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Is your love style affected by your parents?
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Alethia
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Monday, July 17, 2017 - 2:48 am
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Kleo said
Loving your insights. Especially the feeding pearls to the pigs one. I don't consider myself that precious though, but yes, I do compare myself to others, although I wish I didn't. Subconsciously I think, I am mad at myself for not being able to upgrade my behavior and thinking to something better. It's a period in my life where I feel stuck, or maybe I am making excuses, and that's what's tearing me, like I want to be an evolved Pisces, not a lazy one.

@Alethia, I think if people find me interesting, that would bring their admiration and their wish to spend time with me. And once again, to feel loved and wanted for my persona. Right now, I feel I am not my best self, emotionally that is, and I have this impression that I look and have this "meh" vibe, uninteresting and people don't reach out to me a lot. Not that I have many friends, but still. I was watching today a famous youtuber, a girl, and she waa saying in her video that she isn't happy. And I could relate to her, because she was in the same situation. She had no friends (I have 5-6 friends), her relationship was not working lately and she knew it isn't going to work in the future as well. And she was in Italy right now and she said she couldn't enjoy the time there, she just can't. And I thought that maybe because of my external events now, not feeling emotionally satisfied with my job, feeling that I don't know what I'm good at, seeing friends once or twice a month, not feeling that they want me like before, hanging out with other people, all these events I suspect have led me to not enjoy when I am going out or enjoy the things that once were a source of food for my soul. 

So I guess that it's true what they say "All you need is love". Like literally, everything I am going right now is because of lack of love and support. Or the love I used to feel for and from people in my life..  

Kleo, be kind with yourself. Becoming evolved takes time and we are all on this journey at different stages. Try to look at yourself with more understanding, there is no hurry, take your time to see what's inside, to watch your thoughts, to observe others... it's a journey after all and each step matters. You are not a lazy Pisces, you ask yourself questions, you feel things are not right, you crave change, this is not being lazy. You only have to understand that you have to have patience, patience with yourself...

I think all of us, or at least the majority, have moments when we are not our best self, it's normal, it's part of the journey and it's normal it's not alwasy easy...

You said you have friends, call them, go out with them, take time to spend with them. I don't know how close you are, but maybe you can talk to them, share them your worries... Maybe it's just your feeling that they don't like you like before. When we are feeling down, we tend to feel nobody likes us... Maybe you just project on the outside your feelings, but it's not necessarily your friends feel this way. And you said you spend very little time with them. Why? What makes you not spending more time?

It is true we all need love, but we also need to accept ourselves, to make friends with ourselves...

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Kleo
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Tuesday, July 18, 2017 - 4:16 am
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Because they are busy with relationships. And 4 of my friends live abroad, so I get to see them once a year. The other 2 have a life, one is in a relationship and with her I talk everything that worries me and she understands, she is into spirituality like me, we think alike. The other one has friends separate from me that she hangs out a lot, and lately there have been 4 occasions for me to hang with them, but every time I couldn't be there because of work or family. So I thought there must be a meaning here, like the universe is isolating me from this particular friend, because it's literaly crazy how everytime they travel together or have a party, I can't come. I kind of wish I had a small group of friends too that I can call my tribe. And hang out 3 times a month and just be like a family. Everybody seems to have friends in a small group that they always hang out or call each other and I find it so beautiful to always call each other and gather when they go out. Well, about that patience thing...it's been over a year now, but I have no choice anyway. Maybe in the future I will find out why these restrictions are happening now. 

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Alethia
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Wednesday, July 19, 2017 - 2:30 pm
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Kleo said
Because they are busy with relationships. And 4 of my friends live abroad, so I get to see them once a year. The other 2 have a life, one is in a relationship and with her I talk everything that worries me and she understands, she is into spirituality like me, we think alike. The other one has friends separate from me that she hangs out a lot, and lately there have been 4 occasions for me to hang with them, but every time I couldn't be there because of work or family. So I thought there must be a meaning here, like the universe is isolating me from this particular friend, because it's literaly crazy how everytime they travel together or have a party, I can't come. I kind of wish I had a small group of friends too that I can call my tribe. And hang out 3 times a month and just be like a family. Everybody seems to have friends in a small group that they always hang out or call each other and I find it so beautiful to always call each other and gather when they go out. Well, about that patience thing...it's been over a year now, but I have no choice anyway. Maybe in the future I will find out why these restrictions are happening now.   

Now I understand better the reason for you not meeting them more often. But you could talk on the phone or make a skype coffee 🙂 I have no friends left in the city where I live, but still, spend a lot of time with them on the phone or on skype 🙂 Although I prefer our real face to face conversations over the virtual once, it's nice that the advancement of technology makes all this possible 🙂

Maybe you could make it somehow possible that maybe you visit them once a year and they visit you back too. For me, the virtual coffees and glasses of wine are such a nice time that I really feel like we keep connected all the time 🙂 I don't know..., I'm just trying to make some suggestions here 🙂

If you feel that there must a meaning in these separations, maybe the meaning is that you have to spend some time focusing more on yourself, rethinking certain habits, ideas etc. I felt very bad too at a certain moment when I realized all my friends left the country, but later... I began to see that I had work on myself to do, lots of work that I postponed it and it just had to be done, like getting rid of the stones that were weighing me down. 

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Kleo
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Thursday, July 20, 2017 - 1:43 am
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We talk over whatsapp, but it's not the same thing, I want to go out, take walks etc. You know? I am grateful for them. It's such a shame that they are abroad and I get along so good with them and they are more close to me at the soul level than the friends I have near. They are more interested, I mwan genuinely interested in how I am feeling, like they really do care about me. That's what I thought too, that maybe this time is just for me and I have to accept it for what it is. 

Btw, those coffee skype dates sound so amazing 🙂 wow, sex and the city like hehe. 

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