Why do people hate themselves?
What a big question, and an important one for your son (Sun, lol).
I can’t even begin to know or express a full answer, but a few things came to mind.
As someone said, I think shame is part of it. We are often shamed/punished into behaving “rightly.” I’m not sure how much of this is cultural or human. My sense is both, but that it’s a strong facet of western culture.
I’ve had some health stuff come up recently, and started investigating spiritual causes (also seeing a doctor). One of the things I found related to my experience, was what one alternative practitioner called a Disease of the Should’s. This struck me bc of a wisdom my father had shared with me years and years ago.
We are often consumed by the things we should do, have to do, must do, etc. (or the negative—shouldn’t, etc). Communicating this way takes away our agency. We reify our lack of freedom, by reifying expectations that are foreign to our soul nature, and that feels bad. It feels awful. We hate it. I kinda think when we hate ourselves it’s because maybe a part of ourselves knows that we are complicit. I don’t say this flippantly or judgmentally at all.
This all sort of gets conflated into issues of self worth, eventually.
I’m interested in the varieties of stoicism, and see great value there, but it’s important to be careful to also acknowledge the fragility of human life and experience.
There’s a lot more to say, and I don’t think I expressed myself very well, so I’ll leave it here for now.
Libra Noir said
My son asked me this question last night. I didn’t really have a satisfying answer for him. I thought that maybe people didnt really hate themselves but hated how they felt. (I wish I had more wisdom to give to him, but I really feel like I know less than I ever did. Humbling......)
How would you all answer this question?
Just reread your answer to your son about people hating how they feel, and it made me think about whether people are afraid to admit that they love themselves for some reason.
Not really an answer, but that’s what came up.
Does he know you are into astrology? How old is he? I was reading astrology when I was a pre-teen specifically to understand why I felt so bad. It helped! If only to objectify it: it’s my chart, not ME.
Do you think he was asking about other people? Or was it a sideways way for him to ask you about why he feels that way?
Trans-Saturnian aspecting Sun.
Self continually in a state of flux.
Inability to set roots.
Dissatisfaction and a coloring by/with Virgoan trait.
Something is missing...
This is such a good question. When I hate myself it's because I'm unforgiving... of myself.
It's also self-centered. It's a bad place to get to and even worse if you stay there. 🙁
Ok this makes sense.