Is some part of you that you know is wrong, but you just can’t squash the behavior? For example, I know someone who really knows they should live within the law…but they’re always sort of straying a bit. They wake up, over the line and have to fight their way back.
Or how about the petty thief? They know they ought not steal, but they just have to take a bit more pie than they’re entitled too.
I think most people have some type of behavior like this. You may be an alcoholic or someone who lashes out at others when you’re frustrated.
Why is is so hard to change these behaviors, once a person is mature enough to recognize what it is they do? What’s the astrology? And for Saturn in Sagittarius, what does it mean?
Its like, a click in your brain. Unless you do it, you’ll feel like something’s missing.
It’s lashing out for me. I try to control my temper, but I’m working on it?
I have a friend whose long term boyfriend has issues with infidelity and we were talking about this once and what seemed clear to me was that his problem was in identifying when and where to draw the line. In his mind, he didn’t have any intention of cheating, but he kept putting himself in situations that made it harder and harder for himself to resist temptation. It’s like alcoholics know not to go sit in a bar. This guy didn’t know that he shouldn’t be hanging out late at night after work with single women while his gf and two kids were at home. In his mind every little thing he did was a an independent act, none of which was wrong until he found himself in a position where he was overwhelmed the opportunity to do exactly the thing he swore he didn’t intend to do. Maybe it comes down to lack of foresight, or inability to figure out the root cause of one’s behavior.
Or does he pretend to be unaware to avoid accountability. No one accidently cheats on their partner. True not everyone requires the same amount of fidelity in their relationship but this scenario sounds like a convenient rationalization.
Oh I don’t think it’s an accident. I don’t think he’s trying to be faithful. But if you asked him he would say he’s not trying to cheat. See what I mean?
That is kind of dumb on his part. I had cheated in the past and ‘not putting myself in those situations’ or ‘dating someone who lives close by’ is the better answer. It sounds like dating that guy might be that woman’s negative habit :/ especially when she has two kids.
I agree but people need to work their own way there and it’s not my relationship. The kids can be a motivator to leave or a motivator to stay, depending on how you look at things. Some of us are better off along. Some of us aren’t. I just thought it was a good example of the monkey on your back scenario.
Very interesting, about the motivation to stay or go. That’s so true.
People used to say that they stayed for the kids…now they say the exact opposite.
I wonder if kids are handy when it comes to justifying doing whatever the hell you want, lol. 🙂
Seriously.
Maybe, but I think it’s more complex than that. (Sorry, maybe I should start a thread in the forum, lol). I’ve known lots of adults (myself included) whose parents stayed together “for the kids” and wished they hadn’t because they were so obviously miserable. I myself stayed 5 years longer than I should have in a marriage because my kids were small. Not for them, but for me. Little ones are a lot of work and even though he wasn’t there that often, it was better than nothing. In a situation like hers I might weigh it in the balance and decide that my daughters could grow up healthier if they saw me being loved and respected by a man, or strong without one. Or I might think they will have more material security and a father in the home if we stay together. It all depends on what you want for your kids, I guess.
I don’t know about the Astro of it, but I think it’s often repression & – denial to understanding what is driving them … There’s also just a lot of sociopaths out there, but it’s a greater issue of how unconscious most operate in the world
Afflicted moon maybe? Some kind of disconnect to your own needs? Disconnect between your mars and moon or an unintegrated mars?
Negative habits/reactions are difficult to change because they are perpetuated by strong, unconscious drives. And as long as the drives remain unconscious, they will rule your life. For Saturn in Sag (of which I am one) it means actively pursuing a spiritual or philosophical path to bring the unconscious to consciousness. This leads to the true resolution of those behaviors you discuss and many other practical (Saturn) applications.
Yep. Could not agree more. Saturn in the 9th … Plus my comment below. I am already loving Saturn in Sagittarius.
This is a great comment thanks
Some of us can see where we are wrong and try to change it to become better. Others revel in being wrong and acting like spoiled brats. I am having to deal with a spoiled brat right now that is 36 years old. The term in law should be changed to outlaw.
LOL the in law to out law comment made me laugh out loud
Glad to make you laugh. But she is really trying my patience.
The downside of the 12th and the shadow, says H12 Sun, trine Scorpio Neptune. Unless you bring light to these areas, they *will* take you down. I have a Saturn Moon, though, opposite that Sun and sextile that Neptune. Takes some work, but one can turn the energy around.
I’ve also worked hard with every damn Saturn transit. Haha. Every. Damn. Saturn. Transit. Sigh.
The light makes them look so ugly. I think that’s what makes some people feel ‘repulsive’ bringing light to their shadow. They look at their shadow and say this person is completely disconnected I can’t respect this person. This is what I felt. I needed people to deny it to say ‘you can’t be that bad.’ I also dont think shedding light on them is the only solution. Speaking from my moon opposition transit, I’m not sure what information I’m digging up or what to do to move through it. I think I moved through some. I still feel pretty alienated
I’ve heard that having Mercury behind the Sun or too close , like a 2° conjunction, can cause one to lack foresight. They just have a hard time anticipating the consequences of their actions. Has anyone else experienced that?
There are some people who are still alive because, though I have Mars Uranus Chiron, I also have Saturn. It’s hard not to explode sometimes though.
I have a number of things like this. How many “new leafs” can one person turn over?
I’m getting a little sick of it. Looking for a permanent solution. It’s got to be my fault that bar won’t move. Because I am running my show, for sure.
I know I’m like the worst patient ever!! I’ve been told not to do certain things, (they hurt my body, causing ME pain) yet it’s like I’m just stuck being a petulant child and can’t grow past this behavior (of not listening to the dr or ‘doing what I’m told’).
I don’t have a clue what the astrology would be. I’ve get past this, I’m coming to a point in my life where I’ll need to be past this,
Angie
Sounds like an 8th house thingy to me. 🙂
I have several monkeys on my back, and lately they’ve been really hopping. I can’t seem to get them off no matter how hard I try–I don’t know what’s wrong with me. 🙁
I really need to stop sucking. Maybe I’m too hard on myself like my husband says….but imo I’m not hard ENOUGH.
Dunno. I dont know your situation but if you are being ‘hard on yourself’ (which it kind of seems you might?) i have a recommendation. Only Louise hay helped me move out of some bad habits like procrastination and self sabotage for a while. I recommend googling her affirmations and you either get this site that shows a lot of free health related affirmations from her indispensable (I feel) book ‘Heal Your Body’ http://active-healing.blogspot.com/2011/02/specific-affirmations-from-louise-hay.html?m=1
Or google ‘Louise hay morning meditation’ and play it when you’re still in bed right when you wake up. Or the evening meditation as you fall asleep. There’s also a self love one and other ones you can play whenever. It was helpful to me to loosen my grip on insecurity and sundry physical issues
Mine is escapism. I can’t escape anymore and it is sad. Mighty sad…I’m really feeling sorry for myself. Wait, I can’t feel sorry for myself, either. Dammit. #piscesproblems
To me it’s like asking Sophia Loren to go Amish – such is the tightening of the screws for a bit at the moment with the square to jupiter virgo too.
Once the North Node shifts to Virgo next month, I think all of us are really going to feel this. No more running away or making excuses, no more foolishness, no more living in a mess. We’ll be forced to put the self-pity away, roll up our sleeves, and get to work. Reality will hit us square between the eyes at that point. That could be a good thing.
This is exactly what i meant when i posted a thread in the forums, the toughest part is to manage ones own monkey and that of a loved one.
I am the negative habits professor I feel. I have a bit of a 12th house emphasis and find myself spiralling frequently when I rebel against something subconsciously. Lately I feel I ‘can’t stop’ eating certain foods that are bad for me that I’ve excised mostly. Or that I ‘can’t start’ looking for something new to do. Or to feel really insecure about my lack of success with men and bitter. I’ve also found (since I had a mars square transit) that i am actually angry and aggression works to wash away the negative attention and hurt and to punish lack of positive attention rather than stew and hate myself, to tell one to go away and the other that they’re superficial. Not that I’m 29 and suddenly irrelevant or something (and appealing to both the horrible and grandfatherly.) Only Louise hay’s ‘heal your body’ and various of her meditations (along with my lazy attempts at yoga) really helped to loosen my grip on some of these thought patterns, though the positivity scared me and I kind of spiraled back. I have so many negative habits, I guess, but I think I might be getting better, though digging for the root of the habit doesn’t always work. I have to think more about this. It is complex, requires compassion, and negative habits rule a lot of peoples lives. It sends some down the toilet
Pfffthahaha, monkeys! Sorry, my immaturity is showing.
I think that having monkeys on your back just means your human. You can play with them, encourage them, stop them, analyse them, etc. etc. Are you human if you have no monkeys/bad habits? My parents are 20 year A.A and multiple 12 step program veterans. They don’t do anything bad, no meat, no drugs, no drinking, very into their spirituality and their programs. It keeps them busy and seemingly happy, enough. They face their demons, try to help others, don’t escape in obvious ways. Mom still gossips/judges has her temper moments, and step dad still escapes with t.v and books. They are always trying to be the best people they can be at all times. It’s where they are in their lives, and I think that wherever anyone is, is ok. It’s all ok. That’s how I look at things, as long as youre not negatively effecting me or anyone innocent/helpless, etc. then I’m not concerned.
I think that having monkeys on your back just means your human. You can play with them, encourage them, stop them, analyse them, etc. etc. Are you human if you have no monkeys/bad habits? My parents are 20 year A.A and multiple 12 step program veterans. They don’t do anything bad, no meat, no drugs, no drinking, very into their spirituality and their programs. It keeps them busy and seemingly happy, enough. They face their demons, try to help others, don’t escape in obvious ways. Mom still gossips/judges has her temper moments, and step dad still escapes with t.v and books. They are always trying to be the best people they can be at all times. It’s where they are in their lives, and I think that wherever anyone is, is ok. It’s all ok. That’s how I look at things, as long as youre not negatively effecting me or anyone innocent/helpless, etc. then I’m not concerned.
Is this a Neptune thing? Seems like it. What’s the thought process we have when we do the things we shouldn’t, I wonder? (I’ve wondered this about myself, too.) Could understanding that thought process be the key?
It feels better in the now to do it now than to put it off to feel better later. I observed this in myself. I have more reasons or maybe it’s more “me” to do the thing that’s more my personality than change (say… sit in a job that isn’t where I want to be in my life for structure and independence, rather than bet all my chips on a more altruistic/creative profession.) I notice that I’m more likely to continue a behavior if it has positive associations (usually anything Virgoan or 6th house I might revisit, like making my own deodorant, doing affirmations, doing yoga, or sleeping more. So different from a 1st house aquarius venus girl who made her own lipstick just to see if it made her lips look good. Usually I will do something girly if it is also “healthy” for “me.”) I’m trying to read more but am not motivated to explore my Sag stuff without feeling like it can be woven into my routine or feeling immediate benefit.