Not in love with my...
 
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Not in love with my bf  


leobra1221
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I’m sort of in a mental bind here.

I’m in a relationship for about 7-8 months now. We get along great, never fight, both independent and laid back. Make eachother laugh have similar hobbies...And there’s nothing really “wrong” very low maintenance.

But the thing is I’m not in love. I really care about him as a person but I don’t have that love feeling. Since nothings wrong and we get along so well I figured I’d give it time, we had a close friendship prior to dating for a good 6 months, so we were able to get to know eachother well. I thought I’d give it a chance. No relationship for years prior to this. 
but I keep coming back to the feeling that something is missing in our relationship. But I feel guilty because for the most part he treats me so well. Shows a lot of affection buys me gifts etc.

he doesn’t get jealous and although we live 10 minutes apart he only asks to see me on weekends. Which I don’t mind I like my space but at the same time it’s like the whole week goes by and you would think I’d be dying to see him. I mean don’t get me wrong I look forward to it but I don’t feel like I “miss him so much”

I have a gut feeling this isn’t the one. But I’m terrified of hurting him. He’s never had a heartbreak and I know he has told me he loves me and i didn’t return. He tells me sweet things about how much he cares and I know it would deeply hurt him.

 

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Tam
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 Tam
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Is your natal Venus being transited? He sounds awesome! 

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leobra1221
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@tam he is. That’s why I don’t know why I have an issue. But I suppose you can’t force love.

And no I don’t think my venus is being transited. My venus is at 3 Degrees of Leo 

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Tam
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@leobra1221 Saturn is within orb of opposing your Venus. It was closer before it started retrograde in June. In January Jupiter, Mercury and Saturn will oppose your Venus

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leobra1221
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Posted by: @tam

@leobra1221 Saturn is within orb of opposing your Venus. It was closer before it started retrograde in June. In January Jupiter, Mercury and Saturn will oppose your Venus

So what exactly does this mean?

my venus is in my 4th house and Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn are all in my 10th ... Jupiter maybe in my 11th by then though 

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Tam
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@leobra1221 Saturn transiting opposite your natal Venus could cause some of the problems you describe. There are plenty of things on the internet about Saturn transits to natal Venus that will describe it better than I can.

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Osiris Wife
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It sounds like you're searching for something, perhaps, it's a path you feel compelled to seek/to walk. But I have this feeling that years from today, you might come to regret what you are about to do. 

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carmen
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 Hi ,

I don’t know your chart, and I’m not an astrologer, but I have my Leo in Venus , and while I was younger , I use to crave attention from cool guys, it made me feel alive , so I liked all the attention I got and even played with it. Like Osiris wife said, I do also think you might regret things in the area of your love life. A venus in Leo likes to be center stage , but since Leo is ruled by the sun, you also have to look at what you bring into the relationship. Now I’m older , I am more confident , I don’t chase for the attention anymore . Stability in a relationship is important. While I used to be the one who made it harder, because I had high expectations of how my love life had to be. Make sure you do your part too, otherwise In the end you could regret things. And the butterflies in the beginning of the relationship is wonderful. They vanish after a while. If you miss something it could also be that it’s your imagination. Your view of how a certain love story must be. I experienced a lot of flirts and love , but the stable love is what is most important. Not the meaningless flings, trust me a boy opposite how you describe your current boyfriend isn’t what you want. It will end up in heartbreak. 
carmen

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leobra1221
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@carmen

im not out for meaningless flings. I never have been. I actually enjoy stability and I’ve always said that but the thing is. We were friends before hand I never hit the stage of “butterflies in your stomach”

more so just comfort. It feels like best friends. Which I know is good because down the road that’s how relationships need to be. But I can’t help but feel... something isn’t quite there. You can’t force it?

 

but I’m also scared I’m gonna regret it like you said, what if I simply haven’t given it enough time?

I’ve been in relationships way shorter amount of time and felt more before... I just feel like I should “know” by now.

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carmen
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@leobra1221 

I do understand what you are saying, and I didn’t imply that you were out for flings. I was when I was younger. If I look at your name does it say you are maybe a Sun Leo and Libra rising or vice versa? 
im sun leo and Libra rising conjunct moon. And I tend to question everything, I need the balance in most things. But sometimes when things are out of balance , it’s mostly that we ourselves are out of sync. In my younger days , not that I’m that old lol. I had relationships where I felt more, but the relationship didn’t last. You are the one who has to make the decision, but in my point of my view , being best friends in a relationship is a treasure! You know eachother in and out.  Give it time, Saturn close to your Venus is making you feel restricted. And dampens the feelings of love and excitement. But it is for a good cause. In fact I don’t feel all lovey dovey but I do love my bf with all my heart. And he’s still the best thing that could ever happen to me. 
my former relationship gave me all the thrills and love chasing what I wanted ( thought I wanted ) in a relationship. And then suddenly the fire went out , my ex left me for another woman. Leaving me heartbroken, only to learn a huge lesson in life. 
find your lesson, find your imbalance. Love thyself first they say. 

I don’t want to sound condescending or belittling, just giving my 5 cents. 
take your time and maybe look at it from another point of view. Or at least wait until Saturn moves away from your natal Venus . The answer will show up.

 

carmen

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leobra1221
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@carmen

I am a Leo sun Libra moon Taurus rising leo venus and Libra mars.

im always big about finding the balance as well I actually preach it to others. But I appreciate you’re perspective. I am constantly weighing everything out.

It’s not that I don’t value him or appreciate what we have. But this nagging feeling I can’t shake. It’s very hard for me to let go of things/people. As much as I have weighed this situation out in my Head from every angle I still can’t come to a resolution.

All I know is if I think of marriage in the future I don’t necessarily picture him 

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carmen
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@leobra1221 Aha , Im a Leo sun with Libra rising and moon. Has Uranus already transited your Ascendant ?

if you really feel like this is going nowhere, then make peace with that, I understand it’s making hard to get to the point you have to make a choice. God knows ive been there and still often have difficulties in making choices. And with Venus ruled rising you do love the romance I get that. If it’s that you don’t want to hurt him, then ask yourself: What do you value most?and how would you like to be treated if it was you , flip the situation. As Taurus rising you maybe are slow in making the choice , but once it’s final it just is.

i hope you will find your way , nothing worse than a Leo who can’t make up her mind. 
All the best to you Smile

carmen

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leobra1221
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@carmen

thank you so much for you input I greatly appreciate you!

and yes I value romance and I believe In true love call me A hopeless romantic lol

nice to meet a Leo with libra moon so you understand where I’m coming from.

but yes I’ve told myself if it were me I would rather have the truth that hurts. And the irony here is I had a similar situation happen to me years ago, I was hooked and the guy wanted to break it off and stay friends. I was hurt and angry when it happened but I look back and am thankful he told me! And I’m over it.
I totally understand where that guy was coming from now it’s As if I’m in his shoes!

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anonymoushermit
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The title of the thread makes my heart ache, and is very valuable in shock value! 🤓 

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