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strange synastry - help
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helen
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Tuesday, June 13, 2017 - 2:19 pm
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Hello everybody, and sorry for my english !
I need your help to understand this relationship that has enormously affected me.I am completely in love with this man and I
 don't understand his attitude towards me since the beginning of our relationship.
There are good and harmonic and tight aspects, sextiles and trine... (moon/moon -sun/mars - venus/vertex - merc/venus - mars/venus - saturn/moon - 
saturn / venus - nept / sun - nept / moon - jupiter /mars - merc/MC - merc saturn - merc/juno - MC/moon...) 
and double aspect (double whammy?) merc / moon - sun /mars -saturn/moon ) 
and tight conjunction between his moon and my saturn, his moon and my mars, my venus and his juno, 
my neptune is conjoncted his asc, his pluto is conjuncted my asc
But there are also some difficult aspect like venus opposite pluto, moon square pluto, mars square chiron, mars square pluto..

My sun is in his 5th house, and his sun is in my 7th house
I don't undertsand why it seems for him so difficult to be together, and for him to be in a relationship with me ;(.
I d'on't understand why I love Him so much, and why I'm dependant on him
Can you help me to understand?
Is the moon conjunct mars saturn and Mc ...too "strong"?
Is the opposition venus and pluton ...too oppressive?
My pluto is conjunct his Mc and my pluto conjunct his MC... what does it mean ?
Is the square between moon and pluto, can break the relationship?
His natal chart is very strong with a big square and a cross between uranus, sun, moon and mars, so he's a big personnality!
I try to post the chart of synastry
I hope you could help me
thanks a lot


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helen
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Wednesday, June 14, 2017 - 7:14 am
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Hello everybody, and sorry for my english !

I need your help to understand this relationship that has enormously affected me.I am completely in love with this man and I don't understand his attitude towards me since the beginning of our relationship.

There are good and harmonic and tight aspects, sextiles and trine... (moon/moon -sun/mars - venus/vertex - merc/venus - mars/venus - saturn/moon - saturn / venus - nept / sun - nept / moon - jupiter /mars - merc/MC - merc saturn - merc/juno - MC/moon...) and double aspect (double whammy?) merc / moon - sun /mars -saturn/moon ) and tight conjunction between his moon and my saturn, his moon and my mars, my venus and his juno, my neptune is conjoncted his asc, his pluto is conjuncted my asc,

But there are also some difficult aspect like venus opposite pluto, moon square pluto, mars square chiron, mars square pluto.

 My sun is in his 5th house, and his sun is in my 7th house

I don't undertsand why it seems for him so difficult to be together, and for him to be in a relationship with me ;(.

I d'on't understand why I love Him so much, and why I'm dependant on him

Can you help me to understand?

Is the moon conjunct mars saturn and Mc ...too "strong"?

Is the opposition venus and pluton ...too oppressive?

My pluto is conjunct his Mc and my pluto conjunct his MC... what does it mean ?

Is the square between moon and pluto, can break the relationship?

His natal chart is very strong with a big square and a cross between uranus, sun, moon and mars, so he's a big personnality!

I try to post the chart of synastry

I hope you could help me

thanks a lot.

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helen
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Wednesday, June 14, 2017 - 3:41 pm
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[Image Can Not Be Found]

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helen
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Saturday, June 17, 2017 - 7:23 am
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Hi Helen. 🙂

Your English is okay.  The problem is that you haven't posted a chart.  The link in your most recent post leads to an expired image.

If you want opinions, you'll have to *post* a *chart*.  That means save the image of the chart, and add it to your post, using the button at the bottom of the text window for composing a post.  Good luck!

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helen
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Sunday, June 18, 2017 - 6:51 am
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thank you

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helen
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Sunday, June 18, 2017 - 11:51 am
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I do see attraction in this synastry 🙂 I dont have to detail it out, you already know the aspects producing that... the Mars aspects, the Venus/Pluto, Juno conjunct Venus.... all that good stuff.

The emotional problems or the lack of opening up emotionally might be caused by the double whammy of Moon/Saturn in hard aspect. Your Saturn is on his Moon and his Saturn is square your Moon. Your Saturn on his Moon is the tightest aspect. Saturn can have the effect of restricting the planet it is conjunct, despite best intentions, so it can be hard to 'open up' emotionally for the Moon person. Planet person can feel afraid of judgement by Saturn person and Saturn might be extra sensitive to rejection by the planet person and act defensively or close up. This aspect can cause feelings of dependancy on both people, but especially (in my experience) on the Saturn person, because where we have Saturn is often where we can feel a sense of lack, and someone's Moon there can be satisfying because that person seems to effortlessly express what we feel we lack. I would suggest you read up on this aspect... see if it fits your dynamics. On the positive side, it can add seriousness to the relationship, commitment, feeling a sense of responsibility towards one another.

Another thing is that your Moon is not very much aspected in the synastry, it is not receiving any harmonious aspects so this can also contribute to feeling emotionally unsupported or like you are not being cared after, because Moon shows how we want to be cared after.

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helen
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Sunday, June 18, 2017 - 3:11 pm
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thanks a lot

I read that a conjunction between moon and saturn in a synastry could be the sign of a long term relationship,as the glue in a couple...so I thought it was a good and positive aspect. but it's true he's cold with me and it's true i'm so dependant on him ;(

No tenderness, no empathy, cold and indifference ... it's all that I had and I feel devastated inside me

I saw him as an ideal, and I wonder why it can't be the same for him

His moon is on my midpoint sun/moon

do you see feelings, attachment, romantic feelings, in this chart?

my moon is trine his merc (3°) sextile his cupido (3°) conjunct his south node (6°) sextile his moon (6°) opposite his venus (6°)  and square his saturn (6°) I don't know if the orb are too wide to be important, and it's true i feel alone and he doesn't care about my pain.

my venus is trine his vertex (2°) sextile saturn (5°) and trine neptune (7°)

his venus is sextile my merc (1°) trine my mars (2°) conjunct my juno (2°) trine Mc (4°) sextile my sun (5°) opposite my moon (6°) trine cupido(6°) and conjunct jupiter (7°)

It's difficult to explain my pain and grief in english but it's very hard for me, so I try to understand and to know if there can be a real romantic relationship betwen us

thanks for help me

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helen
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Sunday, June 18, 2017 - 3:21 pm
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what do you think about his moon between my mars saturn conjunction? do you think  his moon have a sense in the chart ??

do you think this position can reveal irritation or rejection to me?

thank you

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helen
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strawb.
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Monday, June 19, 2017 - 7:29 pm
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Although he is definitely very masculine with an Aries Sun square Capricorn Mars, he also has a sensitive romantic side with a Cancer Moon and Pisces Venus. It's possible he denies these qualities in himself and projects them on women but I dont see a lack of emotion, I think it's more that he is hard to pin down, his feelings are hard to pin down, even for himself. He has Venus in Pisces square Neptune and Jupiter and Cancer Moon, he's a little moody and he can feel confused about his own feelings and how to express them. The combination of Gemini descendant, Venus in 3rd house, and Venus square Neptune and Jupiter is not the most commited combination... he can create a lot of fantasy around women, and lose interest once he gets bored or his fantasy is ruined. Venus in Pisces square Neptune and Jupiter can show a lack of discrimination. His sense of fanstasy has to be engaged for him to stay interested and he needs space. 

Your Saturn/Mars on his Moon doesnt mean rejection, but you are pushy (Mars/Saturn) where he is sensitive (Moon), so he could feel that you come on a little too strong sometimes, especially when it comes to pushing him (Mars) to express how he feels (Moon), but the Moon in Cancer is a crab in a hard shell, they will reveal their emotions only when they feel safe and calm and they have trust. They can be very self-protective and guarded.

Another thing, he has Uranus opposite his Aries Sun, this makes him veryyy independant and especially with a Sagittarius rising, he doesn't want to be controlled or bogged down. You have to allow these kind of people their freedom or they will rebel. 

As far as synastry goes, I tend to focus on the tighter aspects and the aspects between inner planets. Hard aspects tend to be more intensely felt than soft aspects, so I use a wider orb for hard aspects, and tighter (around 3 max) for trines and sextiles. You have some important Pluto aspects from his chart to yours, this can breed some feelings of mistrust of jealousy but also strong attraction, even obsession. His Pluto is also conjunct your ascendant, so he can have a lot of influence over you, even change you in positive or negative ways.

I dont know why you say he doesn't care about your pain.. can you elaborate? To me, this sounds like it's the Saturn/Moon aspects like I said, this aspect can feel like he is cold or judgmental when you need him to be soft or when you are feeling vulnerable, and with your Saturn on his Moon, can create difficulties in expressing emotions for him too. Also like I mentionned before, the aspects to your Moon and his are not very soft & supportive. Even the ones you posted are pretty wide or out of sign aspects which are not that strong. 

But, I'm a believer that if two people really care about each other and want to make it work, they can, especially if they can communicate well. And  you're both capable of communication your thoughts to each other because you both have Mercury in Taurus in a conjunction. You also both have Venus in Pisces, you share some similar values. Have you tried to discuss your feelings with him? Does he not seem to care even if you do? 

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helen
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Tuesday, June 20, 2017 - 1:39 pm
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Thank you for this answer. you are right on many points, and I'm going to try to explain you in english 🙂

he is very masculine, impatient, impulsive and independant. It's also difficult for him to control his emotions. he may have some very hard  and sharp words, he can be very choleric ..and the next moment he make everything to be forgiven ... also very emotive, sometimes stressed, and destabilized, and in this case he does anything to hide this feelings from the others

I think You definitely defined his relationship with women ...fantasms .. then rejection when she is not anymore interresting....

He says to me 'I'm not a good man, I'm egoist and egocentric.." I think he feels that I could "tie"him, so he runs away, but come back later...

I tried to make him speak about himself, his feelings, his emotions, he says He doesn't want any women in his life, he says he is "extreme" in his actions , and in his life. he only wants to make sport and competition

I felt in love very quickly ...In the beginning, I felt obsseded, very nervous, stressed to lose him and stressed to see him, to talk to him, fear of his reactions, I felt jealousy, love, desire, I wanted to be with him as I never felt before with anyone...but i felt also hurted, pain and frustration, because of his words, because of his attitude, because of how he's with me ... I cried, cried cried so much ...but I say ok when he come back ....It's very difficult to explain my feelings, I never feel this before !!!

He left me several times, broke my heart, I tried to talk to him and he only said "sorry" that's all - cold and emotionless

as if he does not believe I can love him, he says "you deserve better than me"JF-astro_2at_12_jf.67023.430.gif

I feel that's it is only me who feel this attraction, emotions, and love for him...

his moon conjunct my mars = I feel attracted

his moon is on my saturn = I feel frustration

His pluto is on my ascendant = I feel a grip

His moon square my pluto = I feel dependance

My venus is opposite to my pluto = I feel jealousy

 It's very hard but I also think he is not entered in my life by chance, and I'm not entered in his life by chance...

do you think the aspect of pluto in our synastry can be overcome? We are two temperaments and two differents energies (aries / taurus) so I thought I could stabilize him ... we have goods aspects with mercury, but only when HE wants to talk with me

I hope you understand what I mean and what I want to explain you, and  today I only think he doesn't want to do anything to hold me in his life ...;)

I post his birth chart if you want to see it ..

thank you very much

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Teresina
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Tuesday, June 20, 2017 - 4:36 pm
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I tried to make him speak about himself, his feelings, his emotions, he says He doesn't want any women in his life, he says he is "extreme" in his actions , and in his life. he only wants to make sport and competition

He left me several times, broke my heart, I tried to talk to him and he only said "sorry" that's all - cold and emotionless.

It's difficult for him to be in a relationship with any woman. This is in his chart, and he has also expressed his free will in this manner. He has a very tight opposition between his Sun and Uranus, so he is creating space when he breaks up with you. He also has Sadge rising conjunct Jupiter. He needs companionship (Moon in the 7th), but he wants lots and lots of space in order to be an individual. He gets into a relationship, feels confined, breaks up, gets drawn towards a relationship, breaks up, and repeats.

I felt in love very quickly ...In the beginning, I felt obsseded, very nervous, stressed to lose him and stressed to see him, to talk to him, fear of his reactions, I felt jealousy, love, desire, I wanted to be with him as I never felt before with anyone...but i felt also hurted, pain and frustration, because of his words, because of his attitude, because of how he's with me ... I cried, cried cried so much ...but I say ok when he come back ....It's very difficult to explain my feelings, I never feel this before !!!

You have Venus in Pisces and it loosely opposes Pluto in Libra. You have the potential to feel this way towards anyone. You desired (Venus) an intense (Pluto) relationship, which ended up coming with pain, break up, and getting back together. Pluto represents death and rebirth, which occurred in this relationship. Many endings and starts. You seek transformative experiences (Pluto) in love (Venus).

You may feel that you can heal him if you love him enough (Venus in Pisces) or be able to change his mind, but he's very likely to stay the way he has been since the beginning of your relationship. He is only going to be tied down if he wants to, and he doesn't want to because "he doesn't want any women in his life."

Your Mars-Saturn in Cancer and Pluto in Libra square very tightly and aspect your Venus in Pisces, so there are some control themes in your chart, like when you tried to make him speak about his feelings. You may try to control (Mars-Saturn) your partner (Venus). I think you may feel dependent on him because you are relationship-oriented and you also have Venus in Pisces. You deeply want to be partnered. You can also seem to give a lot of power away to your partners. However, you are the one in control in the relationship. You may feel out of control, but you're the one who accepts him back after he's caused you pain. He is coming and going, and he's likely to keep coming and going. You're the one holding all the power in whether the relationship keeps going as it has or ends.

I would listen very carefully to what he is saying, because he has told you his attitude, but you seem to want him to be different than how he is, which is why you're having difficulty understanding him. This is causing you pain because he's not going to change, and you're not going to be able to make him change. If you can accept him for how he really is, you can choose whether you want to continue keep having this painful relationship with him or decide you've had enough pain.

 

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strawb.
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Tuesday, June 20, 2017 - 5:26 pm
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helen said


He says to me 'I'm not a good man, I'm egoist and egocentric.." I think he feels that I could "tie"him, so he runs away, but come back later...

I tried to make him speak about himself, his feelings, his emotions, he says He doesn't want any women in his life, he says he is "extreme" in his actions , and in his life. he only wants to make sport and competition

Believe him when he says that, because all of it is in his chart. He is not just this way with you or in this particular relationship, it's who he really is. Unpredictable (Sun opposite Uranus), emotionally hot and cold (Uranus square Moon, Sun square Moon), volatile and aggressive (Sun square Mars, Mars opposite Moon) needs space and freedom, is evasive.  His chart is not commitment loving and wanting to be tied down kind of chart. His good quality is that he is very forgiving (Venus in Pisces/Neptune) and giving (Jupiter aspect) at least when he wants to be, he can love a person for their soul, has lots of charm. But, none the less, you have to see if you can accept him for who he is because he is just like what he is telling you and shown you. 

do you think the aspect of pluto in our synastry can be overcome? We are two temperaments and two differents energies (aries / taurus) so I thought I could stabilize him ...

Pluto difficulties can be overcome when the people are very honest with each other because Pluto demands raw honesty and no manipulation. When manipulation and power games creep in, Pluto can bring hostility, but when there is raw honesty and authentic relating, it brings intimacy and understanding on a very deep level. 

I dont think Pluto is the main problem here though. It's about seeing if you can accept and love him for who he is, without wanting to change him. That being said, I am not sure if he will ever be able to make you feel safe and comforted, I dont see that in the synastry. I do see a lot of attraction, but not sure that he is able to meet your emotional needs (Moon). You are a Taurus with Cancer Mars and Leo Moon, you are possessive and you need loyalty. Even though your Venus in Pisces is very forgiving and you can accept a lot of flaws in a person... if he is flirtateous and has a tendency to dissapear to ''do his own thing'' I would think it will drive you crazy in the long run.

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