I read the post from the woman who had all the Virgo in the 8th house and I could totally relate. I too have had an issue with waiting for men to come around after leaving them, because I couldn’t bear a life of superficiality. I understand your advice regarding Venus and Saturn and about attending to the whole self rather than focus on some area of yourself while the other part rots.
I appreciate advice I can assimilate and feel frustrated and inadequate when I can’t figure out what is so obvious to others. With many planets in my 8th house, I struggle to know what is right or wrong and what are my rights in life in particular. I feel I an waiting for something that will never come.
When you have a certain makeup in your personality / birth chart and that is all you know, how can you just change without clear advice? What might seem obvious and easy to do for one person may be Greek to another. How can you learn to be the part of yourself that you’ve never expressed? How can you believe in yourself when you’ve been programmed to feel like a failure?
Thank you for listening. I’d appreciate any advice you might have,
These are excellent questions. People don’t grow in vacuums. They need feedback to grow and learn and this is why the company you keep is so important. Hang out with people who tell you that you are lousy and you’re going to be weighed down. Hang out with people who love, challenge and encourage your grow in a positive direction, and chances are this is exactly what will happen.
So in your case, you’ve had some lousy programming. And I am sorry to say that it sounds as if you have swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Because there is nothing in your post to indicate that it even occurs to you that you’ve got the power (or even the right) to enjoy yourself. But I want to answer your question very specifically. This one: “How can you learn to be the part of yourself that you’ve never expressed?”
First, we all have parts of ourselves we are not conscious of. And it is via interacting with others we discover what they are. Perhaps your friend outlines something for you. “You know, I have seen you do this 18 times and I think this about it…” Or perhaps you meet someone who provokes a feeling in you. Jealously for example.
Say I meet someone who gets to travel all the time and they piss me off. I resent them. So hey? Might I be a frustrated traveler? I’d say so. And once armed with this information, I have two choices. I can continue to seethe with envy, or I can get up off my butt and make it a point to get out more. Which one of those do you think is going to lead me somewhere new, hmm?
So this comes down to taking responsibility. You grew up with people who told you that you sucked? I am sorry. But you either overthrow that government or you live under this tyranny for the rest of your life. What you need is a friend. One friend you can trust to give you honest feedback. I realize this is hard to come by – but knowing what you are looking for can only help. I’d make this my first step and if you manage it, the next step will show itself.