The soldier is clearly a Taurean….
We got in the car.
“Yet another gay boy all over you,” I said. “Everywhere we go this happens.”
His turned to look at me. “What? That man was gay?” he asked.
“Gay and hitting on you,’ I said.
“You gotta be kidding me. How do you know this, P? How can you tell a man is gay?”
“How can you not tell?” I asked. I was a little pissy. I was a jealous.
“Well I have no idea how to tell who is gay and who is not. How do you know this?” he asked.
I sighed. “Everything about him was a gay. That guy was a gay billboard. His clothes, his hair, his earrings, his manner, and most especially his fawning over you. Can’t you tell when a man is fawning over you?”
“No, P. I don’t notice things like that. I didn’t notice one thing going on in there.”
“Well it’s the way he looks at you. And does not look at me. He was all over you, never mind he just gave us our dinner for three dollars and fifty cents!’ I laughed. “$3.50! What do you think that was about? Why is he not charging you for this food we got?”
“It’s because he’s gay? He said it was because…”
“No. Gay people charge for food. Gay people make you pay. Except maybe if they see someone they’re interested in and want to get their attention. You know. Look at me. See me, I am here. Dump that gal and come back why don’t you?”
He stared. “Well I don’t know what to say. I didn’t see a thing. I didn’t notice one thing about that man.”
“Well he saw you. And we’ve got this cheap food because of it. Courtesy your good looks.”
He shrugged. “I can’t believe I look good to men,” he said.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not kidding. Why would a gay man be interested in me? I’m not gay.”
“What? That has nothing to do with it. Gay men like men for Godsakes. That’s the definition of a gay man. A gay man likes men. And what do you think you look like?”
“Well I know what I look like. I look like man I would hope.”
“Wrong. You look like a stereotype. A prototype I mean. You look like Boba Fett or something. You could be a prototype of a man actually… of a certain type and there is no way you’re going to go anywhere and gay men not notice you and I can’t say I blame them.”
“What? Look. I think I’m going to let you worry about these things, okay P? Hand me that BBQ sauce, would you? Boba Fett? Men are attracted to me because I look like Boba Fett? Okay. Well at least now I can say I’ve heard everything. Give me that sauce, P. Hand it to me. I’m going to do something simple like eat while you figure out the rest of this.” He shook his head. “Boba Fett. The things that come out of you, I swear. Apparently there is a whole world out there I’m not privy too. A world where you can get a discount on your food if men think you look like Boba Fett. I hope you don’t mind if it takes me awhile to figure this out. Do you mind? Because this almost beyond my comprehension. I didn’t see a thing go on in there.”
Ha, Ha, Ha!!! My triple Aries doesn’t pick up on that kind of thing either . . . But like you I can almost always tell if a man is gay because of the way he responds to me or other women. 🙂
Boba Fett! Hahahaha.
Its nothing personal, Elsa. I had something similar happen when I was visiting a straight friend in San Diego. We went out to lunch and his female friend came with us. She was rather unsettled that I didn’t react to her in the way that straight men react to her. She was a very beautiful woman but I am what I am, right? Having to apologize to a woman for NOT staring at her breasts is one of the strangest experiences I’ve had in a while.
Anyway, I’ve never even seen or met The Soldier but I’m still jealous that you have someone like him in your life… and he sounds WAY hot. 😉 I want one of my very own.
I prefer when straight guys are oblivious to this. It’s a sign of the time, man. Acceptance of all!
I’m just glad to hear (or maybe you left it out of the story?) that he (the Soldier) didn’t subsequently become hostile and want to go beat the sh*t out of the guy, or whatever. That’s the part of Mars in Aries, or wherever, that doesn’t appeal. Maybe that’s the Mars in somewhere else?
jjj – what? Why would he beat the shit out of the guy? he could care less.
The soldier beats the shit out of people who threaten him – think they are going to beat the shit out of him. he would probably hurt you pretty bad if he found you beating on a women, stealing his property and he would definitely hurt you if you were beating a priest but this? This is no offense.
wonder if being a homophone has chart markers? i doubt it would be connected to mars anyway.
actually, one thing i’ve taken very clearly from the soldier stories is that people who are far more comfortable with violence than i am don’t necessarily use it indescriminately. it’s been very helpful for me to understand that the capacity for violence doesn’t have to equate with scary.
How funny!!! My Aries man says that gay men like him,lol. Why wouldn’t they, he looks like a rugged Alaskan man that he is with goatee and all :).
Goddess, that is a very succinct observation. My Dad (who served in the army as well before joining the circus–?—) always said he was never afraid to fight, but he never picked a fight.
Well the soldier has only been in one altercation since 2003 and he did not beat the guy up, he just roughed him up.
And while he said he didn’t mind… perhaps enjoyed himself he also said he only did it because he was responsible to do it – that is the guy needed to be set straight and he was the nearest to him – in the closest proximity.
This means had there been another man closer who stepped in or up to kick the guy;s ass soldier would have taken the day off but as it was, it was the job fell to him and he did it.