Mars Pluto… Fight Or Die?

old italian soldier“So what happened anyway?” I asked regarding the soldier’s past lives. “How come you never got any love? What did you do? Just go to wars and fight and die?”

“Pretty much,” he said. “Some other stuff happened in some of my lives but mostly yeah. That was what I did.”

“So you would just go out and get killed young? Is that it?”

“Yeah, I did plenty of that. It took me a long time to learn to stay alive,” he said. “But that’s not the reason nobody loved me. I was alive long enough someone could have loved me if they were gonna.”

“No kidding,” I said trying to conceal my amazement, probably successfully. “I see.”

“Yep, but no one ever did. Not one person has ever loved me as a man in this life or any other until the day I met you.”

I stared. “I have no comment. I have no idea what to say about that.”

“Well there is really nothing to say. It’s what happened.”

~~
I don’t know what you make of this but I’ll tell you what caught my ear and it’s acute. It was this statement:

“It took me a long time to learn to stay alive”.

Is that not true for all of us? Do we not have to learn to stay alive? Do we not have to learn to stay alive in relationship, to not lose out identity to the other person, fight against people who would try to oppress us? I am talking about your integrity as a human being. Are you alive if someone besides you is calling the shots?

This is all Mars stuff by the way. Fight or die.

What do y’all think?

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Mars Pluto… Fight Or Die? — 16 Comments

  1. Oh yeah,

    Life goes on
    long after the thrill
    of livin’
    is gone…

    from a little ditty called “Jack and Diane,” (1982) by John Mellencamp

  2. With a natal Mars/Pluto square the whole business of “learning” to stay alive, or perhaps in my case, wanting to be here has been an issue all my life. I was only actively suicidal once in my early twenties but have gone back & forth with being completely engaged in living. Mars is smack on my Ascendant too. However every time I have thought to pursue an interest in aggressive stuff like martial arts, I got a strong message not to go there . . .

    As for fighting to preserve my identity (Mars inconjunct Uranus) – very much so ever since I was a small child. stubborn as a damn rock on that issue!! 😀

  3. It’s also the feeling of being a mother. You might have a fever of 103° but you fight through or your kid dies, that’s how it feels to me. My experience was that at the birth I got these maternal rocket booster hormones, solar-energized and full throttle accessible for over drive. That might be my son’s Pluto on my Moon and his Mars opposed my Sun. Around me all you have to do is say KID and I say MARS/PLUTO. I fight for him or I die.

  4. Contrary (or maybe not contrary…) to my ‘what will be will be’ philosophy is the Mars/Pluto current that keeps me alive. I can %110 percent relate to what the soldier is saying.

    I’ve purged a small speck of that pain/memory/Mars-Pluto through my art and much more is coming. The creative well is bottomless, and I’m in no hurry to expel it in a haphazard fashion (does Taurus do anything quickly?)
    Luckily I’m not driven by money, it makes life so much easier. LOL!
    I have watched many friends struggle with wanting to be creative but paralyzed from reaching out for fear of loss of security.
    And I’m not talking about my friends who are parents because I assume the rules are different (I wouldn’t know).

    “I am talking about your integrity as a human being. Are you alive if someone besides you is calling the shots?”

    I left home when I was 16 for this very reason. It was very hard to survive and I thank my Mars/Pluto opposition for that compulsive will to live at all costs. It was useful when I was my most down and out.

    (Thank you, Elsa, and Neith too. Your knowledge base is terrific and I love how you share it)!

  5. aries pipes in “uh, isn’t that obvious?” er…. there’s always someone looking for someone to screw over, and if you don’t stand up for yourself, they’ll pick you.

    my son’s pluto is in aspect to my moon, as well. (sextile) and his mars opposite my ascendent. (in the same house/sign as my mars but not conjunct.)

    i’d always described my love for him as “fierce” but i hadn’t considered the pluto/moon element.

  6. gemini pipes back: “not obvious when it’s easy to skirt around them.” 🙂 It’s only recently I’ve learned the value of standing my ground. Really! Took a long time to see there was no substitute for that sometimes. Otherwise, my feint of choice has been: don’t fight if you can float around them.

  7. Jennifer – yeah and it’s in the 1st house too. he had vivid recall of (some/many) of his past lives and this is nothing new. He told me the same stories when he was 19 years old.

  8. the flip side, the not having found a partner in any real sense, is also part of aries SN. or, more specifically, the need described with a libra north node.
    ‘course, his is projected into the seventh, too.

    my memories are more of being married to people i hated. usually soldiers or leaders of soldiers. guess that’s one way to illustrate the difference between 8th house aries sn and first house aries sn. having to fight for survival within a marriage vs fight for survival as a basic element of identity.

  9. >”It took me a long time to learn to stay alive”.

    Whoa. This hits me hard right now.

    I have Venus in Aries in the 12th with SN there too. Venus is also my chart ruler. Oh, and in opposition to Pluto. For *years* I have struggled with expressing my creative energy, preferring privacy/ silence for a multitude of 12th house reasons. Today though, was grand. I expressed. I fought. I shone. I walked the precipice and didn’t fall. I won the battle before it started. Fight or die. It was totally like that.

    “It took me a long time to learn to stay alive.”

    This statement is really resonating with me. This is one of the reasons for keeping so much creativity under the radar- trying to stay alive. I have memories of serious persecution for going out on a limb for my beliefs or maybe for just being who I was. This time I around I feel like I have been living undercover. Fear of expressing who I am. What I do. So just shutting up. Yikes.

    Elsa~ I sent you a message last week saying hey about your Neptune Midheaven video. I decided to comment because I like this crowd and thought I’d pop in.

    Thanks for the tidbit.
    One love, all.

  10. I have mars conjunct chiron opposite pluto conjunct jupiter at the top of a kite in the 8th. I have literally died twice and woken up in the morgue once. The other time I popped out of a squished car like a snake out of a can. I don’t want to tempt it again.

  11. This is all really enlightening – I think I’m starting to understand my Mars more. It’s in Leo in the 11th but retrograde, and for years I would seethe inwardly about things other people did or said and never stand up for myself – its widely opposite Saturn in the fifth. But since I went back to college to do art and started releasing those Saturnian blocks in the fifth house, I’ve found that the boundaries I need have appeared naturally without me really thinking about it, I’ve started expressing my feelings more easily and don’t allow myself to go to those places with people anymore. It’s less about fighting or anger , and more about standing firm in what I am.

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