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Scorpio man who doesn't want a relationship
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Thesecondphoenix
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Friday, April 27, 2018 - 7:40 am
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It’s different for guys. But I take your last point.

Definitely do not sleep with him. Just make sure you’re in a position to test the waters every so often, however you can manage that.

Perhaps to avoid confusion I should be clear on my perspective. Because I can’t advise you from having been in your same position. Since I am just not a chick.

It seems to me girls play the ‘avoidance’ card when they are unhappy with some thing very often and you will be the same as every other girl if he does have options if you play that card.

I would not take as gospel ‘going through a difficult time’ from anyone. There are some people that genuinely do have that problem… But that is comparatively rare… The question is if they are going through a difficult time why can they not talk to you about it?

If there is another girl he is interested in and not telling you about… fair enough. But then at least you know. If that is the case and you find out properly, you find out he will not let go of another one he is in love with and is perhaps giving him the runaround as an example, then it will be easier to genuinely move on.

Creamcheese113 said

What should I do exactly? 

Write to him, see him, sleep with him? Being entertaining for his own sake … 

What will you do exactly in my postion? Have a great night and then leave him in the morning with tears in your eyes, knowing he won’t write to you or give any sign (exactly what happened one month ago)?

It’s not a lack of courage 🙁 I have been rejected many times, I have loved many men who ended up with other women … Don’t be too harsh in your judgement  

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Friday, April 27, 2018 - 8:34 am
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Thesecondphoenix said
It’s different for guys. But I take your last point.

Definitely do not sleep with him. Just make sure you’re in a position to test the waters every so often, however you can manage that.

Perhaps to avoid confusion I should be clear on my perspective. Because I can’t advise you from having been in your same position. Since I am just not a chick.

It seems to me girls play the ‘avoidance’ card when they are unhappy with some thing very often and you will be the same as every other girl if he does have options if you play that card.

I would not take as gospel ‘going through a difficult time’ from anyone. There are some people that genuinely do have that problem… But that is comparatively rare… The question is if they are going through a difficult time why can they not talk to you about it?

If there is another girl he is interested in and not telling you about… fair enough. But then at least you know. If that is the case and you find out properly, you find out he will not let go of another one he is in love with and is perhaps giving him the runaround as an example, then it will be easier to genuinely move on.

Creamcheese113 said

What should I do exactly? 
Write to him, see him, sleep with him? Being entertaining for his own sake … 
What will you do exactly in my postion? Have a great night and then leave him in the morning with tears in your eyes, knowing he won’t write to you or give any sign (exactly what happened one month ago)?
It’s not a lack of courage 🙁 I have been rejected many times, I have loved many men who ended up with other women … Don’t be too harsh in your judgement  

  

mmmh I see your point and I fully agree with it. Men have their doubts as well…

A friend of mine who knows him as well said to me that he is going through hell in his personal life (ex wife, kids…) and that he said to her many times that he cannot be in a relationship for the moment and it’s exactly what he told me. I like him and when he said to me that he wanted to see me again, I was really happy but then I came to the realization that he only wants a “casual relationship” for the moment.

There is a difference between “let’s know each other and see how it goes” and “I don’t want anything”… 

I know that I really like him, but not sure if he does and I tend to think that if he really cares for me, he would have written to me… I don’t know… Arggghhhhh it’s so frustrating ..

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Friday, April 27, 2018 - 9:45 am
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I think its a good thing that he doesnt want to jump into a relationship without getting some things in order with his ex and kids first. Maybe that shows that he cares enough about you, to not make his problems, into your problems. I mean, thats a heavy load. Ex wife and kids. It can be very difficult and full of drama. 

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Friday, April 27, 2018 - 5:29 pm
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Creamcheese113 said

mmmh I see your point and I fully agree with it. Men have their doubts as well…

A friend of mine who knows him as well said to me that he is going through hell in his personal life (ex wife, kids…) and that he said to her many times that he cannot be in a relationship for the moment and it’s exactly what he told me. I like him and when he said to me that he wanted to see me again, I was really happy but then I came to the realization that he only wants a “casual relationship” for the moment.

There is a difference between “let’s know each other and see how it goes” and “I don’t want anything”… 

I know that I really like him, but not sure if he does and I tend to think that if he really cares for me, he would have written to me… I don’t know… Arggghhhhh it’s so frustrating ..  

Use your intuition. 

He sounds attractive. Good luck. 

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Saturday, April 28, 2018 - 12:06 am
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Creamcheese113 said
Hello 🙂

I met a scorpion man (I am a cancer woman) back in november, things were going well but suddenly he disappeared in January. Back in March, I sent him a random text and we decided to meet for a drink, we had great fun and he admitted that he likes me and wanted to see me but he was going through intense personal problems (ex wife, kids), we met the week after, we had a great night but he told me that he couldn’t be in a relationship at the moment, when I left the next morning he asked me if we will see each other again and I said yes…. 

As a Scorpio Male (Sun) who has gone through the *problems* this guy has (except the kids)….. I can tell you this: He is *literally* being forced to focus on his Ex’s shenanigans.

Ex-spouses can be Hell to deal with….. especially when kids involved. It gets worse if the *woman* has a personal vendetta against the guy. Doesn’t matter if real or not….. if she thinks Life is treating him better than her; she feels he must be brought down.

This is what I think he is dealing with; an Ex with a vendetta.

****

What should you do? Let him be alone. Until he makes a commitment to place a priority on you….. any effort you make only relieves his stress (via sex) but adds to your stress.

When he’s has decided his current problem is solved, he may seek you out.

I agree with others here…. find something else to do. If you absolutely must have *relations* with a man, choose carefully. You don’t want to be pregnant / raising another man’s child when this guy shows up.

This is my $0.02

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Saturday, April 28, 2018 - 9:07 am
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I agree with Libra Noir: it’s good he’s focusing on solving his own issues. And I also appreciate the guy’s honesty: he says he’s not prepared for a relationship now. My experiences with Scorpios so far showed me they are very honest in what they say and they can name even the uncomfortable truth. It’s one of the signs I can always trust: when they say something it is just like that, no need to read between the lines, no hidden meanings, no tricks.

I don’t know your guy, but my Scorpio boyfriend is fixed on issues: for example when he has a problem, he is fixed on solving that, is almost impossible getting him even to discuss other things, I see his mind navigates back to what worries him until he reaches a conclusion. And there are persons who don’t like to mix things… I find it fair to solve his own issues and then be free to move to another chapter. Also, the Scorpios I met like to end up a chapter and then move to next one… I admire very much this capacity they have and you can make sure once they close a chapter it’s closed for good. 

I suggest you let him space and focus on other things, your own things. Maybe write him sometimes, but give him space and time, don’t pressure him with anything… Anyone will definitely appreciate this when going through a hard time.

So… give him time. If it will be, it will be… if not, not. You told him what you want. He knows. Next move is his move…

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Monday, April 30, 2018 - 11:01 am
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Glenn said

Creamcheese113 said
Hello 🙂

I met a scorpion man (I am a cancer woman) back in november, things were going well but suddenly he disappeared in January. Back in March, I sent him a random text and we decided to meet for a drink, we had great fun and he admitted that he likes me and wanted to see me but he was going through intense personal problems (ex wife, kids), we met the week after, we had a great night but he told me that he couldn’t be in a relationship at the moment, when I left the next morning he asked me if we will see each other again and I said yes…. 

As a Scorpio Male (Sun) who has gone through the *problems* this guy has (except the kids)….. I can tell you this: He is *literally* being forced to focus on his Ex’s shenanigans.

Ex-spouses can be Hell to deal with….. especially when kids involved. It gets worse if the *woman* has a personal vendetta against the guy. Doesn’t matter if real or not….. if she thinks Life is treating him better than her; she feels he must be brought down.

This is what I think he is dealing with; an Ex with a vendetta.

****

What should you do? Let him be alone. Until he makes a commitment to place a priority on you….. any effort you make only relieves his stress (via sex) but adds to your stress.

When he’s has decided his current problem is solved, he may seek you out.

I agree with others here…. find something else to do. If you absolutely must have *relations* with a man, choose carefully. You don’t want to be pregnant / raising another man’s child when this guy shows up.

This is my $0.02  

Many thanks for this advice 🙂 I have the feeling that his ex is trying to make his life a living hell and I understand that it may not be the best moment to be in a relationship and there is nothing I can do about it unfortunately.

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Monday, April 30, 2018 - 11:06 am
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Calliope said
I agree with Libra Noir: it’s good he’s focusing on solving his own issues. And I also appreciate the guy’s honesty: he says he’s not prepared for a relationship now. My experiences with Scorpios so far showed me they are very honest in what they say and they can name even the uncomfortable truth. It’s one of the signs I can always trust: when they say something it is just like that, no need to read between the lines, no hidden meanings, no tricks.

I don’t know your guy, but my Scorpio boyfriend is fixed on issues: for example when he has a problem, he is fixed on solving that, is almost impossible getting him even to discuss other things, I see his mind navigates back to what worries him until he reaches a conclusion. And there are persons who don’t like to mix things… I find it fair to solve his own issues and then be free to move to another chapter. Also, the Scorpios I met like to end up a chapter and then move to next one… I admire very much this capacity they have and you can make sure once they close a chapter it’s closed for good. 

I suggest you let him space and focus on other things, your own things. Maybe write him sometimes, but give him space and time, don’t pressure him with anything… Anyone will definitely appreciate this when going through a hard time.

So… give him time. If it will be, it will be… if not, not. You told him what you want. He knows. Next move is his move…  

Again, thank you so much for your answer:)

His honesty is something that I really appreciate and it’s probably why it’s so frustrating to « let it go » because I really think he is a great guy. 

Your experience is very interesting and it’s proof that sometimes life and love are all about « right timing » 🙁 

As I said earlier, I have the feeling now that I can’t do much to change his mind and I must keep going with my life and maybe he will come back, who knows 🙁 

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Wednesday, August 8, 2018 - 7:03 am
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update: He wrote to me this morning and ask me if we can have a drink at his place… I greed for the drink but NOT at his place. According to a friend of mine, he said few mobths ago that family life is not for him and that he enjoys being single…

I don’t know what to think…

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Wednesday, August 8, 2018 - 2:47 pm
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I say let the guy breathe and give him time to enjoy being single until being single gets old.

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Thursday, August 9, 2018 - 7:08 am
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Creamcheese113 said
update: He wrote to me this morning and ask me if we can have a drink at his place… I greed for the drink but NOT at his place. According to a friend of mine, he said few mobths ago that family life is not for him and that he enjoys being single…

I don’t know what to think…  

I was curious about how this story will develop… smileIt’s good you’ll have a drink to see each other and talk about… You’ll see & feel how he is doing. It’s good you didn’t agree to go to his place.

Who is this friend telling he’s not made for family life? Is he someone to be trusted? Maybe the Scorpio said that because he felt exhausted and sick of all the stress and the complicated situation… But he might enjoy being single for a while.

Give him space and take it easy, see where he stands and pay attention to what he says & does. I know Scorpios to be very honest in terms of feelings and intentions. If he wanted to see you, he’s clearly been thinking about you… or he wants to tell you something. Keep us posted! Please be careful and take good care!wink

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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 3:11 am
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Well he texted me because he saw me in the street, he was walking with a girl by his side… When I wrote to him to say that i would gladly have a drink with him but not at his place, he never texted back… He just wanted sex I guess… 🙁

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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 6:51 am
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Creamcheese113 said
Well he texted me because he saw me in the street, he was walking with a girl by his side… When I wrote to him to say that i would gladly have a drink with him but not at his place, he never texted back… He just wanted sex I guess… 🙁  

Uh… frown I’m sorry… Then at least you know where he stands and you can move on and find someone who sees in you a complete human being with body, mind and soul. Much light to youheart

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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 8:01 am
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I’m sorry. heartHe has shown you who he is it’s important that you believe him.

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Thursday, August 16, 2018 - 6:40 am
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I sent him a text to tell him that I accept to see him at his place… I know it does sound pathetic but he is the first man I have met this past years (I have just turned 34 three weeks ago) and I have been thinking of him this past 4 months. I know he doesn’t want a relationship, I know he won’t fall in love with me… I know that… But I also know that the few hours that we spend together every once in a while are amazing… It is pathetic but I do feel lonely and I have lost all hopes that one day I will meet a man who will want to have children with me and for a cancer it is heartbreaking… So at least for one night I will feel alive and desired… I feel flattered that he wrote to me upon seeing me… I know he has many other women throwing themselves at him… It’s better than nothing I guess….

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