The Worst Year of Your Life
There is some one near to me, he's having the worst year of his life, I think. I don't know this. But I know him and I know the look on his face. I know he's losing his best friend in the world, who is also a family member (by marriage). I know he is in excruciating pain.
I am so afraid I will do or say something that will harm him in even in the tiniest way... the minutest way you could possibly imagine. I am telling you, I am mortally afraid of this and now, crying as I type. So I just don't want to add to his burden and there is virtually nothing I can do but not add to it and I am living like this right now.
So I was outside; I can feel the waves of pain, because I am like that. And it hit me, what the fuck is wrong with people who kick people when they're down. Seriously, what is it?
It is hubris?
Don't you know, your turn will come?
Do you remember the worst year of your life? Did you have someone take care around you? Show you this respect?
Did you have someone take the opportunity to stomp your guts out?
What do you make of these situations? Does extreme pain bring extreme reaction in either direction?
Don't forget envy. When someone is riding high for too long and 'too successful' for too long, the cockroaches come out to play.
One of my favorite quotes is, Don't assume malice, when ignorance will suffice. So my vote is ignorance.
Funny you mention this, as it's been on my mind lately, and frequently is.
One of the things that's hurt me most in the past is when someone thinks my pain is the only thing that makes me human (that anyone's pain is the only thing that makes them human). My pain can be very heavy, so I often keep it private from most. I don't want to burden people. Earlier this year, an instructor privately told me I looked like all I wanted to do was be in bed (even my presence felt burdensome then, and she was not being mean, just worried about me. There's also the feeling of not wanting to be treated with kid-gloves after awhile, which a lot of grieving people eventually experience. It's a fine line.). I've had people try to break me because they don't think I can, or they wait to see that I can break, before they let off and feel bad, or try to befriend me--like, oh, my bad, now I know you're a human with feelings.
We often aren't aware of other people's pain, but that doesn't mean it's not there. We should take care with people whose pain is visible to us, but we shouldn't assume pain isn't there if we don't see it. At least that's what I aspire to. I think I'm ok with this more often than not, but always look to improve where I can.
Some times are definitely harder than others and call for more sensitivity, but I kind of think that if you're alive, you're going through something (by which I mean, why not at least try to be as easy as we can on everyone, all the time. And of course, we all make mistakes). Life is lots of great things, but it's hard on all of us.
Ive had many difficult years. I can’t say that I’ve actually had any easy years, but yes, some were more acute. During those, I was shunned,degraded, used, preyed upon, targeted and abused. I was also shown extreme kindness by those who were capable.
I think it has to do with the level of consciousness vs unconsciousness in the person kicking. I actually think many have gone through hardships, but they just haven’t integrated that pain in some healthy way.
I can see now that they were really miserable and ALWAYS felt powerless in their own lives. Picking on me helped them to feel more powerful. The bully is always bullied by someone else. These are people who can’t be vulnerable in their own lives, and when they see vulnerability in someone else they delight in exploiting it for their entertainment. It is a psychopathic energy, although I don’t know that everyone who exhibits this is completely incapable of love like a psychopath. Its kind of a specialized psychopathy. It only comes out when triggered.
I don’t think its people whove had ease who are like this. They are the ones that will be apathetic or will abandon. They don’t outright condemn.
It seems that the ones who show kindness are the ones who’ve transmuted their pain and used it to grow.
As far as the phenomenon, I think life offers us symbols or pointers in the form of people. These people can show us what needs to be healed by their cruelty. If there wasn’t a wound they wouldn’t be able to stick a finger in it and wiggle it around. So they offer catalyst. It doesn’t mean that they are conscious of it. I think Life often uses the unconsciousness of others to serve the higher good. And it doesn’t mean that they don’t incur their own karma. But karma ultimately serves that same purpose, which is to expand awareness.
Libra Noir said
Ive had many difficult years. I can’t say that I’ve actually had any easy years, but yes, some were more acute. During those, I was shunned,degraded, used, preyed upon, targeted and abused.
Ditto. I can't decide which one was the hardest
Elsa, from my experience of being in a similar place like that person you know, next time you see him in person - even if you have to engineer a reason to meet - take his hand, and give a gentle squeeze.
Huge kudos to you, for being so sensitive.