Today I confided in my husband, a particular fear I had. It was nice to air the thing and later in the day the fear was resolved when the person in question contacted me.
I quickly sent a text to my husband to update the situation, and let him know he was right when he told me he thought my fear was unfounded earlier in the day. It was quite tender and I realized tonight not only how fortunate I am to have such an intimate relationship but also how important this is to me. To me.
I don’t think people value intimacy in the same way to the same degree. I know for a fact my husband has no desire for close relationship with anyone but me where I associate closely with a crew of people at various times. I am just not a loner is the thing. I like to bond in a way that isn’t superficial.
I’d chalk this up to my 8th house, I suppose. I am very interested in energy exchange of a certain type but what about you? Do you value intimacy? Are you afraid of it, starved of it, disinterested in it, stifled by it?
Are you satisfied with the level of intimacy in your life?
my husband and I are also very close and share our deepest thoughts and feelings, and without that connection of deep intimacy, I feel I’d just emotionally starve..which scares me, no matter how many good solid long term friends I have, the intimacy we share is intense. We feed each other’s souls with light and hope. And yes occasionally rip into each other if misunderstood!
Our marriage chart is Scorpio, and our Mercurys are same sign, and we talk all the time. Yes I am satisfied,although not in an everythings perfect in every corner kinda way, but no I don’t do superficial, it makes me clam up in company not knowing what to say. Deep meaningful friendships that might not be everyday, but pick up easily, warmly after weeks, months, years without strings, they’re my thang, and thanks be for em all.
Having an 8th house Sun in Gemini, I value it intensely, but at the same time I’m afraid of it, LOL.
My 11thH Venus in Gemini loves & values detachment. My 8thH Pisces Moon finds intimacy far more engaging. I fight with myself – a lot. LOL
what is it about your, or the eighth house in general and bonding not being superficial?
I haven’t been satisfied with the level of intimacy in my life for…ever? No, no, I had a very close friend that helped satisfy my need for intimacy for a number of years before she passed, so I can say I know what the intimacy I want looks/feels like.
I can’t point to any particular planet placements for my intimacy wants/needs. Depending on the house system used, I have Aquarius on my empty 7th house cusp, but in very late degrees. However, large part of my ideal of intimacy in relationships is very Piscean – I want to be on the same wavelength as someone, feel deeply connected, and be able to share about anything and everything.
Then Saturn/Moon/NN conj. in Virgo in the 1st says I need to learn to be a little more careful about who I seek that with. 😉
Q: Do you value intimacy?
A: Far more than the average human being.
Q: Are you afraid of it, starved of it, disinterested in it, stifled by it?
A: Starved of it entirely.
Q: Are you satisfied with the level of intimacy in your life?
A: The other two answers should very clearly answer this.. Quite a no.
I love deep intimacy… but have only allowed a VERY spare amount of people to get past my superficial defenses.
Can’t handle intimacy. I mean I love it but I can’t take it when it blows up.
It’s a cliche by now that people shy away from intimate relationships because they’re a afraid of getting hurt; actually that’s a movie where finally a couple gets together *despite* their fear.
Me? Never again. I’m not a movie. I will *never* get over it. I can’t be counseled or rehabituated or persuaded, no amount of psychoanalysis will help. This is just how I turned out. Getting into an intimate relationship again would feel like walking into a five point ambush and knowing for sure I was gonna die. It would have to be at gunpoint.
@ abby, the 8th house is associated with depth. They are one in the same so with emphasis there, a person is not going to be lite fare.
eva, i feel you.
Yes, I am satisfied.
@ Elsa, what content of the 8th house would indicate this depth, elsa
any thing to look for in partcualr
I mean am a scorp, so depth is a slam dunk but still am curious ????
So this person is not superficial, then?
@jamie – personal planets in the 8th.
I have craved deep intimacy for all of my life, and I feel quite starved. I’ve had glimpses of very close, deep connections but I’ve found that you can’t arrange for it and that most of the people that I’ve known aren’t comfortable with intimacy. It’s such a shame; people could be living at much deeper levels with one another.
I think that my problem is that I try to be intimate too soon with friends, spilling my mental and emotional guts, when they’d rather keep it at a purely superficial level. But I’d rather be alone than have endless superficial connections. Definitely not satisfied.
(Libra Moon in the 8th house opp. Venus)
No, but staying linked up with this site is a start.
soul deep intimacy with a friend or lover is so few as to be counted on one hand (scorpio moon), can’t count the number of people i’ve scared off by revealing my depth too soon, too much, too honest… have learnt to reel this in and play the game as to be out in the world (leo rising, (venus, mars, uranus conjunct rising) needs despite 12H cancer sun) so now i play the waiting game, quite easy for scorpio to ferret out little indications of ‘real’… but patience required.
no one person fills this need at present. single mom takes a lot of my emotional energy… one day…
I greatly value intimacy but I have just a few intimates. But I greatly value them. Early in our relationship, my husband had a hard time with my close relationships with my siblings. He is like your husband. I am my husband’s only intimate.
god, could have wrote that myself
my scorpio thing and tendency to be too open in the past has scared peeps but am scorpio sun and not alway as secretive as they claimed to be
I have had times, when I simply hemorhaged, openess and on ocassional existensial despair and struggle which, alienates many
very few, see the soul behind, it,
if i check the chart I had done a few months, back and see what my 8th house planets are, could you confirm or deny for me elsa whether depth is partciularly starred ??
jamie, your best bet is to post your chart to the boards and ask there. 🙂
Hi H20Fire – You’ve got me contemplating what is “intimacy” versus what is “openess”. People may be seeing your outgoing personality with all that’s happening on your Ascendant; but could it be there is some intimacy cleverly burried in your 12th House Cancer that needs to find an outlet?
I have chiron and urania at 6 Capricorn in the 8th house. Recently it was conjuncted by transiting Pluto and Ceres. I feel like I have reached a new level of commitment and connection with my clients, my practice and my spirituality.
BTW, what boards can we post a chart to?
Scorpio intimacy needs…yes, and all that leo-ness (and i’m a tall blonde to boot) makes me ‘seem’ like a really open person, deal well with small children :>, people tell me their secrets but with challenging childhood issues (don’t get me started…) and after lots of therapy, I’m trying to learn how to be appropriately intimate in intimate relationships…
married an aquarian with scorpio moon but didn’t work out… I’m trying to figure out the ‘open’ vs ‘intimate’ thing. trying to find internal confidence in my creativity (saturn in 5th) so i can express it in a consistent manner…
i feel like a pretzel… with no skin and tough knots in the middle. oh well, reading this blog is helping me tremendously… just knowing there are people that ‘get it’… digesting ideas and gelling while my son is small, one day i will have more time for myself.
thanks for the food for thought:>
“Are you afraid of [intimacy], starved of it, disinterested in it, stifled by it?”
All of the above.
The 8,321 Pluto contacts in my chart scream for deep, deep, deep.
The Aqua moon, Libra stellium, and Uranus contacts run from that toward the shallows.
Then I realize I hate the shallows and the alien life-forms there and go sulk. 😉
Breathe, maan. Just breathe. *grins* It’ll be h’okay.
I swear, for the past week everytime I think of something interesting, I pop on the blog and someone’s already talking about it. 😀 Awesomesauce!
You will no doubt be shocked to hear that I can relate to that.
will try, maybe someone will answer this time
h20, do you have a facebook if elsa, does not object
what ever movie plays in their head plays in mine.
Scorpio with packed house and pluto residing in it. Intimacy is like breathing to me and I really love getting down to the grit with people but I find its hard too and well sometimes I feel maybe I scare people off. I also find Im a secret keeper for many but also general acqauintances/friends will tell me something dark only to avoid me later after the event for various reasons. Sometimes this makes me sad and lonely because people confide in me only to realise they told me too much and then avoid me but I live for initimacy.
no i don’t do facebook, my sis-in-law had a horror story of facebook hacker(got into her busi bank accts, was traced back to her facebook acct) so I avoid it. I think there is a way to email a person so it doesn’t get posted to whole blog??? maybe that is the ‘reply’ – don’t know, i’m not techy… Maybe someone knows… today is my son’s birthday party, i’m off.
happy day to all :>