Clear all

How to deal with very toxic and dependent sibling

Posts: 85
Topic starter
Trusted Member
Joined: 6 years ago


im sorry I need a listening ear. Been in therapy for 2 years now healing my abusive childhood.

I feel im getting no where . Because my sibling who is in his 40’s refuses to take responsibility for his life. He’s heading into bankruptcy due to no income during Corona and of his own doing. Refusing to cut bills and refusing to spend less.

He’s constantly blaming me for being alone and has no one. People withdraw from him because he’s utterly draining and very negative. He won’t seek counseling because he feels he doesn’t need it. I moved away 5 years ago because i just couldn’t stand his aggressive and bossy behavior anymore. 

my mom used to be like that too, she passed away. His only alley. My dad is Ill. And I take care of him. Gladly he’s doing better now. 

I know Pluto squares my moon now and it’s coming back for 2 more times. 4th and 1st house. 

I’m afraid I’m afraid that something terrible is going to happen. 

but my other feelings are that I’m angry angry that he puts the blame on me him not taking responsibility. I’ve taken him in many times. And I just won’t do that anymore. I’m preparing myself for the biggest fight and drama.

o how i wished my transits would be better. But.. that’s a farce. 

2 Replies
Posts: 193
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Pluto transits often involve 'amputations', endings and finally resolving situations that are holding you back. Am I right in thinking Pluto is transiting your 4th? This is a very painful transit and can mean cutting off/trimming down who you see as family/home. Do you think going no contact with your sibling would help? Not only yourself, but him, as when he has nobody left around him to blame, he can begin to work on himself.

I wouldn't presume something awful is going to happen, maybe more you feel the situation building to a climax, and something's gotta give. You don't have to endure fights or drama, you don' have to engage with it at all - you can only be responsible for yourself.

1 Reply
Joined: 6 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 85


Hi, yes Pluto is moving trough my 4th. I have distanced myself from him. I changed my phone number, because he was calling all day every day yelling and screaming. 

and I moved 350 km away to get some rest from him. He constantly says that he doesn’t want to live anymore . He has done that for years now and his way of trying to get some grip over me.

my mom always did the same way her whole life. He was her favorite and now she’s gone he feels he can pull that on me like she did.

im passed the point that I feel sorry for him. Sometimes I’m scared that I’ll lose my mind in all of this. 

My sibling won’t take accountability for anything , never had never will. He expects me to take care of him . That’s why he was devastated when i announced that I would move. 

He’s narcissistic so maybe he won’t kill himself. But on the other hand? I won’t underestimate him either.

that doesn’t mean I will let myself being bullied into stepping up again. Have done a lot hat for lots of times . He lived with me various of times. And then never want to go back to that horrific scene again.

still it nags and eats at me!

 Thank you for your reply ❤️