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Will I be Happy this year?
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m_arion
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Friday, January 11, 2019 - 12:19 pm
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Hello,
do you think that this year i will be happy?
I am fed up with failures and being always the second, third.
Last 3-2 years i have been struggling and going forward VERY VERY SLOWLY.
I hope it will change.
I graduated when i was 28, last year after 9-8 months of writing my MASTER DEGREE.
ALl my life and all my studies have been postponed i dont know why. Everyone graduated when 25 and I needed to wait for my master until i was 25 . Then 2 years of architectural master and 9 months of writing a diploma…
Why was it like this?
I was also doing some national architectural workshop in the meantime.

People that i worked with ( to organise workshops) have been immature, childish and jealous. Two of my friends had Moon in Scorpio and they have really been very very manipulative..

One of them is born the same day as me. She refused doing bday party for both of us in 2018 telling me she doesnt do parties. Month after i saw an invitation for her big house bday party that she was throwing with other people…
And other very shady behaviour that i witnessed in the meantime of the work..That was SAD. I dont know why PEOPLE  would behave to me like this.

Since 2015 i need to defend and protect myself from MY FRIENDS not to be used very very much. Its so bad because i really learnt that people are manipulative and shady, it blocked me for some YEARS! yes, YEARS. Since my graduation, November 2018 i have been searching for a job. AS i am 1st architect in my family i dont have any connections ( Only friends who study architecture or work) and i cant be ‘protected’. Its also a struggle.

I think that ALL MY LIFE since i enrolled on architecture its in 2010 i have struggled MORE than other people. And actually since 2015 (!!!) untill november 2018. I felt very very bad, pressured, stressed. I started going GRAY and my teeth started to fall out sometimes- because of the stress and pressure.

I hope you have some answers for this.
Than yoU!!

http://i.imgur.com/mfdA1cj.jpg

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Tam
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Friday, January 11, 2019 - 2:10 pm
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“Happy” is a fleeting feeling. “Content” is where it’s at. 

College is hard, I remember wishing I could just lay down on the couch and rest while watching tv for a few minutes. It seemed like a dream. As for your chart, you have Moon conjunct Saturn in Capricorn and Pluto is transiting it. You could simultaneously be depressed and paranoid. That’s really hard there is no way to sugarcoat it. The good news is that this too shall pass, there is a time limit.

Even though I have done it myself, talking about being a victim doesn’t help. Shift the energy/conversation to what steps can I take to be around people that support me in life. One good friend is worth more than 20 half-ass friends. 

Start working on a plan, now that all planets are direct is perfect to get going. Look for anything that interests you where you can meet people. Start talking to them about looking for a job, do they know anyone. Just talk about what you want for the future, what your dreams are.

Good luck!

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Friday, January 11, 2019 - 2:59 pm
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Tam said
“Happy” is a fleeting feeling. “Content” is where it’s at. 

College is hard, I remember wishing I could just lay down on the couch and rest while watching tv for a few minutes. It seemed like a dream. As for your chart, you have Moon conjunct Saturn in Capricorn and Pluto is transiting it. You could simultaneously be depressed and paranoid. That’s really hard there is no way to sugarcoat it. The good news is that this too shall pass, there is a time limit.

Even though I have done it myself, talking about being a victim doesn’t help. Shift the energy/conversation to what steps can I take to be around people that support me in life. One good friend is worth more than 20 half-ass friends. 

Start working on a plan, now that all planets are direct is perfect to get going. Look for anything that interests you where you can meet people. Start talking to them about looking for a job, do they know anyone. Just talk about what you want for the future, what your dreams are.

Good luck!

  

thank you so much for this post Tam. 

Actually I have a plan, i know what i wanna do. I slowly do this job by my own. I do everything alone for myself. People know im searching for a job but noone helps me. Its me who calls offices and does interviews. Its noones help but my initiative.

I must be very calm about any of my moves because i  know some people are jealous. Especially those women from workshops. I even do not post anything that is in ‘progress’ on facebook. I post only when im done or the job is finished.

Before thsi workshop i worked with other people as well at other projects. Usually people were normal, focused on a task to be done. During this workshop i felt power struggle and them wanting to be better than anyone and pushing me ‘down’. As they would not understand that i also can be a good worker, i can have connections by myself. Not only them.

But after the workshop I let it go. I moved on with a new perspectve on my business plan, with a degree and im happy about it. 

But i dont know why for me every moves like this, or people being manipulative is projected in my mind so much. Its like i cant be ‘relaxed’ about it. Otehr people from workshop also recognised their behaviour but they didnt care as much as i do.

 

I know i chave moon saturn conj and pluto transiting – ive read about it and always people say its a struggle for the inner pain, emotional pain.

I just hope it will somehow fade away in 2019. I want to be ‘content’ as you said. I want my life to be somehow ‘simple’ not as difficult as it has been before. It was not only by school and university BUT MORE about people, friends manipulations and shady stuff behind.

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Friday, January 11, 2019 - 5:29 pm
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The manipulation is a part of your transit. Just try not to get into any power struggles with women especially because of the transit. It’s hard, I had the Pluto square transit to my Moon. 

This past week some of my friends were talking about facebook, I’m not on it anymore. I told them it should be renamed jerkbook because of people proudly showing their least attractive personality parts. 🙂

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Friday, January 11, 2019 - 7:19 pm
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Shake the dust off your feet and move on!

With your architectural degrees you are already a fantastic success, more accomplished than 99% of the people in the world. A self made success, not riding on anyone’s connections. Congratulations! 

Aires Sun and Mercury, me too. We’re independent, adventurous initiators. We make our own appointments, set up our own interviews, find our jobs on our own. We don’t depend on other people, we don’t care about others’ opinions or need their approval.

Dump the social media, or start new ones to network professionally and promote your career. Focus on building your career and spend your free time doing activities you love. Satisfaction! Allow into your life only those who enrich it. 

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Sunday, January 13, 2019 - 10:29 am
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Tam said
The manipulation is a part of your transit. Just try not to get into any power struggles with women especially because of the transit. It’s hard, I had the Pluto square transit to my Moon. 

This past week some of my friends were talking about facebook, I’m not on it anymore. I told them it should be renamed jerkbook because of people proudly showing their least attractive personality parts. 🙂

  

im strying not to get into any power struggle. At family home where i live now its always been an issue because my sister is also an Aries and my mum is a Gemini with strong Earth placements so we were clashing everytime. But i prefer to clash and argue with family than have weird power struggle among friends, or fake work friends.

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Sunday, January 13, 2019 - 10:34 am
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Warped by Wuthering Heights said
Shake the dust off your feet and move on!

With your architectural degrees you are already a fantastic success, more accomplished than 99% of the people in the world. A self made success, not riding on anyone’s connections. Congratulations! 

Aires Sun and Mercury, me too. We’re independent, adventurous initiators. We make our own appointments, set up our own interviews, find our jobs on our own. We don’t depend on other people, we don’t care about others’ opinions or need their approval.

Dump the social media, or start new ones to network professionally and promote your career. Focus on building your career and spend your free time doing activities you love. Satisfaction! Allow into your life only those who enrich it. 

  

thank you so much for this post. i have always thought of myself as a failure ( until i was 24 maybe) because i was not a perfect student at architecture department as well i was getting rejected many many times by men.

i didnt see  the whole picture from other eyes. that other people dont study or dont have opportunity to educate themselves . and i cant moan about it because comparing to those people i am ‘better’ ( if i can say that).

 

i just dont wanna scared potential men because of my aries sun and aries mercury. i know that when i get to know someone very much i play with my moon in capricorn but there is veyr very little amount people who wanted to be friends with me as ARIES and then discover my capricorn.

people usually dont dig deep and perceive you by sun sign or ascendant. i am very contradicting and its kind of difficult to maintain and balance out.

its like men who rejected me ( because of my aries leo behaviour) in the past started to approach me again when they saw different side of me – capricorn moon side, very grounded, melancholical and workaholic. 

its very difficult for me to find someone who appreciate two sided of me. 

 

i didnt know it before in the past ive always had two groups of friends- this one that i hang out with on daily basis ( aries- loud funny sometimes even stupid) and more grounded at work when i knew i could rely on them like virgos, aquarius, capricorns)

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Sunday, January 13, 2019 - 1:59 pm
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🤗 It’s like someone very wise told me (kind of paraphrasing): there’s someone for everyone. 

Trust me. Be yourself. Be the best, kindest, smartest, self you can be. It will happen. 

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Sunday, January 13, 2019 - 3:20 pm
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yea i know allie120 , i know.

but why do i need to struggle so much everytime?

 

really for the last couple of years my life has been struggle. emotional struggle and pain. 

i was raised to be nice thankful. of course i was not revealing everything in 100% to everyone. i had a lot a lot of friends in the last 10-12 years. i was popular. but i was struggling with men.

there have been always my best female friends who somehow got in relationships faster than me.

its not that i am craving for it. i just wonder WHY and WHAT is in my chart indicating this? venus in NN? 

i feel like my friends have done many many black pr to me not to let me be in some relationships. i hope you know what i mean.

i was not experienced enough comparing to my female friends. and sharing those information with them made me weak in their eyes. – why? because they knew they could play me.

i also had struggles with financial matters all my life with parents. my parents are freelancers and dont make much money. its like they are black sheeps in family.

they are over protective because they didnt want me and my sister to be shown in the world. because they didnt want us to feel bad as they did in the past or if someone hurt them and etc.

i am a late bloomer in everything. i am very bad in relationships, very delicate. this state of physique and mind is compared to someone who is 20 years old or 18.

really.

i am not feminine, i dont feel mature. this is something i actually never forget them. i think because of their over protectiveness they made me and my siblings quite shy and not assertive. never enrolled me on courses outside school, always pick up to school, no spontanous young life. 

when i was 20-23 i was a big party girl. i stopped when i was 25 because someone importnant rejected me very badly. and also friends started to gossip at me and made drama.

instead of fighting for myself i moved away, i left , and even people from company didnt know why – i should have fought for myself. never did. 

this guy also after YEARS sometimes check on me, i know he taps on my head or my back ( not literally) to check if i m grown up already.

you know what i mean. 

 

i cant break this pattern i think that the more i am like  this the worse it will get. 

im not looking for a husband now. i wanna have boyfriend. but havent been in real relationship in quite some time i dont know even how to do it. 

im very upset because i just dont know. 

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Monday, January 14, 2019 - 3:06 pm
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I think it’s your Cap moon conjunct Saturn playing with your head. That’s like Saturn on steroids. Anywhere your Capricorn is or any planets you have there, you’ll tend to be super hard on yourself. Like, really hard…you can get down on yourself really bad and think you’re not good enough, nobody likes you, blah blah blah…. ugh, it’s rough. I have Mercury and Venus in Capricorn and Saturn opposite my ascendant, so I know all about the self-defeating talk. 😞 And when your moon is there….your moon is your feelings.

Anyhow! Let’s get off the train wreck side of Capricorn! Because there is a good side of Capricorn! First, stop worrying about whether you’re mature or wise or a late bloomer or whatever. You’re not. You’re fine. You have so much Capricorn that you can do all that you want because you will apply that and work your butt off. That’s the part about Cap that you can use. You’ve got it right there. 

I’m going to say don’t worry about everything. You have Aries. Aries is so good for leading, being a friendly, open soul to others. You can can be dynamite 🧨!

Squares are challenges, puzzles that you have to figure out and when you do, you’ll be much better in the end and have so many more skills. Use what you’ve already learned (because you have learned a lot so far. You seem like a very introspective person).

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Monday, January 14, 2019 - 8:32 am
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I’m sure there is someone who will appreciate you m arion.

You seem like a very strong person, you have been through a lot and worked hard to succeed.

Maybe just let go of past hurts, as best you can. And you will be ready for a healthy, happy relationship when it comes along.

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Monday, January 14, 2019 - 3:11 pm
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Ditto. It will come to you. It probably doesn’t sound very encouraging right now, today, but just keep being you and moving forward. There is no timetable anymore, like there was in school. Sometimes, well, most of the time, when you are focused on you and getting yourself better, stronger, happier, building yourself a foundation and taking good care of yourself, the best people will come to you, towards the light you shine outward.

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Monday, January 14, 2019 - 3:12 pm
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Oh dear. I sound like a Hallmark card, but I’m truly sincere!

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Sunday, January 20, 2019 - 3:37 pm
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MariaR said
I’m sure there is someone who will appreciate you m arion.

You seem like a very strong person, you have been through a lot and worked hard to succeed.

Maybe just let go of past hurts, as best you can. And you will be ready for a healthy, happy relationship when it comes along.

  

thank you so much. i am feeling better day by day even its presented in my posture, external confidence , face expressions.

i just need to be careful of not OVER doing confidence and be arrogant because i can be like this as well…

but i feel deep inside the solid strong structure that i have been building for the last couple of years. even though i will operate on my aries soon only i will not be afraid of the reality because i have this solid ground i have build in myself.

some people will not understand but i need to have the solid structure of living, money and strong feeling of dependency on it ( in my mind) because then i feel secure. its weird because STILL some of my friends are very reckless and i think a bit stupid? they think im too stressed and i overreact but i know what they mean.

ive been like them in the past but i have learnt a lot. and i have Cap moon which helped me to create this structure. some people dont have this feeling  of solid ground of being condifent because they lack of something. i needed to learn it and i did so i am happy i have this capricorn moon to help me create stability even if it sounds boring

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Sunday, January 20, 2019 - 6:09 pm
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“some people will not understand but i need to have the solid structure of living, money and strong feeling of dependency on it ( in my mind) because then i feel secure. its weird because STILL some of my friends are very reckless and i think a bit stupid? they think im too stressed and i overreact but i know what they mean.”

That’s all your Capricorn and believe me, there’s nothing wrong with that, even at your age. As long as you maintain your good values, be a true friend and a good person, you will be good in the end. You will be authentic. And think about it: the ones who stay with you are the ones who are your true and solid friends.

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