Scared To Say, “I Love You”

Dear Elsa,

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years. In nearly all aspects, the relationship is wonderful. He is good to me and to my son. He is intelligent, funny, very attractive… he’s everything that I could want.

But after three years, he has not once said that he loves me. Not one single time. I have tried to bring it up on several occasions. He knows that I love him. And I’m sure that he loves me as well. What could be stopping him from just saying the words?

Thank you,
Listening Intently

Dear Listening,

What a quandary. What a puzzle. What an interesting question.

Of course the obvious thing to do is ask him. Not “do you love me?” because obviously he does. But “how come you never tell me you love me?” And you might follow that up with, “When you obviously do.” And then listen. Because he might just tell you.

That’s one way to play this. The other is to continue on as you’ve been doing. Which is impressive by the way. I mean, you’re twenty-three and most girls your age would be clawing all over this guy. They’d be insecure, hungry and manipulating. So you’re unique on this front which is probably why he’s so attached, huh.

Anyway, that’s what I think, but it didn’t seem like enough. So I looked at his chart. I wanted to help you, but besides that, I was curious!

Turns out he’s got Saturn (fear and impediment) conjunct his Mercury (speech). He’s scared, hon. Those words are stuck in his throat. And it would be really good if he could get them out, but I doubt he’ll manage without your help and this is what I suggest you do.

Pick your moment and just talk to him. Tell him you know he loves you. That cat is out of the bag. Tell him it’s okay. Tell him he can say this to you and the sky’s not going to fall. That it would make you happy to hear it.

I think this will work and further, it’s one of the ways you help this man in general. You liberate him. Can you see that? This is just another one of the ways you help him get free.

Good luck


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