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Moon and Mother relationship
How does your moon sign and house position do you feel reflect the relationship with your mother?
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mister_hwang
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Sunday, January 8, 2017 - 10:51 am
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My mom is a foreigner (sagittarius) who moved away from all her family to be alone (12th house) and marry my dad. My mother would always preach me about things as a child but was at the same time very secretive with her true feelings. I feel this part has greatly impacted my own instinctual compulsions. Care to share? I know this can be pretty personal but I thought it might be helpful. 

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Sunday, January 8, 2017 - 11:23 am
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I have an 11th Libra moon, and by far, most interactions with my mother were emotionally detached ones focused upon artistic expressions that she was making that pertained to giving them to a wider audience outside the home and wanted my assistance with or with showing appreciation and encouragement for me to do the same with mine.

My Moon is conjunct Venus/Mercury/Pluto, semisquare Jupiter, and quincunx Chiron, though, so reflections upon the sign and house of my Moon barely scratch the surface.

Her Capricorn Moon was the only placement either of my parents put below my horizon.

A profound truth stated to me several months ago ado with what the mentally ill need being love and compassion struck a pretty deep chord because my father has said those words, 'I love you', less than a handful of times in my life and only as a response to me expressing it first.  The only times my mother ever said it was when I was grossly failing at meeting their expectations of me to be a responsible, law-abiding, constructive member of society.

By and large, those one may expect to be the greatest source of love and compassion in life are and were for me the greatest source of negative criticism.

It's a common thread throughout my life, that others are unable to perceive what I need to feel fulfilled or accepted in life despite the plethora of ways I try to make bids for it from others until I am so imbalanced or upset about it that it comes out as rage against the lack of it, which has only served to negatively reinforce the compulsive behavior of keeping the pain bottled up until it boils over.

Don't get me wrong, I have no hate or resentment at all towards either of my parents whatsoever and could fill volumes with everything I am appreciate of they did and that my father continues to do for me, but that doesn't mean I can't rationally self-reflect within the context of instinctual compulsions as a result of childhood and early adulthood dynamics in the relationships with them.

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Sunday, January 8, 2017 - 5:32 pm
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10th house Scorpio moon. Extremely antagonistic, emotionally violent relationship with Capricorn sun and moon mother. 

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Sunday, January 8, 2017 - 6:16 pm
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My Gemini mom has an eighth house Aquarius moon. I'm an Aquarian with a first house Virgo moon. My moon squares Neptune in the fourth tight, trines Mars in the fifth, opposes Mercury in the seventh and squares Saturn in the tenth. My relationship with my mom has been extremely complicated and challenging. I made her cry on the phone a couple of days ago over a stupid Ulta gift card. Long story. I don't think there will ever be resolution, peace, understanding between us. She texted me a few days ago that she doesn't know how I've survived depression all my life. She's getting a taste of it now and is at a loss. I told her the meds never helped. I've stayed alive because of books, art, creativity. I'm eating well. Meditating. Exercising. She doesn't value my advice. If it weren't for my son we wouldn't communicate at all.

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Monday, January 9, 2017 - 6:26 am
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I have a 4th house Aqua Moon, my mother 4th house Cap Moon, not sure how that affects things, except perhaps by Cap being (normally) a fairly strict sign.

But her Moon is exactly opposite my Venus, which also happens to be my "worst" planet (having only one aspect in natel - square Neptune), so perhaps her Moon opposition didn't help, in fact probably made things worse...

The relationship with my mother was awkward. I always felt I wasn't up to whatever she expected of me (I don't know what) and feeling negatively judged by her. I felt any expression of feminity on my part was considered wrong. Consequently, I've never felt at ease with my feminin self, thereby "sub stardard" to other girls/women and of course below shit in relation to men.

Yeah, that Venus is really the pits. Luckily my Moon in Aqua probably cools the emotions.

Both my mother and I have Pluto opposite Moon. I do think she didn't like herself and this somehow resonated in me - not crazy about myself either!

Mostly none of this was expressed openly, it was more like a spook. You feel like shit, but you dont know why. 

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Monday, January 9, 2017 - 8:43 am
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I think your moon can be how you perceive your mother (primary caretaker). I have Virgo moon in the first. I always felt my mother was so very critical of me. She was always correcting me, she would hover and comment when I cooked or baked, cleaned my room. I often believed the same things she did, because I thought I was supposed to and that she would like me. 

This was my perception and reaction to her. I had to grow apart from that to see that her Cancer moon just wanted to nurture and pass on the things she knew. 

What's interesting is that she has Pluto conjunct her ascendant. I am moon Pluto conjunct. My brother has an 8th house moon. 

I think the most important thing is to acknowledge that it could be how you perceived her and not be bound to it (if it's hurting you as an adult). I have moved past most of it, although not all. Not sure if maybe that is my own Pluto...so I'm not done yet 😃

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Monday, January 9, 2017 - 4:12 pm
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mister_hwang said
My mom is a foreigner (sagittarius) 

I have Sagittarius moon too. My mother was a traveler, and a foreigner. She grew up an tomboy who rode horses in rural US. Enough of a Sagittarian archetype.

Strange enough, I knew somebody with the exact same degree Sag moon.
His mother was also an equestrian woman from poor family who travelled and, like my mom, had children in another country.  Finding people with the same degree Moon and exploring that is fun.

Our mothers we experienced as temperamental women who valued their independence; overgrown tomboys. They were known to rave about how their own children were a limit to their personal freedom. My mom is a bigtime (or big mouth to some!) feminist and academic who was always very vocal about politics, or a funny joke she heard, you name it. Another Sag woman trope.

I also have Gemini Mars opposition to Moon: intimacy = incessant bickering, insults
Sag Moon (exact) trine Jupiter in Leo: She is domineering force in my life, my fire trine is where I draw strength and magnanimity and a degree of feminine chauvinism that is hereditary in this case. We are loud, proud women.

My Moon is in 2nd, and I would say this points to a mother who directly shaped your moral and intellectual value system most of all.
Moon in 2nd +  grand trine in air Aquarius mother = a double whammy of the parent putting her head on childs shoulders. 

My other 2 siblings have Taurean moons.
They have experienced her as a tenacious, generous, "dont mess with me" Earth Mother.
They have a real knack for seeing and relating to her instincts rather than ideas and philosophical ruminations.
In turn, their relationship with her is less antagonistic than mine. Moon is natural in feminine signs.

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Monday, January 9, 2017 - 11:24 pm
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My Mom has Cancer Sun, Libra Moon oppossite my Aries Moon in the 12th. I've heard that this house position is complicated for the relationship with the mother. My mom was always very tender, nurturing, a bit over-protective. But when it came to comforting me emotionally she was at a loss (I've only seen her "cry" -her eyes teared up- once in my whole life). I guess that's why she tried to comfort me with food, as a result I was an overweight child and had an addiction to food that I thankfully overcame.

In my teens I started to need more independence, which was really hard for her to accept. Sometimes I have acted as the mother too, in our relationship. My mom has Saturn Retrograde in Pisces just like me, hers is in opposition to Uranus and Pluto, mine is in opposition to Sun and Mercury. She definitely worries too much, and is kind of a hoarder, it gives her a sense of security.

Even though I get along better with my mom now, most of the time it's all "butterflies and rainbows", and there's no better feeling than when I'm in good terms with her; during my teens our relationship was very strained. I had a lot of frustrating arguments with her (she has mars-venus closely conjunct in gemini, while I have mars in cancer), left the house several times (only to come back for some reason). I have always been more compatible with my dad, personality-wise.

 

Edit: if her birth time is correct, her moon is also in the 12th house which makes it more interesting.

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Tuesday, January 10, 2017 - 12:17 am
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My Moon is in Gemini, conjuct my Venus in Cancer (opposed to Saturn, as well as aspecting almost everything in my chart, and, chart ruler). I recently learned, asteroid Hephaestus - blacksmith - in Gemini, falls in the middle of this conjunction.

My sweetheart of a mother has a Pisces Venus, and Capricorn Moon (motherhood is serious in importance for her, and her capacity to love reaches unbelievable depths). When she and I hit a wall of mutual incomprehension, when I was in my late teen years, she enrolled in reputable classes (here, in Quebec, province in Canada, there were a great many garbage - less than worthless, worse than stupid - "classes" on offer, at the time) to learn to relate in ways that true communication was possible.

My Moon in Gemini, my mother's Moon in Capricorn (plus, my chart ruler, Venus, in Cancer): conversations with my mother are gold in the bank, for me. When I was small, she understood what I meant... as she has told me, older. When her fears for me prevented that, she worked hard, and paid for workshops, to develop her scope for understanding herself and others. Fantastic investment, to the benefit of herself and everyone she knows, or meets.

I have 9th house Moon: I can thank my mother, that I love good stories (literature, in written or oral form). She has always encouraged me to stretch my wings... which contradiction (unreasonable fears) led her to expand her own understanding of herself and everyone (supported by her Pisces Venus values).

My Gemini AC brother has zero knowledge of astrology... only, he has a high degree of insight (& intuition). He does have a huge capacity for understanding the framework of astrology, easily, when it's pertinent. In a conversation we shared, he said he thinks it's very likely, that our mother, too, has Gemini AC. For many reasons, I also suspect so.

Back to the topic at hand: no one on earth has understood the ins and outs of my 3rd house Saturn function (key, because opposing, always, my chart ruler, Venus in Cancer in 9th house, which, again, asoects almost everything in my chart!) than my mother does, and has shown she does, by what she said to me.

My biggest heritage from my mom, is from her Piscean Venus: bright shining star, evening or morning, by turns... love, distilled, for every time.

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Tuesday, January 10, 2017 - 8:52 am
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These moon and mother stories are great. It's fascinating to see our perceptions. It also shows us that our mothers, while life-giving, also deal with their own moons, as we do ours. 🌙

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017 - 6:27 pm
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I have a 10 house Taurus moon in opposition to my sun, Venus, Jupiter, Neptune in the 4th.

My mother has 4 Cancer planets in the 6th and 3 Taurus planets in the 4th. What's left really....she is all stelliums.... but, I see her as STUBBORN....and to her detriment too.

My Mother's moon is in my 8th house. And her Cancer stellium on my asc.

She drives me bat shit crazy. Still, even though she was as nutty as a fruitcake I loved her deeply ...I was just crazy about her. She was so young when she had me.

It took me a long time to get past some of her shenanigans....but I am past it all. I really love the shit out of that crazy gal. And you know what....she loves the shit out of me. The past...its just the past. I am just glad she is still around. You mess with soup....well her crazy Cancer stellium mother will come to town and beat you with a walker lol

Turns out, she is my biggest fan. Too bad I didn't realize that earlier. Man, a person can really waste time being pissed over things that are long over.  

My best friend lost her mother today. I am especially grateful for her right now

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017 - 9:53 pm
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One of the hardest things to deal with for me was that my extremely intelligent mom, who could be the soul of compassion for others and the first person to speak up for any underdog, CHOSE to be cruel to me. And enjoyed it. 

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017 - 9:55 pm
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My mother died when I was 30 but some level I feel I grew up without one. I just lived with a woman who would have been so joyful had I only been someone else. 

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017 - 10:32 pm
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My scorpio moon is in the eleventh house and opposes my mother's Taurus sun and moon. We don't really relate:) I've found that if I keep it light she seems a lot more comfortable with me. She's not open to hearing my innermost stuff. She shows love through money. I didnt realize that until adulthood. Shes betrayed me a few times. It's taken me a long time to accept her for who she is. She's an alcoholic. Has been drinking heavily for most of my life. Detaching from all of that has been challenging, but not as hard as living in that misery cycle with her. Now I just have my own misery cycle to deal with:) Our relationship is better than its been since I was eight or so. It might not seem great to an outsider. It's not perfect but I'm still grateful. I'm hoping that my son will give me the same compassion and loyalty that I'm giving her. And I hope she knows that I appreciate her. 

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017 - 10:46 pm
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ScottishFoldSoul, just now, reading that, I thought, "Maybe. Maybe not. (Someone who gets a kick out of hating... could be, she'd have been hateful to whomever was there. Seems more likely to me.)

Consider this. If it wasn't personal - which is awful in itself - if she'd have behaved as reprehensibly to anyone close enough for her to scapegoat - then nothing you could have done, or "been" wouldn't have changed how she gave herself to acting to you. In fact, I suspect that at various times, you did accomodate yourself to her, many different ways. Also, unless she was truly heartless (i.e. faking toward other people) there's a possibility that in some small, walled off corner of her heart, that she was grateful you were there... Some people (I don't know why) don't say so, unless speaking to someone outside their sphere. Some, not even then. confused

I'm so sorry. Warm wishes to you for nurturing, caring people along your path in this new year. heart You know, walking in the park, taking time to explore the vegetables that inspire your senses in the market or produce store... places where it's normal that people smile at people they haven't met before, because happy to be enjoying the surroundings - wherever those are for you.

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