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I got the flu I NEED ADVICE.....
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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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Sunday, February 25, 2018 - 11:20 pm
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No one should waste even five minutes of precious time or emotion over someone like her.  Elsa and JoFrance said it perfectly.  Do not engage.  Block her number.  Delete her from your client list and your thoughts.  

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Glenn
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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 12:00 am
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I gotta go with Elsa on this. I also appreciate your husband’s reasoning.

It’s obvious that this *Lady* doesn’t comprehend the gravity of the situation. She received a polite response “why” the work couldn’t be done…… and still had the gall to demand service?

I dunno….. I’d be tempted to have her bring in the dog, then turn around and cough all over the place. She was warned, right? Make sure the cough extra on the dog.devil

But….. Elsa’s advice is better (but not as satisfying).

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 2:07 am
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I just love you guys!

You all give the best advice. You have met these kinds of people and know exactly how to deal with them.

I was shocked, because I was always so good to that whole family. And, I don’t like to admit it but…..when you put your heart into something it HURTS when people are just plain mean. And, I love the dog. She’ll find no one that will treat that dog better than I have for years.

I really never had to deal with her much. Her husband (who cant tell time by the way) was always the drop off and pick up so I rarely saw her.

This is what I have been talking about though. I was quick on my feet. I worked hard. And I did the best I could do. When I got sick in December 2015 and had that big surgery I have just never bounced back to be the me….that I once was. I have tried everything too. Gym, great food, no intake of anything harmful….I am even careful with caffeine. People cant believe that something can come along and change you forever in the blink of an eye….but it can. I am sure age has something to do with all this. You cant have a near 6 hour surgery and expect to be the same after…. it changed me in every way something can change a person. Okay….Pluto and Saturn did  🙂

I was so happy. I though I escaped this horrible flu. I thought we were almost at the end of flu season and how lucky I was to avoid it…..until I got it. And, it went straight to my bronchial area…. I flew into the doc and was sad that after almost two years of being able to avoid them….I had to take antibiotics to get through it. I was flat for days….and contagious.

She is 60 years old. Her husband is 65. Why on earth would they want to be exposed to it? I thought I was doing the right thing. Everyone else was thrilled to avoid being exposed. I mean, isn’t it common courtesy? I would want to know.

At any rate the text is harsh…. I cant even bear to type the rest of it. It basically says I am SHIT…. and its many paragraphs long. Its taken everything I have to not respond. I cant think of one thing I have done to her to deserve it.

Oh well. You are right…. I should certainly avoid her. She is looking for a fight. When I have had seen her in person she is certainly gossipy and miserable. She is down right mean….

My husband said….. you can respond. And, I have every faith that you will wipe that woman off the planet with one sentence. But, you are a good person, and you don’t treat people that way. He said ….what good will come of it? You win? If you win, what do you win? You are exactly like her….or worse than her…..and that is not who you are.  (he sure does make a mess around here….but he is a good person – AND SO ARE ALL OF YOU)

Geeze….am I going to have one encounter after the next of mean people stabbing me in the heart for the next two years?????????????

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 2:10 am
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Glenn said
I gotta go with Elsa on this. I also appreciate your husband’s reasoning.

It’s obvious that this *Lady* doesn’t comprehend the gravity of the situation. She received a polite response “why” the work couldn’t be done…… and still had the gall to demand service?

I dunno….. I’d be tempted to have her bring in the dog, then turn around and cough all over the place. She was warned, right? Make sure the cough extra on the dog.devil

But….. Elsa’s advice is better (but not as satisfying).  

I know Glenn…..I told my husband I should have had her come immediately and kissed her right on the mouth when she walked in….that would have shut her up HAHA

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 4:58 am
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Geeze….am I going to have one encounter after the next of mean people stabbing me in the heart for the next two years?????????????

I think coming from a place of self worth (not better or worse, just equal) is the valuable lesson.

It didn’t sound like that was possible in this case, but I’ve noticed that you use your overdoing for people as a cudgel that you can take away when they get nasty.

I’m not slighting your caring, or saying you shouldn’t take it away. But the heart of that is lack of self worth, isn’t it? You have more to offer than sacrificing yourself. In the end, it breeds resentment (“all I’ve done for them”) even if you cut them off.

What if a healthy you was enough to buy a ticket on this ride? You don’t have the discount ticket that requires you to use yourself up in order to be a standard issue human. You have the same ticket everyone else has.

I don’t mean any offense. We are having similar transits and these things are on my mind.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 10:07 am
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Transiting planets also activate the opposite house axis, highlighting events and meanings connected with the opposite houses. Houses have many deep and varied meanings, it is important to know this, the directions of the Earth at the time and place of our birth set the stage for the unfolding of life events connected with our houses.

No one has a to put up with abuse, verbal, physical or mental. You can’t control this customer, nor she you, but you can control you. Capricorn Pluto is traveling through your 6H of work and service to others and is opposite axis 12H, house of slavery, anguish of mind, self undoing and hidden enemies (a few of many meanings). Ever notice how some people treat persons who perform 6H services for them as personal slaves? This woman’s behavior is arrogant, rude and demanding. No apologies or explanations needed or necessary. Leopards don’t change their spots, unless you want it, sever ties…like a guillotine.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 10:35 am
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user- I completely understand what you are saying here and I don’t take offense. I get it.

This has been a theme. I throw myself in.

In this case its just a business exchange. I always said in that particular business that I was going to give real value. It was important to me to give people more than what they pay for instead of half, which is what we seem to get these days….with zero customer service.

When I got sick, I couldn’t give anything. They were angry when they saw the service others offered for twice the price. While this kept me in business for years and I was healthy and happy to do it…. I could just no longer do it and retired. Now, being emotionally connected (because I work with things with beating hearts) its been hard to not only let go, but leave the ‘pearls’ of the bunch hanging. I want to do what I can when I am able.

I know better than to give the elderly the flu. A lot of people have died from the flu this year.

She even said in the nasty text, you are  good at (my profession) and offer a great value —  BUT….and that is when she tore me to shreds based on pneumonia and my inability to do something for her.

I don’t think it was fair.

I also think its stupid that I am hurt so deeply by these things. Are we all hurt so deeply? Many others would laugh at the text and think to themselves she is a fruitcake and blow it off. I am still deeply tied (at heart) to my job and to those animals. My husband has said so many times…..you are way to emotionally connected to that business. I wish I knew another way. They were ‘alive’ animals. I spent once a month with each of them. And, I truly do love them all. That is the connection that is hard to break.

I have had a theme running in my life for the last 15 years. It goes like this……

If you do A-B-C and D…..I will bring ….. the dogs, your grandkids, or pick another thing that I love…….and you will be allowed to spend time with them. If you don’t….I will take them away.

I have had a whole lot of people controlling me that way. When for example we could no longer afford to PAY the hostage amount for the kids…they did just that. Took them away. Now, it did hurt, but it hurt the kids much worse. Today they are controlling the other two grandmothers. One is a widow and so alone and lonely. She does exactly what they tell her to do. The other is alone and wants and needs her daughter as a best girlfriend. She complies also. My kids are top earners today. They no longer need financial help. So, they are getting the sitter service they need without the money and its good enough. They boss those women around like dogs. Daughter in laws talk to their mothers so poorly. Its disgusting to witness. I want to knock them on their ass. I finally did rise up against both of them. Scorpio moons mom is worse than the drug addict.

I valued myself enough to get out of the situation even though the emotional toll and the pain was great. As painful as anything I have ever had to move through. Its hard to raise a child from two weeks old, have enough of being treated like dirt and let go. While I am proud I was actually able to do it, its still painful at times. I miss the girls. But I don’t miss the abuse and unwanted drama.

It does not feel good to be used. And, its been hard for me to figure out how to avoid it. I have a Cancer asc. I am naturally going to want to nurture….but I have a Stellium in Scorpio and I am also naturally going to want to wound back when I am stabbed.

My mother was a really shitty mother. She was an addict. And, she beat the shit out of my sisters regularly. She needed help. I avoided most of the beatings because I was of value. My value was….I was raising her kids while she was drunk in the bed. She was not going to cut off the neck. The neck was necessary so the head could look like it was fully functional. I learned at 8 years old what my value was from that situation. And, I have not been able to shake it for the last 50 years. If I am doing something for you…. you will love me, and spare me pain. This has bled into every single relationship and situation all of my life. Just be a good girl.

I’m not slighting your caring, or saying you shouldn’t take it away. But the heart of that is lack of self worth, isn’t it? You have more to offer than sacrificing yourself. In the end, it breeds resentment (“all I’ve done for them”) even if you cut them off.

You hit the nail on the head!!!!! And, I thank you for taking the time to read all the nonsense I have written here over the years. It is absolutely about self worth. And, I do have more to offer than sacrificing myself. My ex husband loves our children but has never once been willing to sacrifice himself to keep them in his life. He just wont do it. He wont budge. If they refuse to come around for a month…he goes boating, or takes a trip haha… he has told me many times….tell them to kiss your ass, you are the mother, not their bank or personal slave. Make them come around for the right reason, not because you are doing a job for free for them. He said, you may not be included in the same ways, but you also will not feel the resentment that is eating you alive. He said one day….they are grown, let it go, and stop thinking the only value you have in their life is when you are doing something you absolutely should not be doing for an adult.

Now, I hate the Sag bastard lol  but he is right.

Its amazing to come to this place and work things out. I literally wanted to reach through the phone and rip her soul out. She was nasty, dirty, and ruthless. Cutting with insult after insult ….over ……wait for it…… dog hair hahahahahhaha and I was about to go there with her….over dog hair hahahahaha….. what was burning me alive just two days ago seems hilarious this morning. There has to be more going on with this woman. There has to be something really bad going on in her life for her to try to rip the heart of a person who has done nothing to her.

Thank you user!!!!!!!!!

I wish I knew every one of you IRL. You are the only sensible people I seem to know. And I realize, this is my fault.

I sure am grateful for you all.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 10:42 am
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Now that ive read more of the situation (her past attitude) and some responses, i have to mention that i in no way was saying that you had to put up with that type of treatment Soup! I realize now that my response may have been glib, sorry.

I just wanted to see you get to a place of peace with it and not exacerbate the stress it already caused you and i didnt think engagement was wise.

In my case, ive worked in a client based business for my whole adult life. At one point i decided that i wasnt going to work with anyone that i didnt have any genuine affection for. If i wasnt doing it out of love, then i wasnt going to do it. I cut a bunch of people loose, and they lived. I know you’re not full time anymore but i think these principles can be applied to everything. You dont need to support the world if its making you unhappy. It should feel good to give, and if it doesnt, then dont give. 

 

Eta: another thing i live by that allows me to never feel used is: i never give more than i can afford to lose. Its an energy thing and its worked wonders on the feeling used issue. 

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 10:59 am
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  I am telling you right now….. when Pluto is opposite the asc. you are going to have a rash of assholes cross your path and put you to the test….  immabout to FAIL A TEST lol 

Boy, do I get it. With Pluto square my Moon (the I want peace and tranquility Moon wink) and Uranus on my Rising, I’ve had it UP TO HERE with idiots.

That woman would have been watching her intestines spill out if it was me. You know I’ve been wanting to go Simba (The Lion King) on all the hyenas me and my daughters came across over the last year.  Aries/Leo doesn’t put up with that shit.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 1:21 pm
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Soup, I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Like you I take my work very seriously. You are a much bigger person than I as I would have gone straight to the jugular, short and sweet. A fast strike usually makes them back down and they just leave me alone.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 2:17 pm
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I agree with previous advice on ignoring her.

Ignore. Delete. Block. Problem solved.

How insensitive can you be to be an asshole to someone that is sick whose services you need?

 

I hope you are feeling better.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 4:43 pm
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KaD said
I would send the text, adding ‘You are NOT my client anymore’, then block her. Don’t get caught up in a shit throwing contest with a Scorpio psychopath. I’ve been there, done that and got a stroke for my efforts.   

omg seriously. That’s a good response, then she can be dead to you.

Fuck her.

I hope you’re feeling better, soup! This flu is so bad, it’s frightening.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 8:10 pm
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I’m sorry this happened to you, soup. 

Yestersay I’ll admit this post triggered me a bit, because I turned to ST after discussing the post with him and asked him, “Do I act like the nasty bitch she talks about? Am I like this with your caregivers?” He hesitated, and then said “…sometimes.” OMG. I may get frustrated when they call out, but I sure don’t send them texts like that. Whoo, they had no problem sending ST lengthy nastygrams, though! ALL CAPS, too.  (“ST the tracker has a crack in the Radiater but **** says he will bring me for 10$ but i dont have 10$ till tomorrow. Do you have 10$ till tomorrow? Son gets paid tomorrow and i can pay u back. If not i guess i can call work and see what a cab would be.

Ok . im TRUELY SO SORRY YOUR ALONE, BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT IM ALONE ALSO AND NOT JUST FOR A FEW HOURS BUT I TRUELY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE HAVE NO HELP FROM ANYONE!!!!!! ATLEAST YOU DO HAVE YOUR WIFE SOME OF THE TIME.
And i LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT IM STARTING TO FEEL EXTREMELY USED AND AT A VERY BAD TIME ON MY LIFE!!!!

IM WAY UNDER PAID!!! IM BEING MADE TO FEEL LIKE. YOUR MY RESPONSIBILITY!!! AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET ***** GO TILL WE HAD HELP CUZ I HAVE SO MUCH ON MY PLATE ST AND ITS LEGAL STUFF THATS OUT OF MY HANDS AND I COULD END UP IN JAIL!!!!! .”

(She said this after a rant about the crap she had to deal with from her husband that day. The man she keeps telling us she has to divorce, soon.)

That’s just a SMALL sample of the bullshit we get from them. And to be on the receiving end of that?? Made us feel like two worthless pieces of shit. It was like being slapped through the phone receiver–HARD. 😳😵   

Also, what user said about overextending yourself and all that? Yep. These caregivers will go above and beyond, then use that extra effort to bludgeon us over the head later with guilt, make us feel like tools if we set boundaries with them. (To be fair, we’ve overextended ourselves with them, too–allowed their dogs, kids, even hubbies to come over and stay all day. So it cuts both ways.) 

I know I just made this about me–sorry. embarassed   This post just really touched a nerve. If I were you, I’d cut this woman off. Freeze her out and make her dead to you. It’s one thing for her to be a bit put out, it’s quite another for her to shoot you poison posts. There’s no excuse for that.

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Monday, February 26, 2018 - 11:39 pm
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Oh Blue….honey the difference is the service you need is a life event. He has to have a caregiver. He desperately needs help to survive. When those people call off I am sure you cant even leave him alone. I would be pissed too. Real pissed. I mean, you have to be able to go to work. And, they have no business talking to him personally about their car problems or whatever…. I would never discuss that stuff with clients.

I just didn’t want to give a 60 something year old woman and her retired husband influenza B. Its bad…I am still coughing. I feel like a 1000 lbs is sitting on my chest.

This is dog hair. Not important at all.

I always have said this about my job….if they are in a hurry they waited WAY too long. No one should call a person a pile of shit over a dogs hair cut. She could take that dog to 35 different people locally. I am one in a whole list of them. Now, she will pay twice as much and, who knows how nice they are or how well they will do the job….but there are so many places she could go and….they might be closer to her than my house. Most of the people that come here are coming way out of their way. Even if she had shown aggravation it wouldn’t have been as bad as that text. She said things to me that I didn’t understand as I am not close to her or have any kind of personal relationship with her that she would know me in the way she was speaking. I would say good morning to her husband. Ask what time he was picking up and call him when I was done. I think she came to my house once. And, the conversation was pleasant and the dog was great and looked great. I was completely confused. It was as if she was mad at someone….and the things she was saying were meant for someone she knew really well.

I would think the caregivers he has are with him for hours every day…so maybe they feel comfortable speaking with him personally (even though they shouldn’t) I am sorry you go through that. It has to be a nightmare xoxoxoxo

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Wednesday, May 16, 2018 - 10:37 am
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This was 3 months ago.

I didn’t respond to her.

I heard (through someone that knows her) that she is livid with the person she is using now.

That is all I needed to hear. The universe deals with this stuff. I didn’t have to say a thing. (although I sure hope that sweet dog is being treated well. I did love that little guy cry)

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