The Playing To Your Strengths To Attract A Man post was popular and people want to talk about this. A client asked me what I thought her strengths were. I told her and she asked for clarification…
“D, I meant that you were multi-faceted and have built in control that is offset by your eccentricity and open-mindedness. In other words, without Uranus and Jupiter, you would be quite dull and without the Saturn action, you’d probably be a holier-than-thou, jerk. As it is, you’ve got a lot of balance.
Imagine going to a fabric store. Some of the fabric is plain, some is gawdy, some is snobby but then you come across a bolt of fabric that is really well-designed. That’s you.”
Can you define your appeal?
Elsa – I really love when you take excerpts from consults and use as a teaching tool. Very effective.
or maybe thought provocative would have said it better.
I’m hot in bed… Venus in Aries! 😉
No, because different things about me appeal to different people.
No, my 12th house cancer sun is also inconjunct (by 1degree) my 5th house neptune in sag. I always have to ask what it is that attracks people to me (yes, even the men in my life!)
But I LOVE the fabric store, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT :o) :o) :o).
Angie
I wish i could. Loyalty is probably part of the picture, and i hope passion is too. But i’m not sure anymore… I really enjoy these posts.
Thank you, Maaike. 🙂
I think I’ve got it down. I’ve got Venus and Mars is Leo, and the Moon in Gemini. Usually if I want a man I just begin acting really confident and quirky, telling stories and whipping out weird anecdotes lerft and right. And it works more often than not. I guess the kind of guys who go for me are the type who don’t like to be bored. 😛
No. I was going to say that to you yesterday. Obviously when a relationship works out it’s because a woman has played to her strengths. And I like the idea: I like the idea that people will value your individuality and be drawn to you based on what is unique rather than what is common — or, you know, enhanced to conform, such as people all getting the same noses at the plastic surgeon. Women all trying to starve themselves to death so they can look like runway models.
Funny thing about this, I was thinking about it yesterday when I went clothes shopping for real to replace the whole wardrobe I lost in the fog: the reason models are so skinny is first, to cover up extremely bad design work. On a size zero runway model, nothing really has to fit or flatter any real person’s body: it can be an artistic statement for good or ill. Most of what is on the runways is crap and unwearable. But the body it’s on makes no statement about itself at all, so people can look at it and call it “edgy” or whatever.
Designing clothes for real women to wear and look good in seems like some kind of “revolution” but it’s really what they’re supposed to be doing in the first place. Instead, they get a really skinny nine year old and ask *us* to change into that so we can wear the clothes.
Anyway — playing to your strengths. I think we run across them by accident. I wouldn’t know where to look in my chart for my relationship strengths and personally I think I just have too much Neptune to be able to find them, plus a bound venus.
I’ve had some weird experiences with this idea. Once I decided that I would never be in a relationship based on trying to be something I wasn’t, I ended up with a guy who spend eight years trying to change me into his ideal. It was indescribably painful, this was eight years being an utter failure in every respect.
So if this man was drawn to something, some strength or value of mine, why did he spend eight years hating everything about me and refusing to leave me alone? Sometimes I think he was drawn to something about me that was not a positive at all. I think they *all are*.
@Eva maybe Neptune is fogging our “strengths” or maybe Neptune IS our strength. Search yourself for the positive Neptune traits and let em grow! My Pisces sun “believes” in you :0)
My appeal is that I am a farmer..I am dirty most of the time..My finger nails are full of dirt..I do not stink however and I am one of the hardest working women (at 53) I have ever met.
Other than that once in a while I clean up well!
I have been single since I was 28 and have kissed a lot of frogs~~
Neptune on the ascendant, venus and Jupiter in Libra…
Scorpio rising so Jupiter in in my 7th house this year..Crossing my fingers..I want someone to love me for who I am!
Donna, your last name showed on your comment so I edited it out… just in case. 🙂
wow, far fewer comments than the post about Guilt! I could define my appeal, only because it’s the things I see in my mother. Besides that, it’s really hard to take a look at yourself and point out the things that someone else would find beautiful. Our favorite parts of self are usually different from the things that others appreciate.
I really don’t know – especially since I’m unaware of attracting many men in recent years (I don’t get out much, and I wonder if I give off some sort of “don’t come near me” vibe – other than those men who have looked me over, and either been with another woman, or the one who was looking at valentine’s cards and had a little girl with him).
I’m too aware of my faults right now, and keep having to remind myself of my strengths. Somebody called me ‘lovely’ after I wished him a belated happy birthday, earlier this year. It was unexpected, and appreciated.
Yes! I’m sexy and fun. And I’m smart and loyal and independent. Sorry I can’t be more humble, I may have problems but being a good woman/partner isn’t one of them.
Now I’m going to run away before people start throwing eggs at me, LOL!!!
No eggs, LOL. I’m feeling really depressed over this – again. I’d just like someone – a man who knows me or is around me – to express it for a change. and not in a player way, that will have me wanting to hurt him.
I read all the comments on this thread & the pre one now many people are interesting in here ,, but what Venus in Libra can give? I know for me if you are only “nice” I will respect your presence appreciate your manners but that’s it I wont love you for being nice there are other attributes that draw me in , now I have Venus & mercury in Libra, mars in Virgo I surly attract no one as far as am concerned !
Dear Elsa 🙂 If its possible to Order a Venus/attraction/strength Report am getting my e-net card by next month 😀
@Salali I really relate to most your comments! I had to say it I hear you (((salali)) !!
This is a very interesting question.
I would say yes. I’m a guarded soul who isn’t inclined to tell my whole life story to every passing interested male. Men need to earn my interest and my guarded nature usually makes them try and poke a little deeper into getting to know me. This is where their attraction begins.
The quiet creature who seems mysterious and calm, yet offers small glimpses of fire in her eyes.
I’ve learned that even a small frail candle can carry the strongest flame. A weakness can be a strength in disguise. You just need to know how to use it to an advantage.
I am one of those women trying to be what I am not at times that you talked about – therefore having problems with my love life. Your article on Venus was an eye opener for me. I have Venus in Aries in the 9th house
I think I need to work on that – but you pointed me in a direction I had not thought about, so I learned something. Thank you-
Kat
Thanks Elsa. It was a big deal; I am going to dig into it a bit today. It made me think differently.
I’m smart and different from many people. I am also affectionate and quirky. Oh well. No one is buyin what I’m sellin Plus they saw unique and now they just see awkward so I have no idea what my appeal is….
I think my Venus is more like this: http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/cbb/2007/05/15/splashnews_sdfl100507b_07_cbb.jpg (minus the pregnant part)
Than insert normal sexy. Oh well. Sexy is sexy. Men can sniff it out. That I’ve learned. In college at least people were interested in what I’m sellin. Now the words that dominate are “passionate” “creative” “strong” and aALL that means is sexy.alpha.female. The thinking man’s sex symbol. I call bullshit.
What if you don’t like what you reel in? Or understand why you get it?
As George Carlin says one swatch could be Lena Horne the other could be Kate Smith I really do think men have social proof built in and can pick the most desirable female out of a group rather quickly. Not all of us have Venus or Mars in Aquarius. I’ve studied it and “cute” don’t cut it for sure