This is eating me alive
also OP has 4th house stellium and sun in 4th? and 12th, i think like what @elsa said, she can have natural tendancies for motherhood.
I noticed those celebrities with children and they put their children first, along with if they have a great partner, it becomes really good. For example, Megan markles is a Leo sun, in the 1st house (strong ego) but her pluto is in the 4th and she has cancer mars in 12th.
and a cancer rising.
so i notice people with cancer placements and lots of 4th, have strong tendancies for motherhood and family. Even Angelina Jolie who is a Gemini sun, has Cancer rising and cancer venus and she took her motherhood seriously and said, go away Brad Pitt (sag with lots of capricorn) because her children came FIRST.
that made me think what @Elsa said about 4th house and cancer energy, because not all Scorpios or Geminis or whatever astrology make up are really interested in parenthood.
As a Leo with Libra rising and moon, I do enjoy being #1 to my bf. I’ve dated a man once with a daughter . It wasn’t super serious. But his daughter was young. I was in my 30s and I wanted other things. Whe both decided that it wasn’t meant to be.
its a tough situation you are in. Even tho people with libra planets can indecisive , in the end I want somebody to come home to, and I love being cherished and doing things together. You have to share him. And can’t spend time with him in your free time. If you are ok with that that’s fine.
but I think in the end it wouldn’t work out for you. You would feel miserable.
you deserve the best. Don’t settle for less.
Im sure most of the things are good between the two of you. Maybe it’s the opposite attracts kinda thing, your rising opposing his rising. He’s a Scorpio with scorp rising. They feel deep but don’t show their emotions on display . My bf is Scorpio too but with Libra moon and rising too. So we blend very well.
You know deep down what’s needed.
I once read in a book that Pisces in 12th points to fear of abandonment. I don’t know if you feel it like that. Have you been in a long relationship before ?
You have gotten a lot of good advice but I don't think anyone has mentioned the time component. You may be "eaten alive" because subconsiously the baby clock is ticking louder and you have to get moving. Time goes by so quickly and I believe young women have been misled through the media regarding the reproductive possibilities in your later years. Lots of women have problems and/or don't have the funds to augment the process. So if having a family of your own is in your plans, do you have the time for your man to learn how to manage his shyte? It takes time to find someone new and get to know them usually so that needs to be factored in.
I wish you the best,
I finally talked to him almost 2 weeks ago.
asked him how come he never makes an effort to have me around this kids if he wants a future together and the longer we wait to build that I have more doubts.
I told him I feel he’s more a priority to me than I am to him and that I care more than him… is how I feel.
he told me he wasn’t intentionally not having me around that it just wasn’t on his mind. But he also doesn’t want “everything” to be on him. Told me I’m welcome anytime I to jus come when I want. I told him I don’t wanna invite myslef I wanted to feel wanted to come over and o want to feel an effort for him to have me around them.
he said he wants me, and happy to have me. And wants a future.
I sucked up my pride and asked to come over last weekend, even after expressing my discomffot with inviting myslef around his kids bc I didn’t feel it was my say and he has to make that effort. So I went and I asked to come over and I colored with his daughter and made a real effort.
it’s been another week and he didn’t invite me this weekend. I was hoping me making the first move would get the ball rolling and that he could incite me next so that one person didn’t feel it was all on them and we both actively making effort.
but no, nothing this weekend.
it almost feels as if he just didn’t take the seriousness of my conversation.
I NEED effort. I’m sick of the one making effort. Begging for it. It feels so unbalanced and I can only do so much without building resentment.
im going to give it another weekend but if he doesn’t start putting effort then I can’t continue. I clearly told him what I needed in the conversation and he said he didn’t realize that was soemthinf he wasn’t showing up for.
bit still isn’t and expects me to just come over… I want to feel he wants me over and is making effort!!!!
You got a lot of good advice. I personally would leave. That all sounds exhausting and if he's not romancing you now, and you're feeling neglected now, it doesn't look like it's worth it. I'm sorry. He'll only give you less attention once he has you committed.
I have to add - I like reading advice columns. Unfortunately, there are always so many with divorce issues and children. Like constant. The kids and the exes and so on. Jumping into that situation when he's low effort now seems like it would be a mistake.
I'll add onto what soup said about fire and water - you're shiny, Scorpio is not. We water signs need a lot of time alone. I don't know how this guy has energy for all these kids and exes, but he's going to run out quickly and you're going to get the scraps. On top of being second fiddle you're not going to be appreciated, and will possibly be resented, even by him (like when he doesn't feel like defending you against that one ex). I could be wrong, you know the dynamics, but from your description it just doesn't sound good. Add in, he is 29 and already has 2 exes with children, he doesn't sound super commitment oriented.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I hope you can figure out what you really want to do, and I think it's smart you're thinking about it now before you're in too deep. If you decide he's not worth it, I hope you quickly meet someone who is and who wants to romance you and make you his #1.