Voice Of Mars: The Hardest Thing A Man Has Ever Got To Do…

temptations.PNG“That’s the hardest thing a man has ever got to do,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Not beg a woman he loves. To be in love with a woman and she dumps you. You should never grovel. Grovel once and it’s over. You can tell her the truth… you can tell her that you love her but you must not grovel even the least little bit because if you do, you’re done. You may already be done. You may have lost her but if you grovel you will lose her for sure. If she dumps you, then you’ve just got to walk.”

I started singing the Temptations, “Ain’t To Proud… sweet darlin'”

“Yeah, they were full of sh_t. Beg a woman for anything even once and she’ll never love you or respect you again.”

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Voice Of Mars: The Hardest Thing A Man Has Ever Got To Do… — 15 Comments

  1. Oh seekingzen I think that’s a very good point about the Aries thing. My Aries moon man and I nearly broke up a while back. He asked me to reconsider and I did and I’m So happy about that. But that probably didn’t count as grovelling.

    I voted yes because every other time I’ve had someone grovel I was done done done.

  2. “Yeah, they were full of sh_t. Beg a woman for anything even once and she’ll never love you or respect you again.”

    Disregarding any confusion created by my jokes, hell yes.

    max
    [‘C’est la vie.’]

  3. well, I voted ‘yes’ because I believe it is generally true. however, if I really loved someone it would be okay. we all have our moments.

  4. i hated to do it, but i voted yes. not only do i not want the groveling, but in some ways, it would seem disrespectful. if i break up with someone, then i expect them to remain responsible for their own functioning afterwards, just as i am for myself. it may hurt like hell, but nobody has the right to make you their only savior, either, y’kno? that’s not a role i want to sign on for…

    in the context of a longterm relationship, i would expect to be more flexible overall as it’s extreme diress we’re talking, but in general, i want a strong man who can take care of himself…and expect my man to want a likewise strong woman, y’kno?

  5. I had to vote no. There have been plenty of guys I just wanted to throttle for begging, but my fiance has done it with great sincerity a few times and it worked well. Though now that I think about it, his very Aries version of grovelling isn’t anywhere near as pathetic and whiny as the other grovelling I’ve heard…

  6. so, I’ve been thinking a lot about this: can a woman get away with groveling? not that I WOULD, with leo/aries.

  7. I voted no. In my relationship, we have almost no regard for traditional gender roles. This is at least partly due to my masculine kite and my fiance’s emphasis on Cancer. He has in fact groveled in the past, and we are together and happy. Plus, I still respect, love, and admire him. Everyone loses control every once in a while and they’re still perfectly respectable people.

  8. I had to vote “yes” on this one because with all my Scorp stuff, groveling people make me want to either a)run away really fast, or b) step on them some more. Neither is good for me… Reasonably equitable relationships are always preferable in the long run.

    Agree with what goddess says too! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. “can a woman get away with groveling?”

    satori – my thought was no. If a man wants to leave you or he wants another woman begging him to stay is likely to send him out of there even faster. But I also asked the soldier for his opinion and he said that while it probably wouldn’t help the situation, he does not think a woman loses face the way a man does when he begs. The example he gave is of a women begging a man, a soldier not to go to war. She can do that – he has got to go, but no one is going to hold it against her. She will be forgiven where as a man, forget about it. He says he has seen in his whole life. A man begs and that’s it – he’s out. Though he understands the sentiment… he understands wanting to beg and has felt it himself, when a man actually does it, he says it is sickening and he feels all this is primal – like 7 and 8 years olds know this somewhere deep down.

    In that vein I was reminded of my son being rejected by the lovely Belle. She said, “no” so he walked (sadly) and what happened is she followed. Would she have followed had he not walked? I doubt it.

  10. begging implies a con man or someone with little to no self respect, neither of which is appealing, particularly if i already have reason to be upset with them.

    apologizing is good. fixing a mistake. actually changing one’s behaviour. all of which take time. and have to be internally motivated to really work.

  11. i’m with wyrdling. trying to make things right, regardless of the other’s stance or the situation, is dignified and honorable. begging is not.

    not to mention the guilt-trip aspect of begging. you say “no,” it makes you feel mean and heartless, regardless of how you may have gotten to where you are. that’s implied; beggar is desperate! this chick don’t take no rides on the guilt trip express, man.

    it all doesn’t seem very respectful, i guess. no self-respect, no other respect. just desperation, and desperate is NOT hot…

  12. Qualified “yes”, I agree. But it sounds like the soldier is talking about some situation where the woman loves the guy, the guy begs her for something, and the love turns off like someone throwing a switch. ๐Ÿ™‚

    The way I see it, and this goes both ways: most cases where you have one person begging another person is when the other person has already said, “NO.” Not just a no, but a final no. A “there is nothing you can do” no.

    At that point, the love either already went, or the refuser has reached a point where the love makes no difference. I’ve been there before. “Beg all you want. I love you, I’ll always love you, but this is how it has to be.”

    You ever get down on your knees and beg someone to love you, you’re basically asking for a miracle to happen, because the answer to that question has already been given to you — or you’d have no need to beg. Miracles do happen, but not often.

    I’ve actually begged someone before and had it WORK. I didn’t realize until afterward that I should have bought a clue there… that ended up being a horrible relationship, I was always in it on sufferance after that. There was never an equal footing.

    Some people do the thing where there’s this whole begging and forgiving pattern that they live by and even enjoy… it’s not really my kink, but even then, there’s a tacit agreement that the begging is not really begging, but just an emotional transaction. “This is how I say please.” “You said please just right, so you get the cookie.”

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