Being Different/Always the Outsider
Have you ever felt like a black sheep, a lone wolf?
That no matter where you are, where you go, you never fit in with anyone?
This is starting to hit me really hard and today I had a very emotional breakdown based on something that came up and triggered this.
Can someone help explain what in my chart would explain this? Is this a curse or something?
You and I share Neptune on the descendant which I've found over the years indicates that people frequently don't understand you, misunderstand you, or generally have 'foggy' ideas of who you are. You also have Uranus on the cusp of the 7th adding it's own flavor to how people view you - as a distinct individual which would also contribute, since a lot of people value commonness as a measure of 'fitting in'. It would also suggest to me that you won't be satisfied with an ordinary relationship - which again will pull you away from a lot of what society considers 'normal.'
I'd say that 'what's hitting you hard', is the Saturn transit (as well as natal Saturn in the 7th), it's undermining your sense of self in relationships. (Your use of the word 'curse'.) But that transit can also be a good tool in helping you define your relationships as well as help defining what boundaries and limitations you are encountering. There's no curse here, just a loaded 7th house - so one-to-one relationships of all kinds will be very significant to you.
Also study the dynamics of Cancer rising and moon in the 4th, both very sensitive. And the moon in Libra would be a deep need to feel secure and balanced in relationships.
Moon square Uranus along with Venus square Saturn are very significant aspects...
Suggest Liz Greene's book, "Saturn" and Donna Cunningham's, "Moon Signs"
At least you aren't alone! ? What's wrong with the Meetup group for misfits?
Thanks so much for the analysis! So I'm already having my Saturn transit? How long would that last and what would it entail?
What is particular about the moon square uranus?
Your natal chart is like a 'snapshot' of the sun and moon, and planets when you are born. They are always moving, so the planets (sun and moon) are transiting or moving around everyone's natal chart.
Right now, Saturn is about 4º of Capricorn, so it will, over the next few years transit over your natal Uranus (restrictions vs freedom), then over Neptune, (and then square your natal Moon), then transit the North Node of the Moon, then transit your natal Saturn - which is called a Saturn return - about every 28 - 30 years.
Just Google 'moon square Uranus' and Venus square Saturn to get a basic understanding of those aspects. Read several of these (not just one) and compare how they might operate in your life.
Also look up various meanings for each of your planets, asteroids, North Node (and South Node) in the houses. Like Chiron in the 1st house, South Node in 1st; Moon in the 4th; Pluto in the 5th; Uranus is almost conjunct the Descendant, so read that as the 7th house; Uranus, Neptune, North Node, Part of Fortune, Saturn in 7th; ans so on. Again, read several of these to get an overview.
Ideally, you might want to consider having a professional do your chart simply because it's difficult to be objective with your own chart.
Thanks so much! That's very helpful. Maybe that's why I feel like I'm having a quarter life crisis lol. Like everything in my life is just not going well. But I'll take a look at those placements and aspects you mentioned. Thanks again!! ♥️?
I am not an expert in astrology, but my observation is that Capricorn and Gemini North Nodes experience "being an outsider" until they learn their North Node's lesson. I would suggest reading Capricorn NN from Jan Spiller.