Are You Interested Other People’s Perspectives?

I have a stable of friends. An array, you could say and every friend I have is very good at being who they are. They are each very fine specimens of whatever it is they happen to be and I realized the other day that I milk this to no end.

When something happens in my life, I generally make the rounds. I call everyone who is currently tracking with whatever news I have and ask them what they think. What does a Scorpio think? What does an Asian think? What does the most emotionally sensitive person I have ever met think about this?

That’s not enough.

“What does a rich person think? How about a Special Forces soldier? Or a 12-stepper? Or a packed 12th house? You know. What does Pisces say? I am very curious.

This works out really well. Because who doesn’t like their opinion solicited, especially when the person asking really wants it. Because I could care less about having my own opinion validated. I want other perspectives. What else would Mars Mercury in the 9th house, hunt?

I’ve been thinking about this and I have been become very aware of how specialized my friends are. For example, take Scott. He always thinks there is hope. No matter what is going on, or who it’s going on with, Scott can always imagine a positive outcome which is enormously helpful and soothing to me.

I call Pisces for fairy dust obviously, and Special Forces if I want to cover my ass. Because to him, everything is a mission of very serious import and you need always be aware of your back!

I find if I run my circumstance through this mill, I wind up with a comprehensive understanding of whatever it is I am trying to deal with and I can’t imagine trying to deal with anything without this network!

Do you keep an array of friends or do your friends tend to be like-minded?



Are You Interested Other People’s Perspectives? — 16 Comments

  1. I keep a menagerie of friends, because I, like you, like having a many different perspectives. Mainly because I just can’t think of all the options or angles!

    Especially now, it’s been great to get the inside scoop from other people who have been divorced and it’s helped make the transition easier. I love my friends!!

  2. I’ve a very small group of friends. I thought about this just a few years back and came to the conclusion that I just don’t have the energy to keep up with that many people. I’m happy with about five, no more than seven. Any more than that and I start to feel like my life is being taken over by my friends!
    Strange, sad, and true.

    Anyway, to answer the actual question at hand – I usually lone wolf it. I don’t want other people’s opinions/advice most of the time, I just have faith that if I keep at it then I’ll hit the solution that works for me. When I do need advice, though, I ask my fiance, then whomever (note the singular) else would give me good feedback on the particular problem, then you if I’m still in need of ass-whoopin’s. 😉

  3. I’m with SaDiablo. Too many opinions leave me confused.
    I do ask people around sometimes in rare ocasions, maybe it’s uranus in the 9th, but I hate getting advice unless I really ask for it and think it will be worth it, so I lone wolf most of the time. Also when it’s someone else’s idea I tend to not feel it in my gut easily and it doesn’t work that way. ( uranus square mars, both in fixed signs)

  4. I like original thinkers. I have a huge variety of friends. Nerdy mini-golf playing family people? Got them. Gay escorts? Got them. Devout Muslim PH.D students? Got them, too. And anyone else you can think of in between.
    I used to think it was totally random, but now I realize the truth: the common denominator is me.
    I think I am with the Lone Wolf, though. I trust myself enough that I can be inspired by others to change my mind. I don’t ask for direct advice unless I am despondant and can’t see the wood through the trees. Doesn’t happen too often. Too many opinions do not confuse me, but I like to talk with strangers. I find it cathartic.
    It makes the universe feel smaller and friendlier. For example. I was in knots about breaking up with a friend, and one day found myself listening to a total stranger tell me: You gotta read this book! It’s called the sociopath next-door! Or some crap like that. And I found this stranger’s advice more valuable then someone I knew. He didn’t know how much he helped me, just by engaging in some random conversation anout books we were currently reading.

  5. As for aspects, I have Pluto in the 9th; it’s squared to the Moon, opposed to Mars and Venus, and sextile Saturn and Neptune.

    I think taking the casual brain-picking of strangers is also less intrusive then the potential landmine of my rag-tag group because my ego isn’t so tied up with what a stranger thinks of me!

  6. I have VERY few friends, but more buddies. the friends are very different but they all are very serious about loyalty and friendship. hmm, I guess I have more friends then I thought of at first… I’m very lucky.

  7. I tried to answer this question three times and kept coming up with a different answer. I guess that means I go with part of my first answer.

    My own mind has so many sides to it, that I rarely need to seek outside. I can see everything from the sensitive, the hopeful, the heartlessly practical, the whimsical, the cynical…

    and nothing about my friends is clearly defined- at least not that I can see. Probably one of them could tell you more clearly. I can’t decide. Not today.

    sorry, having a mutable moment.

    but I do know one thing. People my own age or younger never seem to offer any advice that I find useful. I tend to just go with what my Mom says, she’s a scorpio, and she knows everything I forget about me, and she supports every decision I make. See, I’m always getting confused about who I am and what I want…

    I’m just going to stop now. Usually I am not this bad. I’m just really indecisive today. Sorry.

  8. A lot of very different friends – a lot of opinions. Though I do ‘select’ their answers judging by personality – but I will ask a friend, who has never left her country or her man for more than two weeks, whether I shoul go for more than two years, but of course, she’ll tell me I’m crazy (though might add: but do it, because it seems like something you would do). Then I’ll ask someone who has done it herself for more perspective. That’s what I like, to get the thing in 3D, and then move.

  9. I have two very good friends (who live in the U.S, not where I live) and many light acquaintances In Real Life. I ‘try out’ friends and lose interest in the ‘mundanities’ of friendships as I’m always craving intensity or its opposite, easy compatibility which I have yet to find! This is all my fault and I find it rather sad, but I’ve stopped getting all ‘angsty’ over it. Maybe I’ll change, I hope I do, but if not, so it goes. And I’m horribly competitive even though I deny it and other (gentler) women pick up on that. Sometimes it feels like the stars rule you, not the other way around. I never listen to anyone’s advice except these two friends however– as they know me and still love me.

  10. I relate to Ruth above the most on this matter. Right now, I really have only one friend and she is my mother! I keep in occasional touch with a long-distance friend. I think I am in a period of my life where I am a loner.

    I love the idea of having friends who are so good at who they are so I almost envy you, Elsa. I think I kind of satisfy this need online where I find “voices” like that. None of them think like I do.

    I think this will change within the next two years. Maybe this is a question I could ask Elsa!

  11. Sylvia, you reminded me of how I tend to approach friendship. In the past, I had difficulty having “casual” friends … they had to either be the closest friend ever or they were barely above merely acquaintances (i.e., I hung out with them at parties, clubs, etc.)

  12. Belle,

    My father is a beautiful, kind loving man with amazing intellect and curiosity. I get to see him on his birthday tomorrow, and his friend Morris is coming. They see each other once a year. Dad doesn’t have many more. He’s a real loner. I am not sure what anyone else will make of it when I claim to have a stable of pals (I am Sag rising though, we like to get out and about). But the coolest dude in the world (IMO) is a lonely wolf, and I am seriously pleased he counts me as a buddy.

  13. I don’t know if I’m like my friends or not, but I do like to canvass lots of people about their opinions. I’ll think up some options, ask people I normally agree with what they think is the best. Mull. Then I’ll ask people I normally disagree with what they think. Mull. Then I’ll go to people who wouldn’t actually ever be in that situation, like my Nanna, and ask them. If I have time I might even go back to the first people, to ask a second time. I always put that down to the ‘libra-dither’ effect.
    My best friend/other half has had a totally different life from me and is 5 yrs younger. It may not be an issue now but it was when she was 17 and I had to talk our way into pubs and clubs because she was underage. I do have other friends, but I always miss her when I hang out with them exclusively. So I guess I have many acquaintances, but one true friend.

  14. It is a bitch for me to not have my opinions validated (Cancer) and to take criticism! I also can’t focus very well through the extent of the opinions given to me (Gemini). As much as I like hearing people talk to me about me, I lose focus when the conversation begins to get abstract. I have to work through that. My friends aren’t an array because I’m beginning to gather friends that are not acquaintances and trying to form commitments (a Scorpio girl just declared me her friend which spooks me a little because she really cares and is loyal to her friends). I have a friend who is a Libra who I am much too touchy-touchy with if he gives his opinion. Most of the time I need to hear “you can do it” or “everything is okay.” So yeah, I’m envious that you can take in unseasoned new perspectives from your friends without retreating to nurse your wounds because I can’t work through my thing with criticism yet :-).

  15. Everyone comes to me for opinions rarely the other way around. I mean I am genuinely interested in what my friends have to say but I don’t go seeking opinions unless I am really conflicted…I tend to keep my ‘stuff’ to myself save a few precious confidantes.

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