Need advice regardi...
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Need advice regarding Job

Posts: 163
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Joined: 7 years ago

Hi everyone,

Here I am again 🥴

I don’t know if it’s Neptune squaring my mars. Since that has to do with my 6th and 9th.

but I’m growing uncomfortable every day.

I started working for my friend as I told in an earlier post. 
we are now almost 2 months further. But I noticed that she doesn’t get much orders. I spoke to the company’s where she gets her courses from. And they told me that that company never sold much in the past.

I worked on her website, but she doesn’t understand that your website much rank in Google in order to be found. Nor does she wants to invest in it. I can write all I want , but the competition she’s facing in that line of work is brutal. So I suggested she could look at Google ads. But again no she doesn’t want to invest in it. 
Furthermore her website was build complicated, the webdesigner did that , so for every edit that they need to do, that they have to contact the webdesigner and so he gets paid lots and lots of money . 

So in editing my hands are tied. If I’m honest , she could sell first aid courses more, but she needs to invest . For now it’s too expensive to let me do the work, since she barely makes money with it. 
she has her fulltime job as a teacher , her husband works fulltime too. So they want me to run it. 
Today she said that she wants me be to become a freelancer, in order for her to get tax reduction and stuff. Hiring me as an employee is too expensive.

I get that, since there’s not a lot sales. 
I started this because she told me that the company made a lot of money.  While I hear and see that that’s not the case.

I don’t want to become a freelancer, I just want to work for a boss. And have a stable income. And working as a freelancer won’t give me the stable income. And I would have to fill in monthly paperwork to the IRS, and have to pay other costs like for healthcare insurance for freelancers.

That would mean she has to pay me way more than she does now, and she doesn’t make the money for it. 

I feel blocked. But I’m certain I just don’t want to work like that. I had a lot of work the past week, rewriting, and filling in data. But that comes to an end soon. After that’s done, I don’t expect to have much work. 

the company receives like 5 calls a week. There are clients with questions but that’s not much. 
I feel that I don’t want to wait if there comes more work. I need the stable income. They don’t offer help, I have to figure out everything on my own. Because they are too busy. And it doesn’t feel good or right. I love my friend. But I think she’s under Neptunes fog too. Neptune is now almost exact her Midheaven Pisces 25 degrees. 

What should i do ? Am I selfish that I don’t want to become a freelancer? Because I would do it for her , in order for her to pay less tax.

I hope I explained myself right , since I’m Dutch and not always know the right words for a sentence. 

Thank you for reading this 



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Posts: 4470
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Dahlia, this does not sound workable to me. You both want to control the other. Neither of you are going to allow it. Unless that changes, this is a dead end.


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Joined: 7 years ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 163

@elsa i don’t think I’m controlling her. And don’t mean to, but she leaves everything to me. While at first she said I had to do administrative work. Taking calls and emails. And rewrite articles. But I do everything, running her accountantsoftware and paying bills. I don’t mind doing more. But she doesn’t want to hire me. But wants me to work for myself while I see that there’s not a lot work . She said hiring me would cost her too much . And if I work freelance she would have tax deductions. 
It feels the same as with my brother. Giving me all the reins, letting me run everything but not wanting to pay me properly . I don’t have to get rich. I only want a stable income with stable hours. Not if there’s work I pay , and if there is not I won’t . I notice that there are not many calls or emails. So if I work freelance she can say: o that’s tough luck. And just deal with it? 
And I suggested things about her website because she lies the viability of her company in my hands . I told her I’m not superwoman. I can’t make the sales magically rise up. 

So no this won’t work out in the end. Another lesson learned I guess. 
Thank you for reading Elsa 

Posts: 253
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Joined: 8 years ago

You don’t sound selfish to me. Quite the opposite. If your friend is unable/unwilling to invest more, it seems unreasonable that she want or expect that from you. Especially if she’s unable to pay your expected wage, or what you minimally need to live and devote yourself as a true professional to her project. I’m sure it’s a complicated situation, but it sounds like she’s asking a lot from you without really being able to offer anything in return. I’ve seen business endeavors get really sticky when friends are involved, and it’s probably something I would avoid altogether, though that’s me. I think it’s admirable you wanted to join her on this project, and even more so that you’ve already suggested other solutions, but the reality or success of her business can’t be put solely on your shoulders. I would bow out, hoping that my friend would be understanding of all the points above.

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Joined: 7 years ago

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Posts: 163

@buendia Thank you Buendia. Pff this is difficult, I’m up at 4 am because of it. 

it gives me stress and that’s the last thing that I want. I had that working for my brother for more than 10’years. I need to learn to keep up my boundaries. I love my friend she’s very nice. 

but this isn’t good. Working as a freelancer no work no pay. I don’t want to settle for that. As a freelancer I have to search more projects from other companies to be able to work as a freelancer. And I didn’t sign up for that. I understand she needs tax deductions. But she and her husband earn a lot of money and I don’t. I think it doesn’t add up. Me becoming an entrepreneur to lead someone else’s company. 
She’s too busy to understand her own company and wants me to take charge. Promising me the moon and the stars . But until these moon and stars arrive I’m left alone to fend for myself. 
I don’t want the responsibility to run a company, did that and I ended up burned out. Feeling responsibility while my brother who I worked for never took it. So I’ve been there and don’t want that. 

Just a steady job with steady income. She has that already, for her it’s extra pocket money. She has high expectations of that company , while that’s not reasonable. If I wanted to work as an entrepreneur i would have started my own company.But that’s not my dream. 
Too many things i run into. While she wants me to take care of it all. I can’t do it on my own nor do I want to. 

She’s on holiday, when she returns I will tell her that I don’t want to become a freelancer . And that i quit. Don’t want to lose a friendship over this. 

Thank you Buendia for listening 


Posts: 580
Reputable Member
Joined: 6 years ago

I would get out of this situation as soon as possible. You've worked out quickly that it's not viable without investment, she doesn't want to invest. You have energy, gifts and capabilities, she isn't able to acknowledge those by investing, more she trying to get money for nothing. You're dealing with a mindset that isn't right for you. You can find the job you need that is right for you and get paid well, you know now exactly what you're looking for. 

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Joined: 7 years ago

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Posts: 163

@sophiab Thanks Sophia, my bf said the same. we got a fight over it. He said you again jump at every whim. Never say no , while different demands have been put on you. No working in, just find out yourself. I can as much as I’m able. And it began growing a week ago, while she nicely demands more. O you can do that, your the best , no need to Invest in that. But I told her: no I can’t. Technical errors on the website and webshop, you can do that. My bf said she’s wooing you. But at the same time she says, you do it and i pay you for it. And now she begins to see that it’s not raining orders from customers. Again I’m beginning to feel small, and I don’t like that feeling. That’s what I’ve always done, keeping myself small in order for another to grow. 

at the start of this I asked her if she could afford to take me on. Since I know that if your company depends on orders online like my sibling did, that it can be very uncertain at times. She assured me that she could . And I believed her because she and her husband make more than enough to come by . 
now since working in January for her. I notice that it’s not busy at all. So I told her that, she ignores my concerns. So last week I said to her , the way it’s going now Im too expensive for you. This should be runned by the owner itself as a side-hussle. Again she laughs it away. 
its her Sag sun she’s always been very easygoing. But now at my expense.


my bf said, you don’t ( excuse my English not natal language) build up pension accruals, nor do you earn the right for sick leave, nor vacation money, and nor unemployment money. You are on your own. 
when he said that I had to agree. 
he said how nice is she now to you? I’m sure she likes and love you, but she loves her money also. And it’s not in your best interest like she says she does. 

So he’s right and you are right. I need to get out of this. 
I learned to work with other programs now , so I see that as positive! And at least I have my confidence back that indeed I am capable. But not at my own expense. I deserve better than this.


Thank you Sophia ❤️