Wednesday, July 27, 2016
I don’t know if this should be in the Astrology forum or in here and if it’s in the wrong place, my apologies. I also have a lot of questions and I can’t remember all the advice that was given to me when I asked them.
Anyways, I turned 30 back at the end of December and since then I’ve been having serious thoughts about love and children. However I have these fears of commitment because I’m afraid to get my heart broken because I have this thing about loyalty where it’s both an upside and a downside. I believe that love should last forever and relationships should be long standing. However I’m afraid to get into a relationship because I just know my heart will get broken in the long run. And with kids, I’d never thought I would want them because I don’t know how to act around them or interact with them at all. It makes me uncomfortable but deep down, I wouldn’t mind having one. I’m afraid that if I do have one, I won’t have love for my kid not to mention I’m very picky about who I want to have a kid with.
My relationship and children houses are respectively devoid of natal planets and rulers of the 5th and 7th houses are located in my natal 3rd house. I do have Uranus transiting the 7th right now but that’s about it.
I’m also confused over the 4th/10th house axis because I have a Leo South Node in the 10th conjunct the Midheaven and an Aquarius North Node in the 4th house conjunct the IC. I’ve been trying to find work and nothing yet.
Another thing is that I have a friend that I really like and I’m struggling to understand why I’m drawn to this friend because of the feelings I have. I’ve been trying to stay distant because it’s unrequited. I did get some insight on why that might be the case but it just sucks because I try to ignore what I feel for this friend and I just choose to believe it’s not a real feeling for me and it just doesn’t exist.
I did see somewhere when I posted my chart that someone had said I had a powerful chart. I have no clue what they were referring to because I don’t see that on my natal chart at all.
I do apologize for rambling like this and for complaining. Thanks for reading.
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Thursday, March 21, 2019
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Just my general ideas.
Firstly being very picky about who you’d want to have a kid with is the most healthy psychological perspective as I see it considering all factors. Like if you don’t plan on being an abused single mother. It is interesting that believing other than that is even an option and so it might be worth reflecting on whether hook up culture has had an undue effect on your outlook. (Not behaviour but outlook!)
I ran asteroids on this chart which is something I do when I am struggling a bit with them but also anyway. The trouble is with asteroids are sometimes they say horrible things like ‘this here is a sadistic tendency’ and ‘this part means the person will betray people in this part of their lives’. They are quite deep work. The asteroids that I found to be relevant to your chart which you can run are Dejanira (157) Aura (1488) and Fink (10981).
I don’t know exactly what you are looking for. I come from a kind of right wing philosophy of the world and generally perceive that if a woman has a priority to children that is a very meaningful thing. I would prefer to push that perspective when possible. HOWEVER, one of the most important aspects I perceive in a chart is a bi Quintile. It is literally the pentagram angle on the zodiac wheel and you have one from Sun to the MC, and Mars to Chiron. Which would put your career and such as extremely important and might incline you to healing in some manner. Especially to those outcast by society in some way. Obviously NN on IC kind of confuses this but I gaurantee it can all be unified!
Anyway, when I say I don’t know what you are looking for, well that’s it. Are you looking for advice so if I had a female friend how would she best work on me for a result? The emphasis of the sexiest places of your chart? Which was the first place I looked at an earlier time but of course didn’t say anything, I am far less focused in that area now with no female contact.
Your chart isn’t simple, like the example I gave with the NN opposing the bQ you have points in the chart where it seems there is a solution and then it’s clearly more complicated. Such as Moon- Venus. Also square from personal planets to the AC can’t be easy. You might feel like you are “getting in your own way” sometimes!
Pallas sesquisquare MC as well. That might make it hard for you to scheme at points. I love my Pallas in the seventh house! Mars transiting Pallas as well might have made the most recent problems you have had to be to do with this transit. Perhaps you have been frustrated that scheming seems to be the solution but you can’t do it.
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Below are links I found to topics you’ve posted on some of the things you mentioned. I’m sure many of those comments are still very valid. There were more…you can search, it literally takes 2 min to look for topics you started or that you posted to.
A must read:
Given your 3rd house Stellium, I looked at your progressed chart and p.Mercury is in Capricorn – and I think I now understand some of the confusion, and difficulty you seem to experience. Also, p.Mercury is approaching a conjunction to n.Saturn in Capricorn; but maybe Capricorn provides some grounding. Either way, t.Pluto on your n.Mercury (perfects in 2021) is already transforming you, your mind, likely how you think.
Despite Capricorn, I read that n.Sun-n.Jupiter opposition can be immature, so perhaps it’s responsibility you’re learning – as adults it only gets us so far if we project onto others (Pluto in 1st) the things we should really roll up our sleeves and put in the effort.
Your p.Moon is in the natal 5th house so it doesn’t surprise me that you’re talking and thinking about kids.
But given your current situation, would it be responsible (Saturn) to bring a child into this world? Can your family help or do you have to mend those fences – you say they are toxic? What family trauma might you then potentially perpetuate to the next generation if you went ahead and had a child? I’m not looking for you to give me an answer, but rather pointing out soul searching questions that I would ask myself if I were you – I’m not certain astrology can give you a simply answer or provide you a step by step script for you to follow. This has to come from you, that’s the responsibility, challenge, hard work that Saturn demands from all of us.
On the job front, I am of the personal belief that sometimes we have to start small, and not expect to waltz straight into the job we want or are trained for on day 1. Very few in life have a short and linear path to career success, sometimes detours are necessary as they prepare us for the future. Letting a fear of failure engulf you is the fastest way to fail – I think Capricorn is often plagued by this fear of failure.
“…in battling darkness during a Pluto transit, we should be careful that in the process we are not disowning and then projecting what we don’t like in ourselves on to others….Pluto transit Mercury (natal), beckons Mercury to explore and learn more .. mental power is increase, the ability to influence and sway other people through speech and writing is also increased…Our own opinions and ideas are open to change when Pluto transits Mercury… it’s an ideal time to explore what makes us tick….depression can result … as deep unconscious disturbing desires and obsessions are brought to the surface. Negative undercurrents with siblings or relatives may surface. Pluto transits to Mercury could serve to reveal latent mental or verbal skills that are not being utilized to their fullest….this is a good time to pursue a course of study or knowledge that will engage or captivate the mind”.
– Howard Sasportas
You have a powerful chart with a lot of dynamic energy in the 3rd house, which means you have the ability to be singularly focused and hard working – the tools are there, you just have to use them.
[Edit] I had mixed up in writing the p.Moon and Mercury signs, so I’ve corrected that. P.s. your p.Mars has changed signs to Capricorn – exalted. There’s a lot of ambition, strength, will power and courage with Mars in this placement.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2016