends at the gym right when we first started talking again after I was broke up, and he goes "I talked to Leo and he told me you guys worked out together, do you have a crush on him?" I said why are you asking me that? He goes I asked him and he said "idk, but she did just break up with her bf". He tells me he didnt wanna admit it lol.
I told him I wasn't saying anything (i didnt say yes but I didnt deny), and he goes its okay you dont have to say anything, I see the way you two look at each other, you have chemistry.
I said isnt he engaged? And he goes "Technically yeah, but I dont know he doesnt tell me about his life these days"

I try not to like him, but I just enjoy being around him. I would never cross that line because he is in a relationship. But I am just curious what is going through his head.
I dont think he would ever be the type to cheat, hes respectful. But, I damn well know he likes me. His actions say everything.
He started making more flirty "jokes" And I laugh it off. But deep down it has me pining over this guy. I have not seen him flirty with anyone else, and was not flirty with me until I was single.
Part of me wants to back off, because in reality this guy has a life. And I don't think it would ever get to that.
The hopeless romantic in me is holding onto that 1% sliver of hope that - if its the one it will be if its meant to.
But in reality maybe I am just in a fantasy world. And the last thing I want to do is ruin a family. But, in all honesty - he is the one coming to me. Texting everyday, initiating workouts, asking to go to eat etc
He makes a joke saying I am your gym bf. And I say no youre not lol but he continues to make the jokes.
It seems to be progressing with him driving so far just to see me and workout. And texting me everyday even at 3 am lol Yesterday he also got jealous in the gym of another guy playfully fighting with me and picked me up. You could see it on his face and he kept making remarks afterwards.
All we do is roast each other, laugh, have fun but we both also got a good head on our shoulders and can talk about real life stuff.
We just have a connection and he is different. And I value he is respectful because I feel like other guys would try to cross that line.

I feel the connection and I wonder what he truly feels - what is the extent of it. 
How deep is his feelings really?
I feel I should distance myself, because If i were his woman. This looks horrible and I would be hurt! That he is spending so much time with another girl and texting her everyday and being flirty once in awhile. But at the same time I cannot help myself with this connection.

I know deep down he wouldnt cheat, and I wouldnt allow it. Well, I guess physcially. But - where does this end? 
Whats the end game?

Any insight?

He is
Leo Sun
Cap Moon
Virgo Merc
Libra Venus
Cancer Mars

I am
Leo Sun
Libra Moon
Leo Merc
Leo Venus
Libra Mars

I believe our mars - venus aspects creates the chemistry.
Go ahead and judge me - anything you can say has already ran through my head lol

In reality deep down - I feel I am wasting my time feeding this crush that will never go anywhere.
But I cant get away. I might have to force! Help me let go of this Leo please and thank you lol I have to be realistic that he has a family.

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Elsa
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My guess is he likes attention! 

Best question you can ask yourself is, what do you want?

1% chance is not enough to pay and mind to.  <- opinion Smile

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leobra1221
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Posted by: @elsa

My guess is he likes attention! 

Best question you can ask yourself is, what do you want?

1% chance is not enough to pay and mind to.  <- opinion Smile

I think we both like the attention.

But I feel there's more to it than that..

What do I want? To know what he actually feels.

Shit or get off the pot! lol

I wanna either get over it and move on or see what the deal is I guess..

But in reality what would happen?
Him leave and be with me and thats a huge mess with kids involved and everything. Seems unrealistic, but not impossible.

But thats just my hopeless romantic self. With 7th house in Scorpio so im addicted I guess !lol

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buendia
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You can ask him how he feels. But I think actions say a lot more, especially in situations like this. Evasion, subtlety, and sweet talk are the bread and butter of romantic flings and flirtation, so it can be hard to get a straight answer. That can be fine if you already know someone is available, but it can become really confusing otherwise.

So what you know about his actions are that he flirts with you, in person and through text. The rest of the time, presumably, he’s raising children in a home with the woman he’s asked to be his wife. They likely pay bills together and know each other’s families. They have history, and if they have kids together, they’re bound for life, regardless of what happens in their relationship. 

I’m not judging you. I know how easy it can be to get caught up in something like this, to like the attention, to meet someone who seems like everything you’ve been missing, to think…what ifif only

I fell in love with a man who failed to mention he was still seeing his ex. They were separated and “repairing” their relationship. I felt so unbelievably stupid and it turned out to be the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It changed every part of my life. She knew about me, though, and sent her friends into my work to check me out. I was too weak to pull myself away, even though by that point I knew something wasn’t right. I was just hanging on his words as the truth. They were meaningless, obviously, because he was a lying coward. It took me so long to heal from that, and I’ve set a lot of rules for myself since then.

So. What if she finds out and doesn’t see this as an innocent thing? What if she goes crazy on you? What if she tracks him and shows up to wherever you guys are together? Even if you’re just hanging out, what if she believes a serious line has been crossed? What if she makes a scene or tries to ruin your reputation? What if she is well connected somehow, and could thwart your future? What if she snaps and tries to physically hurt you? What if she finds out and tries to keep his kids from him? That especially will kill any and all romance, and he’ll likely hate himself and probably resent you. What if all that happens and he still ends up with her, his family?

I don’t know if any of this could or would happen, and I hope it doesn’t. And only you’ll know if dealing with any of those possibilities would be problematic for you. Maybe it’d be worth it to you. But these are possibilities that can be hard to see when things seem fun and sweet and comfy, and when there’s a lot of chemistry. 

These days, I don’t even analyze why I feel hesitant about someone. I don’t assume anything about their character, I just know it isn’t a good fit, for whatever reason, and leave it at that.

Both charts would be important to see in this case, though I agree with your initial assessment. Compatible Venus and Mars usually signify good chemistry, but aren’t necessarily long lasting or deep, on their own. Other aspects and placements generally show that. With the Fixed and Cardinal energy involved here, though, Saturn and Pluto are making some challenging aspects in both charts, at least by sign, if not degree. It is very, very common for someone who is feeling overwhelmed by serious relationship and commitment to seek out something (or someone) light and fun. Just something to keep in mind. Sometimes we just have to go through things and see what happens, especially if we’ve never been there before. From my vantage point now, though, I wouldn’t want to become a third party in someone’s messy relationship. 

That makes me think, I think Elsa has written about triangles in regards to Venus/Pluto. Might be worth a search.

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leobra1221
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@buendia 

Thank you for taking time to respond.

And yes I have thought of all of this, I am an over thinker. All possible scenarios have ran through my head and of course the scales are out of balance on this one. 

But at the end of the day it rolls back down to my feelings that I cannot shake.

I do not have his birth time in order to share charts.

 

I never wanted to be the one involved in a triangle, but I guess you live and learn. And that's what it would boil down to.

I may learn, good or bad.

Who know this may never be more than what it is and sizzle out.

I could in fact ask him yes, you're right. But, I do not want to encourage pushing boundaries. ( I guess more than I have? )

If he were to come to me Id be open to expressing, but by no means am I going to make an advancement. If it never goes further than this that will be because he didn't push it, never me.

Mind you I am by no means not taking responsibility of my actions by still engaging and going along with what has been, of course I am. Even if he is the initiator, I am still playing along afterall.

Also, I am sorry to hear of your heart break. But, in the end you did in fact learn something right? Gained something.

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buendia
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@leobra1221 I learned something, but the cost was too great. I only included a tiny blurb of what happened in that relationship. What I gained, and I did gain in experience, it wasn’t equal to what I lost. Not even close. It was very serious, and is just something I have to live with now, though I’m in a better place now than I was. I can’t emphasize enough how much I regret going there. I try not to let the silver lining distract me from the truth anymore. Was it destined? Maybe, maybe not. I have no idea. I could and should have walked away at any time, the red flags were there. But red flags are just flags when wearing rose colored glasses.

One thing I learned is that there’s a difference between knowing something, and Knowing something. So, while I don’t doubt that you have considered the possibilities, if you’ve never been there, you really don’t know how it will be or how you’ll feel if any of those things were to happen. I don’t mean you, specifically, just that it’s generally true of most people.

But also, please don’t think I’m telling you what to do here, or suggesting anything at all, or judging you. I have always been one who had to learn things and experience things for myself. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t, and I’ve wised up in some ways as I’ve gotten older. We’re different people, with different lives, and I don’t assume my experience is universal. I’m prone to feeling guilt, when most people wouldn’t. I do have significant Libra and Leo, and boy do I know what it’s like to get caught up in my feelings for someone. But as you said, maybe this is it and it will fizzle, or maybe it will be great.

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leobra1221
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@buendia 

I always try to look at things that were unfortunate as a lesson. Maybe its my way of coping with it and accepting it. I don't necessarily like the word regret for that reason.

And possibly what you went through was destined but we may never know.

It has given you wisdom, and I am sure it had sparked self reflection. Which in turn, is a positive.

But its easier to say that when your not in the core of it all.

 

And yes... I suppose time will tell.

 

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buendia
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I am sorry if I’ve made this more serious than it is. Please ignore me if it’s really not that serious lol. I just know how serious things can be and can get. There are many things we can’t come back from, in spite of what we learn from them. Death, for example. Saturn and Pluto are serious. Custody battles can get so ugly really quickly. A few days ago, my nephew was taken by someone who wasn’t supposed to have him, who had little involvement in his life until now. He’s home now, but we spent the last four days not knowing if that would happen, or if he was safe. I can’t describe that feeling, and there’s a long scary uphill battle ahead for my sibling. 

I’m not telling this to scare you or shame you or to feel sorry for me. Just trying to illustrate the gravity of what can happen sometimes when we play with fire.

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leobra1221
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@buendia No I appreciate you shedding light on that! There is nothing to be sorry for.

 

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carmen
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Hi,

As a Leo sun, mercury and Venus both in Leo as well and a Libra rising . In the past I could easily get infatuated with a person. I once dated a Leo male with an Capricorn moon. And for us it did not work out. My lesson was that his capricorn moon dragged me down. And it was square my Pluto in Libra. The Leo males I know tend to be very loyal towards their partners even tho they are in bad relationships. Can you share your beloved ? I found it hard he had a son with his ex , and eventually he couldn’t let her go. He idealized her. For me that was enough to get of the stage. Or my ego couldnt take it. 

I have to say his ex was a lovely girl. And she didn’t take him back. I don’t know how old you are. And I know it sounds sooo cliche , but from a fellow Leoness with libra rising I would bide my time and keep my distance. I’m in a steady relationship now for the past 8 years with a very loyal and caring Scorpio sun and Libra moon. No more capricorn moons for me for sure. 

just my 2 cents! 
carmen 

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leobra1221
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@carmen no of course I cannot share my beloved! Lol that’s why i stated that I know he is a good guy. Relationship wise. Although we have this connection it doesn’t get past a certain point.

but thank you for your input! 
I’m glad to hear of your Scorp now!

I know what the facts are but it’s convincing your feelings otherwise lol!

I am 26 by the way, he’s only a year older.

my Leo Libra love fantasy needs to be grounded I think.

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carmen
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Aww you are a bit younger. Remember even tho you come into a situation that you think your heart is broken. Its only the ego that gets bruised. I’m happy for the misfortunes in love now while I look back. I’m 41 and I’m calmer now. I won’t get myself in situations anymore. But O do I remember the time I easily got infatuated. Like the biggest sunrays. But when clouds come by , you’ll miss the light. You are your own light. And there will come a handsome stranger along who will swep you off your feet. A man who gives you the spotlight. A Leo male wants that too. And for you as a Leoness its not your duty to share that light with a fellow leo . 

much love and light to you! Stand back and just wait patiently ( preferably for a not Leo lol) 

 

carmen 

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leobra1221
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@carmen 

I don’t tend to infatuate easily believe it or not maybe that’s what makes this more unique for me.

and it’s hard with a Leo man because it’s my 5th house! Lol I get drawn into the 5th house romance and fun.

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carmen
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@leobra1221 I have to admit its fun especially in your 5th house I understand. My Leo sun is in the 10th. Just have fun and don’t commit too fast. These are the years you have to enjoy being in love and have many admirers. I had many of them at your age. I had a blast. I wasn’t always nice tho. I loved playing and when push came to shove this Leo was gone. I loved being chased lol. 

just enjoy the ride and how do you say it in english ? ( My Native language is Dutch ) guard your heart ?

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leobra1221
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@carmen 

i do have a lot of admirers but I’m picky with who I give my time too.

ive said no a lot in my day lol

And it’s hard for me NOT to guard my heart lol. Most of the time it’s harder to crack open.

 

 

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sophiab
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The connection between you sounds very strong and hard to avoid. Leo's are such heart centred people, the heart wants what it wants! I feel this guy is genuine in his heart about you, yet he has a dilemma. Does he follow his heart or his responsibilities? We know that he has a relationship that is both difficult - they separated- and has responsibilities - a child. He solved the issue of the separation conflict and the child by offering to get married, Capricorn and Virgo, do the right thing! You were taken at that time, not an option. Now you are free and like you, his crush is a fire he can't put out. He is now with a growing dilemma, he doesn't know what to do and is as confused as you. He is salving his heart urges by seeing you and spending time, maybe hoping the answer will appear, but the longterm problem lies unsolved. If you care about him from your experiences together thus far, as a fellow struggling human being, I would bring up the subject directly and ask him your questions. You would be taking responsibility, it is true, but also being kind to the both of you. You can then get real about this dilemma together. I think the worst that could happen is that you would have to agree to separate your relationship but at least on friendly terms. The best outcome is you might deepen your connection through honesty. 

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leobra1221
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@sophiab 

Thank you for your reply! I feel like you nailed it on the head!

I feel like things have progressed recently… that something may give soon where there may be an opportunity to open up and see what happens. Like you said I don’t have anything to lose, in the end he isn’t mine anyways.

I also feel, he is very genuine with this heart as am I.

We are similar in that aspect, can’t fake feelings 

We read each other’s minds sometimes.

The time I reached out after my breakup to ask “are you still alive” (my first time ever reaching out to him out side of running into him in the gym) and he replied an hour or two later.

come to find out he told me later on that he hasn’t even logged into that social media profile in 2 months. And happened to check it the same night that I happened to reach out to him ever.

We both mentioned how this is “weird”

he also asked me are you still with so and so.

and I thought to myself why would he ask? It’s as if he knew lol just a weird coincidence or just a strong connection in itself. 

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leobra1221
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@sophiab Well I was right about him liking me.
He offered to work on my car. Eventually came over to hangout. He ended up holding me and cuddling and kissing me. We never had sex. This happened 2 times.
After the second time (last night) he text me right after he left and said something was bothering him.
He said he liked me a lot.
Then said this
“ This is the problem. I never planned on getting close to you. This whole thing seems like we are a perfect match. Everythings a coincedence . I think what you think. We understand eachother 100% . I tried staying just friends with you because i was in a relationship. Well things went bad and i said fuck it but I have too much bullshit going on and shit i need to figure out.”

He’s really contemplating things.
Said he’s liked me since we met, same as me.
I told him I liked him too but he’s the one in the situation and to take his time to figure his stuff out since he’s the one in a bind.

I knew he liked me a lot, but I didn’t know it was strong enough to contemplate his engagement with a woman who has his child.

Think i may step back and give him space to figure his emotions and things out. Idk what else to do.

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sophiab
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@leobra1221 Wow, it seems it's an unstoppable force between you after all. It's good you know now how he is really feeling. I hope you are coping OK with the rollercoaster of emotion? I would definitely give him lots of space, he has a lot of thinking to do. All you can do is clearly articulate how you feel, what you want, and leave it at that. Know your position on it and keep strong boundaries while he ruminates. In other words, stay as grounded and steady as possible. Also note the astrology, Mars is now in Libra, so this is going to affect the masculine! And Venus is in Scorpio - oomph for the big deep feels! He will be wanting to relate but also there is the notion of fairness and difficulty making a choice (Libra) so he may go back and forth.

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leobra1221
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@sophiab 

Yes the mars now in Libra had me thinking too. Its right on my natal Mars too.

But I am glad we have expressed what we feel.

This was all over texting though, so when I see him today I am going to try to elaborate my boundaries since I couldnt write a novel and its easier in person.

I am definitely in a roller coaster of emotions, nothing I cant handle its just a lot of unknown. Along with feelings getting stronger. I definitely didnt sleep last night, too much on the mind. 

When I am with him its like I have known him.. the way he holds me like he never wants to let go. I have not felt this sort of connection in a very long time if, even that. I normally shut emotions out or run away and I feel like I am not scared to feel with him... its different.

But, I am going to tell him to really take his time. Since this is very big. He has alot of baggage going on and I dont want him to strain his family for me. If he chooses the family I wouldnt blame him one bit.

Just shocked I had that much of an impact on him. Seems unreal.

 

Either way, the connection was worth experiencing or getting a glimpse of even if it doesnt fully bloom

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sophiab
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@leobra1221 I don't think I would sleep either! It's so hard to feel the big feels and stay grounded. It's like practising non attachment whilst  also keeping faith. I really hope you guys work it out!

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leobra1221
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@sophiab thank you!

I had to tell him something important that not everyone is accepting of. Some say it’s a deal breaker

he said it isn’t for him…

he also told me his relationship has been rocky lately and he’s not the cheater type.

he also called me perfect… and bought me a gift and sent it to my house.

 

 

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