*Note – This is a true story.
I was obsessed with Circle K. I was about ten and doing a slow burn in the desert sun. This was no joke. Iβm not cut out to be isolated. I craved experience and I mistook the convenience store on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere to be a thriving metropolis. I thought it was a rich cultural center where I could see and be seen.
We had no television, no neighbors and no telephone. We had one car. My father would drive it to work each day leaving the rest of us stranded in the middle of nowhere in the 110-degree desert. This bothered some of us more than others. It bothered me profoundly and I dreamed and plotted and pined to escape this hellishness.
Circle K was 3.3 miles away if you cut through the desert the way we did. To me it was the Promised Land. If you had a penny, you could get a piece of candy but it was the social angle I craved. I wanted to go somewhere. Occasionally my mother would need something from the store so we would walk there, except I wouldnβt walk. I was so thrilled to be on the road, Iβd do cartwheels the whole way, heart exuberant, hands landing in the hot dirt.
My oldest sister was long gone. A double Sagittarius, sheβd jumped the fence to go see the world. My brother, earthbound, would walk alongside my mother. My other sister, the Pisces, would twirl to the store. Sheβs a dancer today, she always was. The dogs would come, an hour would pass and the whole crew would emerge from the desert at the edge of the highway, and there it would be. Like a vision. CIRCLE K!
My Ticket Out Of Here
So there was nothing to do all day but try to get to Circle K, and my sister was only slightly less obsessed than I was. With her Moon in Sagittarius, she liked to get around as well, so together we worked our Grandfather, Henry.
Henry lived next door. It was a three-minute walk through the desert to get to his house. Weβd get over there early each day and start our begging.
βCan we go somewhere today? Please?β
Being a kindred spirit, heβd do what he could to get us out of there, but it was never enough. So I brainstormed.
It occurred to me to ride a dog to the Circle K but all of them were uncooperative. A machine would be nice but I couldnβt build one. Iβm not mechanically inclined so progress was slow. In fact, it was at a standstill and this is when the miracle happened. My grandfather decided to buy a pogo stick. Eureka! Surely heβd let me use it, right? And this would be it, my ticket out of here!
Do you wonder why a seventy-year-old man would want a pogo stick? To get a healthy heart, what else? He was buying it for himself, to use for exercise, but I intended to hijack it for my own purposes at the first opportunity. I confided in my sister. I told her I was going to pogo to the store. She thought I was crazy. Unless it worked, that is.
βWell, Iβm sure heβll let you use it, but if you learn to drive it, do you think theyβll let you go to the store on it?β
βWhy not?β I asked. βMom always says to find your own way to get there.β
βShe means get Grandpa to take you. I donβt think those things have a motor.β
βSo?β
βSo? Youβre going to have to hop all the way there, Elsa. Without a motor.β
βSo?β
βYou think youβre going to hop to the Circle K?β
βYes. Thatβs what I just said, isnβt it?β
βI donβt think pogos are meant to be used as transportation. Maybe they are, though.β
Oh brother. Listen to her be ridiculous. βWhy not?β I asked. βWhy canβt you go places on them? What good are they if you canβt? Tell me that. I think this is a good idea. You donβt know a good idea when you hear one. You just you wish youβd thought of it.β
She groaned and shook her head. βWell, I hope you make it. If you do, then maybe Iβll try it. Itβs a long way to hop if you donβt have a motor. Thatβs more than three miles, Elsa. Thatβs a long way to go for a piece of gum. Iβll let you go and if you make it, Iβll go next.β
βIβm gonna make it.β
βMaybe you will. I didnβt say you wouldnβt.β
I stared. She didnβt vote for me so I started to brood. I brooded and I became even more resigned.
It was a big day when the pogo stick was delivered with the mail. It was black and chrome, and Henry was pleased, calling it a good-looking machine. Iβll say. It looked like a magic carpet to me. I didnβt really see the difference. Wide eyed, I couldnβt wait to get on it but I had to. Itβs not every day something new and shiny that you can go places on arrived in the desert, and everyone wanted a crack at it.
Have you ever tried to pogo? Itβs not a normal thing to do. Itβs doable but it is not a normal thing to do. You have to pay attention. It is not as easy as it looks in Dr. Seuss books, thatβs for sure. Worse, this was a deluxe pogo. It was designed for a two hundred-pound man, so very taut if you happened to weigh fifty-five like I did. Hereβs a tip: You have to bounce high and then pull up hard with your arms so that youβll come down hard or youβre over. Get it? You have to act like you weigh more than you do.
My brother took a hop or two or three and gave up the sport. My sister tried it out. She thought it was pretty much an overrated thing and twirled off. My grandfather was more determined. He was a double Capricorn and willing to persist in making an effort. He didnβt expect to hop on and ride. He expected to work hard and make slow progress toward mastering the thing.
Me? Well I was going to learn to ride the thing no matter what. Iβd use sheer will if necessary. I didnβt have many chances in life and when one was staring me in the face like this, well I had no intention of failing. See, I wanted to GO and I had just one freedom ticket out of here. My chance was this machine, so I WOULD learn to pogo because I knew I had places to go and people to see.
I daydreamed about this too, about being seen on my way to the store. My sister had a scarf, for example, and I planned to wear it when I hopped, kind of like Jackie O. Iβd look good hopping down the road and the faster I learned to ride this thing, the sooner Iβd be on my way, so I was mighty glad when the less determined fell off in the first five minutes. This translated to more pogo time for me, which was exactly what I wanted.
Later that evening, itβs my sister again.
βI donβt think youβre gonna be able to make it, Elsa. That thing isnβt easy. Itβs way harder than I expected. The store is a long way.β
βIβm pretty sure I can do it.β
βIf you think so. Maybe you can but I donβt think itβs going to be easy.β
βThat doesnβt matter. Iβm not busy. If I donβt learn, I canβt go to the store so Iβm gonna learn. I want to get out of here. Donβt you?β
βItβs too hard, Elsa. I know you want to go to the store but that thing is not going to be easy. It is just not an easy thing.β
I frowned at her. I thought she was being a pill. Thatβs my motherβs word, by the way. She always said, βDonβt be a pillβ.
I plotted, day and night. Now for some reason I planned to hop to the store without ever hopping off the pogo. In the cartoon movie in my mind, my hair was in the breeze as I hopped with glee and a big grin. I planned to hop all the way to the store, hop off and then park the pogo in front of the Circle K like a horse, since this is kind of the old West. I mean, people do ride horses to the store sometimes so I would be just like them, except my horse would be shiny and have a black coil. Iβd be proud too, because people do like their vehicles and Iβm a person, just like everyone else.
Iβd go into the store, smiling and greeting the other people in the world, and pick out my gum. Then Iβd stand in line to pay for it, still smiling because Iβm alive, before Iβd come back out, hop on the pogo and hop home. Feeling triumphant, of course. Donβt forget that part because I know what accomplishment is.
It never occurred to me I would hop three or ten hops, step off and then step back up for some more hops. In my movie, my feet never touched the ground, so this is what I was trying to achieve and the fact wasβI could pogo.
My grandfather was counting his hops. He could go three, four and then ten hops before falling off. He was getting better. He said it was fun once you got it going. I was counting my hops too but not for fun. To me, it was business and nothing but.
After a while, I realized I needed certain information so I asked my sister. She was my big sister, thatβs why. She was about twelve.
βHow many hops to the store, do you think?β
βHmm. How big of hops are you going to make?β
βHuh? What do you mean? Big as I can.β
βI donβt know. About five hundred. Five hundred big ones or one thousand smaller ones ought to do it.β
I stared at her and tried to figure out if she was tricking me, because that was a lot of hops! I thought she may be, but in the end I decided Iβd have to take her word for it. She was older than me and knew stuff like this better than I did, thatβs all. βOne thousand? Okay.β
So I practiced. And I practiced. And I practiced. I practiced for weeks and my grandfather was impressed. βYouβre gettinβ good at that, Elsie. I believe youβve got the hang of it.β
βYeah, Iβm going somewhere,β I said.
Eventually the day came when I could consistently jump over 500 hops without falling off the pogo, and this is when I decided I was ready to go. I wasnβt sure I could make it, but I was ready to try. For one thing, I was tired from all the practice, so by now I was ready to get this show on the road. This meant it was time to inform my mother and I was worried about this part. I planned to slip out, kind of. She was pretty much oblivious to the pogo. I was hopping all day at my grandfatherβs house and she wasnβt keeping track. I took a deep breath and went into her parlor, her studio that is, because she was an artist.
βHey Ma. Iβm going to the Circle K.β
βIs your grandfather taking you?β
βUh.β I looked at the floor and mumbled from the doorway. βNo. Erβ¦ Iβm going on the pogo.β
βWhat?β
βIβm going to ride the pogo up there.β
βYou are not.β
βYes I am. Iβm good at it. Iβve been practicing.β
βYou arenβt going to the store on a pogo stick or any other way.β
βWhat do you mean?β I whined. βIβll be right back. Iβm fast! I wonβt be long.β
βYou canβt go. No pogo stick to the store! Whatβs the matter with you? You canβt ride a pogo stick to the store.β
I had a conniption fit. Thatβs my mother talking again. She liked to say, βDonβt be a pill and donβt have a conniption fit about it,β but this is exactly what I did. Oh! I donβt mean Iβm a pill. Thatβs my sister. But the fit part?
Well, I begged and I pleaded with my mother. I backed against the edge of the doorway and slunk to the floor in case it helped, but it didnβt. This did not result in permission to pogo to the Circle K being granted.
Okay, fine. This is when I decided I would have to learn to drive. Because, see? One way or the other I was going to that damned store.
Training
No one was going to teach me to drive, were they? You can see how these people are. It was a given I was on my own so I didnβt even think about asking. I was going to have to teach myself but this was not such a big deal. I figured I could learn and it shouldnβt be all that hard.
I clued my sister in.
βIβm gonna take us to Circle K.β
She rolled her eyes. βOn a pogo?β
βNo. I have another idea. Iβm going to drive us.β
βWhat?β
βWeβll drive in Grandpaβs truck. Weβre gonna sneak.β
βSneak to the store? You donβt know how to drive his truck.β
See how she is? No imagination. βIβll learn. Iβm learning now. Iβve been learning for a while and when Iβm done, Iβll take us to the store. Are you going to come?β
βWell, I donβt know. This is a better idea than pogo-ing to the store. At least a truck has a motor. If you can learn to drive, then okay. Iβll come with you. But do you really think you can learn?β
βYes. I almost have it remembered now.β
βRemembered?β
βYeah. Uh huh. Thatβs what you have to do if you want to drive.β
She shook her head as if I were mistaken. βI think someone has to teach you.β
βYeah, they do. Or you can just remember, which is the way Iβm doing it. Do you think Grandpa will teach me to drive?β
βNo.β
βMe either. So Iβm going to remember instead.β
βWell, okay if you can do it. And I hope you can because I sure would like to get to the store.β
βI can! I can!β
My big chance came when we piled in my grandfatherβs truck to go somewhere. My sister ran interference so my brother couldnβt nab the spot I wanted. We sat in the cab with him, and I needed the spot right next to him so I could watch his feet on the pedals. Which one stops the truck? Which is the βclutchβ? This was critical info. I knew this, so I was really focused. I didnβt want to screw up, thatβs for sure. I knew I was doing something big.
The truck was an old Chevy with a stick shift. With three kids in the cab, I was pretty much right in the way when my grandfather shifted, so I could get a close look. It was up-first, downβsecond, then swirl to third. I watched carefully, alert for anything tricky, but it was always the same routine. Whee! I thought I could do it. How hard could it be?
There was nothing else to say. It all looked pretty doable to me, so I decided Iβd seen enough. In fact, I thought if I learned any more, Iβd only get confused. Iβd seen enough to become convinced I could drive if I remembered these moves. One, two, then swirl up. One, two, then swirl up. And listen to the motor because thatβs when you shift.
I didnβt worry about learning βRβ. It looked pretty fancy to get there and I was in nearly over my head as it was. I didnβt plan to drive backwards, did I? Of course not. I didnβt learn fourth gear either. Iβd heard it was for the highway. I wasnβt going to the highway, I was going to the Circle K. So that was it. I was done. I decided I was ready to drive at any time, and my sister was ready to ride.
We werenβt stupid though. We werenβt going to drive to the store first thing. I was going to drive in a circle around my grandfatherβs house and see if we got away with it. We were driving around his house, not the block. There were no blocks, okay? This was the middle of the desert.
My sister was going to ride with me. She was fully involved and had foreseen various potential pitfalls.
βWe have to go when it is not raining, otherwise he may see tracks.β
βRight. Good thinking.β
It was funny too considering it only rained for ten minutes three times a year in the desert. Iβd never seen βmudβ anywhere, outside of what we mixed to build our adobe house, but whatever.
βWeβll have to put the truck back where we got it. Do you think you can do it? He parks in the same place all the time and he knows where it is. Youβll have to line up to the edge of the garden the way he does.β
Oh brother. Does her pill-ness ever end? βI donβt know. I think so. Iβll try, if you donβt mind.β
βWell you better or weβre going to get caught.β
βOh shut up. Weβre not going to get caught.β
At least I hoped not. I didnβt see why we should. We were just going to the store and we werenβt even doing that yet. Why does she do this anyway?
I didnβt think we were going to get caught. I know she knows more than I do, but criminy. She dumped a pail of water on every good idea I ever had and if thatβs not a pill, then I donβt know what is.
Test Drive
My grandfather had two trucks. I suppose I could have driven both of them if I was able to drive either of them, but I didnβt know that. Iβd only studied one of them. I was going to take the old one, just in case. Both trucks were old, but I mean the old, old one.
Just in case of what? I had no idea. I didnβt think anything could happen. We were just going to go to the store and then come right back. No big deal. I was thinking ten minutes. Maybe fifteen. And whatβs that in the scheme of things? Days are long in the desert, so it was nothing, okay? It was nothing at all.
We had to wait for the right circumstance to present so we could take our dry run. My grandfather had to leave in the right old truck plus not take us with him. Given the chance, weβd go with him regardless of where he was going. This was our first choice and heβd take us most times, most places, so there was delay between the time of the plot and its execution.
We were only planning to steal his truck because weβre super, desperately bored. Imagine being a kid born with your engine revving all the time and living in an environment where people had no interest in movement. Take my mother, for example. She was an artist. Sheβd paint ten or twelve hours a day, maybe more. The last thing she wanted to do was quit painting, so there we were. Wake up each day and weβre goinβ nowhere. Until I thought of this, I mean. I am obviously a genius.
Practice day came. My grandfather took off to go βdowntownβ. We knew weβd have at least an hour – and that was a conservative estimate from the two Capricorn rising kids. Most likely heβd be gone half a day. We hid in the desert and watched him drive off. We waited ten or fifteen minutes to make sure he was too far gone to come back if heβd forgotten something and then we dashed to his house, low and sneaky-like.
βShhhhh.β I opened the door to the screened porch quietly, even though there was no one there to hear anything. I opened the unlocked front door to his house, reached up to grab the key hanging from the hook there, and we ran outside and hopped in the truck.
Sitting in the driverβs seat, I thought it was super cool, but I tried to hide my pleasure. I felt giddy, but I knew my sister was sitting there, ready to judge, so I only chuckled under my breath. It was just so damned exciting!
I had the beginning sequence down pat. I pushed in the clutch, turned the key and did various lurching moves. I couldnβt reach the pedals much, so I twisted and stretched and contorted and managed to get the truck going in first gear. My sister was pretty damned impressed and so was I; because say what you will β we were MOVING.
I looked over at her with big eyes and a huge grin. I was astounded! I was doinβ it!
I glanced back towards where I was going and saw a tree coming up fast, the way they do right before you hit them. Same time, my sister started screaming.
βTREE! TREE! YOUβRE DRIVING INTO HIS TREE! DO SOMETHING!β
She didnβt know that something was called βbrakeβ. This wasnβt her thing. She was interested in fashion, so I laughed because I knew she didnβt know what a brake was. She didnβt know how to play cards very well either, so she wasnβt so smart after all.
I was scared but I was still laughing, and you know I missed that tree when I hit the brake and turned the wheel hard, in effect overcorrecting. I killed the engine too. I wasnβt sure how I did that last one. I didnβt know how I killed the engine, but it didnβt really matter, did it? I didnβt hit the tree and that was the main point.
I looked over at my sister and smiled at her smugly, like I meant to do that, and then I restarted the truck. I was totally confident. Iβd done this before, but sheβs the way she is and she just had to complain.
βI hope you can do better this time. We canβt make it to Circle K if this is how you drive.β
βWeβll make it. Iβve just got to get used to this. But you can see I can do it and Iβll do better.β
βYou better do better, because I donβt want to drive into a tree.β
She gave me one of her big sister looks. βOh brother. Well, either do I, okay? Just be quiet and give me a chance to do this.β
βOkay. One more try. But just because I really want to go to the store. You have one more chance and you better not mess it up.β
I shook my head and then paid attention. I started the truck and got going again in first gear. I drove in a circle on the path that went around the house. It felt deceptively smooth and glide-y so it was easy to delude myself into thinking that I could, in fact, drive.
We cruised around the house all right, but I missed the stopping place. I failed to line the truck up with the edge of the garden. This meant I had to drive around again, this time trying to concentrate better. I laughed to myself because I thought it was a βbonus roundβ.
My sister started up. βThat wasnβt very good. You donβt drive very well. You donβt drive well enough to take us to the store. Weβll never make it.β
βOh cβmon. Weβre right back where Iβm supposed to put us. Iβm a great driver.β
βElsa! This is not good driving. You almost hit a tree!β
βI didnβt hit the tree! And that was my first time and Iβve already learned to watch out for trees. Iβve been driving for three minutes, and weβre back in the right place arenβt we? You canβt think Iβm not doing well. What did I do that is so wrong?β
βThe tree! YOU CANβT DRIVE TO CIRCLE K! You canβt drive!β
βOkay.β See how I have to placate her? βLet me just practice and see if I can drive a little better. Letβs go down the road a little bit.β
βWeβre not going to the store.β
I laughed and I blushed. βNot to the store. Did I say that? I know weβre not going to the store today. Weβre going to the store on a different day. We canβt go now. Weβve already used too much time! But letβs just drive on the road a ways, and see how I do. We have time for that. Letβs just see how well I can drive and then Iβll turn around and put the truck back right here where it goes.β
I pointed over to the edge of the garden. βYouβve gotta admit, I put the truck right back where it goes, very well. Not bad. Not bad, at all. Cβmon! What else is there to do? Youβve got to admit this is a lot of fun.β
βItβs not fun to drive into trees, but okay, Iβll go if you say. But you better drive better than you were, or else.β
βI will! I will!β
I turned the key and put the truck in gear. Credit me when I deserve it. I contorted my body, slipping down to get the clutch to the floor and I popped it in on the first try. Smooth, too. No grinding. I even let the clutch out slow. Iβd heard of this. Itβs called βeasy does itβ. Letβs face it. I was learning like a bat out of hell. I was matching words to actions and I was pretty sure I was born to drive, especially a truck.
Off we went, but this time I turned right. I guided the truck down a little path through the desert from the house, to the gates at the edge of the property. Man it was a great feeling. It may as well have been a plane or a submarine. Thatβs how it felt and did you notice whoβs in charge?
I noticed my own exhilaration as we coasted by the chicken coop and the compost pit. Not enough Oβs in smoooooth, but thenβ¦ crap! The fence posts that marked the gate were in sight and I wasnβt sure I could drive through them. Uh oh. I hadnβt thought about them. My grandfather was very proud of the posts. I didnβt remember why, but I didnβt think heβd like it if I knocked one down, thatβs for sure. I felt my heart in my throat.
The truck was moving. Iβd have stopped to think about this, but I was so enthralled and busy, Iβd completely forgotten the idea of βbrakes.β I was gleeful like a happy drunk, driving along, scraping creosote bushes all the way. I was bending back mesquite tree branches, snapping one off now and then, and this was a distraction – but weβre moving, arenβt we? So it was a great situation, except for the posts part. I was not overly concerned about the trees. My sister complained, but I told her it was the desert and it would all grow back. The posts up ahead were a different story, though. Odds Iβd make it through βem? I was thinking, fifty- fifty. It was a coin flip.
My sister started to whine. She was pretty agitated, actually, though I thought it was unwarranted. βYou drive like hell! You drive like shit! You canβt do this.β
I laughed at her. She was obviously wrong. βIβm doinβ it! Iβm driving right now! Shut up! Iβm going to point us through the gate.β
She wailed. βTurn around! Turn around now! Go back! You donβt point a vehicle. You donβt know what youβre doing Elsa. You said you knew how to drive.β
I yelled back. βTurn around where? Do you see room to turn around? Because I donβt! This is a one way thing. Shut up, why donβt you?! Itβs too late. We have to go to the road if you want to turn around! Shut up so I can make it through the gate! You just better let me think so I can point this thing or weβre gonna be in trouble, so shut up and let me drive!β
She screamed. She howled, but I made it through the gate. Okay, maybe I knocked a wing mirror in, but hey. Not too bad. And guess what?
OPEN ROAD!
I drove down it a ways with my sister screaming bloody murder the whole way. I got the truck into second gear and felt like I was flying. I was ecstatic. Woah! This is livinβ! Iβm DRIVING. I am Dryyyyyyβ¦ VING!!
Meanwhile, my sister screamed. What a pain, and Iβll tell you what, I decided if she kept it up, next time Iβd leave her home.
Judgment
I glided back in through the gate with problem NONE, but my sister was not impressed.
βYou are totally and completely insane, Elsa.β
I couldnβt believe her. It was obvious Iβd learned to drive but no applause, no nothing. She wasnβt just a pill, she was an unappreciative pill.
I drove around the house and stopped in a perfect line with the edge of the garden.
βHey! I just took you somewhere, didnβt I? Did we or did we not β go somewhere? You could at least shut up.β
βYou shut up!β
βYouβre the one who should shut up! Iβm the one driving, for chrissakes!β
βI think you better forget about driving to the store, Elsa.β
βWhat? What do you mean? I can get us there. I donβt drive great, but I drive good enough to go to Circle K.β
βNo you donβt. And if youβre going, youβre gonna have to go alone, because Iβm not riding with you.β
I couldnβt believe her. βWhat? I canβt believe you! What did we just do? We went down the road and I got us right back where we go and nothing happened.β
βNothing happened? Nothing happened? Youβre crazy. You hit all kinds of bushes. Do you think I didnβt notice that?β
βOh come on. I brushed a few. So what? Itβs a path! Itβs not even real road! I didnβt hit anything on the real road. Why donβt you think I can drive? Donβt you want to go to the store? If I donβt drive us, how else are we going to get there?β
βI do want to go to the store, but not with you driving. Because you, Elsa, are an awful driver. You almost hit a tree. You donβt even know how to drive through a gate normally. You almost hit that pole. You were pointing a truck over there. That right there proves that you donβt know what youβre doing.β
Well, my feelings were hurt, so I glared at her. βFine. Stay home then. I donβt like your yelling anyway. Iβm going to drive to Circle K. Iβm going to get some candy and Iβm not going to bring you anything back.β
βYou wonβt do it. You wonβt go by yourself.β
βYes, I will.β
βI donβt think so, Elsa. You donβt have the nerve to go alone. Youβre an awful driver and besides… youβre gonna get caught.β
βI drive better than you do,β I said. But she had twirled off.
Well, hell. Now what? I couldnβt believe Iβd learned to drive and could take people to the store and no one wanted to go. What the heck was wrong with these people anyway? It was a perfectly good opportunity to get out of here, thanks to me, and just look.
I thought about it awhile. I wondered if I could just forget about going to the store. Everyone else managed to do this but as a matter of fact, I couldnβt. I was going. Not this exact minute, maybe, but soon.
I found my sister. I hunted her down.
βIβm going to drive to the store, you know.β
βGet away from me. I already told you. Iβm not coming.β
βI didnβt say you. I said me.β
βWell, youβre going to get caught. Grandpa will notice the gas you use.β
Uh oh! I hadnβt thought of this.
βNo, he wonβt. Because Iβll buy some gas at the store.β
βYou mean now you think youβre gonna drive by yourself to the store, when you canβt even drive, and then youβre gonna get some gas?β She laughed.
βThatβs what I just said.β
βYou canβt do it. Youβll never do it. What money are you going to use? You canβt drive and you canβt get gas. You donβt know how to do either of those things. You arenβt going to make it. Youβre going to get caught or something else will happen.β
βI didnβt get caught so far.β
βElsa, just get away from me. I really think youβre crazy and Iβm sick of talking to you about your lousy driving. What happens if you get caught, huh? Did you think of that? Youβre not going to the store or anywhere else. Weβre just stuck out here and you may as well get used to it.β
βOkay, Iβll leave you alone then. But Iβm going and Iβm not bringing you back anything. Iβm going to have gum and you arenβt and Iβm not going to share it with you.β
She was out of patience. βIβm not going to worry about that because youβll never make it. Youβre not going to have any gum.β She said this snottily.
βYes I will,β I said. I glared at her, and then went off to brood.
Details!
A few days later, I was ready to go. My grandfather had gone to town in the right old truck. I had a few hours at least. I had my course mapped out.
Iβd decided to take the long way, on the real roads. To use the pure shortcut, I would have to drive by my house. My mother spent the day in her studio, which had a window to the road. I thought she might be looking through it when I drove by. It was possible.
I figured she might see the truck go by and think, there goes Grandpa, but maybe not. She might see it was me, or she might see him go by twice in two trucks. If that happened, she might get suspicious and if that happened, Iβd be screwed.
I tossed it around a good deal. The short way was faster, but I decided it was too risky, so I opted to drive on the regular roads. I figured she messed me up last time with the pogo, so Iβd best avoid her like the plague this time. And this was easy to do because I had a truck, didnβt I? So all I had to do was drive around her.
My decision changed things. It made this about a five-mile trip each way, for one thing, but there was a bonus in it. I would get to drive on real pavement rather than just dirt and this was an exciting prospect to me. Mostly I just wanted to get to Circle K and back, while looking good on the trip, but the pavement thing was noted. I wondered how it would be. I was betting that driving on pavement was cool and now I was going to find out.
The speed limit was forty-five MPH on the paved road, and sometimes there were sheriffs around. I knew how to avoid them though. According to my Grandpa, you do it like this:
βThe sheriff likes to patrol this road looking for speeders, but if you donβt do anything wrong, theyβll leave you alone,β heβd said.
I wasnβt going to do anything wrong and the fact I was going to make it was really obvious I wasnβt doing anything wrong. I planned to drive about twenty MPH, to take no chances. Iβd just be driving my truck to the Circle K, because I could, you know, like people do when they want to go somewhere. Iβd be someone who is going somewhere, nothing more than something very normal.
I had about seventy some odd cents, and I was ready to go. Fifty cents was designated gas money, and the rest? Well, I was going to blow it. I was going to buy anything I damned well pleased. I would decide when I got to the store and I planned to take my time making my selections. My sweet time, I mean.
The whole idea was to be somewhere and once Iβd arrived, I was gonna milk it for all it was worth. Just in case I got caught. And if I didnβt get caught? Then Iβd be going to the store all the time, wouldnβt I?
Road Trip!
I took off, a ten-year-old girl going down the road and by the way, I was driving very well. I was consistently scared and intermittently I panicked. When? Every time I had to stop or make a turn. But I drove beautifully in a straight line and I wasnβt putt-putting, either. I was cruising and thatβs no lie. Not that I was calm, but I was acting calm and doing a pretty good job of it. I thought this was pretty much the same thing.
I talked to myself the whole time.
βYep. Now youβre going to have to stop. You can do it. Foot goes on the brake, get the clutch. Whoops. Donβt kill the engine…β
As I got further from home, I became frightened and had an impulse to turn around, hurry back and forget the whole thing. I thought of it, but not for long. I have my pride. I definitely didnβt want to hear βI told you soβ from my big sister for the rest of my stinkinβ life, so I pressed on. Pressed on the gas pedal that is.
Once through the gate (smooth), I veered left onto the dirt road and drove about a mile before I came to a stop sign and needed to make a turn. I stayed in second gear and didnβt manage to stop but I did make the turn without killing the engine.
I thought this was impressive but on the downside, it hurt. I winced because I was pretty sure I got a bruise or a burn – or both of those – under my shirt, from twisting my body under the steering wheel to fight with the clutch as I turned the wheel. Ow! I was learning that truck driving was a fairly physical endeavor and I was a very scrawny kid. I yelped and I almost cried, but instead I recovered; because after making that corner, I was rewarded with a straight stretch nearly a mile long and this allowed me to regroup.
If I scooted to the edge of the seat I could reach the pedals and see pretty good. βPretty goodβ was good enough because there was no traffic. Matter of fact, I only passed one car. See what I mean? Piece of cake. My sister should have come and itβs her loss. Maybe this would teach her not to be a pill, huh? Because this was something she really needed to learn.
Henryβs truck couldnβt be missed because it was covered in bumper stickers. It wasnβt covered with bumper stickers like some sort of crazy hick or some AAA retired traveler type person, but it had a few and they were distinctive.
See, my grandfather was interested in flying saucers. He had a real passion, actually. He was a member of every Space People friendly club that existed. He traveled out of state each year to attend the National Flying Saucer Convention. He was a fervent believer that space people were real and his truck said so, like this:
βFlying Saucers Are Realβ
And like this:
βSpace People Are Our Friendsβ
So the stickers were easy to spot and hard to miss, but they didnβt seem unusual to me. Personally, I wasnβt certain Space People were around, but if any were to show up, I would definitely greet them. My grandfather taught me to be friendly and kind to people on the road. He said we were fellow travelers and if Space People arenβt travelers, then I donβt know who is.
Next thing I knew, I was half way there and Iβd just left. Nothing had happened. Nothing. It seemed this was an okay thing to do. It was something that was working out.
Another minute and it was time to turn onto the pavement. Whew! That was fast. I was a kid and Iβd never moved so fast independently. I noticed and knew it was extreme magic.
I gotta get me one of these, I thought casually, in between fighting to keep calm. And I continued to talk to myself, to stay on task.
βThis is me. Iβm just going to the store in my truck because I happen to need some gum and a little gas. And this is what you do if youβre a normal person, which I am, who is just very nonchalantly minding my own business, doing a little errand in my truck, and then coming straight home and parking the truck where it goes. Thatβs it. Itβs simple and itβs no big deal. Itβs a regular thing that people do, and Iβm a person and this is normal. I am definitely normal and doing a regular thing you do, on a regular normal day of life.β
Blah, blah, blah. Before I knew it, I was so close to the Circle K I absolutely had to follow through. I was going to make it, you know? Iβd reached the point of no return and it occurred to me the main thing about driving is you get somewhere in a blink, pretty much. It was definitely swift. Now, I wasnβt exactly comfortable, and this was unfortunate. However, I was going somewhere, so I wasnβt going to complain. I donβt like people who whine when they travel. It bugs me.
Every time I turned the truck and it didnβt tip over, I was astonished, and I took it as proof I knew what I was doing. Do I tip the truck? No, I donβt. When I drove straight, the wonderment was replaced by pure glee because I was sure that I was totally fantastic to have learned this.
I was so confident, I wiggled the wheel back and forth as I drove so I could see what it was like – and it was pretty cool. It proved to me that I was actually driving and not just riding on a track, because it kind of felt that way. It felt like I was on a train riding a groove to the store and not really responsible for making it happen, so I checked this. Like pinching myself, I verified I was real, and yep, I was. There was no track. I was totally and completely driving and having no problems either, so this meant my sister made a bad choice and I made a good one, didnβt it?
The pavement was nice and exactly the bonus I thought it would be. I was immediately glad Iβd chosen the long way, because now I had this extra thing to brag to my sister about. I used to read the Guinness Book of World Records, and this is what I thought I was doing. That, or maybe the Olympics. I was going for the gold and looking good going into the final stretch. I had no scarf because my sister wouldnβt let me wear hers, which was brutally unfair. I didnβt know why she was the way she was. I thought she should definitely be more like me but she never thought this because she was old, I guess.
I did wish someone could see me but on the other hand maybe not, because it might jinx everything and send me smashing into a tree. And please, not a sheriff, okay? I watched the speedometer carefully. I wasnβt speeding but thought they might think I was and I didnβt want that.
I have to admit it was more pressure than I thought itβd be. I kind of had to pee too and I hadnβt anticipated that either. I had a fair amount of angst, so I thought about Snoopy on his doghouse, going on an adventure, and this snapped me back to the right frame of mind. That dog could fly and he wasnβt worried. And it wasnβt really real, was it? It was barely happening. Hey! If no one knows Iβm doing this, is it real?
I turned off the pavement into the desert to take the second leg of the short cut, having driven around the first. I couldnβt believe it. I was almost there and no sheriffs had bothered me. No sheriffs were going to either because the path was a path, not a road. It was downhill now and this was when I began to worry about the gas.
The gas thing was bothering me greatly. I didnβt understand gas. I truly expected to get away with the driving but thought the gas might get me caught. Was fifty cents enough gas? Would I be able to figure it out at the pump? Iβd never pumped gas, but Iβd watched plenty of times and it didnβt seem very tricky.
I really wanted to get away with what I was doing. I wanted to go to the store. Well, actually I wanted to go to the store whenever I wanted, but I also wanted my sister to be βnot rightβ. She was right too often for my tastes and it got tiresome. I wanted to show her and this is what I was thinking when I pulled out from the edge of the desert and sailed across the highway (whoops, forgot to stop!) and rolled into the Circle K parking lot.
Gas
I pointed the truck at the gas pumps. There were two pumps on a raised, oval-shaped, concrete island, about a foot high. Youβre supposed to pull up alongside them to get your gas. Thatβs the goal, but next thing I knew the driverβs side front-tire popped up onto the island and the front corner of the truck lifted off the ground.
YIKES!
I quickly turned the wheel back, just before I took the pump out, which caused the tire to slip off the island and plunk down on the pavement where it goes.
BOUNCE!
The truck bounced like that, and I thought, βshocksβ. Woah. It was scary. The truck was a pretty big machine when you think about it, so I decided not to think about it.
There was a man getting gas on the other side of the pumps. He jumped back when the truck came up on the island, threatening to knock him over with a gas pump. But once I landed, he came back to get the pump handle out of his car. He looked at me quizzically and then got in his car and drove off and I was glad about that.
I was real glad because I was supremely embarrassed. I needed to get a grip too and this would be easier to do privately. I didnβt want to look around and note who else may have seen me do this. If I didnβt see them, they didnβt see me, right? I thought so.
I thought fast and decided my best bet was the old βI meant to do that.β What else could I do? Since there was nothing I could do, I figured, I may as well forget about it. The witness was gone and I didnβt see anyone else who saw. I was here, now, so how about I get some gas? Yeah. Having this settled, I relaxed and got back to what I was doing. What was I doing? Oh yeah. The gas.
See, in my mind, everything hinged on the gas. I thought the gas was do or die. I felt my heart pounding because the way I saw it, if I couldnβt get gas, I was going to get caught, and I if I could? Well, if I could get gas, then I could go places whenever I wanted, which basically meant I owned the world.
I got out of the truck and I put fifty cents worth of gas in the tank. It was easy. It was simple. It was so simple I had to giggle. My sister was a dummy for staying home. This was too, too easy. I was so cool, and now I was composed as well, to an extent, anyway.
I replaced the gas nozzle and walked inside the store to pay with my sweaty coins. Iβd held them in my left hand during the whole drive because I didnβt want to lose them in the crack of the truck seat, and paying for gas was not a problem.
My grandfather sent me in to pay for gas from time to time, so I didnβt expect trouble. I expected they would think there was an adult outside pumping, but it wasnβt quite as leisurely in the store as I expected. I guessed that almost hitting that pump must have affected me after all. Would everyone have died? Was that almost a catastrophe? I didnβt know. Iβd heard gas was dangerous. Was this as bad as lighting a match? Lighting a match around gas is very bad. Is hitting gas with a truck worse? Or better?
I told myself to shut up. βProbably nothing happens if you run over a gas pump, stupid.β But I was glad my sister didnβt see it. Sheβd be screaming for sure, wouldnβt she? Oh brother, the mouth on that girl.
I reminded myself that only one person saw the mishap and heβd driven off. So I really should just forget about it. Fact is, I didnβt hit it and I was here at the Circle K, so how about I get some candy?
Inside the store I got a BIG HUNK candy bar and I donβt know what else, but I spent all my money and no one made any remarks. My terror was huge and I have to admit this was not as fun as I thought it would be. Still mighty worthwhile though, when you considered I would be able to go home and show my sister all my candy. Iβd just leave the fear part out when I told her. Iβd leave the gas pump part out too.
Iβd have liked to be more leisurely in the store but I had to pee, remember? I did have to pee, so I needed to get going.
I left the store and I climbed in the truck to go home. I felt kind of giddy because Iβd obviously hit the ball clean out of the park. Iβd done everything I planned to and I thought my problems were over. I thought I had it made in the shade, but I was sorely wrong.
Trouble
Now, I already knew I had a small dilemma. Parked at the gas island, Iβd either have to put the truck in R and back up, or drive straight away and around the back of the store to leave. This is just the way the store was laid out and I didnβt think of it beforehand. I couldnβt drive backwards, so it would seem I would have to drive forward and around the back of the store. The decision was not that simple because I didnβt know what was back there. I didnβt know what was behind Circle K.
Could it even be done? Can you drive around the back of a Circle K? Maybe there would be a wall back there. Or a moat. Or a dragon. Or I didnβt know what. Maybe there was something back there that would prevent me from making it βround.
I could have walked back there and checked it out, but I was afraid this would draw attention. Turns out, I wasnβt as keen on being seen as I thought Iβd be. I just wanted to get home quickly now. Ten or fifteen minutes had passed since I left but it felt like an hour and a half.
Should I take my chances behind the store? Or should I back up? Take a chance, forward? Take a chance, back? I have that wee bit of Libra in my chart, so it was hard to decide.
If I backed up, Iβd have to hope there was nothing behind me, because I had no idea how to use the mirrors. I knew you needed them, though. When my Grandpa backed up, he said, βMove your head, so I can use the mirrorβ. In fact, this was exactly why they put mirrors on trucks. Theyβre for rear-view, which means βsee behind youβ. Hmm.
Iβd never put a truck in R, itβs true, but I did know where it was. It was way over, push down and down. βMove your leg so I can put it in reverse.β Thatβs what my Grandpa said, so I knew all about it. But he also said it was hard to put a truck in reverse, especially this one. Iβd taken his word on that and thought I shouldnβt even try to do it until I was older. Like maybe twenty or so. Because I wasnβt trying to do something hard, I was trying to do something easy.
In the end, I decided going forward would be my best bet. I didnβt know what was behind the store. I just couldnβt imagine, but it didnβt matter anyway, and hereβs why.
The truck wouldnβt go.
What the hell?
I started the truck and put it in first gear but it didnβt move.
Huh?
I heard some sort of grinding noise and then the engine died. I didnβt understand and I panicked slightly and then thought it must be a sign. Obviously, forward was a bad pick so I decided to put the truck in R and just learn as I go. Iβd better do something, right? Before people saw me and started to stare.
I leaned on the stick and put the truck in gear. It just swung right into R, which was clearly a complete miracle, but the truck still wouldnβt go. Um, Iβm not joking. The truck would not go.
I almost burst into tears but I didnβt. I was struggling when another person pulled up to get gas. Oh no! It was so embarrassing. This was one of my major concerns. I was afraid someone would see me not being cool. It was happening, and it was happening now.
I tried to cover. I continued to struggle and make various faces. I hoped to look competent to this peer of mine who was also getting gas. I made faces like βthese damn trucks, sometimes they do this,β and I hoped I was fooling the guy.
Frustrated, and because there was a witness, I gave up on βRβ and went back to try the familiar first gear. I thought surely it would work. I didnβt do anything! I didnβt do anything to break the truck, so how could it not be going?
I decided to start at the beginning, and roll the dice regarding what was back behind the store. Heck, maybe I could just pull around behind the store, stop the truck and regroup. Yeah. Go in one end, all panicked, come out the other, all cool. It wasnβt a bad idea but for one problem. The truck wouldnβt move. I couldnβt go backward and I couldnβt go forward, and I couldnβt figure it out.
I told myself to calm down. My grandfather said getting excited never helps anything. He said you can think better with a cool head and it had to be something simple, right? I was sure it was something really stupid causing this. Was I turning the key wrong?
I wished the other gas customer would leave. I thought he was affecting my thinking, because I was so nervous. I thought the problem must be panic. I wished heβd get the hell out of there, but instead he clued me in.
He pointed down at the front tire and I looked at him like, βYou mean me?β even though I knew, he meant me.
βHuh?β I answered.
βYou arenβt going anywhere.β
βHuh?β So he did notice me. He did see me, and I felt embarrassed. βUmβ¦ Why not?β
βCome on. Come look. Youβll have to get out and look.β
Oh crap. Iβm ten. I thought Iβd look even more ten if I got out of the truck, but what could I do?
I hopped out of the truck to see what had happened, telling myself that this guy and I were two peers on the road. Weβre fellow travelers, is all. Heβs a Space Person and a Good Samaritan and this is normal. People are friendly on the road and this guy is a friend who means no harm, so I should just calm down and think well.
I exhaled and getting out of the truck it dawned on me. It must be a flat tire! Did I have a flat tire? Oh crap, if I do. Why didnβt I think of that and oh the rotten luck. Iβd get caught for sure and my sister would have a field day.
But maybe not! Iβd never changed a tire, but this didnβt mean I couldnβt teach myself on the spot. I knew there was a tire-changing thing behind the seat. There was a shovel too, for trouble on the road, like if youβre stuck in a mud hole or sand. I was prepared, all right, but it wasnβt going to help me because I didnβt have a flat tire.
At Circle Kβs in the era, there were concrete, cylinder-shaped poles sticking up around gas islands. They were painted red as in WARNING. They were about two-and-a-half feet tall and four or five inches in diameter, and they were immovable. They were intended to prevent people from driving up onto an island and taking out a pump and this was the problem. I was impaled on one of them.
Yup.
How?
When I drove up onto the island then cut the wheel hard, the front tire slid off and the truck crashed down on top the pole. The pole was jammed tightly between the body of the truck and the backside of the front bumper, so basically I was pinned to the mat and what you call βwholly screwedβ.
Crap!
The Good Samaritan asked, βHowβd that happen?β
βUm, I donβt know.β
He looked at me queerly. βWhat are you going to do? How are you going to get it off there?β
βI donβt know. Do you have an idea?β
He shook his head. βNot really. Is this your truck?β
βYes. I mean, no. Itβs my grandfatherβs. Iβm just getting him some gas.β
βAnd you got stuck like that?β
βLooks like.β I tried to sound casual, with my ears pricked up for a hint.
βWhat are you going to do?β
βI donβt know. I canβt believe this.β I put my hand to my cheek. βI have to get it off that pole.β
βYouβve got a real problem. I wish I could help you, but I really donβt know what to do. Why donβt you walk over to the service station and see if someone over there will help you?β
Hooray! It was an idea! I was highly grateful. It was a place to start and I sorely needed one. I mean, it wasnβt like I could call someone. We didnβt have a phone!
βYeah. Okay. Iβll go over there now,β I said, and then remembered my traveler manners. βThank you! Thank you very much!β
βGood luck, hon. Hope you get that truck home.β
He got in the car and took off. Perfect. He gave me an idea and better yet, he left! I really needed to get my legs under me, and I did it in about 10 seconds, because I was in a hurry. I had to pee for one thing but besides that, what if my mother was calling me? I didnβt think she was, but she might and what if she was?
Well, actually, I had this covered. Iβd struck a deal with my sister before I left.
βWhat if Mom calls you?β my sister asked, poking holes in my plan.
βI donβt know. Iβm not home. Tell her I went somewhere.β
βWent somewhere? Like where? Where should I say that you went? To visit a cactus? Hmm? To the neighborβs house? We donβt have any neighbors! You arenβt very smart.β
I groaned. βOh shut up. Hey! The mail! Tell her that I went to the mailbox.β
The mailbox was at least a quarter mile away.
βElsa, the mail doesnβt get here until noon. Or even one!β
βSo? So what? Tell her I went to see if it came early. It comes early, sometimes.β
βEarly, yeah. But not that early. It never comes before eleven. Sheβs not going to believe that.β
βYes she is. She doesnβt care anyway. So I walked to the mailbox. Big deal. Itβll work. What is she going to call me for anyway? Sheβs not going to call me.β
βProbably not, Iβll admit it. But she may.β
βWell, if she does, just tell her Iβm practicing my cartwheels to the mailbox, okay?β
βIs that the best you can come up with?β
βOh come on. Thatβs pretty good. Sheβll believe it. She knows I like to get the mail and she knows I like to cartwheel, so what else is there? Will you do it?β
βYouβll have to pay me.β
I groaned again. βOkay, okay. So what do you want?β
βBring me back some candy. Thatβll do it.β
βWell thatβs going to be hard to do, isnβt it? I have to drive to the store to get your candy so you keep me out of trouble, okay?β
βI will, I will.β
But my sister couldnβt lie forever. I needed to get home. It was about ten oβclock in the morning, but I was cautious enough to think it was going to get dark if I didnβt hurry.
Now the good thing is if this happened, I was prepared. I knew how to turn on the truckβs headlights, just so you know. I understood all the buttons in the truck but if it got dark, my grandfather would be home and I did think heβd notice his truck was gone and if that happened?
Well thatβs not going to happen, okay? I didnβt deserve that kind of trouble. Because really, I was a very good kid, though hardly anyone knew it. I knew it though. I was a fine, fine kid.
The gas station next to the Circle K was foreign to me, due to the grease thing. I didnβt like grease and mechanics. I wasnβt drawn to it, but that hardly mattered now, did it? I walked over, trying to look tall, old and confident.
My heart was pounding as I passed their gas islands and peeked my head into the garage. Boy, did I have to pee. Iβd have asked to use a restroom, but I already needed a favor and decided Iβd better prioritize. There were three men in there, doing what mechanics do. I stood up straight at the edge of their territory. βHello?β
Iβd interrupted them and they didnβt like it. I saw this was a no customer zone but it was too late now.
βYeah? What do you need?β
βUm, I came from the Circle K,β I said, pointing west to stall while I tried to think. βThe one over there.β As soon as I said it, I thought it was stupid because it was ten miles to the next Circle K.
βYeah? What do you want over here?β
βUmβ¦ My truck is stuck over there and I canβt get it off. Someone said to come ask if you could help me.β
βWhat do you mean, stuck?
βItβs stuck on a pole by the gas. A red pole.β
One of them started to laugh. Then they all started to laugh. I was embarrassed but they were pretty jolly so I laughed a little bit too – while I continued to focus, of course.
βDid you just say you canβt get your truck off? You canβt get it off a pole?β He laughed. βThat is what you said.β They all laughed. βDid your Mom send you over here?β
βNo.β
βYour Dad?β
βNo.β
βWell who sent you, then? Who are you with?β
βIβm with me.β
βWith you? Like me, myself, and I?β
I nodded.
βThen who is driving the truck?β
βUh,β I wondered if I should lie, but decided not to. βMe. I am.β
Oh man. They laughed their heads off. They were all incredulous and I blushed.
βLemme get this straight – You have a truck, a real truck, and youβre driving by yourself and itβs stuck on a pole by the gas?β
βYes. Right. Thatβs right, it wonβt move. I tried.β
βYou tried? You tried to get your truck off the pole?β
They laughed like hell. I was totally embarrassed, but couldnβt help laughing at their laughing, so we were all laughing. I thought they liked me but I also thought I could be wrong about that.
βAnd you want us to help you?β
βUm, yes. Yes, I do.β
βClyde! Go over to the K with her and see what sheβs talking about.β
I crossed my fingers, in my head. I might get out of this yet.
The boss said, βGo show Clyde your truck, kid.β
I nodded like an idiot because Iβd lost my voice.
I walked back to the Circle K, with Clyde following. He wasnβt talking. All in a dayβs work. This seemed to be his style. He didnβt laugh at me when I showed him the truck and I was grateful.
βHowβd you do that?β
βI donβt know.β This was my story.
βIβd sure like to know how you did that. Youβre stuck all right.β
I didnβt answer. I did hold my breath.
βGood news and bad news,β he said.
I held my breath.
βGood news is Iβm pretty sure we can get you off there.β
My heart soared, but I held my breath for the bad news.
βThe bad news? Weβre going to need some help.β
Oh crap! Does this mean we need the sheriff? The fire department? What?
Clyde didnβt say. He turned to go back to the garage and I followed. I wasnβt letting him out of my sight, are you kidding?
βYep, sheβs stuck but good, over there.β
βHowβd she do it?
βShe doesnβt know.β He laughed. βYou ought to come take a look. We can get her unstuck. Iβm pretty sure we can get her off her pole, but Iβm going to need some help.β He stops to laugh. βBut itβs gonna take two of us, at least.β
Two, huh? I felt bad. Iβd caused a problem and now two people had to bail me out. But it looked like they were going to do it, so hooray. I stood, holding my breath while they discussed it. I heard, βjack βer upβ and βthat should work.β
The boss picked up a shop rag to wipe his hands. βHow about we all go! I want to go over and see what sheβs done.β
I swooned with gratitude, then walked back to Circle K with three men following behind me. I was in more of a hurry than they were. I had to pee for one thing, and I had a mother waiting for another, but I didnβt say anything because they didnβt need to hear my problems. I felt lucky as it was, and relieved. My grandfather was right. People do help each other.
The men had tools. They had lots of tools and one of them was dragging a floor jack. I had no idea what he planned to do with it, but I knew a floor jack was an expensive tool, so I knew I was especially lucky. And whatever they were going to try, I sure hoped it worked.
We got to the truck and the main guy looked at me and squinted. He was the boss and he liked me. I could tell for sure now and I wanted to keep it that way.
βThat your truck?β
βYes.β
βYou drove that truck? That truck right there?β
βYes.β
βUm, you drove that truck?β
βYes.β
βBy yourself?β
βYes.β
He laughed. I think he called me a βpisserβ. I wasnβt sure, but I did know I had to pee.
βDo you think you can drive it some more?β
βUh huh.β
βOkay, get in.β He laughed. βWeβre going to jack up the front end and when youβre clear of the pole, weβll push you backward off the jack. If this works, then you go home, okay?β
βOkay.β
βBut wait. First, do you have any money?β
Oh crap! βNo.β
βYou came to the store with no money.β
βUmβ¦ I bought gasβ¦β I didnβt think I should mention my candy.
βYeah. Well, we see that. Youβre stuck on a pole. You just drove your truck here to get some gas, eh? And you spent all your money and now you want us to help you for free?β
I didnβt answer. That was exactly what I wanted, but I wasnβt going to say anything. Would you?
He laughed. βOkay. No charge then.β
All the men laughed.
βWeβre not going to charge you a cent. Not a penny. Itβs worth it, just for the entertainment.β
I didnβt understand. I didnβt know what the hell he meant. What is entertaining about this, anyway? Whatβs funny about having to pee and being stuck on a pole with a truck youβve stolen?
He smiled at me. βIβm picking on you, kid. Youβre just a kid. Youβre a hell of a kid.β He points at the truck and asks again. βYou really drove this truck?β He slapped the hood. βThis truck right here?β
βYes.β
βWell, Iβm gonna believe you. You ainβt a liar, are you kid? You can drive?β
βYes. I drive that truck. No, Iβm not a liar.β
βOkay! Then get in your truck, little lady.β
I quickly slipped by the pump and got in the truck. They seemed to know what they were doing. It was looking like I was going to get out of this. Can you believe it? I thought it was amazing. A few minutes earlier I thought the truck was stuck for life!
The boss yelled to me, βPut it in neutral. You know neutral, right?β
βYes!β I put the truck in N and wiggled it like a maniac to verify. I definitely didnβt want to screw up and piss them off. Boy, did I have to pee. I wished I could cross my legs, but it was out of the question. I had to pay attention and make this work on the first try. I figured if I did something stupid, or if this became more difficult than the men anticipated, Iβd be back on my own, for sure and guess what? There was no other service station, so where was my next idea going to come from, huh? Sure! I knew what to do but where was I gonna get another floor jack?
βYouβre going up now,β the boss yelled to me.
I was going up, all right and it was scary. It was also really cool and I thought for a second it may have been worth all this, to have this bonus adventure. And too bad my sister couldnβt see, because the front end of the truck was way in the air, so how about that?
βOkay! Youβre clear! Youβre clear the pole.β
I didnβt answer. I didnβt really know what he meant. I wasnβt an engineer, so I just hovered in space and waited for more information with my senses heightened.
He yelled again. βYou ready?β
Ready? Ready for what? I tried to think what he meant as they pushed me off the jack and over the pole, but I was a little light on the driving experience. I didnβt know what to expect and from there, things happened quickly.
I plopped down and started rolling backwards down the parking lot, at the same time veering to the left – which was very bad. There was a drainage ditch that ran along the side of the Circle K. It was at least fifteen feet deep and I was rolling right back to the edgeβ¦ CRAP!
This is when I started to panic, while the three men ran after the truck yelling, βBRAKE!!!!!! BRAAAAAAAKKE!!!!!!!β
I hit the brake just before I went over the edge of the parking lot and rolled down the side of the ditch, and all three men rushed up to the truck window.
Get this. I was on a steep incline, wanting to roll backwards. My butt was off the truck seat, because I was standing on the brake while pulling up on the steering wheel. I was almost as wholly screwed as I just was, except now it was worse because now I was panicked. I thought I might cry, but I tried to stay brave and I still had to pee.
βWhat if they leave me here?β I thought.
The boss came up to the driverβs side window and started talking to me. He was calm too. He was cool beyond cool and I didnβt feel stupid. I felt like I was going to be all right, just because he was there. He did like me and I didnβt think he was going to let anything happen to me. I could see this. I mean, I could feel it.
βOkay. The emergency brake is on, but I want you to keep your foot on the brake, anyway. I thought you drove a little better than this.β He chuckled. βLook, kid. Whatβs your name?β
βElsa.β
He smiled. βElsa.β He reached in the truck like he was going to shake my hand, and then laughed. There was no way I could shake his hand and I laughed, because he was so clever.
βListen, Elsa. As long as you leave your foot on the brake, youβre gonna be okay. So thatβs what youβre going to do.β
He reached in the truck and pulled the emergency brake.
βThere. Do you know what that is?β
βThe emergency brake?β
Damn! Why didnβt I think of that? I was in an emergency and I should have pulled the emergency brake! Now they knew for sure I was stupid. But never mind that. He pulled the HAZARD to make the red lights blink in the back of the truck, which I thought was really cool. Like a marquee! Well, it wouldnβt have been cool if the guy wasnβt there, but since he was and since he wasnβt going to let anything happen to meβ¦ well it was cool. It was an event and I was the star β complete with red lights blinking.
βRight. Thatβs what it is. So Elsa?β
βYeah?β I smiled.
βKeep your foot on the brake.β
βYeah?β
βAnd if you ever decide to take the truck out again and something like this happens, youβll know what to do. What do you do?β
βPull the emergency brake?β
βRight. Thatβs right. Got your foot on that brake?β
βUh huh.β
He glanced at my candy. He spied my Big Hunk lying on the truck seat. βThat your candy?β
βUmβ¦ Yeah.β
He laughed. βYou wanted some candy, huh?β
I nodded, embarrassed.
βWell, you got it. Now all we have to do is get you home, and kid?β
βYeah?β
βIβm sorry about this. One of us should have gotten in the truck to help you.β
I didnβt answer that. I took his word for it. Heβd know because heβs an adult and obviously, this was his business. I didnβt have a business and I didnβt really know that much. I knew less than I thought, anyway, so I just listened.
βOkay. So, just stay how you are and let me think.β
He scratched his head like a cartoon guy, so I laughed. Really, he was darn amusing. He said it again. He called me a pisser again and this time, I heard it for sure, but I didnβt know what that was. I planned to look it up in the library and find out, if I got out of this mess, I mean. I stopped daydreaming and tried to look alive.
βGot your foot on the brake?β
I nodded furiously and he laughed. βI know you do, kid. I mean, Elsa. Iβm gonna call you by your name. You deserve it. Iβm just testing you, Elsa.β
I didnβt answer that. No idea what to say, so I just stared.
βOkay. Letβs try again. I think my heart is beating normally again. You almost caused me a heart attack.β
βSorry.β
βItβs okay. Donβt you worry about it. But how about we get you out of here, because you really did just about stop my heart.β
βUh.β I nodded again. I had to pee so bad, it was ridiculous. Iβd be nicer, or more fun or something, but criminy. I needed a toilet and I needed it quickly, so Iβm sorry to say, but I really wished heβd quit talking and heβd figure this out.
βOkay, hereβs the plan. Just stay how you are. Keep your foot on the brake. Push the clutch in and Iβm going to reach in and turn the key for you. Can you get it in gear?β
βYes.β
βOkay. First gear. Donβt let off the brake until youβre on the gas. Got that?β
Standing on the brake, I answered, βYes, got itβ and I hoped I was right about that.
βGot it?β
βYes.β
βOkay. Push in the clutch.β
I pushed the clutch in. He turned the key and the truck started right up.
βThis is a pretty good truck,β he said. βListen to her.β
I nodded and I smiled because it was a great truck. I loved this truck, my truck, I mean, because Iβm the driver.
βOkay. Iβm going to release the brake. Not your brake. The emergency brake. Keep your foot pushed down hard. Iβm going to take my brake off and then youβll be able to go. If thereβs a God in heaven, I mean. Do you think thereβs a God in heaven, Elsa?β
βUmβ¦ I donβt know.β
βWell weβre just going to have to pray there is. Are you ready?β
Does he mean pray, now? Maybe not. βYeah. Iβm ready.β
βWell, Iβm ready too. Here we go. And donβt run over my foot, okay?β
I smiled. I knew that was a joke. This was a smart guy. He was way too smart to leave his foot in the way. He reached in the cab and released the emergency brake.
βOkay, Elsa. Put the truck in gear and go!β
I put the truck in gear, let out the clutch, lifted off the brake, pushed down on the gas, and drove to level ground.
HOLY SHIT. I did it. Okay! I was astounded! This was my greatest trick ever. Iβm definitely magic and anyone who doesnβt think so is crazy.
I stopped on level parking lot, and the boss ran up to the truck. βAre you okay? Are you good to go? Can you make it home?β
I had trouble answering. I was pretty choked up, partly over my own excellence. βYes. Thank you.β
He smiled. βYouβre ok, kid. Youβre a heck of a kid. Drive straight home, okay? Youβll make it, but I donβt think you better take the truck out again.β He laughed. βUntil youβre a little older.β
I didnβt really know what to say. I was from the desert and didnβt go many places. I didnβt meet many people, close up, so I fumbled. βThank you. Mmm, bye.β
βHave a good day! Bye!β
βBye!β
They all waved as I drove off. Woah! Can you believe it? Iβm free!
I drove across the highway, this time making sure no cars were coming since I knew the men were watching. I wanted them to see how good I was at driving. Professional, even.
Across the highway, I disappeared into the desert on the other side. As soon as I knew I was out of sight I started to cry a little. Not a sob or anything. I mean, for what? Everything was okay, except I had to pee so it was more like a little relief gasp. I quickly put the whole thing out of my mind the best I could.
Should I pull over and pee in the desert? I thought about it but look what happened the last time I stopped the truck. Since Iβm not stupid, I decided to hold it. I was moving in the right direction and I thought I should keep it that way.
I was tempted to take the short way home and drive by my house to see if anything was up. If there was activity or it looked like I was in trouble – well I may not want to go home at all. Even if I did go home, at least Iβd have advance notice that crisis was waiting.
I was frightened and this would have gotten me to a toilet faster, but in the end I decided to stick with my original plan. After all, this had gone pretty well. I had a Big Hunk to prove it, so I took the pavement way home.
I guided the truck through the fence poles, circled the house and pulled the truck into place, lined up with the garden. I hopped out, candy in hand instead of money now, so this was major progress and triumph. I tore into my Grandpaβs house to replace the keys and then I used the bathroom.
It was a risk because I didnβt want to have him drive up and catch me in there. Itβd look suspicious donβt you think? I wasnβt going to visit him until the next day and Iβd be casual when I did. Anyway, I got to pee, so that was good. Then I ran out the front door, across the screened porch and down the path through the desert to my parentβs house to find my sister, who was waiting outside, all frantic.
βWhere the hell have you been? Did you make it? Where did you go? Do you know how long youβve been gone?β
I held up my candy. βTold you!β
βYou went! You actually did it? You really went all the way to the Circle K? Well, you almost got caught. Youβre lucky you didnβt.β
βShe found out I was gone?β I meant my mother.
βNo. But only because youβre lucky. She never came out of her room. Elsa! You actually went all the way to the store by yourself.β
βUh huh.β I beamed. βWant some candy?β
The End.
Looking for more true stories? Iβll list them here as I get them published.
This is such a great story! I felt like I was in the truck too, with my heart in my mouth and the urge to pee overwhelming! Such great storytelling!
Pretty darn plucky of you! And to get so good on a pogo stick too.
I tried one once and remember how difficult it was to keep your balance let alone steer the thing. What a delighful story! Like the other comment, I felt your nervousness & need to pee also. Curious if word of your exploit ever got back to your grandfather or Mom? Bravo.
Damn, Elsa. You are a good story teller! Very entertaining. Thank you. Now I gotta see if I can find the story you mentioned the other day. I didn’t get to that one yet. Looking forward to it. Btw, I also love your videos and your posts! Thanks for the laughs!
Here’s the other story I’ve posted… lot’s of swearing but so worth it. π
https://elsaelsa.com/california/
Enjoy!
You’re STILL a helluva kid Elsa! What a great story!
Cute insight into a dear astrologers life. Thanks for sharing.
The ten year old mind comes through the story and is very entertaining. What happened with Grandpa?
Grandfather is, Henry, who was a force of nature by anyone’s standard.
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/henry-in-his-own-words-double-capricorn-stellium-in-sagittarius/
There is also a tag. π
A heck of a story from a heck of a kid ππΌππΌππΌ
Wow, Elsa…. your ’10 year old self’ was SO brave! ππ
My very ambitious ‘to do’ list had to be temporarily delayed, just to read your story, as once I started reading, I literally could NOT stop!!
I felt, as if transported back in time, and remembered when I had taken my parents car (a big ol’ 1977 Lincoln Continental) for ‘a drive’ and weirdly, ALSO to a convenience store!!
Nothing happened, and got home ok~~probably because I didn’t need gas, lol!
But, reading your story…you grew up in exactly the place I wished I had….WHY?
Where you lived, in the remote dessert, when you look to the sky at night, you can clearly see the perimeter of the Milky way, and ALL the other galaxies beyond…
Your GIFT and GLORY came from having that radiant Universal Light shine on you….
Keep passing on your WISDOM; the world NEEDS your stories (since they are SO relatable), to LEARN from!
Keep on shining Elsa~~your stories are so AMAZING! π€π
Thank you! π
Wonderful story! I’m surprised you girls didn’t have bicycles to attempt the Circle K run…
Thank you! Re: the bicycles, we were far too poor.
I got a job when I was twelve and bought my own bicycle when I was thirteen or fourteen. Then I did ride it… twenty miles to the mall.
I had no money, so I would just go in and drink from the (cold) water fountain. Couple of drinks, fill the little pint water bottle on my bike, and then ride home.
I was happy doing this. I was flyin!
The kind of story that keeps you on the edge till the very end.
Fact is stranger than fiction for sure!
What an brave, determined kid you are, feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
We shake our heads in wonder, looking back on such a story.
“Was that really ME???”
Thanks for sharing, Elsa. You are a pisser!!
Thank you! Here’s the whole book. https://www.amazon.com/Heaven-I-Mean-Circle-K-ebook/dp/B00C7DJEJG