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Transit Pluto square natal Mercury - grief?


Plutolover
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Hey, everyone, hope you are all well!

Has anyone experienced transit Pluto square their natal Mercury? It's just coming into orb for me and I seem to be falling to pieces. I've read this transit more than likely will transform the way you think, communicate etc, but after 12 months of awful experiences, all I seem to be feeling is grief (I am normally very strong in the face of adversity - I feel it strengthens my resolve).

The only other major transit I have is Uranus just passing my IC, and I can certainly feel its' effects - losing my home of 20 years, beloved critters dying, basically everything that makes 'home' is disappearing fast, but I am coming to terms with that.

Is this just a cumulative effect, or is Pluto pulling at my heartstrings? In all honesty, I have never felt this bleak, and as a Sun conjunct Pluto native, this is baffling to me 😬 

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jana
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I had Pluto squaring a 4 planet stellium with Mercury being the last planet. It was the worst of the 4 that it squared. I think it brought all the other aspects "to mind". Pluto is subterranean but when it hits Mercury things that were happening under the surface erupted. Therapy helped me. 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I'm sending my best wishes. 

 

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Plutolover
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@jana  Thank you ❤️ 

This is very interesting, as Mercury is the last planet in my Libra stellium, and I had wondered how I had got off so 'lightly'. Thanks for your insight, it's given me much to mull over!

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Elsa
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I had Pluto in Capricorn square my Mercury in Libra. It was horrible.  Shadow side of gossip... harm to my reputation. Unrecoverable... for years or maybe you never recover.

Possible doom thinking. Deep conversation... but really, the Libra part was the main focus.  Social death and I mean, stomped on and ground down into the dirt.

I also hobbled around at this time. I was crippled... Mercury rules walking.

I could on but let's just say it was very slow, very deep and very painful.  It did change me. I rarely socialize anymore. My Mercury is conjunct Mars and I'm just sick of pulling knives out of my back.

Really good thread. Thank you.

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Plutolover
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@elsa oh my gosh, you mention harm to your reputation....yes, I can attest to that, I am now a social leper within my circle, just for standing up for myself,

And yes, to hobbling, for weeks now, I have had nerve pain so bad, it's affecting the way I walk. Crazy, I never anticipated the effects this transit is having on me.

I would like to think I will recover, but my wish right now is to live hidden away, deep in the countryside with no other company apart from my immediate family and nature.

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canscocappy
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@elsa I faced the opposition between trPluto and my natal Mercury in Cancer, which got exact in 2015. In the 2 years before it, I had 2 suicide attempts as I was tolerating a lot of verbal abuse from my ex's parents. However, I was also becoming an estimated speaker in my field, and in 2015 I talked in a conference in the University of Edinburgh, traveling for the first time abroad. It was the experience that gave me the strength to speak up. After realizing the potential that was shining before me, I packed up my things and left. However, due to my family's pleas I reunited with my ex before my letting him dump me for good in 2017 so as to make him think it was his own decision and not mine (in the past, he threatened to commit suicide... classic manipulative behavior!). He had had enough of my numerous infidelities, but it's not like I was trying that much to hide them.

Before my dating others, I was being called names by his parents and siblings, slandered far and wide, that I was 'too short for him' and all that jazz. Since he lives at least 4 hours away from me, I don't even go by his village anymore. However, since my mother hails from a village that is close to his, she learns what is being said about me: under the Pluto transiting my natal Ascendant, everyone wants to be my friend and my ex has been ostracized from them. Guess I won? I don't care. I only visit my mother's village in the summer, and due to the pandemic, I haven't even been there since last year. I don't deserve those people, and, above all, they don't deserve me. 😉

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Elsa
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@canscocappy sounds painful but necessary and ultimately fruitful. I can relate.

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canscocappy
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@elsa It was worth it to a T. The ultimate takeaway from this experience was that I have to give way more credit to my Moon conj Pluto in Scorpio. I was wary of ever dating this man, and I had to listen. With my current partner, I felt very quickly at ease. My instinct seems to have been right so far.

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BellaDonna
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I had Pluto and Saturn squaring Mercury in my 6th. I was a foreigner working outside of my home country and had a jealous co-worker that was out to get me, gossiped behind my back. It made it very difficult as I was already odd-person out and was trying my absolute best, but she was determined to tarnish me. I was very lonely, isolated in a neighborhood that I didn't like... no friends, no social life. I was forced to be alone with my thoughts and was heartbroken by a man from the town I left to come to this job. I struggled mentally to make closure and you'd think this sort of space (with no distractions) would accelerate the process, but it felt very dragged out & like a sort of mental prison. It was a really weird, difficult year. As a creative person, I was super stifled and didn't have the outlet to rely on as usual. Oddly the pandemic lifted me out of it and gave me an excuse to leave the job early to go back home. I felt like I had already been in quarantine for 6mo. so for me, it didn't feel any different. In fact, I was just grateful to be home. 

Honestly, I got used to the energy eventually, and by the time they were moving off of my Mercury, I was already in a much better place. Plus Ive had Neptune Saturn to contend with so I didnt notice its effects much anymore. 

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BellaDonna
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I would say this taught me a lot about my resilience, but I will also say... I was a little traumatized by the isolation - the way that everyone speaks about quarantine doing so... it was already like that for me 6-8mo prior (the only diff being that I did at least have work to go to, but I was totally miserable & went home alone every single day afterward to be alone in my mental hell)... so by the time I was able to get out and socialize... I felt like a wild animal that had been caged and almost frozen when the door lifted. I lost my instinct for freedom and was very jaded. Instead of running for the hills, I was barely putting my toe in the water. I truly just didn't know how to operate anymore like a normal social being. It was bizarre. I almost don't even know how to explain the effects. Basically, it is reflective of the mental prison I was still in and didn't know how to fully get out of... I didn't know if I'd ever be the same again - the fun fiery flirty lady, full of life - and it was scary. 

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Plutolover
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@belladonna This sounds really hard ❤️ 

I can relate in a way - the pandemic didn't really affect me at all, as I was already 'undercover' and left to my own devices.

Sheesh, this is one transit and a half!

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