Will I ever get married? ( I'm not interested in any relationship since a few years)
i wrote here a few months ago saying that i was quite stuck in life, didnt know how to handle life, work and etc. Since that time some things changed, i moved in life, progressed in it when it comes to career, education , new people and etc. Im kind of fulfilled. I just focused on my goal and did what i wanted. Nothing disturbed me.
The whole pandemics last and this year made me think of myself more as an individual unit. I am not a people pleaser anymore. I almost have no friends , i spend time alone after work or with my family ( sister, parents) or some random friends who are in the same 'life' situation as me. It suits me and i am in a comfort zone of being alone, doing my thing, working, and being happy in life. This alone-time helps me to slow down and meditate mentally. before i was surrounded by many drama and oud friends who were absorbing my energy. But i let them go.
It sounds great but i am no longer interested in any relationship. MOREOVER!!! What happened is that when i completly shut down from people in social media, when i quit and refuse meetings with people ( group of friends or individual) people want to spend time more with me and its them who initiate contact with me! The more i hide and focus on myself the more men ( my male friends ) start to be interested in me. And i dont know what to do.
In the past i was kind of a people pleaser. I wanted to be in a relationship but everytime there was something happening i was failing. Men didnt want me, male friends were not choosing me as a girlfriend or even some sex friend because of 'something'. There was always 'something' that they were deciding to quit the relation. Since that time or maybe 2018 i am no longer in any relationship. I have completly changed, when it comes to my appearance, my looks, way of living, my attidute and etc. BUT i pushed those people from the past away. Im not longer interested but they start to be interested in me! AGAIN! On other terms! Its like this weird circle of a cindarella.
BUt I do not have any urge to be in a relationship. Or even to DATE. Sometimes i am afraid of myself because i can be seen as asexual. I am not asexual but i am not searching for anyone now. I dont know how to search for someone and how to communicate the world i am single and maybe i would like to be with someone in the future. Im getting older, im 31 but look way more younger than it was 5 -6 years ago. Im more matured, grounded, my Capricorn moon did its job and helped me ground myself. But somehow i feel blocked and i cant express my emotions, im heartless and sometimes cold. I do not operate on emotional level. Only to some close people as family or sister.
I'm afraid i will not have anyone and i will get older without children and etc. I want to have children in the future but i dont wanna be desperate and only catch a guy to have a child....
What do you see in my chart? WIll i have someone, ? Will I get married in future? I know i am a late boomer, but maybe i will have someone?
Saturn is transiting into your 7th house. You will be working on relationships for the next 2.5 years. Your feelings at this time are completely normal. You're right on schedule, wrapping up you 6th house, behinds the scenes work to do!
It sounds like you are living proof of the law of attraction. You let go of the very idea of having romantic relationships, only to have those relationships start coming to you. Who knows, when your Saturn position changes, those people who have been coming to you may be suitors.
"But somehow i feel blocked and i cant express my emotions, im heartless and sometimes cold."
I'm curious how this perception of yourself really does play out. You may see yourself to be this sort of person if you head, but is that really what people see on the outside? Have people said this about you before and that's how you know?