Likability Through the Zodiac

miss Earth 2013I was talking to a friend the other day who lamented her Leo rising. She said that it placed a dramatic pressure on her to be liked. As an ultra-Leo myself, I was flummoxed. While I of course try to be good and kind to other people, I have never for a single day worried about being liked. I was always more concerned with being real, authentic, and true. And likability that comes from that is a bonus.

I think this is an important thing for everyone to get a grasp on, not just Leos. Being liked is great, but sometimes if we’re going to accomplish what we’ve set out to do, we’ve got to get comfortable with not being liked at every second of the journey. So, assuming we are still treating others with respect and dignity, my question is, what could you do instead of worrying about being liked?

Aries, do you want to be liked or do you want to be the best?

Taurus, do you want to be liked or do you want to be stable?

Gemini, do you want to be liked or do you want to be interesting?

Cancer, do you want to be liked or do you want to be safe?

Leo, do you want to be liked or do you want to be authentic?

Virgo, do you want to be liked or do you want to be discerning?

Libra, do you want to be liked or do you want to be fair?

Scorpio, do you want to be liked or do you want to want to know things?

Sagittarius, do you want to be liked or do you want to be free?

Capricorn, do you want to be liked or do you want to be accomplished?

Aquarius, do you want to be liked or do you want to be an individual?

Pisces, do you want to be liked or do you want to dream?

Ultimately, living authentically is what helps to give life meaning. If we are able to satisfy the basic impulses of our personality, then often we find ourselves well-liked anyway. But if the question is between being liked and being real, real is your best bet.

Do you fight to be liked or do you fight to be authentic? Or both?

Consult with Midara.



About Midara

Midara has been a consulting astrologer for over a decade. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, personal growth, tough transits, or whatever else, she’s here to help.


Likability Through the Zodiac — 18 Comments

  1. Would be so nice to be the best. (I’m not an Aries, just a 5th house sun freak) and to be accomplished. But I have to say some types of not being liked have always gotten under my skin. Never been immune to rejection. The quarantine dulled my hypervigilance cause I’m not around strangers as much. I think people all want to belong and be accepted in some type of way. I was starved for this and acted out a lot. The culture is shallow and shuts people out based on looks. The development of your sun helps to buoy you against people’s judgements. I think the fact that we’re pack animals has never been more evident. We distanced ourselves to wean off the addiction to others approval. I distanced myself because approval wouldn’t occur so why pander.

  2. I think people who don’t mind not being liked have a base level of already being liked by the people they want to respect them. Loneliness makes you into a fish that flips up and down starved for water. So does being outcasted. It does weird stuff like make you think you’re shitty. Ask my sun Saturn friend with a pisces moon. Pisces does want love doesn’t it?

  3. What a fine set of questions to pose for each Sun!! I do indeed like to know stuff. My Scorpio (along with Mercury & Chiron) Sun squares Leo Mars-Saturn and Pluto. Life for me is like hula ‘ai ha’a (a transformational dance of getting down, close to the earth … rough, very rough, translation) Being able & willing to hold the tension key.
    I really needed this sort Midara, thanks very much.

  4. Maybe both. But I can get anxious so if being likeable to someone would mean lots of compromise in places where it’s very hard for me to compromise and take away from my peace, I wouldn’t care anymore. So in that case being being liked would come last.

  5. I worry all the time about people liking me because I don’t think I’m generally a very likeable person. I have a 7th houses veus it’s something I have thought a lot about. I have no friends nor have I had any lovers. At a certain point it has to come down to just being repellent on some personal level. But the thing is the older I get the less I give a flying fark. A realization was that hey I don’t much like them either! It’s exhausting and just not worth the energy. I can’t ever be anything other than very much myself (bummer!) and if I spent time fretting over all the people who dislike me I’d ever get anything else done

  6. The significant thing about your friend is that she has Leo rising. I think sometimes, especially when we’re young, we can feel a pressure to be more like our rising sign that we actually are. I think we grow into it as we age.

  7. Great advice. I enjoy life more when I’m not focused on pleasing everyone and are just being me. I aim to be authentic as possible but do sometimes care too much of other’s opinions. I think I alternate between the two, depending on my confidence level.

  8. Basic acceptance by peers & relatives is important for our self esteem. That said, we do need to recognize when we are sacrificing our values just to please others. I think it’s a balancing act overall.

  9. Hhhmm – I don’t really fight for either option, it’s more like I avoid.
    I don’t think I can make myself be liked if I’m not. I am the way I am, but of course it would be great if I FELT liked. Leo w/ Libra rising sounds pretty horrible for this question!
    But I’m a low profile Leo (perhaps due to Sun conjunct Saturn?) (Or rotten Moon?) The Libra asc, well, dunno. I don’t feel like I go out of my way to absolutely please everyone, but perhaps I’m not completely aware of my behavior. However, I think too much people-pleasing is degrading – very arrogant of me, I suppose.
    Agree with Hades & Rekha, it must be a question of balance. (Libra!)

  10. I think being liked and being popular are different. I guess I don’t want to be a conformist but I still want to be ‘special’ and wanted and good enough.

  11. I was listening to Nadia Bolz Weber’s book Shameless and she had some really good quotes on sexual objectification. Which is what I often think is implied in likeability. Ones sexual value to men. She describes two 17 year old christian boys discussing and evaluating a 12 year old girls body. ‘When girls develop, they begin trading in a currency they don’t yet want and definitely don’t understand.. they become objects for inspection and desire.. most of the women I know who developed early were called sluts.. I fear my daughter would soon join the host of women before her, becoming an object for the desire or disgust of others, but I didn’t want my daughter’s body to be placed in the great worthiness sorting system, I wanted her to be free in her body, unbothered by its attractiveness, unbothered by the fear of assault, unbothered by the gaze of men.’

    There was some stuff in that passage that made me stop because I related so much to some phrases. ‘they become objects for inspection and desire’ or disgust..
    ‘the great worthiness sorting system’

    People found me shallow of being hyper aware of my standing in this system.. and resentful of it. Because for me it was moment by moment tiny rejection. It was hard to focus on the people that liked me. Other people don’t mind it as much. One of the aspects of quarantine is there are less men on the streets and if they do stare at you it’s cause you’re wearing a cover on your face.. I like wearing a mask sometimes

    I don’t think sexual objectification and evaluation will ever stop being part of a woman’s whole life, as much as she may ignore it. This is a part of the notion of likeability and a shadow part of it. Maybe some people can resist the discomfort of continuous evaluation, I can’t.

  12. The best part is that not every culture sees attractiveness as an entry point to talking to you at all, like this one does. Not everyone is so shallow as to not even be your friend or speak to you on a deeper level if you don’t pass the attractiveness muster

  13. I’m not one of those women who dresses up for women.. I started looking at this instagram called @filthyratbag (the art of this girl Celeste).. it reminded me so much of my mindset in my 20s and my difficulties with sex, relationships, self esteem, and the moment. Not every culture has that type of mindset where in your 20s there’s a lot of trying to get the attention of guys who don’t like you that much. Of course this girl is an accomplished and driven artist so the relatable confessions of her own uselessness have caveats. I think not being liked does make me feel unsafe and unstable and unaccomplished. I think becoming accomplished is the antidote to suffering from other people’s gaze

    But, I think most people are not above different concerns of likeability. No matter what their age. I have a progressed Libra moon and am not exactly arguing for the other side. But I’ve witnessed friends develop neuroses when they aren’t liked and don’t belong.. also they internalize these narratives and create defense mechanisms that stay a long time.. they begin to believe that because they aren’t liked, something’s wrong with them. Maybe gen z is doing much more with these feelings of alienation or the high school stereotypes don’t hold. I was reading excerpts of Dara McAnulty’s diary of a young naturalist. He is a young boy with Asperger’s who didn’t fit in and sought solace in nature, but what he is now is an accomplished, hardworking writer and activist/champion of the natural world. Not every alienated kid reaches those heights or uses their alienation or whatever he used as fuel.

  14. I think Mr. Jones is one of the few things that details this lack of self love and self esteem.. and is written by a Leo.. How Soon Is Now is a great song about low self esteem

  15. Obviously there are more important things, but maybe a Leo self esteem is healthier than mine. Or finds healthier expression. We don’t generally fight to be liked we just passively stand there and let people pass judgment on us, maybe it’s a Venus function.. that’s the problem that women aren’t taught to fight just to be 🙂

  16. strangely, Aquarius mars which clues in to what Aquarius likes, likability is very similar to Capricorn. They are both saturn ruled, so theirs is like, to be “respected” for their smarts/intellect (the mind). and Caps just want to be respected for whatever hard work they are in.
    That Elon Musk, is an Aquarius mars and he surely is into all that tech stuff and even married a weird lady type. Wierd as in weird strange individual out of the box type of lady. That could also be his Gemini venus talking, trining his Mars. So the combo fits well.

  17. I say all this stuff to justify that likeability is a complex and important topic to humans and not one we can completely shake off as social animals.

    However, I think the questions you pose are really smart and useful

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