Sitting On The Sidelines Of Life

zodiac emilia castilloElsa,

I just stumbled upon your website and thought that I too have no oppositions in my chart. My natal chart is mostly dominated by squares, sextiles and trines. From my own observation of my behavior and perspective towards life is that I seemed to be relaxed and never seemed to mind what the future holds. I don’t work too hard enough. I feel useless. I also thought that i might never be truly happy because I do things only halfway and not learning from my past mistakes only makes me more stubborn to change.

How will I get over these negative thoughts? I’m so obsessed of suffering and even wished that I too should have had a hard life just like those people with so many oppositions or squares. I always believed that people who went through hard times deserved better reward than those who think life is like a piece of cake. I think of all my success its just due to luck and never been an output of hard work.

No Further Info

Hi, No.

Reading your post, my first thought was that this was a Mars problem. You identify problems but you DO nothing. You take no action and predictably, you see no improvement in your situation. It’s hard to be challenged when you won’t accept a challenge!

My next thought was that you were fooling yourself. I’d give this to Neptune. Specifically, it sounds as if you’re suffering to me. It sounds to me as if you live in constant torment, yet you characterize yourself as lucky. You say you’re relaxed…and also obsessed? Obsessed people are not relaxed!

You didn’t send your birth data so I can’t tell you how these planets are operating in your chart. But if you want a place to start, here it is.

If you do nothing with this information, you should expect nothing to come of it.

Anyone else want to weigh in?

Got a question?  Ask here! Please mention your location (city, state, country, province…whatever). I think this adds something to these posts.

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Sitting On The Sidelines Of Life — 8 Comments

  1. OP wrote: I’m so obsessed of suffering and even wished that I too should have had a hard life just like those people with so many oppositions or squares.

    I don’t understand the point being made. If the writer wishes to have had a hard life, it seems to me volunteering to help people who truly do have a hard life will allow the poster to feel some empathy toward the unlucky ones and accomplish a goal for him/herself. Win/win. It makes zero sense to me to wish for a hard life. If you have it easy, lend a hand.

  2. I can tell you that I have some harsh aspects in my chart and I definitely work on them. I also know several people that have what would be traditionally considered ‘easy aspects’ without harsh aspects. Life tends to pass them by unless they act.
    That being said, they all three have their Suns & Mars in easy aspect to Neptune & Pluto. I have Mars in easy aspect to Neptune & Pluto, but harsh aspects between my Sun Neptune & Pluto.

  3. When I read this post, I see someone who wants to achieve but is being pessimistic about themselves. Maybe I’m projecting? Along with the Mars and Neptune, I can see Saturn here… because of the “not working hard enough” theme and pessimism.

    I admire people who have had hard lives. They’re inspiring. They achieved and overcame. That’s why I like them, so I used to wish I had a life like them too.

    It’s not enough to wish that you had a hard life. You have no control over that. That’s the easy out. If you want a challenge when one has not presented itself to you, you’re going to have to seek one out and follow-through… If you have no clue where to start, you can try your hand at improving your life by overcoming something you fear, if you want to feel really alive. You won’t feel useless then, I promise you.

  4. Perhaps this is just that person’s make up, but there’s plenty of need if you want to shake it up, and get close that edge where it’s not so quiet, where it’s not so easy. Poster person: you have much to gain if you want to jump in and assist, guide, direct those who are in dire straits. I guarantee you, you are ripe to have your life enriched! If it overwhelms you, back off a bit, and go at it at another angle. You’ll figure it out. Bless you for laying yourself on the line. You could to have a lot to offer, yourself and others.

  5. I feel like I identify with what this person is saying. I too, feel as though I sit on the sidelines of life. I hopped out some years ago to deal with my divorce, my daughter, my depression and some health problems. The world kept going, as it does, and now I don’t have any idea where to jump in and get started in being a member of a community or making friends. I feel I’ve made slight progress over the last year or so, but only ever so slight.

    I also feel that I don’t work hard enough, don’t achieve, never learn. For some reason I have great difficulty understanding, finding, and choosing action. I think’s Elsa’s right. I have 4th house Mars in Taurus. I think there is a lot of negativity in my past (parental sources) and I would be wise to give myself some credit, so it can serve as a jumping off place. Knowing what I want, and breaking it down into action steps to me is like turning of the tap to pour a cup of coffee. Incongruent. I simply don’t get it.

  6. I considered this suffering thing last week when a writer on this blog apparently gave a pen or key lashing to someone who wrote about happiness when there is so much suffering going on in the world. I have heard this before more than once. The pursuit of happiness is part of the American doctrine. I would hate to see happiness be abolished because I do not want to see it evolutionized out of the human experience. Then the tyrants, the grinches, have indeed won.

    With both the questioner and Lily I just get that they feel they should be doing something other than what they are doing. Maybe the recipe that they feel they are supposed to be following isn’t the right recipe? I know what that’s like. Oh the guilt. How that recipe got planted in my nut brain I’ll never know. And oddly enough, if it is to be, sometimes when I give up, the thing happens. Anyway, just some thoughts from my perspective. The questions have been asked, and the answers are in there to be heard.

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