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Why do people hate themselves?

Posts: 898
Honorable Member
Joined: 7 years ago

When I think 'self hate' I think of the shooter Elliot Rodgers. The guy that shot people in 2014, in California.

He probably had a personality disorder, most likely Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Add in that he never got over his shyness with other people. You could tell that he hated other people and himself! Sad for everyone involved.

Posts: 31
Eminent Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I think when we are born we are subject to outside influences in our environment that tell us who we are.  For some, it is a good place and they learn that they are loveable just-the-way-they are.  For others, the psychological messages are more negative and as one grows they have to shut them off and become who they always were from the start.

Hades Moon
Posts: 151
Trusted Member
Joined: 4 years ago

What a deep young man your son is ?. I just wanna say that reading this thread question warmed my heart for 2 reasons:

1) It’s beautiful to me that your son does not relate to this feeling and therefore felt the need to ask

2) It’s wonderful that he felt comfortable asking his mom heart

I think healthy self esteem can aid in protecting us from disliking ourselves. Having a go at new things and giving it our best shot helps. Also continuing to get up despite falling down builds a feeling of resilience which is linked to feeling strong.

I think when people give up and quit putting effort into being their finest self, inevitably self hatred will follow ?. (Gosh, I do not like the h word). Also, clinical depression marked by a chemical imbalance can trigger negative affect.

Posts: 46
Eminent Member
Joined: 14 years ago

Essentially, yes. When I am outnumbered by people having a bad opinion of me, who's right? Me, who's biased, or everyone else telling me I'm awful?

For example, I get SO MANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT MY VOICE, it's like 50% of the people I know do not like it. It's not even Fran Drescher, mind you, but who am I supposed to believe? The 50% who say it's fine, or the 50% who let me know, repeatedly, how they don't like how I talk, how it's a problem for them, how it was in my performance review at work again, it was cited as a reason to lay me off from a job once...

So yeah, I have a big ol' complex about my voice, I don't like to make phone calls, etc. Which has all become even weirder since I do performing now.

Libra Noir
Posts: 1155
Topic starter
Honorable Member
Joined: 11 years ago

So why not believe the 50 percent who are fine with it? Who makes that choice? If the sides are equal, it seems that what you believe is up to you and you alone? Is self hatred some kind of a blindness to ones own freewill? 

Posts: 13
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago

People never hate themselves.


 They hate what they are doing or thinking or feeling, which usually means they are very out of touch with themselves.

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