She texted him awful things over a period of 2 months. She was frustrated, which is why some of what she said was so awful. Previous to that, they were together for 2-3 years and every time he talked about suicide, she discouraged him from suicide and encouraged him to get professional help. People seem to forget this. The month before she started thinking it would be a good idea if he actually commited suicide after repeatedly telling her how much he wanted to for years, she said if she were him, she would get help. His response was that help didn’t work. In the court transcript, she read that if you start agreeing with a person, they might start to realize how stupid the thing they want to do is, but she said it didn’t work. He continued to be as bad shape as he was.
Yeah, perhaps it’s something to do with female psychology. She was sort of lost inside this guy. She couldn’t disattach.
I have this cousin that is always saying he’s going to commit suicide because of a medical condition. He refuses to accept any help or look for it himself and he refuses any attempt at socialising. I emailed and phoned him recently and he has not responded. If I carry on doing it, it will just start to be harassment!
(Of course I would have a problem like that! Pluto in the seventh is outwards facing as well as inwards).
This kind of attitude is very exasperating and it does lead to the feeling of wanting to shake someone in order to get some sort of reaction out of them that isn’t so deliberately depressive. Although, since there are adults involved the reaction to him is of course far more measured. Except from from the enablers.
While I would prefer such damsels of the dark stayed away from him I can understand the mindset to an extent.
Monday, June 4, 2012
This will be unpopular.
Where in the hell was his mother in all this? His father?
My youngest son was a nightmare at 16 years old. He was never suicidal but he sure was a risk taker.
This meant I had to kick into overdrive. I spent most of my time up his ass, taking his car and phone away. Pulling him out of underage drinking/pot smoking/pill bonfire parties where I had him around the neck dragging him OUT. It meant watching him because he was showing signs he was just not smart enough or emotionally mature enough to watch himself.
He decided he was going to go live with his father at 16. That only caused me to watch him closer. I couldn’t stop his moving. But I didn’t leave the responsibility on his neglectful father. I was involved with the school and the school counselor, had a counselor on hand and two doctors. I was also in close contact with our local police department. We were all on board. This kid was going to graduate from high school, and he was going to do it alive if I had to handcuff myself to him. I was willing to go to school every day, or even take him out of school. At one point I told him I was going to strip his ass of his rights and he would be on lock down until he made better decisions.
I really don’t give two shits what anyone thinks about this. He is alive, a father of two, has a great job and loves his wife and daughters. He is thriving.
He had an asshole girlfriend that was older than him. She did this and that…. and then I took care of HER. (she even tried to re-enter his life after Scorpio moon was born and destroy the relationship he had with DIL) I went straight to the source. HER. I asked her if she wanted to be a fucking local star? I told her I was going to make her famous, then go to her fiancé and tell him she was showing up at his job, calling and texting him. You’ve never seen a Taurus sun run for their life faster. She told people I was crazy. I told her to remember that whenever she was compelled to destroy my granddaughters life with her parents again.
I am no better than the next guy. But I have a deep understanding of what happens to kids that aren’t watched. I had to raise my mothers children. We were not watched properly.
If you are going to have a child then know the job doesn’t end at any age. You are their parent for the rest of your life.
There are a lot of articles that claim his mother was a real piece of work. Father too. And, that the kid had mental problems for years. He was also abused by family according to reports.
Today’s youth have lost human contact that is so important for a healthy relationship with other people. Texting does not replace the need for human companionship. These kids are being raised by cell phones. It’s easier to give a kid a cell phone and turn them loose.
In the end, it was he who decided to kill himself. And if a text could coerce him to do so, then his fucking parents should have been well aware of the fact that he wasn’t playing with a full deck. How are you going to have a kid with mental issues and not be watching what the hell he is doing? If the kid had no legs mommy would have had to push him in a wheelchair. You don’t notice your child is struggling?
Was it wrong? Her texting this bullshit to him? Hell yes it was wrong. I would have that little shit around her neck!!!!!!!!! She would have sent ONE text and her phone would have been UP HER ASS!!!!!!!! But if he was mentally unstable why in the hell was the family sitting back on their thumbs? And again I am no better than anyone….but I can tell you this – I watched my babies that turned into children that turned into pre-teens that turned into teens that turned into 19-20-21 and moving forward. Some of them don’t need as much supervision as others. I knew my youngest needed a guard on duty until he got some fucking sense!!!!!!!!!
Why are we making monthly payments on cell phones and internet for our kids and not looking at the content coming in and going out?
At 19 my son was still acting like an asshole. That is when he went into the Army and a drill sergeant got ahold of him and pulled the rest of the punk out of him. I tried every other thing. I knew he was going to get killed in a car accident or drink too much and cause accidental harm to someone else. I knew my kid. When he got out of the Army….he was different and almost there…but still on some risk taker ground. And I went after him again.
It’s a LOT of work. The hardest work I have ever had to do in my life. But, I decided to put him on this earth. And, I knew he was my job until he knew how to make better and more solid decisions. He was a huge PAIN IN THE ASS. He was a smart ass. Cocky. A back talker. He would take off. He would get in my face and I would knock him on his ass! 6 feet tall. Linebacker in high school football. And, I would knock him on his ass. All this and an honor roll student. This wasn’t a stupid kid. But his decisions were hideous.
We have had many talks about those days (he and I) now that he is older and can look back on that time he knows what I went through to keep his ass going.
If you could see the kind of father he is today, you wouldn’t doubt my efforts.
That girl is a prime example of the new soulless techno generation. These kids aren’t showing any of the qualities and feelings (such as sympathy and kindness) that make people human because they are allowed to communicate through a phone or a computer. There is no human interaction these days. He is an example of what happens to a young man who has no one watching his struggles. This wasn’t his first rodeo. We have to remember she was 17. I am trying to remember how solid I was at 17. What my own kids were like at 17. I had no business making any lifelong important decisions at 17….and the ones I made at 18 were sad and have caused me a lifetime of problems.
Was I ever worried that the authorities would come up on me and think because I got my boys around the neck and physically dragged them out of situations that I would be accused of something? NO. If I am paying your bills, and supporting you completely and you are 6 feet tall and get in my face …..your going to get knocked on your ass and your going to do the right thing. I realize there are some kids that you just cant do a thing with. And, there are going to be kids and adults that you just cant save from suicide or even prison. Still, you have to go in fighting for them. I was willing to fight to the death.
We are creating monsters who don’t have any empathy or feelings for anybody. The parents, who allow kids to grow up into robots without feelings should be on trial. Where in the hell where HER PARENTS? Why at 17 was she freely allowed to text that shit in the first place?
This is just another example of how we are never finished being a parent. Teenagers don’t make the best decisions. I had to watch my sons CLOSER after the age of 14 than I ever did when they were babies or young children and they were raised in the middle of a corn field. Why are we handing these people the keys to a car and setting them free?
Emerging science about brain development suggests that most people don’t reach full maturity until the age 25. And I can tell you neither of mine started acting right until about that age. Critical parts of the brain involved in decision making are not fully developed until after age 25 or so. Under most laws, young people are recognized as adults at age 18. Most of the privileges and responsibilities of adulthood are legally granted by the age of 18. That’s when you can vote, enlist in the military, move out on your own, but is that the true age of maturity? I say NO. And I watched it first hand…with my own.
Every lasting bad decision I have ever made happened before I was 25 years old. And I have paid for them for my entire life.
I am calling out the parents ….both sets. His parents. And her parents!!!!!! They dropped the ball.
I was lucky. I got good information. From my grandparents. My paternal grandmother told me something that stuck with me all my life. She said if she had one regret it was not going in the last time my father got into trouble and fighting with all she had. She said that cost him 15 years. She said he was making bad decisions and was a nightmare for years….and she just got tired. She said she was just sick of his bullshit, and tired of the fight. My father (who I don’t know well) spent 15 years in prison. She sat with me one day and said ….without doubt….If you ever have children don’t you ever give up on them. Family and raising the children you put on this earth have to come before any other thing you do. You’re responsible. You don’t get to be tired. She felt that when she gave up, it cost me a father.
There were so many times I was so sick of my son acting like an asshole I just wanted to move away. There were so many times I wanted to strangle him. There were so many times that I was emotionally spent, crying, at my lowest of lows. There were so many times I thought to myself…. I am not going to be able to stop him ….he is going to drink and run over a family of 5 in the car I bought him. Or, get killed in a car accident. There were even times I wondered why I had kids at all. But it wasn’t about me. It was about him. With his Gemini Stellium and that strong Mars in Scorpio fighting me with that mouth of his….. trying to run me and everyone else down with that mars. He’d say -I’m going to do it. And I’d say NO you are NOT. He’d call me the warden, Jesus, and tell people he was being raised by a Sith Lord. Pfffttt …..didn’t matter to me. I just wanted him to get the chance to grow up. And, I wanted him alive.
Today he has to look Scorpio Moon in the face ….. he’s not going to let her down. The baton was passed the day she was born. He has a Cap wife and a Scorpio moon daughter.
I don’t want disparage my son. I am not trying to paint a picture of an irresponsible nightmare adult. He is a good man. But he was a horrible teen and 20 something. Some kids just cause no problems. Some of them are these outstanding people early on. And, some of them need more handling. They need someone to stand over them until they are able to make mature decisions. My son was a child of divorce. He didn’t have a father that paid 5 minutes worth of attention to him. Do I blame his father? No, I blamed myself for choosing that kind of person to have a child with when I was under the age of 25. I picked a piece of shit to procreate with. Then I walked. This burden was on ME. I was in charge of what happened, and I was responsible for the mess. I started and caused the mess. I was the one responsible for the clean up.
There she sits. The girl with the Scarlet Letter on her chest. This vicious little psychopath! She is completely to blame for what happened to this young man. Witch hunt. Hang her in the streets. She is a cold killer. No one wants to go back into the history of these two kids and see what led to this event. No one wants to look at how they both got there. We are talking about a 17 and 18 year old. What life events led to his death and her imprisonment?
I am afraid we need to go back much further than those text messages. The ball was dropped by FOUR people long before this happened. If you are going to put a person on this planet then I think you should be prepared to LOVE it more than you love anything. Including yourself ….there is no time to get tired. Even with our best intentions and hardest effort we are going to find that sometimes the end of the story isn’t pleasant. But you better be prepared to put the work in if you are going to have kids. You cant stand in a courtroom and accuse a 17 year old of murder if you dropped the ball yourself.
Raising kids (in my opinion) is the most important job you’ll ever do. Be prepared. It’s hard fucking work to raise a decent human being. If you aren’t prepared to give up your shit to do it….don’t have them. I have made so many mistakes. With my life, and with the decision to have children before I was old enough to make decisions. It would have been much easier to let him fail and end up with an American tragedy. Then blame his dad….go on vacation and say….well, he is 18 years old. Let him suffer the consequences. But that is what happened to me. It was NOT going to happen to my kids. Even today…..if they ask me I am going to give it to them straight. I am not paid to be their friend. I am their mother. The person that has to tell them the truth when asked a question. The person that has to tell them NO… THAT’S WRONG… TELL THE TRUTH….
I had to be the warden, Jesus, and the Sith Lord. This was no picnic. They liked and loved everyone better than me.
But, what do I know?
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
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