Dear Elsa,
I have only been in love once. I fell in love at the moment that they first spoke to me. I literally forgot what my name was and was unable to find it on the paper I was to sign.
As time went on, I could do nothing right in her eyes. She has a Pisces Moon and everything I did or said she took the wrong way. I literally smiled at her once and she was even suspicious of that. If I was talking to someone then I must be speaking badly of her. If I was laughing, then I was surely laughing at her. Is there something in my chart that points to me causing someone with a Pisces Moon to be either afraid or angered by me?
I would like to heal this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Virgo Moon
United States
Dear Moon,
I don’t think the problem is in your chart, it is in hers. You are dealing with someone who is significantly paranoid which is not the fault of the Moon in Pisces. I don’t know what this woman’s problem is but the fact you are feeling the problem is caused by you reflects your own problem and the proclivity to this is very apparent in your chart.
With your Sun in the twelfth house, part of a stellium there it’s a challenge to know where you start and others begin. Virgo Moon is often very self-critical and the fact yours is opposed by Saturn does not help. I would guess this girl has her Pisces Moon on top Saturn in your chart and this leaves you feeling you must be making some kind of error but I am pretty sure (we’ll see by the comments) that it is clear (to others) that this girl has a problem that is completely independent of you.
I am sorry this is probably not much help as it does sound as if you love this girl very much but if she is not willing to discover what is driving her intensely jealous and paranoid feelings then I am afraid you are simply going to be up a creek.
Good luck.
sorry to hear you’re having a tough time, virgo moon.
your ability to reason regarding emotions should tell you that if someone sees trouble with most everything you do and say and has no basis from your past or present behavior, that the issue is theirs, not yours.
that’s not to say you may well not have your own stuff to address. but clarifying what is in your control versus what is not is vital to addressing what you actually can address. when people respond outside the stimulus, it always points back at them. your feelings and drives around her are the only ones you have the power (or right, for that matter) to address.
it’s not you. i got myself into a couple of relationships where the other half continually “misinterpreted” me and i kept trying to explain things. thought it was a failure of communication on my part. i eventually realized they just lived in their own world and nothing i could say or do would change what they wanted to believe about reality (and relationships.)
this sounds a lot like that.
if it’s not yours you can’t fix it.
(and my virgo loves fixing things. but sometimes it seems the likeliehood of getting anywhere is so slim it’s wasted energy to try.)
oh my, I agree with all of the above comments. I had a similar situation with my first love as well, also at first sight. Not a pisces moon, but scorpio moon with venus/pluto. I was continually amazed at all the ways in which he was paranoid. He could find something to be paranoid and jealous about in nearly every situation. And, like you, I figured this had something to do with me so I did everything I could to communicate ‘better’, avoid problems, etc. But everytime I accommodated this tendency it just got worse.
It all boils down to self-esteem. When someone doesn’t believe they deserve something, they find ‘flaws’ that no one else can see, and experience fears that are not grounded in reality. They just can’t receive you because they are stuck. They have to fix their mindset first before they can accept you.
Wyrdling had some good advice: “if it’s not yours you can’t fix it” Be your normal self and give her the chance to feel the inappropriateness of her responses and address her issues. Everytime you sidestep them, you make yourself crazy and lose sight of the fact that the crazymaking behavior is not coming from you but her. Let her be an adult and fix her own stuff!