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anonymoushermit
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I once tried to get a therapist trying to control the sessions, LMAO. There has to be a certain trust and loosening up of control if you want to get help from a therapist.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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I hope your therapist will ask you why you fear being perceived as mean or provoking conflict, and helps you understand the root of it, see it for what it is, disarm it, dismantle it, overcome it, and banish it forever. 

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Kleo2
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anonymoushermit said
I once tried to get a therapist trying to control the sessions, LMAO. There has to be a certain trust and loosening up of control if you want to get help from a therapist.

  

Who was trying to control the sessions? The therapist or you? Because today she wanted to do an exercise of relaxation and I just didn't feel like doing it, I was in such a bad mood and I just wanted to talk and hear her perspective on what I was saying. 

And now I was wondering if I am trying to control the session by wanting to go into subjects that bother me then or if I should let the therapist prepare the session how she finds it fit. My "issue" is I don't relate to imagery exercises etc. She told me I am tense and I am deconnected to my body and that is why I can't do these types of exercises. But I just don't knoe what to believe. I mean, maybe some people are just not the kind to do relaxing exercises

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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An analyst or analytical therapist will help you get to the root of the problem. The la-la-la feel good types probably won't. 

It's your dime and your time, go in and tell the therapist what you need. If you don't, who will? You can say it just like that, "I need you to..."

And if they can't or won't, find one who will. Right there's your first exercise in asserting your rights.

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Opalina
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Yes in my 30s I went for a short time. I had 2 different therapists.

For my own personal problems I found that support groups actually helped me more than therapists. I look at therapist as expensive sounding boards. I never actually received any more help than what a good book did.

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Soph-tee-clees
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I feel sometimes I am a bit too mad for therapy.

I did try three times, and was evaluated a few more times.

One time I was just too tense and paranoid. I had this feeling that if I had a bad feeling I had to hold onto it so I could tell the therapist and this became a real fixation. I kept phoning to cancel then trying to do them again. But the therapist was a friends father that was getting old and there were communication problems with the session. He used to do this thing that I thought was obviously his habit to keep his customers coming where at the end he would get into the issue properly and the connection would finally be formed then he would break it off.

The second time was many times more weird than that. I don't even feel comfortable describing the thoughts I was having. I compulsively had to cancel.

I feel a problem I have with them is that I need someone that is fairly controlling, or perhaps has a lot of academic understanding of psychology. Like, when I spout off my own ideas it seems to lead into a kind of madness and I emotionally overwhelm the therapist (even though they wouldn't admit it). So I would prefer him/ her to direct the session.

I may be a little better on money soon which is why this has come up, tax break. On the day when Saturn went retrograde I had a panic attack because a young girl was being too flirtateous and sweet... That was it! That was the only thing that laid me on the pavement for about three hours.

That is not the case with every girl but my last workplace used to do this game where after weeks and months of a girl provoking, when I finally responded they would say I was stalking the girl, and that's where the fear comes from... The manager eventually caught on and refused to deal with this (after a girl cried wolf but I had email correspondence proving she had been previously far more positive) so that is not a delusional idea of mine.

The last woman I was talking to about therapy that had a few academic qualifications said something like she wanted to make sure I wanted to do it because 'endings can be hard' and it 'didn't sound like I got on well with my last therapist'. Which is good. It means she was intending to really 'take the bull by the horns' so to speak. Not a great metaphor really.

The one worry I have is that they might be too left wing. Left wing people tend to have this idea that the woman is always right. I saw on an internet therapists facebook that I follow that she had decided to always believe the woman in rape cases and so Trump's accusers must be correct. I'm willing to let that goin that case but I think it could be a potential point of difference, a lot of therapists are left leaning.

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