Forum

How important is co...
 
Notifications
Clear all

How important is confrontation?

Page 2 / 2

Elsa
Posts: 4882
 Elsa
Admin
(@elsa)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posted by: @leda

So I'm wondering, does it help you to tell someone how they have negatively affected you?

If it is someone you deal with regularly and the thing that bothers you happens frequently, it seems it would be worth mentioning. Especially if the person, overall, seems to care about you.

Compare to sharing the same info with a anti-social person. In that case, they'll double down on whatever they're doing. I've seen it happen.

I think you're on track, considering how you might bring this up, to who and when.

Reply
4 Replies
Leda
 Leda
Registered
(@leda)
Joined: 1 month ago

Active Member
Posts: 19

@elsa You're right...but what if the thing you have to confront the person about is that they don't care?

To be more specific, right now I get the distinct sense that my mother just doesn't care about me, but she keeps trying to be in my life.  I've felt this way for a while.  I've tried to minimize contact as much as I can, but I have kids, so it's complicated.  I don't want to cut her off completely.  

I would talk to her about it, but I tend to think it's not the kind of thing you can solve through confrontation.  If someone doesn't care about you, then they just don't and that's that.  So I just live with the fact that every time I interact with her, it's painful.  It's a real conundrum.

Reply
Elsa
 Elsa
Admin
(@elsa)
Joined: 16 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 4882

@leda at this point, a person would have to study the charts to see what's going on and offer idea around how, why, if and such.

I wish you (and your mother) good luck in coming to an easier way to relate.

Reply
Leda
 Leda
Registered
(@leda)
Joined: 1 month ago

Active Member
Posts: 19

@elsa Got it.  Thanks for your comments and advice.  Very helpful.

Reply
Elsa
 Elsa
Admin
(@elsa)
Joined: 16 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 4882

@leda you're welcome.

Reply
Plutolover
Posts: 74
Registered
(@plutolover)
Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago
Posted by: @elsa

Compare to sharing the same info with a anti-social person. In that case, they'll double down on whatever they're doing. I've seen it happen.

Elsa, you have this spot on! Our neighbour has been harassing us for nearly a year, prompted by us telling him to stop with his shit (again). His response was pretty violent, and we immediately withdrew - no contact, no response (Both my partner and me have Mars in Scorpio, although being a Leo sun, he really wants to kick this neighbour into touch - literally).

So now we're living with verbal abuse, spitting at our car, our front door, all that kind of infantile rubbish. The neighbour seems to get some kind of kick from this, we kind of roll our eyes mostly, but I have to wonder what kind of person thrives off behaviour like that?

So to answer the question, yes I would normally confront in a constructive way (Libra), but after what happened to us, I really prefer to step away and let batshit run its' course (maybe my Pisces moon?).

Reply
MariaR
Posts: 368
Registered
(@mariar)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

I only confront people when it's absolutely necessary.  I try to do it as calmly and peacefully as possible. 

Reply
Page 2 / 2