I’ve been dating a wonderful, kind, and spiritual man for 7 months – in most ways, he is the man of my dreams. The downside is that he has been going through a chaotic divorce for the past two years. Although he has filed, they are still in the negotiation stage and nothing has really moved in the past year.
Here’s the problem. He has been married twice and has five children ranging from 3 to 19. Although he has a good job and income, his current wife doesn’t work outside the home and they lived beyond their means. That is, he’s over his head in debt and she keeps spending. He turns over 85% of his paycheck to his wife to pay for living expenses for the wife and children. Apparently this amount still isn’t meeting her expenses as she continues to send my boyfriend unpaid bills.
Several months ago my boyfriend and I decided that he would move in with me. Although I knew at the time that he was financially strapped, I had no idea how bad. It goes without saying that he has not contributed a dime toward food or household expenses. In fact, he has to borrow small amounts from me from time to time and it appears that his wife is continuing to spend money frivolously – yet he does nothing and the divorce does not seem to be moving forward.
It may seem obvious that I need to dump the man until he’s on his feet. However, we get along wonderfully and he is a great lover and companion. Also, my two teenaged children enjoy having him around and he has been a very good influence on them.
Am I being too pushy in wanting him to be more aggressive in getting the divorce finalized and getting his finances in order?
Virgo In Love
No it’s not obvious you should dump this man. You sound very level-headed for one. You do not sound as if you are suffering from denial, for two. But beyond that, it sounds as if this guy is doing a splendid job of meeting your needs. Outside of this one glaring issue that is. Money.
And why dump your great sex with a man your kids like, because of one problem he’s got the ability to fix? Who would do that? It makes no sense. If it were me, I would definitely keep the man and try to solve the problem. But how?
Well first, regarding your question, no I don’t think you are being pushy, asking him resolve his divorce. But I also don’t think he’s responsible for your choice to get involved to the level you have. You’re the one who is a Virgo. You are the one with the need to find people who need your help, yes? You’re running a hospital there, and now you’ve got a patient… so no bitching!
You need him as much as he needs you. Matter of fact, I bet if you dumped him, you would be out looking for one just like him within a week or two. And knowledge like this can only make you more effective and more resolved. And this is what will help. Commitment that is. Because here’s the astrology:
You have a Saturn transit to your Venus. This is serious (Saturn) relationship (Venus). Money (Venus) is limited (Saturn). Your partner (Venus) has baggage (Saturn) and the way I see it…
If the love (Venus) is real (Saturn) then you must work (Saturn) it out. And can you do this? Yes, I think you can. Good luck.