I have Borderline Personality Disorder characteristics. Not super strongly, but they’re definitely there. It’s gotten better as I’ve gotten older. But I have this fear of being alone.. its an insecurity and it’s not a normal fear - it feels like I would die if I were to lose my security, which I look for in someone else. I need someone else to help me fell secure and very few people can.. I don’t trust 99.9 percent of people. I just realized that I partly feel secure because I know my husband would never leave me. I know this in my bones. So even when we were at our lowest, when I probably should have left him, I didn’t.
He’s a Scorpio with a Cap Moon, Scorpio Rising. He also has Moon square a Libra stellium, Pluto/Jupiter/Mercury/Saturn. My poor husband has been through the ringer with me. But he also put me through the ringer so... But if he is one thing it is Loyal.
We’re ok now but I’m just thinking... I kept thinking my own money will make me feel secure, so I worked my ass off to achieve that, and I keep working and working and working and wearing myself out, but it goes far deeper than that. Far far deeper. I have my own money now and I still have that fear.
wITH MY HAND/ARM PROBLEM (LEFT) i JUST CAN HARDLY POST BUT WILL BE STOPPING IN TO READ AND TRY TO CATCH UP. PAT
Funeral is on Wednesday. I'm at a loss for words.
Someone got my credit card info. Arrgh.
aw that sux!
Home from the funeral.