Monday, June 4, 2012
This being the last full day of Venus RX I ask the question –
What does it feel like to be Amputated?
I would like to reflect on my own patterns in relationships. And, do better.
This is not a free-for-all – take a poke at soup. This is also not a thread to brag about being the best at cutting people off… not a pissing contest. We all know everyone is the best at ghosting or cutting off to the extreme…
I want to know what it feels like to be the person that is Amputated. The person that really liked or loved someone who just stopped communicating with them.
Wouldn’t it be better if we put boundaries in place first to let people know before they cross the line where the line is?
Venus is getting ready to go direct and I would like to do better. I have had some time to think. And, I want to be a better person in friendship and in love. I would like to be the kind of person that doesn’t take things so literally that I can’t bear to speak to someone who I feel has hurt me ever again. It’s clear to me that this is extreme.
I am getting ready to move and I will have to make new friends. I would like to start this new phase out right. I don’t want to be the kind of person who cuts people off. I would like to set boundaries clearly, let people know a truth so we don’t get to the Amputation stage.
Scorpio is notorious for cutting something or someone off and never looking back. The person or thing is dead to them. We all know this. I also know this isn’t right in all situations.
I would like it if I never did that again. I can imagine it is confusing and maybe very painful. I don’t want to hurt people. Even if sometimes they have amputation coming. Let the universe deal with them.
Can you help me understand what being the Amputee is so I can make an effort to never do it again?
What I want to know is – ‘WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE’?
The following users say thanks to soup for this post:Elsa, DarkAquarian, CrisLondon, allie120, Hades Moon, Calliope
Empty. It feels like, defeat. You think you’re going to die. You’re without animation…
But right behind that, I have to say that a person does recover… and they wind up with your knife.
The knife must be dug out of your own back or vital organs but this can be done and after that, it heals over.
I should add, this is my (personal) experience. I have a strong Jupiter + 8th house so others may fare worse (or better).
It’s a great question. And the best Scorpios I have know have always given ample warning.
The following users say thanks to Elsa for this post:soup, DarkAquarian, CrisLondon, allie120, Hades Moon, Calliope, strawb.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I agree with Elsa that it feels empty, like defeat. But then after digging out the knife and healing over… it can feel like freedom.
Being amputated is so much better than be strung along by someone who is just keeping you in their back pocket.
I’m over it now, but I used to hold a little resentment for people who didn’t have the balls to break up with me when they should have…. if that makes sense.
The following users say thanks to CocoPeaches for this post:soup, Hades Moon, Calliope
I had some other thoughts…
If you’re at fault and provoked the amputation – it’s a lifelong regret.
What I wrote above was in regards to some Scorpio cutting you off in some way,
I’ve had a significant # of Scorpios try to take me (my blog) out. There is initial pain but it’s back on them, very quickly.
I guess it comes down to the individual. There motive might be a factor as well.
The following users say thanks to Elsa for this post:soup, Hades Moon, Calliope
Friday, May 8, 2020
I have done this many times and people have done to me as much.
It is painful. When i cut off someone i do feel little sadness even if it was a right choice.
When somebody cuts me off i analyze the whole situation for days.
It is important to LEARN from it.
The whole things about amputation would be less painful if people were open and honest (asking way too much right?) and just say “You know what this is done bla bla bla” instead of ghosting.
I have been ghosted at least 3 times since last summer. Twice by the same person.
It just makes you wonder if something is wrong about yourself. Aftermath is really painful in all cases for me.
The following users say thanks to Merc91 for this post:soup, CrisLondon, allie120, Hades Moon, Calliope
Monday, June 7, 2010
I would imagine it is like a door closing, not slammed in anger, but with an echoing permanence that hurts as it sinks in. The pain lingers, seeing other people come and go freely while the amputee is no longer recognized or welcome. After a while, it numbs and becomes meaningless, with perhaps only some confusion of not understanding why they were cut off. A person moves on, wounded but maybe wiser, or not. I’ve come to this same place of not wanting to hurt anyone. I don’t want the story of my life to be negative. I think you already know how the amputee feels though because it is a two-way sword. The loss and emptiness is felt deeply because the relationship we wanted was not possible or sustainable. Some of the worst pain I’ve felt is cutting someone off. It’s like someone dying. I grieve over the loss at least as much as the moocher I cut off.
The following users say thanks to GTO for this post:Elsa, soup, Opalina, Calliope
Monday, June 7, 2010
Ok, my bad. After thinking about it, I realized I have fallen back into the notion that the way I think is how the world in general thinks too – that everybody holds the same things important in life. I see people at work with critical duties who don’t take it seriously. They could care less and I’m sure it conveys to their relationships as well. I think the majority of people are completely self-absorbed. If you’re a person who cares deeply and you’re surrounded by human flotsam, you’re going to get taken advantage of and abused. If you’re moving to a new area, trust your radar and distance yourself so that you don’t have to end up amputating these pathetic clingers. That’s the best anyone can do. If you do have to cut someone off, they have asked for it. Don’t feel bad about protecting yourself. They won’t feel the hurt as much as you do or they wouldn’t have been messing you over in the first place. I think Scorpios are mostly defensive and don’t go on the attack unless provoked so any knife being pulled out and used was in Scorpio’s back to begin with. Handy for amputation. A person is better off alone than with fair weather friends and moochers who are only there for what they can get from you.
The following users say thanks to GTO for this post:Elsa, soup, Opalina, Hades Moon, Calliope
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
This has been my case with “friends” I take my friendships seriously, most do not.
I am starting to reconnect with an old friend who disappeared when my husband got sick. I am nervous about it because I was a dumping ground for when she was dealing with her daughters drug addiction. People tend to lay their heavy energy on me and right now I am just not up for it. The years before that we had the most fun together. If we could return to that it would be great.
The following users say thanks to Opalina for this post:CrisLondon, soup, Hades Moon, Calliope
Monday, June 4, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
I’m in the process of mulling over a decision like this concerning a woman I recently dated. My heart is heavy. Very saddened by the affairs I’m a witness to and how the woman involved is reigniting old, self-defeating habits.
I find myself torn between distancing and protecting my heart or attempting to truly be friend but from a distance.
I’ve chosen the latter at this point. She’s in an explosive, seemingly dangerous situation but I feel that we can reconvene after the shit-show. Could be years for all I know.
But it is painful. I’ve been on both ends. There is only 1 or 2 people that I have amputated that deserved it. All others I reneged and we are again friends, better than before. It’s a really fucking hard thing to do because both parties are still attached and aware, and it cannot be shaken.
I appreciate everyone’s advice and words. It helped with my personal dilemma.
The following users say thanks to DarkAquarian for this post:soup, CrisLondon, Hades Moon, Calliope
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I’ve only been truly amputated once. He did me a favor as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t know how to sever that unhealthy connection at the time, and he did know. It felt like a release to me.
The following users say thanks to Libra Noir for this post:soup, CocoPeaches, allie120, Hades Moon
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Being amputated to me feels like:
– being punched in the stomach
– being bereaved and bereft
– like someone died suddenly
– feels like crazy-making and there is double-guessing oneself to get some clarity amidst the (great) confusion
– painful as hell
– like you didn’t or don’t matter
In some cases there is some closure when the person explains why they were amputating. In other cases there is no closure as there is no explanation.
Hope this helps.
The following users say thanks to CrisLondon for this post:allie120, DarkAquarian, soup, Hades Moon, Calliope
Monday, June 4, 2012
Friday, October 13, 2017
I have been amputated a few times by friends. It was very painful and the most painful was maybe not the thought of not seeing them again, but the torture of trying to understand the disappearing act. I would have liked to hear a word before they left… something, anything, but not the ice silence. I needed to understand. I blamed myself, tried to see what I did wrong.
I have been amputated by a Scorpio friend in the past. She decided to forgive me because she loved me, searched for me and we talked. I understood her reasons, now we are closer then ever and I know this is here to stay. It’s the only exception in my life in this chapter and I’m so grateful I have her in my life.
All the amputation pain took me years to heal, because I wanted to know “why?”. It would have still hurt, but knowing someone leaves me because of this… or that, would have helped me recover sooner. Understanding/ explaining why is important in my case for healing and closure.
I did recover… but took me so much time.
The following users say thanks to Calliope for this post:Merc91, soup
Friday, May 8, 2020
I was in contact with a girl over internet last summer. We chatted and had a calls for 3 months almost every single day, for hours!
She lives in neighbor country but we speak same language which makes things a lot easier for connection. I wanted to meet her. I was really subtle in the first few weeks but i eventually i opened up and showed a clear desire to meet her.
And then she disappeared (not a day or couple of days after but week or two when i said i want to see her).
I didn’t see that coming. The most confusing part about this was she left me a morning message on a break at work (it was almost like routine and i loved it, every time she had a break at job she would text me in the morning). Absolutely nothing unusual, just like any other day.
That was it. I was left on that message. I had to reply you with this short story because of your “WHY”. It is absolute torture. I have lot of Virgo and i didn’t slept for days thinking about what happened. It took me around 8 months or for feelings to recuperate since that day.
“Why” is definitely the worst that can happen when it comes to amputation. I will never ever do this to nobody in my life. If i have to i’ll give at least reason so nobody feel what i felt after and been through.
The following users say thanks to Merc91 for this post:Calliope, soup