I’m in college, and currently live at home. My mum is chronically ill, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in her hands and feet. She and I have issues dealing with one another at the best of times, but that’s only a part of what I’m worried about.
You see, I am nearing time to transfer to a college out of state. I chose this place largely because it not only fits me and my academic needs, but because living in the dorm gives me a small measure of independence, and going to school close enough to home would require me to stay here. I need my space.
My major question is, am I being selfish for wanting to do what I am planning? I have been very clear with mum as to what I am planning, as honest about things as I know how to be. I’ve involved her in every step of the process that I can. But in leaving here, am I doing mum a disservice?
Lost In Life
Dear Lost in Life,
You are not! You’re not lost in life. You sound very clearheaded to me. You also sound caring, compassionate and honest. How lost can you be when you have all that firing?
Of course you’re not doing your mother a disservice. You’re living your life and so is she.
Look at it this way. It’s not easy having arthritis. It’s also not easy to get through college! Please go and go guilt-free. If you want to feel something, feel proud. The quality of person you are is palpable in your post and anyone reading would agree.
But there’s a bigger issue here and that’s your guilt in general. With your Moon in Virgo, you’re a helper by nature and that’s fine. But you can’t save everyone, all the time. There are legitimate reasons for saying no and if I were you, I would work on acquiring the ability to absolve myself of the guilty feelings that arise – so you don’t need someone like me!