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Sag men got me confused ??‍♀️

BellaDonna
Posts: 359
(@belladonna)
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Joined: 12 years ago

I speak from experience having done the same, but it sounds like you were not clear with yourself in what you actually wanted hence the boundary issues and why it ended blurry/confusing (because of starting with boundary issues) ... being open to give him space, following suit with the "let's just be friends" although you didnt really want that either, and then he plays with your head for his own validation/boredom re giving you grief about how it ended leaving you scratching your head almost like being gaslighted...  even though if I understood correctly- he ended it by asking to end it and just be friends? Now, your head/heart is in knots.. but ultimately it comes back to you (not to be harsh but to help you wake up/be more self-aware) to what you actually want/need... and when someone doesn't line up with what you value/want/need .. to let them go. He has already demonstrated he's not capable of what you want or you wouldn't be confused and in pain... so it's a lesson to be learned about being more honest with yourself/building a relationship with yourself so that the other person can reflect what you actually value.. and boundaries help make clarify... ie: I'm honest with myself about what I want so I'm honest with the other about what I want and given how they respond tells me if they are capable of meeting that need. But most of don't do that because we already know the truth/or don't want to hear the truth then go down an unwanted path of wasted energy and time with someone that was never capable of meeting that need.

He is reflecting back to you where you fell short with yourself. that's not to send you down the rabbit hole of self-loathing but to make you more aware of your own power in who you attract/what you are creating. you have a blind spot that he is reflecting back to you- boundary issues for starters, but what is underneath that? because if you continue down this path with someone that makes you feel like shit , it is a dishonor to yourself, so I offer to dive deep into considering you may have some self-worth healing to explore. 

 

my two cents from personal experience, I'd stop all contact so you can separate his energy from yours and start diving inward so you can work on yourself and therefore attract the partner that matches that. 

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BellaDonna
Posts: 359
(@belladonna)
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what is the distance literally ? as in how far , where are you and where is he

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Pikachu111
(@pikachu111)
Joined: 2 years ago

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@belladonna I heard that sag men are flaky, you can’t pin them down and I tried not to be someone who would scare him away, and gave him all the space, and he took advantage of it.

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Pikachu111
(@pikachu111)
Joined: 2 years ago

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@belladonna and he never asked me, if I want to end it? Or not? He just told me, that I’m ending it. And can I talk to you sometimes being a friend if it doesn’t make you feel worse? To which I said “why would it make me feel bad?” It was not a very deep relationship. (Because I had to have some legacy) before that I asked him to stay and why doing this, when I said I’m okay, as it’s not a deep connection, he got mad and told me he was very serious and had butterflies in his stomach. How can I say it wasn’t a serious relationship.

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Pikachu111
Posts: 19
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(@pikachu111)
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I totally get what you’re trying to make me understand and I appreciate that you’re telling me sth I’ve been running from quite while now. I just confronted him, last night, what does he wants, he told me “do you still think I’m the right man lol? No” to this I said, no. I guess he just wants me to obsess over him, and beg him. Which I’m not doing, but being around him is draining all my energy, I can’t eat or sleep, he’s on my mind 24/7, I can’t work on my career like I used to. I just fell in love with him without knowing. And he doesn’t know that either. Self love is very important, but I’m just having a hard time at the moment and that’s the reason I’m feeling frustrated rn. He’s too much of himself. So much; that he was a different person when it started and now he’s cold, and trying to make me jealous, or stuff. 

yes the distance is like two different countries (he in Azerbaijan and I’m in Canada). 
and we have a language barrier too, his English is not very good either. 

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BellaDonna
(@belladonna)
Joined: 12 years ago

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Posts: 359

@pikachu111 and those literal physical barriers and the language barrier... are manifestations of the Venus Saturn. - keyword, barriers 

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BellaDonna
Posts: 359
(@belladonna)
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Joined: 12 years ago

if his response is literally/verbatim what you said, then it sounds emotionally abusive... and I'm sorry you're in pain but it doesn't sound like you are seeing this clearly. It's okay and necessary to grieve the disappointment so you can free yourself from it but obsessing over him is your ego distracting you from your soul's healing... because it really has nothing to do with him and all to do with you and that unconscious blindspot of yours that attracted him to begin with.. which I'm willing to be wrong but seems like it's self-worth related.

You have Venus opposite Saturn in Virgo/Pisces no less.

When we go through painful situations like this of rejection, our ego makes it about them to distract us from the lesson that will help us evolve, grow, and heal. It's not about him.. the rejection/and the pain is actually your higher self trying to get you to wake up and realize that YOU attracted him based on unconscious belief systems that you have that likely stem from issues of self-worth... unworthiness/inadequacy. Sucks? Yeah, but it can be healed!

Unconsciously meaning, it's energy from old wounds that haven't been cleared/healed so we play it out through painful scenarios such as this as a point of crisis, to either wake-up and take responsibility for/change... or let our ego have the reigns and make it all about them as a means to distract ourselves from actually growing and healing. 

YOU unconsciously attracted a person to reject you because your unconscious shadow carries a belief system that is matching that.. like draws like. So, until you stop making it about HIM and focus on your own inward healing, you will keep attracting this same person over and over with a new face until finally, you listen to your spirit and not your ego. The pain is to wake you up and make you more aware to move forward with healing and attracting people that reflect who you really are at a soul level... not to continue carrying out relationships with people that reflect our childhood baggage.

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Pikachu111
(@pikachu111)
Joined: 2 years ago

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@belladonna I’ve been trying hard, do you have any idea how to end it with him? So I can get some sigh of relief too. 

And I think yes you’re right? It could be my ego.

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BellaDonna
(@belladonna)
Joined: 12 years ago

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@pikachu111 as I suggested and as have others - you just cut off contact. If he contacts you, draw your boundary by saying that you want to honor his ending the relationship and move on with your life and that it's best you both go your separate ways, and if he doesn't respect the boundary - ignore.

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Pikachu111
(@pikachu111)
Joined: 2 years ago

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@belladonna I’m gonna do that Smile I’ll try to do it ASAP, so I can have some peace of mind too.

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BellaDonna
(@belladonna)
Joined: 12 years ago

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@pikachu111 if you are obsessing about someone that disrespects you, then yes - it's your ego.. because it's certainly not your soul. 

 

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Pikachu111
(@pikachu111)
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@belladonna yes, I think I should let him go instead. It’s just keeping me restless for days.

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canscocappy
Posts: 197
(@canscocappy)
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Well, let me tell you something funny at first: I'm a Cancer Sun/Scorpio Moon/Cap Asc and my brother-in-law is a Sag Sun/Pisces Moon/Cap Asc. We share the same Ascendant and the Moons are trine, and, even though we have the same native language, it's as if we both speak in a language that neither of us knows. Thank goodness my sis, a Leo Sun/Sag Moon/Pisces Asc, has become the interpreter between us! ? 

Now that we got this anecdote out of the way, it seems as if he wants to play the field, yet he knows that there's potential with you (your Moon conjuncts his NN). However, he's still too immature to commit (your Saturn squares his Sun/Moon/Merc despite not knowing his birth time). All in all, I'd pass too, because it seems he's still immature and he isn't at "that stage of life". 

 

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Satsun
Posts: 194
(@satsun)
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Joined: 9 years ago

I think Sags just want to have fun and also like to attract (and keep) attention. (I had a nearly 10-year relationship with a fascinating Sag specimen. But that was the problem : I was fascinated, which is not very realistic for a "serious" relationship.)

I think your feelings are too good for a guy like that and you're digging yourself into a sad hole.

The fact of being far apart probably exacerbates the problem. if you saw him every day for a few months, you'd probably wake up and walk out.

I wish you a good outcome and happier future!

 

 

 

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