Angry People And Their Angry Friends

member_of_the_angry_mob_bumper_stickerI’d be the first one to tell you that I get pissed off. I actually enjoy it. I like venting. I like raising my voice to argue something, passionately. I’m a loud Italian with Mars conjunct Mercury and every now and then, I am going to blow my pipes out, that’s all there is to it.

That said, anger is not my primary emotion. It’s not something that eats me up inside. It’s not what drives me.

I see a lot of people out there who are little but a ball of anger. They’re constantly twisted. They’re constantly pissed off about something. Some inequity. Some frustration. Some part or portion of life they cannot control has them incensed, yet again!

I see this frequently and I bet you do as well. It occurs to me that part of the problem is that they’re pissed off, because their friends are pissed off.

Get it?  If you want to be in the club, you’ve got to be pissed off too.  You’ve got have some OUTRAGE!! Otherwise, what?  You’ll be friendless? I doubt it.

Think of people in bunches. Is your bunch, an angry bunch? My bunch is a friendly bunch. I don’t think I could stand hanging around people who constantly, and chronically dissatisfied.  It’s even worse, when they don’t realize it.

Elsa P on the Unconscious Mars

Luckily, we get to choose our friends.

How much of your life is spent, enraged?  Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you set your rage aside?


Angry People And Their Angry Friends — 34 Comments

  1. I grew up in a hollering household. It took moving away and living life on my own for several years before I finally figured out it wasn’t how I wanted to be. I have only a couple of true, close friends but we are really gentle with each other.

  2. I grew up in a situation where “nice girls” didn’t get angry. When I got out in the world, there were a whole lot of females who were really angry, really loud, and guess what? Also nice people. So I exercised my newly-found anger a bit too much for a while, but somewhere along the way, I learned that energy could be put to better use. Now I’m mostly a “nice girl” again — mostly — but I do enjoy a good rant occasionally just to make sure the kettle can still boil.

  3. I know a woman (or at least I did before she got hold of the wrong end of the stick and thought that she was correct which resulted in an angry rant on her part) that has a mars in gem and mercury in aries (mutual reception) configuration. Its amazing how when a person gets angry about something they get a angry with something they beleive they are absolutely correct about.

    But I find it unbelievably that people are angry all the time. Even that woman above was not angry all the time. I have a felling the person would need a mental illness of somekind to be angry all the time. Hence my mother who really did shout all the time and was belligerent .

  4. Usually if I’m pissed it’s driving to work or encountering stupidty at work. This isn’t a daily occurance, maybe weekly. Mars/Mercury

    I’m ok with the amount of anger I have. I don’t really notice anger in my friends that much to be honest.

  5. I think there are legions people who can be defined by their outrage. And it seems a place to be stuck, to me.

    I read a remark the other day, about how many get pissed off when they don’t get EXACTLY what they want. They’re just infuriated and meanwhile, their life is going by.

    The other thing is, they want you to also be infuriated and if you’re not, this infuriates them.

    After awhile it’s like looking at a cartoon, rather than a person.

  6. Nah. I get exasperated/annoyed. If something goes ‘wrong’ that gets to me this is what you’ll hear, “Seriously?” Like, aw c’mon. (pisces rising,sadgie moon) There just really is not that much I care about that has the capacity to full on “rage” me. Besides it’s a far too exhausting state of existence. That being said, when it does happen that I lose it…HOLY SHIT…I scare myself because that’s when that Jupiter in Scorpio comes out and I’ll cut a bitch.

  7. I am noticing a large group of people who are outraged over many things lately, mostly having to do with children and mothers (stemming from this Cancer stellium energy perhaps?).

    I try not to carry a chip on my shoulder for very long in any situation, unless it’s a deep rooted thing (i.e. I get MAD about the government when it comes to the Internet. freedoms, privacy, etc). learned over time that it just isn’t worth it to get angry all the time.

  8. Yeah, acqua. I’ve come to a point where I go out of my way to limit contact with people who seem to be made of glass. I have no interest in offending anyone, so when I see someone like that, I try to skirt around.

    Personally, I like variety and some of us are louder than other.

    I don’t understand the current mindset that wants to strip people of their individuality and their independent thinking. I don’t want to understand, either. I am from a different time – I accept this!

  9. My mum is inherintly angry..she was raised in the surf beer and football culture with her brothers and she is a Leo sun…roar.

    my friends are all happy but my anger comes from her personality rubbing off on me because i emulate her attitude so much, and also through my inability to take action to change what im not satisfied with.

    Pisces: Fear/Wariness
    Taurus: Stubborness
    Aries/Venus: Burn out and charge in too quickly (fall off mountain)

    Mars/Pisces: Just not enough oomph to get it going

  10. I’ve had it explained to me that anger makes for fight and it keeps people going. The person who told me this says that without it she wouldn’t be able to function. She is very active and always on the move, a super achiever with a vengence. Who am I to argue? Come to think of it I know a few other people like this. It would be called my bio family. But they are all very “successful.” And that’s what’s important, right?

  11. Oh this is timely indeed. With my virgo sun in the 10th, these are the people I work with. And it is always going to be all about them. It is the load I carry. Thing is my sun sextiles my deep feelin 8th house cancer moon, so … that’s where the need for detachment comes in. It’s finding a new expression with these folks and also a challenge to find outlets for my expression.

    The sun and moon are in yod with chiron which is near this full moon point. Uranus in the 9th is at the opposition point to chiron. Wild child!!

  12. @acquagal–I was raised by a Jewish mother from Brooklyn, NY and a Irish father from Queens, NY. I married a WASP from Minnesota and I always have to tell him I’m NOT yelling..I’m just enthusiastic and excited. It drives me CRAZY sometimes that he doesn’t get it! When I yell I YELL!

  13. Oh snap…I forgot about my Mars Aquarius.
    Fire in the hole!!! **BAM** Thank God for everyone that it takes quite a bit to really get me there. But Elsa, you say angry and enraged as if it were the same thing…I don’t feel that way. I yell, I’m loud when I’m angry which I think is normal. Rage to me is my Mom losing her fucking mind and throwing shit, venom spewing and mass destruction. I suppressed my general anger with alcohol because I thought any show of it meant I was like her, but I’ve learned there is a difference. I don’t bring a gun to a knife fight, if ya know what I mean.

  14. Again, I probably failed to communicate.
    I am talking about people for whom “angry and outraged” is their primary calling card.

    The kind of person I am talking about got pissed when they read this, because they don’t like their reflection. 🙂

  15. Oh I hear ya….Thee ” This is an outrage” sorta character. I just waited on one of those the other night…we ran out of whipped cream for the dessert he ordered and holy hell the sky went dark. Without telling the whole story, it ended with my boss telling him to never come back to our restaurant. It must be tough living life like that.

  16. Yeah. They are pissed off, and that’s not good enough for ’em. They want you to be pissed off too.
    But what I notice about people like this is everyone they hang around is as pissed off as they are.

    That’s what I was trying to convey. People are clustered…and you’re either in an angry bunch…or you’re not.

    I thought if I wrote something like this, some might see themselves and be able to switch.

  17. Am I one if these people? I live with a ton of resentment…at my mother in law…my husband controlling me. I hold it in til I can’t anymore then I turn into an angry demon. This isn’t often, most of the time I am easy going and sweet.

    Everyone who has ever seen me get angry can’t believe that kind of rage can come out of me. Everyone thinks I’m this sweet soft spoken person. So when they see me get loud and start yelling, they’re shocked.

    Anyway, Uranus is on my mars right now, perhaps I need to detach from negative feelings.

  18. I’m frustrated when I feel blocked and powerless, so in order to feel less frustrated, I’ve sought pathways where I felt less blocked and more effective, and I decided to wait for the right moment to melt certain obstacles.

  19. I’m angry about very specific things, but I can also be very happy over very specific things. I’ve just lost another thing to be happy about – my dog. She made me happy. Someone yelling at me as my dog was dying? That pisses me off. I live in that type of household now, have done for well over eighteen months, because I have no other choice.

    I had some repressed anger over the years, but that didn’t define me. I blew up and let it go (mostly). Some things are ongoing. It’s weird to me when people decide that they know who I am, and what I’m feeling, when they don’t, so they might define me by my more extreme emotions. The people who really know me, know what a happy little soul I used to be, and how easy it can be to make me smile.

  20. I’d like to think I WAS one of the angry people Elsa talks of here.

    The universe somehow kept sending me lessons/situations where through I learned that this type of behavior leads to destruction. I’d like to think I’ve changed. If I get angry now, I try to work through it. I’m learning what is worth fighting for and how to communicate it without offending. I often tend to not deal with it because I know in the past my natural response did not help. A work in progress.

    I agree it is cultural, my Portuguese culture is more receptive to expressions of anger, however Canadians are not.

  21. It’s a bit like enabling alcoholics, inevitably you surround yoruself with people who make your defence system & behaviours ok, as it suits their own.

  22. I was surrounded by anger as a child it felt like . ..lots of yelling and stuff in my house, which just made me feel so anxious…so incrdibly stressful – no wonder I’m still healing from it. No physical abuse or anything…just angry vibes…I think there’s something in my genes that’s been passed over from my family or something. . from looking at my family history it could be possible…makes it quite difficult to ground.. I think I hold a lot of it in… if people are using that energy against me – should I be holding back? I’m really not sure…I suppose that would be suppressing it?

    Who’s happy for mercury going direct tomorrow?? I wonder how much a difference it will make…

  23. Used to be like that. Then – speaking only for myself – I got older and realized that I didn’t have the energy for that anymore. It was also misdirected anger at other things, which thankfully I got away from.

    However, I know a couple of people who aren’t necessarily OUTRAGED all the time, but instead have anger that simmers under the surface. It either comes out as constant grumbling, passive aggressiveness or sudden outbursts. They’re always in denial about it, though, and talk far too much about how grateful and happy they are. I take them in small doses or not at all – again, too little energy for it.

    That being said, there are many legitimate reasons for people to be angry and this isn’t meant to take away from that.

  24. My ex is like that. Always on the verge of furious. Elsa, you told me that was common with Mars on the ascendant, which he has. He gets mad about reall small things.

  25. Elsa commented;
    ”Yeah. They are pissed off, and that’s not good enough for ‘em. They want you to be pissed off too. But what I notice about people like this is everyone they hang around is as pissed off as they are. That’s what I was trying to convey. People are clustered…and you’re either in an angry bunch…or you’re not. I thought if I wrote something like this, some might see themselves and be able to switch.”

    I was taught as a child by my grandma, quote; ”you are the company you keep”

    Good advice i reckon..

    My personal example of this would be a couple who are good friends of mine that came over for a visit last night, they were telling us that they plan to have children before they are 30 (she is 25) & basically they believe we should do the same! Because i am 28 now! (all my female friends are pregnant right now btw..)
    It was so obvious they are pissed of that they are feeling the pressure to follow the crowd, & want us to feel the same way.
    So yeah, they are pissed off, and that’s not good enough for them. They want me & my partner to be pissed off too.
    My Saturn return in my solar 5th house & in my natal 7th house, is trying to avoid people like this right now. My Mars in Cancer natal 3rd is feeling the social communications, crunch.
    Even with my Venus in Taurus, I still hate to follow the herd.

  26. I hate it when people tell others or me to repress my anger, I think it’s a terrible thing to do. That being said, anger just leads to more anger. Expressing it is healthy, but I know my limit.

    I’m not motivated by anger, I’m motivated by my love of writing (Sun in Gemini). I need it to live, if I don’t get creative I’m not living my Sun.

  27. I am in an angry crowd. Everyone is pissed at their mom, child, in laws what have you. And the tirades usually end with “Do you know what I mean?!?!”. In which case I am supposed to validate their outrage. Mars conjunct Mercury conjunct my Virgo sun here so I do get pissed sometimes. But I just am tired of sharing. I don’t want to feel angry at anyone anymore. Energy is just energy until it is directed (thanks for that wisdom Elsa) and I like to use mine to get fired up to do something good, like go running or look for a new job. Otherwise, I think it victimizes you and if it is your modus operandi, it makes you a bit of a caricature or cartoon as Elsa pointed out here. I am asking the universe for a new crowd and trying to move towards more positive activities.

  28. I think it is a very primal/tribal defense mechanism… that can easily become a self made prison that stunts your growth.

    There is a sense of power people can access by holding onto certain wounds which they use through manipulating people with guilt. Its gives a twisted sense of control and self-protection, when in reality it is self-destructive. I think society teaches us to do this in many ways.

    I see it all the time, and it makes me cringe, and it makes me sad 🙁

    Its one thing to be angry and mad, its another to let it control you to the point were you use it to ‘try’ and control others in a detrimental manner.

  29. Lol Miss Rachel ‘use it to try and control others in a detrimental manner’ . . . I get that. The one who screams loudest and longest gets their way. The screaming wheel always get oiled. It amazes me thinkin how powerful a force anger is. I tried on anger yesterday like remembering how it felt, thinking I could motivate and really get alot done. Doesn’t work that way for me. And by sleep time my body was crazy achey. A wasted day.

    And yes anger and common enemy and cause does seem to be a bonding factor. In america we are programmed to be angry and stand and fight. Or so it seems to me. Whatever does the warrior do without a war.

  30. oh yeah, i used to be like that, too! when i was about 23 i had a switch.

    well the truth is, i had a mental breakdown and something in me just woke to the exhaustion. i was so exhausted.

    now when i am repelled by this kind of thing, i try to remember where i’ve come from and try to help.

    i like being happy…i wish the same for others.

    life is so challenging. small pleasures are where it’s at:)

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