Monster of the Bride

Hi, Elsa,

My mom has had a tenuous relationship with all of her offspring. She’s even quit speaking to each of us for extended periods of time over the years. Eventually, my three siblings pulled back completely. They just got tired of her tirades and her hurtful negative judgments on our lives.

I was the only one left, until about six weeks ago. I received a carefully worded email from her that included the sentence, “We shouldn’t talk every day when we have less-than-pleasant conversations.” Mom then proceeded to unplug her phone for at the next two weeks, and ignored or deleted the emails I sent her.

Here’s the problem: I’ve invited many of her friends to my upcoming wedding. She’s told them all she will be there, and yet… last week I received her RSVP with a tiny little “zero” written on it. Lovely. I get the stress of explaining to 100 people where my absent mom is… and 15 of her sullen acquaintances will be nervous about being there when they barely know me.

I am loathe to pick up the phone and call her, but hey – she’s my mom! What should I do?

Thanks for listening!
Soon to be Bride